The Sordid Promise (9 page)

Bat for Lashes blasted through my earbuds as Maisha and I hit our stride on the paved trail towards the park. The muggy late August heat broke through on its way to the more temperate September. I grew tired of my clothes sticking to me as I tried to clear my head. I couldn’t wait for the cooler weather. August in western New York left much to be desired.

My thoughts turned to Eric, as they increasingly did too much lately. I hadn’t seen him in a week—next door was strangely quiet during that time. No cars in the driveway. No parties. No onslaught of indoor and outdoor lights illuminating the horizon. Nothing.

In a break after “Siren Song”, I heard someone say—I heard Eric say. “You’re not burning much at this pace.”

I stopped short, pulling out my earbuds with a scowl.

He met me with a grin, dressed in his jogging clothes and baseball cap. He crossed his arms and jokingly mimicked my stance. “The answer is no, you still can’t get rid of me. Today, after we both see your mother, we’re going to watch a political movie guised as a gore fest by a director who got arrested because the gore looked too authentic. Sound like a plan?”

I commenced my walk. He easily fell in step with me. “Where have you been?”

His grin turned up at the corners. “Working,” he said shortly. “This slow pace is driving me nuts. Run this trail.”

“Running to nowhere is idiotic.”

“Should I channel Dr. Brenton, and drop all the facts about how running is excellent for the heart? Increases HDL, decreases heart disease risks—“

“Okay. I get it. You’re a doctor.”

“The bitchy mood is starting to turn me on, Nik,” he sneered.

“Reverse psychology?”

“Nope.” He put his hands down the pockets of his loose fitting fleece pants. “Truth.”

“Does it make you want to shove your cock in my mouth?”

He glanced at me with his eyes dead even. “And many other things,” he remarked in a commanding low voice.

I cast my eyes to the ground. “You had an opportunity.”

“I’m not going to take advantage of you. When it happens, it’s because we both want it, not because we need it to get away from something.”

“When
it happens?”

“Was there ever any doubt that it would? Since you like it when I’m vulgar….” He stepped in front of me, interrupting my brisk pace. “I’m going to fuck you, and it’s going to turn your world on its ass when I do. You will be so strung out over my cock, you’ll ache for it like a junkie.” I didn’t know why, but I smiled. He mimicked my expression and held up something in his hand. “See. Looks like I was right.”

A moon keychain hung from his fingers. It was so…trite, but it made my smile broaden. I slipped it from his fingers as we continued to walk. “Since I don’t have a choice in what we do today, I guess I’ll go along with what you’ve planned.”

“Oh you have a choice. You just don’t get a choice in whether or not I’m coming along.”

“It takes a special kind of weirdo to visit their place of employment on their day off.”

He gave me a tight grin. “Why do you walk if you’re not doing it to burn calories?”

I swatted at the bug that landed on my bare arm. “Why run to nowhere?”

“I can do this all day until it annoys the hell out of you. Answer my question, Nik.”

“To put order to my disordered head,” I offered grudgingly.

“You read as the type of person who has too much going on upstairs.” Incrementally, he picked up his pace, forcing me to follow. While his breath didn’t labor at all, mine began to. “Why are you so scared to leave the house?”

“I-I’m not afraid to leave the h-house,” I remarked through a labored pant. “I-I just don’t like to…socialize. Case…in point.”

“I’ve made you smile at least five times now. Stop bullshitting me. You’re starting to like me. I can see it in your eyes. Mission almost accomplished.”

I stopped walking to catch my breath, forcing him to do the same. “Why me, Eric? You can bother so many other women who are easier.”

He contemplated me with moderate surprise. “Easier? You’re forgetting how readily you spread your legs for me a week ago. If I was
that
guy—the guy you thought I was—I would’ve taken what you offered and ignored you the next day.”

“Why didn’t you?”

His face drew completely devoid of emotion. “I’m a lot of things to a lot of people, Nik. When it comes to you, I’m not
that
guy, and I’m never going to be.”

A text from my mother chimed on my phone. It was time to head back.

“Shower, change, and I’ll meet you back at your house.” He didn’t give me a chance to comment as he jogged up the path towards the community.

I shouldn’t have cared. I figured since I started the trend of looking presentable, I might as well keep it up. A ribbed high-waist jersey pencil skirt, a dark blouse, and a pair of gold spiked flats were my choice. My hair remained down with a middle part and loose curls.

I set Maisha up with a bone and a few toys, leaving the television on, so she wouldn’t feel lonely when I left.

I was met at the front door by Eric, who also cleaned up nicely. “Have to say, though you don’t need the extra, I’m digging the ‘I give a fuck’ look.”

“Shut up,” I dismissed him and quickly brushed past him to hide the smile that his compliment erected.

I heard him mutter something under his breath as I walked past. I'm pretty sure it was a threat to make good on disciplining me for my smart mouth in the very near future.

It felt awkward to be the passenger for a change. Eric wasn’t exactly the safest driver. He tailgated far too much and went a little too far over the speed limit. I couldn’t keep my hand off the interior door handle.

“Fucker,” he muttered as a driver cut him off, nearly causing an accident. Eric glanced over at me with a small smirk. “That death grip you have on the door…” He shook his head. “Living in fear.”

I removed my hand and sunk further into the butter-soft leather seat, but I couldn’t stop fidgeting. His V8 engine roared as he downshifted, easily speeding past a slow line of cars on the highway. I kept my eyes down to my lap, so I couldn’t see the onslaught of traffic that only served to increase my slight anxiety. “Why a doctor?”

