The Song of Eloh Saga (13 page)

He turned away, his shoulder shaking slightly. I could see the pressure building in his body as his muscles tensed up.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But I’ll figure it out. Why do you think I’ve been coming by every day?”

“To see Ivy?” I stuttered. I knew it wasn’t true. He wasn’t interested in her at all. I’d just had no idea his interest lie in me.

“In a way, yes, to see Ivy. To figure out what she’s up to, but I don’t know yet. That girl is hiding something. That much I can assure you.”

“Why are you so certain? What did she ever do to you?”

He turned slowly and placed his hands on my shoulders.

“I just know, Reychel. You have to trust me.”

“I can’t. You have to tell me the truth. I’m so tired of taking what everyone says at face value. My whole life I’ve just trusted people, but lately I’ve learned everything I thought I knew has held only a shadow of the truth. If you want me to trust you, then you need to trust me first,” I stared into his eyes, daring him to confide in me.

He dropped his arms to his sides.

“I’ve never told anyone this before,” he said.

“Tell me,” I begged taking his hands in mine.

“I’m gifted too,” he said.

“No, you’re not. I know how to detect it and I don’t see anything in your eyes.”

“Look again,” he said, coming closer stopping only when we were nose-to-nose.

I breathed lightly as I looked into his eyes. There was no spark. I didn’t know what kind of game he was playing, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. Then suddenly it was there. A spark shining so brightly that I couldn’t help but gasp as I pulled back.

“How did you do that?” I asked, stunned at what I had seen.

“It’s a shield,” he said. “I can make them and detect them.”

“You’re so strong,” I said. “Stronger than Johna. And much stronger than Ivy.”

“I am, but not as strong as you. The night I first met you, I rushed home and after my perfunctory greetings to my parents, I checked my eyes in a mirror. They don’t glow nearly as strong as yours.”

“But close?” I asked.

“Very close,” he said with a smile.

My thoughts lay in a jumble as I considered everything. He was telling the truth, but he must be wrong about Ivy. She was my dearest friend. I couldn’t believe she had other reasons for sticking by me.

“It’s how I know Ivy’s not what you think,” he said. “I can detect walls in people’s minds. Secrets. I can’t read them, but I know they are there. When Ivy looks at you, that part of her bulks up. She’s hiding something from you Reychel.”

“I don’t know what to think,” I said, confused. “Is anything simple anymore?”

“No,” he said. “It’s not.”

Chapter Ten

As I stretched my arms above my head, I thought about how late I was out last night. After revealing his secret, Mark hugged me, said goodnight, and then crawled into his bedroll not far from where we had stood. It was the last time we spoke, but I hung around on the stump for a while longer staring at the moon and stars.

I couldn’t conceive of Ivy being anything other than my best friend. Eventually I gave up thinking about it and slipped back through the window. Johna snored in her bed and Ivy’s head hid under the blankets. Everyone had been asleep, my midnight jaunt still secret.

The mirror on the bedside table showed my black stubble had changed to measurable wisps of hair. Johna’s hearty meals gave heft to my cheeks, replacing the sunken indentations from my life as a slave. My hands were no longer callused and raw. New skin had softened them into the delicate hands of a woman who picks herbs, not one who washes and dries dishes all day.

I was so absorbed in examining my own appearance, I didn’t notice Ivy standing in the doorway until she spoke.

“Trying to see what he sees in you?” Ivy hissed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Mark,” Ivy said, closing the door behind her as she stepped into the room. “I woke up last night when you sneaked out to meet him.”

“I didn’t sneak out to meet him,” I tried to explain.

“Sure. That’s why I looked out the knothole and saw you two standing there whispering and with his hands on your shoulders. Hardly an innocent position.”

“You don’t understand,” I said. “I went outside to be outside. Not to be with Mark. I didn’t even know he was there.”

“I can’t believe this, Reychel. I told you how I felt about him. The one time in our lives that I’ve asked something from you and you took it away from me. How could you do this?” Ivy stomped her foot as tears streamed down her face.

“He’s mine!” she yelled. “Mine! Do you hear me?”

“Ivy, he’s certainly not mine,” I said, taking a deep breath. “But he’s not yours either.”

“How dare you?” Ivy’s arm reached out to me, her fingers spread.

I backed out of her reach.

“Don’t touch me,” I said. “You’re trying to soothe me, aren’t you?”

“Just let me,” Ivy choked out between sobs, her hand shaking. “I’ve done it to you your whole life. You wouldn’t have anything if it weren’t for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re so stupid, Reychel. You’ve always been stupid. You had it all. I had nothing. The only way I got close to having something was to soothe secrets out of people. They talk when they’re relaxed, you know. People tell me things they wouldn’t normally talk about.

“I know things that would blow your mind,” Ivy continued. “I could destroy your whole world with four words. And now that you’ve ruined the only thing I’ve ever wanted by taking Mark away from me…”

Ivy paused, staring at me for a moment.

“I didn’t take him away from you,” I insisted. “He’s just a friend.”

“He doesn’t want me,” Ivy said, her eyes narrowing. “He wants you. Just like everyone else. It’s always about you, Reychel. When is it going to be about me?”

I couldn’t believe this. Shaking my head, I moved closer to Ivy ready to take her in my arms. Maybe all she needed was a hug, a reassurance that I didn’t want Mark.

Ivy stepped backwards. “I’m done with you. I’m leaving.”

“What?” I reached out for her again but she slapped my arm.

“I know the basics in herbology, at least enough to make a living. I’m leaving.”

Ivy packed her few possessions into the bag Tania had given her. I watched, unable to bring myself to stop her. Maybe what Mark had told me was true. Ivy had been keeping secrets, big ones it seemed.

