The Skeptics Annotated Bible (886 page)

16 And it came to pass, as we went to prayer,
a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying
:

(16.16)
“A certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying.”

17 The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.

18 And this did she many days. But
Paul
, being grieved, turned and
said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.

(16.18) “Paul … said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her. And he came out the same hour.”

19 And when her masters saw that the hope of their gains was gone, they caught Paul and Silas, and drew them into the marketplace unto the rulers,

20 And brought them to the magistrates, saying, These men, being Jews, do exceedingly trouble our city,

21 And teach customs, which are not lawful for us to receive, neither to observe, being Romans.

22 And the multitude rose up together against them: and
the magistrates rent off their clothes
, and commanded to beat them.

(16.22)
“The magistrates rent off their clothes.”

23 And when they had laid many stripes upon them, they cast them into prison, charging the jailor to keep them safely:

24 Who, having received such a charge, thrust them into the inner prison, and made their feet fast in the stocks.

25 And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.

26 And
suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one’s bands were loosed.

(16.26)
Another holy prison break!
“Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one’s bands were loosed.”
Paul and Silas were rescued by an earthquake that opened all the doors of the prison.

27 And the keeper of the prison awaking out of his sleep, and seeing the prison doors open, he drew out his sword, and would have killed himself, supposing that the prisoners had been fled.

28 But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here.

29 Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas,

30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?

31 And they said,
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house
.

(16.31) “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.” If a husband believes, his whole family is automatically saved; otherwise, God will send them all to hell.
453 If a husband believes, is his wife saved also?
304 Is Salvation by faith alone?

32 And they spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house.

33 And
he
took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and
was baptized, he and all his, straightway.

(16.33)
“He … was baptized, he and all his, straightway.
” The jailer was so impressed with the holy jailbreak that he converted on the spot. He and his entire family were baptized that night. It didn’t matter to Paul (or God) what the jailer’s wife and kids thought about it. His family belonged to him, so he could do whatever he wanted with (or to) them. (This stupid story supports the idea of infant baptism, which has divided Christians for centuries.)