The Song Remains the Same (6 page)

“What? Flipper couldn’t handle me, so he foisted me onto you?” she sneered, dropping her flat, tiny ass on the stool behind the kit we’d set up for her use.

“Pretty much,” I replied, getting behind my bigger, sturdier kit. I took off my boots and socks, wanting to feel the pedals for the bass drums. “He’s sick of your mouth and shitty attitude.”

Her jaw dropped. “
Shitty attitude
?”

“Yep. Word to the wise, Koko Loco, don’t fuckin’ piss off the people who want to give you a shot at your dream. Flipper is one of the greatest drummers in the history of ever, and compared to his genius, you’re just a pissant. He took the time to lay it down for you, and you fuckin’ acted like a spoiled little shit. Now, you have to work with me, and I haven’t been in a very good mood lately.”

Flipper had told her what was needed to make the solo credible. I went into it, wailing on my kit, doing everything perfect, just like Flipper had wanted from her. He never expected her to take it to his level. He’d expected her to live up to her own. He had known she could raise the bar on it and make something mediocre into something fantastic.

When I finished the twenty-six seconds it had taken to complete the solo, she had a stunned look on her face.

“Wow.”

“Really? ’Cause I thought it was pretty basic.”

Good.
Now, she was insulted.

“Your turn,” I said, smiling all sweet for her.

Chicks dug the dimples.

Kenna

Since the bombing, I hadn’t left the house much, mostly because people would stare at my freakish eyeball. Besides the memorial service, I’d ventured to the organic grocers with Sheri, and my face had made a little kid cry. No point in bothering after that. It would be best for the last speck of my ego if small children didn’t burst into tears at the sight of my busted face.

Sushi with my friends had been nice, but it had been hard, trying to keep up with conversations. I’d strained to read lips and felt bad that I could only get the gist of half of what they were talking about, if that. They had put in a lot of effort though, and that hadn’t gone unappreciated.

Feeling sorry for myself wasn’t helping. I wanted to be thankful that I was alive and healthy enough to have healed as quickly as I had. I wanted to be grateful that my friends were all happy and in love and having awesome sex with their boyfriends. I wished I could see all the good that had continued despite my entire world falling down around me.

One day, I knew I would. I would see it even if I could no longer hear it.

I was jealous of Gavin regaining his hearing. I was depressed that Phil couldn’t stand to be with me for more than a few hours in the middle of the night. It wasn’t like I pranced around naked, trying to entice him or anything.

Sitting me down, Phil had written down all the reasons why he was insisting that we abstain. He was scared of any underlying damage that we didn’t know about, of hurting me with all my bruises and aches. He’d assured me that he loved me though.

I’d gotten it. I really had.

Ceasing all sexual advances, I’d relinquished my right to touch him, kiss him, hold him, and have all those things in return. It had been
hell
.

Even after I’d promised to be good and keep my hands to myself, he’d stopped spending time with me, deciding to spend long hours at the studio.

Throughout the day, Phil would send me texts, asking if I was feeling okay, telling me he loved me. But…it felt forced, like he was only doing it because he had to. I might’ve been reading into that too much, but I had been spending a lot of time in my head with no distractions, and I’d found myself analyzing things that I never really would’ve given a second thought to when I was normal.

Normal.

Lili had Alys drop her off at Lewis’s place after dinner, and Alys and Sheri went back to the Plantation House. They wanted me to stay and hang out with them, but I told them I needed to rest. I had my checkup and CT scan tomorrow.

I hadn’t mentioned Phil all night, and neither had they. Pity was a bitter pill to swallow.

Fighting tears, I found Connor waiting for me on the back porch. I attempted a smile, but I was afraid I looked like I was trying to hold in a fart.

He smiled back anyway and waved a joint at me.

“Yeah.” Sighing, I sat down in my usual seat.

He sparked it up and passed it to me. Then, he wrote something down on a notepad.

Phil’s still at the studio. He’s working with Koko on her drum solo. She pissed off Flipper.

“Okay,” I replied.

I was thinking we could take a ride over there. He’s fucking awesome on the drums. We could go watch. You could feel the beats even if you can’t hear them.

That made me smile. I’d never seen Phil on drums. I knew that he really liked to play them.

“I’d like that,” I told my brother.

He misses his Baby Girl. He told me today that, if your scan showed anything wrong, you two would figure out something that didn’t involve him avoiding you. He’s not doing it to hurt you. He’s scared, and I think he’s only starting to come to grips with how close he came to losing you.

“Yeah.”

He also said that he’d never fuck around on you. I think he’d castrate himself before he had to sleep with another woman. Just saying.

“Oh, good. Because I’d castrate him if he did.”

Connor cracked up, and seeing that made me crack up, too.

I read his lips as he said, “Come on.”

Phil

For the first time in a long time, I felt good. I was having a fuckin’ blast on my kit, and I had to admit that Koko wasn’t so bad. After a while, we started freestyling off each other, and I was impressed with her all over again.

A couple of hours into it, I got up and grabbed some bottles of water. Sweating up a storm, I took off my shirt and dried my face with it. I had more in my office, so I wouldn’t have to put the gross one on when we were done.

“Again,” I told her. I dug in my cargoes for my cigarette case that held my weed. Fishing out a spliff—
there it goes again—
I sparked it up and copped a squat on a bench to watch her go for round sixty-three of her solo.

