The Sordid Promise (19 page)

As I came down, I looked around the office. From my upside down view, reality crashed into my euphoria. “Why did you make me do this here?”

He placed his palms on my back and directed my body to sit up. “What’s the difference between her office and her home? I didn’t plan for this to happen, you crashed the party, remember?”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He sighed, smoothing the fine hair along the side of my hairline with the back of his hand. He gently kissed the slow forming bump on my forehead. “Don’t ever do this again, Nikki.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The medication usually levels me out. I don’t know what you put me on—“

“It was just something less. You don’t need medication to do what you can do on your own. You can control your reactions.”

“No.” I shook my head vehemently. “You can.”

He grinned. “What am I going to do with you, my twisted angel?”

Forgetting my trepidation, I slowly smiled. “Never stop what you’re doing to me.”

“You’re driving me fucking mad, you know that?” He touched his forehead to mine with a bright smile.

“Welcome to what my brain would be like without the numbing effects of prescription meds.”

Perfect timing—a blocked call while in the middle of walking Maisha. “If you’re going to keep this up, then we need to talk. Meet me somewhere.”

“N-Nikki? Did I do something wrong?”

“Melonie?” I sighed. “I thought you were someone else.”

“Hey, are you busy? I’d like to invite you to my loft to have a look at some of my work.”

“I wouldn’t. I would say I want to look at your work, but I won’t. I’m not good at posturing. I tried. It felt wrong. It’s pointless. I just…don’t want to get involved with any of Eric’s friends.”

“I honestly just want to share some things with you, and maybe…sell you on my pieces. I asked Eric if it was okay. He said you’d enjoy what I had to show you.”

I contemplated the trees as I thought about it. “Give me an hour.”

“Great,” she said excitedly. “I’m at the Arts Center, but I’ll be at my loft to meet you in about an hour. I’ll text the address to you.”

“I can’t figure out if these are drawings or photographs,” I said of Melonie’s work scattered amongst her downtown loft and separated by theme. Still life. The city. People in despair. Sex. “You’re really good.” The secluded collection on the floor drew my eye. “I know that groin.” I flipped though the cardboard backed photograph to view the one behind it. “I know that back.”

She sheepishly smiled. “I’m glad you do. I have a few loose portraits that he refuses to let me show.”

“Do you still have those?”

“In the back.”

I followed her trail to the back of the large room. “Seems most men have a type. Estelle and Tamala seem like carbon copies of each other. Does he just have an ability to make women go crazy? I’m wondering if it has anything to do with the way he has sex. I can’t explain it. Did you refrain from fucking him?”

She tripped on her own feet as we entered the small dark room. “That’s a pretty forward assumption, and an even more forward question. I’m not bisexual, Nikki. Eric and I’s relationship is purely plutonic.” She threw on a smile and waved me off.

“He’s that guy. The guy who sleeps with all of his female friends, right? I don’t even know how to explain his brand of sex. Rough. Vicious. Is that why he and Tamala broke up?”

“I’m not sure, Nikki. I try to stay out of that part of his life. I tried to involve myself once and lived to regret it.” She pointed to a particular spot on her large metal shelving unit. “Here. Here are the others I wanted to show you.” She reached up to take down a large poster sized flat box from one of the shelves. “A little help here,” she strained.

I walked over to her and helped her bring down the box. Working together, we placed it on the large table in the center of the small room. She searched through a few poster sized photos affixed to tack board and pulled out one. “This one is my favorite. Summer of twenty-eleven. We were at the lake. We rented this cabin. There were six of us. It was the beginning of winter. We dared each other to jump in the lake. He was the only one who took the challenge. I took this shot right after he surfaced.”

I looked at the black and white photo. The photo showed Eric, still in his clothes and soaked from head to toe, with his head tilted to the side. His smile was…so relaxed. The photo looked like something I would come across in a high fashion magazine.

Things were easily missed while in live motion. Things tend to move so erratically, you're unable to focus on the things you’re supposed to pay attention to—the foreground and background served as distractions. My inability to figure out most people increased the difficulty. In the still photograph, I saw something in Eric’s eyes I’d never noticed before. Beyond his intimidating glare, there was a perceptible, broken sadness.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that something happened to him in his past…something horrible. Maybe I was overthinking it, but I recognized that look. I’d never met any other person who had it. I knew the look well, because it’s the one that stared back at me every time I looked in the mirror. Knowing what happened in my past and how it steered me, I knew some semblance of a tragedy happened to him.

Wasn’t sure why I bothered peeling back the onion when none of it should’ve mattered. Finding out more information on Eric would just add sludge to a situation that was currently a sparkling, slightly clean mess.
Who am I kidding?
Increasingly, the dirt in Eric’s world seeped inside my brain in the slightest little ways.

“What’s really going on between him and Estelle?” I asked, immediately deeming myself as a hypocrite. I wanted to know, yet I didn’t want to know. My mind could go wild with fantastical thoughts—I didn’t want what happened in my mother’s office to happen again. I didn't want him to think I distrusted him, when it seemed he trusted me wholeheartedly.

