The Skeptics Annotated Bible (963 page)

15 All that are with me salute thee. Greet them that love us in the faith. Grace be with you all. Amen.

The bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.
—
Philemon 7

This short letter was written by Paul to his slave-owner friend and fellow believer, Philemon. Paul was writing about Onesimus, whom he had recently converted, and who happened to also be a runaway slave belonging to Philemon. Since Paul was in a position of authority among believers, this would have been a great opportunity for him (and God) to condemn slavery—if he (and God) had anything against it, that is. But apparently he didn’t. Instead he returned the slave to his owner without so much as a word against the institution of slavery.

The only other thing of interest in this letter is the rather strange expression, “refresh my bowels in the Lord.” Okay, I know that Paul’s bowel trouble is just an artifact of the King James translation. But it sounds too funny to pass up.

1
Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ, and Timothy our brother, unto Philemon our dearly beloved, and fellowlabourer, 2 And to our beloved Apphia, and Archippus our fellowsoldier, and to the church in thy house:

3 Grace to you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

4 I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers,

5 Hearing of thy love and faith, which thou hast toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all saints;

6 That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.

(7, 12, 20) Refreshing the bowels of the saints in the Lord

7 For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because
the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.

(7)
“The bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.”

8 Wherefore, though I might be much bold in Christ to enjoin thee that which is convenient,

9 Yet for love’s sake I rather beseech thee, being such an one as Paul the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ.

10
I beseech thee for my son Onesimus
, whom I have begotten in my bonds:

11 Which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me:

12
Whom I have sent
again: thou therefore
receive him, that is, mine own bowels
:

(10-12a) “I beseech thee for my son Onesimus … Whom I have sent.” Paul returned the runaway slave, Onesimus, to his “rightful owner,” Philemon, asking him to receive him just as though he were Paul’s very “own bowels.” This was, of course, a great opportunity for Paul (and God) to condemn slavery—if he had anything against it, that is. But he didn’t. So he returned the slave to his owner without a word against the institution of slavery.
42 Does God approve of slavery?

(12b)
“Receive him, that is, mine own bowels.”

13 Whom I would have retained with me, that in thy stead he might have ministered unto me in the bonds of the gospel:

14 But without thy mind would I do nothing; that thy benefit should not be as it were of necessity, but willingly.

15 For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever;

16 Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved, specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?

17 If thou count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself.

18 If he hath wronged thee, or oweth thee ought, put that on mine account;

19 I Paul have written it with mine own hand, I will repay it: albeit I do not say to thee how thou owest unto me even thine own self besides.

20 Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord:
refresh my bowels in the Lord.

(20) “Refresh my bowels in the Lord.”

21 Having confidence in thy obedience I wrote unto thee, knowing that thou wilt also do more than I say.

22 But withal prepare me also a lodging: for I trust that through your prayers I shall be given unto you.

23 There salute thee Epaphras, my fellowprisoner in Christ Jesus;

24 Marcus, Aristarchus, Demas, Lucas, my fellowlabourers.

25 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. —
Hebrews 10.37

Although the author of Hebrews never claims to be Paul (and wasn’t), he wanted people to think that he was (13.23). And it worked, which is why Hebrews is now part of the New Testament.

I find the book tiresome to read, though there is some fun stuff in chapter 11. The author praises the most atrocious acts in the Hebrew Bible and credits them all to faith. If that’s what faith can do, it’s a good thing to stay away from.

Here are the highlights:

• The author of Hebrews believed that he was living in the “last days.”
  1.2
  ,
  9.26
  ,
  10.25
  ,
  10.37
  
• Every skeptic and nonbeliever has “an evil heart of unbelief.”
  3.12
  
• It is impossible for fallen-away Christians to be saved. (Didn’t the author know about confession or the finality of being saved?)
  6.4-6
  
• Apostates will burn in hell with all the other non-believers.
  6.8
  
• Melchisedec had no father or mother. He was never born (he just appeared ready-made by God) and he never died. He’s still around somewhere.
  7.3
  
• God will not forgive us unless we shed the blood of some innocent creature.
  9.13-22
  
• Those who disobeyed the Hebrew Bible’s laws were killed without mercy. It will be much worse for those who displease Jesus.
  10.28-29
  
• “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”
  10.31
  
• Faith is believing without evidence things that you wish were true (but aren’t).
  11.1
  
• If you’re not a Christian, it’s impossible to please God.
  11.6
  
• “By faith Noah … condemned the world.”
  11.7
  
• “Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed.”
  11.11
  
• “Abraham … offered up Isaac … his only begotten son.” (To the author of Hebrews this was a good thing.)
  11.17
  
• Moses “kept the passover, and the sprinkling of blood, lest he that destroyed the firstborn should touch them.”
  11.28
  
• “By faith the walls of Jericho fell down.”
  11.30
  
• “By faith the harlot Rahab perished not with them that believed not.”
  11.31
  
• The heroes of faith (Samson, Jephthah, David, and Samuel). It would be hard to find a more monstrous group than these guys.
  11.32
  
• “Others were tortured … that they might obtain a better resurrection.”
  11.35
  
• God always hurts the ones he loves. If he doesn’t hurt you, you’re a bastard, not a son.
  12.6-8
  
• God ordered animals to be “stoned, or thrust through with a dart” if they “so much as … touch the mountain.”
  12.20
  
• Avoid “strange doctrines.” Those who do so will avoid nearly everything in the Bible.
  13.9
  

1
God
, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets,

2
Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son
, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds;

(1.1-2)
“God … hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son.”
The author of Hebrews believed that he was living in the “last days.”

3 Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high;

4 Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they.

5 For unto which of the angels said he at any time, Thou art my Son, this day have I begotten thee? And again, I will be to him a Father, and he shall be to me a Son?

6 And again, when he bringeth in the firstbegotten into the world, he saith, And let all the angels of God worship him.

7 And of the angels he saith, Who maketh his angels spirits, and his ministers a flame of fire.

8 But
unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever
: a sceptre of righteousness is the sceptre of thy kingdom.

(1.8) “Unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever.”
349 Is Jesus God?