The Soldier's Bride (26 page)

“Jim, I’m sorry about earlier. I hope you understand why I didn’t want you to come to the practice.”

“Of course. I apologize for being ornery.”

Evelyn adjusted her scarf and slowed her pace. “It shouldn’t have taken me this long to say this, but I’m so thankful God brought you back to me.”

Jim chuckled. “For a while there, I thought maybe I had died and gone to the other place.”

“I’m sorry.”

He stopped and pulled her close to him. “No more apologies. Just as long as I know you love me, it’s enough.”

“I never stopped loving you, Jim.”

His breath hung in frosty mists around her and she parted her lips. With some hesitation, Jim closed the distance between them and kissed her. He pulled back and grinned. “I love you.”

As they neared the house, the wind picked up and brightened her cheeks with the chill of December. She hummed a bit of the song she had sung for Jim, releasing it on the breeze so all the world would know her heart’s devotion. Perhaps she hoped that the next time she heard the song of the wind it would serve as a reminder of this bittersweet night when Evelyn Patterson gave her heart to Jim for safekeeping. Maybe it could give her strength to push back the ever-present doubt that tried to creep into her corner of happiness.

She warmed her hands by the fire while Jim fed the hungry flames a few more logs. Marie and Harold had claimed exhaustion, but Evelyn knew her mother wanted to steer clear of the new lovebirds, making sure their fragile hearts had time to reconnect.

As she ascended the stairs with Jim close at her heels, she thought how the time they would spend together from here on out would provide a cushion for love on the mend. Both of their hearts had been broken, although the fissures in Jim’s might spread wider than she would ever know. Their marriage would never be the way it was when Jim left for the war, but Evelyn wouldn’t begrudge that.

She tucked the blanket around Danny and touched his warm back, feeling the vibrations of his breath. Rewinding the past would mean missing out on the past two joyous years of her son’s life. She had to hope that their hearts would only be stronger now. Like the trees out in the yard that had constantly pushed back against the force of the wind to stay upright for so many years. Evelyn hoped the problems of the past would provide immunity for their love in the future.

“It was a wonderful night,” Jim whispered.

He turned to go to the spare bedroom and she grabbed his hand.

“I want you to stay with me,” she said.

“Are you sure?”

It was apparent how much he wanted to be near her. Evelyn nodded and pulled him toward her bedroom. Jim hesitated and then followed. They stood in silence for a moment, and she noticed the color in Jim’s cheeks. It reminded her of how she used to tease him for blushing so easily.

“My things are in the other room, shall I get them?” Jim rubbed his foot back and forth on the edge of the rug, looking at her earnestly.

“You can put them in the bureau—left side.” She motioned to the six drawers filled with her belongings. “I’ll change while you get your things.”

There, his cheeks reddened again, and she smiled. He was trying so hard to hide his desire, part of her wanted to hold him, but she knew it would make things more difficult. Instead, she brushed her fingertips along his hand as she passed him. She opened the second drawer of the bureau and pulled out a soft cotton nightgown in a light shade of pink. She turned and stopped when she saw the intensity in Jim’s eyes.

“I remember that nightgown,” he said, and now it was her turn to blush. Of course he would remember since his mother had given Evelyn the fabric a few weeks before she had died. Jim’s sister didn’t want to haul her mother’s sewing machine to Ohio and so she let Evelyn have it. Evelyn had been thrilled, and the nightgown had been the very first thing she’d made on the fancy Singer treadle.

“I’ve made most of Danny’s clothes. Mother’s been teaching me so I can make some more things for myself.”

His Adam’s apple rose and fell before he spoke. “I remember. There were so many times I tried to remember even the smallest things, and then I would. I’d remember something like that nightgown but not be able to connect, not understand why I remembered it.”

She twisted a ruffle of the nightgown in her hands and stood up straighter. “I wish you didn’t have to go through that.”

He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her arms. “I wish the same for you.” He kissed her forehead and she rested her cheek on his chest.

“Are you still worried?” he murmured.

“I’m afraid, but I want to be with you.” She bit her lip. “I hope you haven’t run out of patience yet, because it may take some time before I can get rid of my fears.”