She shook her head. “It’s very complicated. Not my place to tell.”

“I thought loyalty amongst friends was dead. You’re okay with me, Melonie. But you’d be even better, if you helped to prevent the unnecessary from seeping into my life. Things I…would rather avoid.”

“What exactly do you want to know?”

“Did he go to med school?”

“And graduated.”

“He just never took the boards?”

“Of course he did. I’m not sure what things you've heard, Nikki, but Eric is definitely Dr. Brenton.”

“What about his uncle? Was he good to him? Were his parents good to him? Something happened there. Something in his childhood. What was it? What happened to his parents?”

Her eyes wandered before turning sullen. “I like you. You’re kind of awkward and weird, like my little brother. But, my loyalty is with Eric. If he wanted you to know, he would tell you. That’s all I can say. I, like you, want to keep my life simple. I’m sorry. I know you want to guard your heart, and I wish I could tell you something comforting. He can make a woman think he’s in love with her, when he’s not. He’s never been in love, and I’m not sure if he can be. His ways…tend to leave a trail of women who find it hard to let go.” After contemplating my worried expression, she added, “I can’t speak for what he feels for you.”

“You just told me he’s going to murder my heart if I give it to him.”

“That’s not what I meant. Nikki, I don’t know the nature of the relationship between you two, and I shouldn’t. I’m just an outsider when it all comes down to it. What goes on between you two is private. I hope that, with that said, we can be friends. I think you could use one.”

I looked back at the photograph of Eric. “He’s beautiful, too beautiful to not be slightly fucked up. How much?”

“Since I’m technically not supposed to sell it….free. I’ll have it professionally framed and shipped to you.”

Angie went on her third hour of stressing her aggravation with the media. She deplored the media’s portrayal of the countries in Africa. She wished they would show the industrialized and peaceful side. She talked about her journey to Nairobi and the beauty of Lagos.

Never once did she ask about my mother.

The opportunity should’ve been used to call her out on her misdeeds, but my mind was elsewhere. I was fully sucked in without a way out. I didn’t want to see a way out. I was sinking deeper inside a situation I avoided nearly all my life.

The door latched, and I felt like whatever was in my chest turned to a temperature below freezing.

Eric stopped short when he saw Angie. The scowl he greeted Angie with appeared to intimidate her. “Hi. I’m Angie. Nikki’s aunt. We didn’t get a chance to formally meet at the repass.” Angie gave him an uneasy grin and offered her hand

“I know who you are,” he said with an unfriendly firmness. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Eric!” I shrilled, but stilled in uncertainty.

“She doesn’t belong in this house,” Eric scorned my vain attempt to defend my aunt. “She doesn’t belong anywhere near you.”

“I just came to see about my niece.”

“Like fucking hell you did.” He lowered his lids at her. “You came here with your mouth open and your hand out. That money belongs to her. You won’t get a single cent.”

“I was all fit to vet you, but I guess it’s not a good time. Guess my reputation precedes me. I hope you’ll give me a chance over whatever Nicole told you. Suppose, I’ll turn in for the night.” She headed upstairs with Maisha following behind her.

“I get that…whatever my mother told you made you feel a certain way about her. Still, you just met her. If anyone should be a bitch to her, I should have that honor.”

“What are you doing, Nik?” he asked through palpable exhaustion.

I shrugged and shook my head. “I-I don’t know. She’ll be gone in the morning.”

He came over to give me a kiss, but I turned my head. It was an involuntary action, and I couldn’t decipher why I did it. The look he shot at me indicated my denial of his affection didn’t sit right with him. He was…livid.

Unable to take much more of his glower, I moved to the range and turned down the level of the gas.

“Try that again,” he stated with austerity. I walked back around the counter. He grabbed me and roughly pulled me into him. “Whatever I want from you,” he whispered as he swayed his lips against mine. “Say it, Nikki.” His hold on me strengthened.

“Whatever you want from me, it’s yours.”

“Don’t ever do that to me again. This body is mine.” He grabbed my waist and pulled in until our lower halves met. “Whenever and however I want it.”

“I know, Eric,” I whispered. “It was a rough day.”

He leaned into my ear. “You’re forgiven.” He bit the lobe of my ear just enough to hurt and released me. Taking a seat at the breakfast bar, he rubbed his weary eyes. “She’ll leave, but she’ll be back,” he remarked coolly. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of all of the things she did to your mother. If you knew, you never would’ve let her step foot inside this house.”

“Was it worse than sleeping with my dad?” I asked.

“Much worse,” he responded without flinching.

“Are you going to tell me what those things are?”

He studied my face as thoroughly as I searched his. Leaning across the counter, he reached his arms out and extended his open palm to me. Without hesitation, I slid my hand in his. He clutched it and brought it to his lips to kiss the back of my hand. The minor act served to further a gentle seduction that chipped at my icy front. “Besides the greedy whore who’s upstairs right now, is everything all right?”