“Nice. Actually asking questions to get to know me. See. I knew the alien thing was a front. There is an actual person under that cute, tight little shell.”

“I wish you’d stop doing that. Having a guy compliment my body, doesn’t exactly do for me what you think it does.”

“I know what gets you off, Nik.” His tone had an insidious quality to it.

I rolled my neck, hoping to alleviate the sudden tingle at the base of my skull. “And the answer to my question?”

“People become doctors for one of three things; the money, the god complex, or to help people. You can’t really survive in the field unless it’s one of those reasons.”

“Sometimes people do things for another’s approval.”

He shot a pointed glance in my direction. “I’m not one of those people.”

“You’re seeking my approval. Isn’t that what all this grand—bordering on stalker—behavior is about?”

“You don’t understand people at all. You’re trying to put labels and boxes on everything, like people are logical. Most of us are illogical…including you.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t hang around a lot of people, because I can’t be bothered with the illogical.”

“More to the fact, you isolate yourself because of fear. Scared someone might hurt you or betray you. You’re missing out on a lot of good times. I bet all the times I’ve made you smile could be counted as the most you’ve smiled in years.”

As I took a moment to reflect and acknowledge that he was right, another small smile crept from my lips.

“See, hanging around someone other than yourself can be a good thing.”

Janet couldn’t have carried a bigger grin on her face than she did when she saw Eric and me together. She was wearing a ridiculous pair of brightly hued smiling dog scrubs. “She’s having a better day today. I think she knew she had a reason to.” She grabbed my arm and tugged me away from Eric. She glanced at him and flung her hand in the air, like it’d caught fire. I grew annoyed when she started to field me with questions about Eric.

I ignored her and went inside my mother’s room with Eric at my side.

Her jaw dropped as she dramatically removed her glasses with a slow grin. “As I still breathe. Should I call the chaplain and the city clerk now? I have them on speed dial. Should I call up to the maternity ward and borrow an infant? Wonderful! I can die happy now.”

Eric looked between my mother and me with confusion.

“Mother,” I groaned.

“You’re glowing, Diouana. Glowing and—” She clasped her heart, shaking her head with another smile. With bright eyes, she took Eric in. “Good morning, young man.”

“Mrs. Givens.” Approaching my mother’s bedside, he bowed his head in close proximity to my mother’s face. As she held his head, they gazed at each other for a few moments of silence. After kissing his forehead, she whispered something inaudible to him that made him nod. When she was done, they slowly grinned at each other, like they’d successfully evaded conviction.

Bewildered, my mouth twisted to inquire about the overly friendly scene.

Eric turned to me with an expression that shut down my pending questions. “Coffee, Nik?”

I nodded.

“Straight black, right?”

“Yes,” I said dreamily, surprised that he knew that.

He winked at me as he departed.

“You’re not walking with slightly knocked knees.” My mother examined me with a slight look of disappointment. “Did he tend to your wilting flower last night?”

“He…turned me down,” I answered without batting an eyelash. I was still sore about the fact that he turned me down at all.

“Smart of him to do so.”

I tossed my eyes to the ceiling and took up space on the edge of her bed. “What was up with the ‘more than we just met’ kiss? I thought he wasn’t your doctor.”

“As long as I’ve been cooped up in the hospital? I’ve gotten to know a few people. It’s a common socializing trait, Diouana. You’ll start to understand it more when that gorgeous young man teaches you to open up.” She grabbed my arm, jiggling it with a smile. “Just look at you. You look like my daughter again. How are things? Did you have your first date? What was it like? Did you canoodle? Second base? It always confuses me. Is it third base or second that includes heavy petting?”

“While it’s never weird for you to talk like this, it’s weird for me to talk about…him….like he’s my boyfriend. I’m barely at the point where I can stand him.”

She smiled with her eyes, creating tiny distinguished wrinkles at the corners. “Keep up your posturing, Diouana, but I saw you smile. The mere fact that you’re not in a tizzy about my calling you by your birth name is very telling.”

“Is it still too late to do that?”

“Very.” She squeezed my hand with a prideful look on her face. “I no longer have to worry about you. You’ll continue to give him a chance, won’t you? He’s just perfect for you.”

“Careful, Mom. You’re starting to sound like you arranged this.”

She kissed the top of my hand, but seemed startled as she looked at the television. “Damn! Did you invest in Tellen Corp?” The corners of her lips turned down in disappointment.

“Unfortunately.”

“I told you it was a bad buy. They stupidly ousted their CEO. Stocks plummeted three dollars a share.” She closed her
Agent & Broker
magazine as she grimaced. With her face contorted in agony, her eyes began to water. She quickly wiped the moisture from her cheeks. “Our visit today might be cut short,” she strained. She let out a hoarse cough as she pushed the pain dispense button. “Have you gotten my dress?”

“C-came in the mail yesterday.” I studied her, concerned by her sudden downturn. My heart sank deeply inside my chest.

“Margot has agreed to do my hair and makeup. I could never trust the funeral parlor’s makeup artist to do it.”

“Only you would contract a celebrity makeup artist to style you for your funeral. What’s the point? Your casket will be closed.”

“It’s for you, Diouana. I want you to remember the beauty your mother was.”

“I remember every day, Mom.”