The Solitude of Passion (32 page)

“Is it because you were weak, Lee?” Max gives a slow blink as he waits for the answer. There was not one ounce of judgment this time, just an observation he wants to quantify with the facts. “Because if you would have rephrased the invitation by telling me you were probably going to fall into bed with him if I didn’t chaperone, then yes—I would have gladly gone with you.” His tone sharpens. The temperature in the room drops about twenty degrees with Max’s icy stare. “Or was it the plan all along for me not to go?”

Shit. This is turning into a bloodbath. This isn’t helping. It’s terminating my matrimonial union—sacrificing it like a lamb at the slaughter.

“I didn’t
plan
on anything. I told you what happened. The restaurant was full, so was the dining room in the hotel. We had a concierge practically shove a key down our throats. We just needed someplace to talk in peace, that’s all.” Why in the hell did I ever volunteer to come here? All this emotional chaos makes me want to crawl into a coffin and sleep alongside my mother.

“It was an affair, Lee,” he says it calm, almost quiet but his eyes bloom in a pink shower of pain and let me know how much this kills him. “You broke a sacred trust.” He swallows hard. “Lee,” my name comes out almost inaudible, “I forgive you.” He pulls me in and dots a heated kiss over my lips. “I’m not bringing it up ever again. It’s done for me. So this is what I’m wondering”—he shifts in his seat—“if it’s over for you like you swore to me that night, why is Mitch still occupying space in our home?”

“Because he thinks it’s his home,” I say it weak.

“Then maybe we should take our kids and move.”

Max is stoic, unrelenting in his love for our family—equally devoted to his hatred toward Mitch.

“One thing at a time.” Dr. Van Guard taps his pen. “Max—Mitch shared with us a little about your history together. What I find interesting is that there seems to be a gap of about five or six months between discovering your parents were having an affair to the disconnect in your relationship. What do you think happened?”

“What did he say happened?” Max squints into the question as if he might have an inkling, but he’s slow to share.

“He said it fizzled out that summer.”

“Fizzled out is right, but I’m not sure why. I wouldn’t mind an answer to that one myself.” Max leans back and exhales. “We were hanging out long after his dad died. I was a pallbearer at his father’s funeral. We did everything together. Then I left that August to go back East, when I came back I was blackballed by Mitch and his friends. They ruled the school, so it made for a pretty lousy senior year.”

That was the year he got together with Viv. No wonder—she was practically a pariah herself.

“I’m sorry.” I pull him in and rest my head over his chest. His heart beats with an unsteady rhythm, and I want everything else to disappear so I can linger here and feel Max thunder beneath me for an eternity.

“Not your fault.” He lands a soft kiss on the top of my head.

Dr. Van Guard flicks his pen in our direction. “What did you think of Lee during high school?”

“I worshiped her.” Max gives a sad smile.

I blink into him, stunned. After that night we shared together, he went on vacation. When he came back, he didn’t so much as look twice in my direction. I wonder what would have happened if he did—if he brought his worship front and center.

It might have changed everything.

Mitch

The secretary motions for me to head back inside, so I do.

Lee’s got a wad of tissue in her hand. Her eyes are lit up like stoplights, and she looks like she’s been dragged behind a freight train.

What the hell did he say to her? It makes me want to snatch the gold pen the doctor has been molesting and jab Max in the eye with it.

“Hey, you okay?” I whisper to Lee as I take a seat. She nods and takes in a quivering breath that suggests otherwise.

“I’m glad I had an opportunity to meet with the three of you.” Dr. Van Guard strums his fingers. “Normally I like to see my clients once a week, however, this is an extraordinary situation—I think it’s important we progress a little quicker. I’d like to see you back in three or four days. Does Monday sound good to everyone?”

We nod in turn.

If it helps Lee shed Max like dead skin, I’ll show up every fucking day and twice on Sunday.

Dr. V nods. “I’d like to give you some homework, but before I do I need to clarify something to you, Max.”