He rubbed her back in slow circles. “I’m just happy to be with you. I learned patience in the war. As a prisoner, one false start could mean your life.” He hugged her. “I’ll go get my things.”

She changed quickly and tried to quiet the tremors inside. In the bathroom, she ran her hands under the warm water and splashed her face several times. After she finished brushing her teeth, she returned to her room. She felt anxious and so she tidied up her dresser and pulled back the quilt on the bed.

When the floorboard in the hall creaked, she whirled around and faced the door, sinking onto the edge of the bed as the knob turned. Jim filled the door frame and Evelyn recalled the first time she’d compared her average five-foot-five-inch build to his six-foot-two-inch height.

He wore flannel pajama pants and a plain white cotton T-shirt stretched tight over his chest. Jim’s physique showed he had lost some weight, but the muscles in his arms attested to the airman strength he’d been careful to keep.

The door clicked shut behind him, and she felt his energy bouncing around the room. Jim smiled, and she didn’t attempt to hide how she stared at him.

He switched off the light. Evelyn felt another nervous tremor pass through her. She took a deep breath and climbed into bed. The springs squeaked when Jim settled onto the mattress.

“Thank you—for letting me be near you,” he said.

She reminded herself of Jim’s gentle nature and defied her instinct to run. “Thank you for being you.”

“Good night, Evelyn. I love you,” Jim said.

“I love you, too.” She curled up and faced the wall, the same way she did every night, but sleep wouldn’t come while she felt the heat from Jim’s body so close to her own.

“Are you cold?” He put his hand on her arm

“A little.”

He started to move his hand around her waist to pull her closer, the same way he used to. Then he stopped. Before he could withdraw completely, she touched his fingers, pulled his hand across her middle, and snuggled closer to him. They didn’t speak, but eventually the tenseness between them dissolved.

His body felt so warm and comforting, and for a moment good memories of her husband overtook her fear. His lips moistened the back of her neck and tickled her earlobe. She giggled and he nuzzled the side of her face.

“Just like old times,” he whispered.

With a smile, Evelyn turned and snuggled closer to her husband. She knew her action took him by surprise by the momentary hesitation she felt before he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

Memories of their first few months together flooded her mind, and Evelyn allowed them to cover thoughts of Sterling. She forced herself to live in this moment with Jim and not cheat him out of any more happiness.

She kissed his neck and he shifted his face closer to hers, his eyes bright with desire. He covered her mouth with his, and Evelyn felt the stubble of his cheek press against hers. Each kiss lasted longer than the one before. She felt the passion in Jim’s embrace but noticed that he was careful not to appear as urgent as when he had kissed her in this same room a week before.

Holding her close, he kissed her until a tingling of desire ran through her. He pressed his body against hers and then jerked back. “I’m sorry.” He groaned and rolled onto his back.

With her heart racing, she turned on her side and placed a hand on his cheek. “I’m okay.”

He glanced at her. “Are you sure? I—I didn’t want to get carried away.”

Evelyn nodded and moved closer to him. She kissed his cheek, nibbled on his ear, and laughed at Jim’s sharp intake of breath. His mouth moved over her neck and down past her collarbone. He hesitated near the neckline of her nightgown and Evelyn shifted, pulling the soft material over her head. Jim held very still, his eyes questioning hers and Evelyn felt a surge of love toward her husband. She leaned closer to him until their bodies were touching.

“I love you, Jim.”

“Evelyn, I love you so much it hurts,” Jim whispered.

She kissed him again, holding him tight and reveling in the closeness she had missed for so long. The night beat out a rhythm all its own as their bodies became one. As Evelyn’s desire for her husband rose, she found she was no longer afraid. She clung to him in the darkness and felt his love filling up the weak places in her heart.

~*~

Gentle hands caressed her face, bringing her awareness to the dawn. Evelyn opened her eyes and saw the light casting shadows across the chilly room, and then she turned her head and saw Jim. He was propped up on one elbow, his arm covering her as he trailed his fingers through her hair.