After listening to her play it, I heard what her problem was. She wasn’t confident with the speed at one crucial point, and Flipper—who was the walking, talking Mexican Captain Confident—had no sympathy for those without. He’d lost his patience with her because he hadn’t realized that she didn’t think she could do it. She could now, and for the fourth time running, she’d nailed the fuck out of it.

“I think that’ll do for today,” I told her. “Come have a smoke, and we’ll get the fuck outta here.”

Koko was a tiny little thing, not much taller than Pygmy and a
lot
less curvy. She looked like a thirteen-year-old dude from the back although she didn’t have that problem in the front. Her boobs bounced right along with her as she bounded over to me in her excitement.

“I can’t believe I finally did it!” she crowed, her face all smiles.

She plopped down next to me, and I passed her the joint.

“You just need to own that shit, girl. Ain’t nothin’ to it.”

“You’re really great, Phil. I mean, you’re a hard ass, but you’re a lot nicer than Flipper.”

“Yeah, well, he was desperate to shag his cousin. He gets twitchy if he goes without for too long.”

“Oh, yeah?” She blew out her cloud and propped her feet up on the edge of the bench. “What about you?”

I shrugged. “What about me?”

“I heard you and Baby Girl are on the outs.”

Fury sparked behind Kenna’s tattoo. “Who the fuck told you that?”

She shrugged her dainty shoulders. “Everyone’s been talking about it.”

“
Everyone…
” My inferno flared up. Dropping the roach on the floor, I used my boot to grind it out. “Fuckin’
bullshit.
”

I was trying to wrap my head around this little piece of garbage as I leaned back against the bench when Koko decided it would be a good idea to hop on my lap.

Wrapping her little arms around my neck, she straddled my waist. “I’m down to be your little something on the side, if all you need is a bit of—”

Freezing like a deer in headlights, I gasped, “What?”

“You’ve always been my favorite, Phil. All my friends thought Jason was the hot one, but I
always
wanted you. Tall, dark, and
so
fuckin’ handsome.”

Then, she fuckin’ smashed her face on mine. Her mouth mushed against my mouth, and I grabbed her waist to push her off me. But she took it as a sign of something else entirely and ground down on me.

My dick couldn’t be bothered. If anything, that motherfucker shriveled up and tried to invert itself. I opened my mouth to yell at her to get off my junk, but she shoved her tongue down my throat.

She tasted so, so, so
wrong
. Foreign and just…
not Kenna
.

Standing up, I dumped her assless self on the concrete floor, spitting the taste of her on the ground by her foot, and I wiped my mouth. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Koko?”

“I…I thought…” Her face turned red.

She fuckin’ damn well should be embarrassed.

“I thought we were having a good time—”

“We were! As fuckin’ professionals workin’ together. You…you just fuckin’ contaminated my ass!”

“Wh-what?” she shrieked. “
Contaminated
?”

“Yeah! Fuckin’
contaminated
!” I roared at her.

I was so fuckin’ pissed that I was seeing red. The taste of her coated my mouth, and it was so disgusting to me that I had to spit again.

Pointing at my chest, to Kenna’s tattoo, I snapped, “You see this? It doesn’t fuckin’ read Koko, does it?”

“N-no—”

“
N-no?
What the
fuck
, man?”

“I ju-just thought…”

She was terrified, and she fuckin’ should be.

Right then, I hated that little shit and everything about her—the obscene amount of makeup caking her face, her fuckin’ pink shirt and matching Chucks, her squeaky-ass voice that bitched and whined constantly.

“You thought
what
exactly?” I snarled. “You thought that since my Baby Girl is in no condition to fuck my ass, I’d just stick it in the first thing that offered itself up? Kenna is my whole fuckin’
life
! What? You think because she is in pain and can’t handle a decent fuck that I’d just up and find somethin’ to have on the side?”

“Pain?”

My eyes crossed. I was that mad. “
Fuck you
, you crazy bitch. What kind of person tries to get a man to cheat on the love of his life? What sort of person do you think
I
am? And who the fuck do you think
you
are?” I sneered. “It’s women like you, Koko, who ruin it for all the wonderful, decent ones out there. You ain’t nothin’ but cheap groupie shit, and I’m sick of your ass bein’ here. Now, get your shit, and get the fuck out. I’m closin’ down the studio, and I’ll have Flipper let you know if I decide to let your flat ass back in.”

Koko scrambled to her feet, tears pouring down her face, streaking her freaky black eyeliner. “I’m sorry. I didn’t kn-know—”

“Just fuck off,” I snapped. I turned to grab my shirt off the bench when I saw them.

Connor…and
Kenna
.

By the looks on their faces, they had seen the whole fuckin’ thing.

“Fuck!” I screamed.

Whipping around, I threw the damp, wadded up shirt across the jam-out area. Then, I grabbed a water bottle and chucked it, too, right into Koko’s drum kit. Koko screamed and crouched down into a ball, covering her head with her arms.

Shaking so hard, I was ready to beat something half to death.

That fuckin’ skanky shit shoved her nasty tongue in my mouth, polluting me for my Baby Girl—

“Phil?” Kenna’s voice instantly cooled the raging fire in me, her hand pressing gently between my shoulder blades.