Great. Clarify the fact he needs to be disposed of—quickly. I fold my arms and wait for the anvil to crack his skull in half and reveal the maggots crawling around inside.

“Max, I’m not asking you to take a break from your marriage. In fact, quite the opposite, but what I do ask of you is to keep your mind open for the sake of helping Lee come to a clear decision of what she needs to do.” He shifts his focus. “Lee, if in your heart you feel like you’re married to two men like you mentioned, you’re going to need to do some real soul searching. I suggest you spend some serious time meditating over this and really listen to what your heart says. The homework will be quite simple. Mitch, you take Lee out on a date tomorrow night, if that works with your schedule. And, Max, you take her out the next night. This isn’t a couples night, but more of a first date if you will. Lee, I would caution you from treating either of these men with intimate relations until after you’ve come to a firm decision. It wouldn’t be fair to anybody until you’ve decided what direction you’re going to take in life. As for sleeping arrangements, I’ll let you figure those out.”

A weight lifts off me, heavy as a king-sized bed. One good thing came from this. Both Max and his dick have been handed restraining orders. It’s hard trying to hide the shit-eating grin threatening to break out on my face, but I keep it under wraps for Lee’s sake.

“Any questions?” The good doctor pans the three of us.

I raise my hand just enough. “So would you suggest that Max move out of the bedroom?” Say yes.

Max leans in and glares. It looks like the penile chastity belt is starting to pinch his balls.

“I highly recommend this.” Dr. Van Guard nods in agreement. “Then again, I can’t enforce any rules.”

“Mitch took the guest room.” He shrugs in my direction. “Looks like you should’ve built a bigger house or never left for China, but then you never make the right decisions, do you Mitch?”

Lee’s eyes expand wide as dinner plates. She doesn’t seem too impressed with the Mr. at the moment. I’ll just keep handing Max some rope, sooner than later we’ll have a marriage to bury, and it won’t be mine.

We head off in separate directions with Max telling Lee he’ll pick up the kids. I’m sure he’ll do the laundry, the dishes, and lick the floors clean with his tongue to get on her good side.

I tell Lee I’ll pick up dinner, but I need to swing by my mother’s first. It’s not until I make the final turn that I see Max’s SUV sitting high on the driveway with both Stella and Eli spilling out of the house.

I park and run up with a smile on my face just for the kids.

“Picture Daddy!” Stella barrels into my arms at top speed. Eli says something that sounds just about the same, and I give an amused smile over to Max.

“That’s very cute,” Mom says, mostly to defuse the time bomb that is Max Shepherd.

“Cute indeed,” Max says without an ounce of enthusiasm. He unlocks his truck, and it burps and squeaks to life. The kids hop on in like they’ve been training hard for the Shepherd circus. God knows once I remove Max from the picture, I’ll spare them of that fate.

“So”—Mom looks from me to Max—“how’d it go?”

“It went.” Max gives her a hug and plants a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks for watching the kids.”

“Max has to move out of the bedroom,” I offer. “We’re all booked at Townsend Inn. Maybe you’ve got a few rooms to spare. Why don’t you move here for a while, Max?” My lips pinch into a smile, and I don’t bother holding it back this time.

“Out of the bedroom?” My mother places her hand to her chest as if the thought made her sick. Another man is shacking up with my wife, and she’s
stunned
he’s been ordered to haul ass off my fucking bed? Obviously the Shepherd spell is much more potent than I give it credit for. We should have steered clear of the entire lot of them from the beginning. I’m sure after giving it some thought, Mom would be the first to agree.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures in that calm annoying baritone of his. “In fact, Mitch officially moved into the guest room—we’re all getting along famously.” He glares into me once my mother has her back turned. “You up for a game of Scrabble later?” He taunts me with the gesture.

“You bet.” I wonder how many points I can get for
asshole
.

The phone rings from inside, and Mom excuses herself as she waves to the kids.

“Chinese okay for dinner?” I ask, mockingly.