“I used to watch you sleep before. I could always tell how things were here . . .” He placed his hand over her heart. “By those last moments of sleep before you opened your eyes.”

She opened her arms to him, pulling his head down for a kiss. Jim made love to her again as he had the night before—every moment so tender and passionate that Evelyn felt as if they’d never been apart.

Afterward, she rested her head on his chest, tracing her fingers along the muscles in his arms.

“Thank you for being my wife,” Jim said.

She smiled at him, understanding all that he was saying. “Always.”

“Are you okay?” he studied her.

“Better than okay.” She nuzzled his neck and sighed. “Tell me about when you remembered me.”

Jim kissed her brow and smoothed the hair away from her face. “It was at the hospital in Minneapolis. Lots of children there getting therapy sponsored by that new program, the March of Dimes.”

“Mmm, Roosevelt’s program. I heard about it—saving our dimes,” she said.

“There was a little Japanese girl there recovering from polio. She had a music box. The first time I heard it, I felt like I had just awakened. All of these images flashed through my mind. I saw a beautiful young lady with wavy hair. It was reddish-brown, but darker brown like the color of her eyes.”

He picked up a strand of her hair and grinned. “I knew I had a connection to her—to you. When I heard the music I knew I had to hurry because someone was waiting for me.”

Evelyn traced a finger along Jim’s chest. He covered her hand with his. “The nurses wound the music box for that little girl all the time, and she loved listening to it. I talked to her. Emika was her name. One of her legs was partially paralyzed from the polio, and she had to do a lot of therapy for it. She was only six. I noticed how she would close her eyes and listen, so one day I told her something I learned in the war: Listen close enough and you can change the world.”

“That’s beautiful, Jim.”

“Listening changed my world. It brought me back to you.” He brushed a kiss across her lips. “I knew the tune sounded familiar, but it wasn’t until I came back that I remembered where I had heard it before.”

“Do you think it could be the same music box?”

“That would be impossible. I’m sure there were dozens made like it.” Jim looked up at the ceiling. “You know, I remember the man that sold the music box to me. He told me at the time that it was special—too special for one person to keep forever.”

“I remember,” Evelyn said. “In your note, you said that there was a secret I’d find only by passing it on.”

“Yes, that was it,” Jim said. “He made me promise I’d remember the secret.”

“What was the secret?”

“Love. The more you give away, the stronger it becomes. At the time I didn’t really understand what he meant, but now I do.” Jim kissed Evelyn gently.

“I wonder if we could find another one like it.” She twisted the wedding band around her finger, watching the light glint off the gold.

“Well, I bought it when I was on the base in Colorado Springs, but it wouldn’t hurt to look around Aspen Falls and Callaway Grove.”

Evelyn smiled and her eyes sparkled. “I’d like that.” She kissed Jim. “It’s like a story out of a book. You coming back to me through a song, and me here singing that same song all the time to our son.”

As if on cue, they heard Danny shaking his crib in the next room. “No more nigh-night,” he called.

Evelyn and Jim laughed. They dressed and hurried to their son’s room together.

They looked in all the department stores for a music box like the one Jim had bought. There were many of similar construction, but none held the same lilting tune or the tiny ballerina.

“It’s okay. I know the tune by heart.” Evelyn hummed and squeezed Jim’s hand.

“I would say I’m sorry I told you to let it go, but I think that man was right. There’s something special about that music box—something made more special by you giving it away.”

“I think you’re right,” she said.

That night as she lay in Jim’s arms, she sang the full version of the song and he hummed along, his bass voice rumbling in his chest. Each night she felt a little more at ease, and each morning she awoke to Jim watching her with love in his eyes.

But when she stretched and opened her eyes a few days before Christmas, Jim’s face held a different expression.

“What’s wrong?” she asked when she noticed his guarded look.

“You said his name last night—you called for him.”

Evelyn brought her hands to her cheeks to cover the dark pink spots she knew had appeared, for she had dreamed of Sterling last night.

Jim moved a finger over the edge of the sheet, a snag on his nail made a scratching noise as he pulled it back and forth. “I know you can’t control your dreams, but it got me to wondering. How much are you still thinking about him?”