“Where will you go?” I asked.

Ivy whirled around. “Do you even care? You have everything you want here. A place to hide and a boy to love.”

“I don’t,” I started.

“Don’t you dare say that you don’t love him too,” Ivy snarled. “I don’t have to soothe you to see it. You’re so obvious to everyone but yourself.”

Ivy stormed out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her. I overheard a quick argument between Ivy and Johna and then I heard the front door closed. I sank down on the bed, head in my hands, and refused to move even though the door creaked open.

“What just happened here?” Johna demanded.

My tearless eyes looked up at Johna. I wanted to cry, but nothing would come.

“Ivy’s gone,” I responded.

“I’m aware of that, child. Tell me more.”

“She thinks I’m in love with Mark.”

“That much is obvious,” Johna said. “All of this is about jealousy because you love him?”

I sighed. Didn’t anyone understand? I wasn’t in love with Mark.

“Ivy also said she knows something about me. Some kind of secret. Mark,” I paused, not wanting to reveal his secret, “knew she was up to something. He suspected it.”

“What does she know?” Johna asked.

“I have no idea. She didn’t share it with me before she left and it wasn’t in me to argue with her anymore than I did.”

Johna looked around the room.

“She took all of her stuff, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said.

“Good,” Johna said. “Don’t want her coming back here looking for anything. I knew that girl was trouble the moment I saw you two in the woods. I didn’t read her thoughts, but I knew something was wrong with her.”

“Am I the only one who didn’t see it?” I asked.

“Probably. It’s usually the ones closest to us that we have the hardest time reading.”

I knew that was true. Mark and Johna couldn’t have been closer friends. She was like an aunt to him, but she didn’t know his secret. I wondered if she even suspected anything.

“I’ll need to keep training you,” Johna said. “And I need to come up with an excuse as to why my niece left so quickly. Unfortunately I can’t replace you with her. It would be too suspicious so you’ll have to remain hidden. Plus, your eyes would give you away in a heartbeat.”

I nodded, not caring whether or not I ever saw another person again. My only friend, in many ways a sister in my heart, had left me in anger. My heart was breaking. My chest hurt as the tears I so desperately wanted to cry broke from my eyes pouring down my face like a rainstorm.

“I feel like part of me is dying,” I whispered.

“Thanks, child,” Johna said, rubbing her hands together. “Yes, a death in the family. It’s perfect.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” I said, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

“I know, but you helped me anyway. You’re like that, you know? You help people without even trying. You’ll perk up eventually. Take some time to yourself.”

Johna smiled as she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, leaving me alone.

Chapter Eleven

Although Johna didn’t hide her pleasure at Ivy’s absence, she understood I needed to mourn the loss of my best friend. Once the tears began they didn’t stop until I felt I’d never be able to produce another drop of the salty tears that flowed down my cheeks. With my eyes swollen and my lips chapped, I emerged only to eat the soup Johna set on the table.

We didn’t look at each other and ate in silence. Though I might have noticed Johna glancing at me out of the corner of my eye I didn’t have any interest in engaging her. I didn’t want to talk about Ivy. I wasn’t ready.

That evening, after crawling back on the cot, I heard a knock at the door. It was past business hours and Johna rarely had unannounced guests. It meant only one person: Mark. His deep tenor echoed through the house but I couldn’t make out any of his words. Nor did I understand Johna’s voice, but her tone was clear. She asked him to leave, short and to the point. His voice rose, I assumed in protest, but I had no interest in listening at the door like Ivy and I had done in the past. I had little interest in anything but sleep. The door closed and so did my eyes.

I spent the next two days doing nothing more than eating, sleeping, and crying. Johna was gone delivering a baby and tending to the mother. I had no duties and no one to report to.

The third morning, I awoke as Johna tiptoed out of her bed. My mind felt clearer, the pain only a dull throb in my head and my heart. Ivy was gone. She hated me. How could I go on without her? I waited for my heart to stop beating but the thudding continued regardless reminding me with every thump that I was alive.

Johna peered over at me, her eyes searching mine for a signal. A smile broke from the corner of my cracked lips.

“I won’t bite,” I croaked. It amazed me what days of crying could do to my throat.

“Good! Then get up. I need your help with preparing some herbals for Roc’s new baby.” Johna kicked me lightly with her foot as she shuffled towards the bedroom door. “There will always be sadness, child, but until you’re dead life goes on. Don’t waste it lying in bed.”

“It still hurts.”

“Of course it does. No one said you’d get over it right away. But while you’re of able body you’d better believe you’re going to get up and do some work around here.”

I felt that smile trying to break through again and this time I didn’t hold back. My lips seared with pain as they cracked in new places.

“Ow,” I squeaked.

“Only one cure for that,” Johna muttered waiting for me to get up.

“What’s that?”

“Water, rest, and no salt.”

I laughed again, grateful we had little salted pork in the pantry. My tongue, feeling thick and sensitive, flicked out of my mouth.

“And don’t you dare lick those lips,” Johna scolded. “You’ll make it worse. Now get up and get to work.”

Following her advice, I reentered the world of the living.

The next month passed quickly. My days were filled studying herbology and there was always something new to learn. I couldn’t even imagine whether or not Ivy was making any money as an herbologist. She only knew the very basics, but depending on where she settled, maybe that’s all she needed.

I wondered if she was successful. Happy? Miserable? My agony at her absence slowly mellowed into sadness and then into content. After a week I gave up on her return. After three weeks I gave up on receiving a letter. By the fourth week I convinced myself I would never hear from her again.