“It is if you’re going to China to get it.” He gives a placid smile. “I’m okay if it’s a decade or two late.”

“Fuck you,” I say it low for his ears only.

His eyes steady in on mine. “No Mitch, that’s what life did to you.”

“Nice,” I say as he gets into the car. I wave to the kids as he backs out of the driveway with a tailspin.

Mom speeds from the house and sticks the phone in my hand.

“Mitch?” A familiar male voice booms from the other line. “Kyle Wong.”

“What’s going on?” I breathe into the receiver still amped from the exchange with Max.

“What are you doing tomorrow at three-thirty in the morning?”

“Sleeping.”

“Wrong. It’s time for your fifteen minutes my friend.”

Max

“I’m thinking Eli’s room.” Lee taps her finger against her nose.

“I’m thinking not.” I breeze past her into the bedroom and pull out a pair of sweats and a T-shirt from the dresser.

She follows me in and sits down next to me on the bed. The soft scent of spring flowers trails her—a scent that used to make me happy, and, now, it just makes me uncertain. On more than one occasion when she wasn’t home, I’d take the cap off her perfume just to inhale her scent. It would feel like she was right there with me—Lee in a bottle. And now I wonder if that’s all I’ll be left with once this nightmare is said and done—a bottle, a scent, nothing but perfumed air.

The kids are downstairs, busy with the all important childhood task of watching the tube. Thankfully, for my sanity, Mitch is still a no show. I’d rather starve than have him play delivery boy.

“Max”—Lee pulls my hand to her mouth and holds it there—“you’re not really going to stay in here, are you?”

“Yes,” I say bewildered. “I’m really going to stay in here.” I pull off my jeans and throw on my sweats. I’m hoping it’ll be this easy, and Lee will agree—
demand
I stay in the bedroom. “We like sleeping together, it’s what makes us,
us
.”

“I know.” She falls back on her elbows and closes her eyes a moment. “But Dr. Van Guard says we should have you move for a little while. I can bring up an air mattress. Eli would—”

“Eli would wonder what the hell went wrong. So would Stella.” I steady my gaze over her. Lee’s top is slipping off her shoulder. Her lips are parted like a promise. If I didn’t know better, if we were the old Lee and Max, I would swear she was seducing me. “Right now things seem to be working with me in here.” Not really, but I’m not that into details today. “I swear I’ll keep my mitts to myself.” I hold up my hands before collapsing over her on the bed. Lee pants into me, her eyes steady over mine with that wide-eyed innocence I love so damn much. I dip down with a kiss and hold my lips over hers waiting and then she does it, Lee pulls me in by the back of the neck and swipes her tongue over mine, delicate at first then demanding, large and in charge.

“You still want me, Lee,” I moan with a smile sliding up my cheek. “Your tongue just testified to the fact. Let me stay. I’ll behave.”

“Like you are now?” She pushes my finger into her mouth and bathes it between her lips causing my sweats to pitch like a tent.

She’s not behaving, but I’ll be the last person to call her on it. Hell, if she wants to break all the fucking rules I’m one hundred percent on board.

I take her hand and place it over the rock hard protrusion she’s causing in my boxers.

“See what you do to me?” A soft laugh rumbles through my chest. “Let me sleep here tonight. I’ll voluntarily withdraw my weapon.” I place her hand gently by her side. “Although, I can’t be blamed for any actions that take place in my sleep.” I plant a kiss on top of her forehead and linger. “Besides, I broke my back in the fields yesterday.” I roll over onto the mattress and groan under my own bodyweight. “You don’t want me going out on disability, do you?”

“Definitely not, considering it dings my labor report.” She hovers over me, looking at me with those long, dark lashes. A burst of light glows in through the window as her face illuminates from the fuchsia sunset.

I take her in like this—Lee, the golden goddess. She can rule the universe with her smile alone. Her eyes could spark a thousand revolutions. I’m damn lucky I only have one jackass to fight off. Unfortunately, for me, the jackass in question is Mitch.