The Soul Of A Butterfly (13 page)

accepting

CHANGE

A NEW BEGINNING

Change is an inevitable part of life. The seasons change, our feelings change, our appearance will change, and our health will change. Life is easier when we accept these changes and recognize how every moment of our journey is an important part of the growth of our soul
.

I SOMETIMES THOUGHT
that I would like to be a Muslim Billy Graham. But God had a different plan for me.

A few years after I retired from boxing, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. As a man who spent most of my life developing his physical fitness
and
athleticism, this diagnosis was difficult to accept. At first there were times when I could push all thoughts of the disease out of my mind. Later, when the physical symptoms could not be ignored, there were periods of frustration and depression, which I had to fight as vigorously as any opponent I ever faced in the ring. The only way I could deal with this challenge was through my faith.

It was faith that restored my sense of purpose and self-confidence. My faith gave me back my joy and enthusiasm for life. I think maybe my Parkinson’s is God’s way of reminding me of what is important: for example, how we treat each other. It slowed me down and caused me to listen rather than talk. Actually people pay more attention to me now because I don’t talk so much. As with every other challenge in my life, I counted on God to be with me through this as well.

A few years ago a man gave my daughter Hana a copy of an inscription that I had written for him in a book in 1976. When Hana gave the copy to me, I was surprised to read what I had written all those years ago. It read:

People often ask me questions

I cannot very well answer in words.

And it makes me sad to think,

that they cannot understand

the voice of my silence.

IT SEEMS STRANGE
that I have an illness that makes it difficult for me to speak and move the way I want to. Those two activities once came as easily to me as breathing. Now, I have to work hard at speaking so people can understand me. I sometimes have to think about the steps I take.

Some people confuse my limitations with brain damage. Maybe that’s because there are those who have said that I stayed in the ring too long, and that boxing caused these problems. But that’s not true. I would have had Parkinson’s if I had been a baker. There aren’t many boxers that have Parkinson’s, and there are lots of people who have Parkinson’s who’ve never even seen a boxing match, let alone been in one.

Some people speak very loudly when they’re talking to me, some very slowly—or both. I’m not hard of hearing, and my illness has not affected my ability to think and reason. I just move slower and speak softer and less often.

But there’s something that hasn’t changed with time … I’m still pretty!

Fortunately, I still seem to be able to make people happy when I am out in public. In truth, I get a lot of energy and pleasure from being around my fans. Although I’d like to be able to talk the way I used to and have the freedom to move around like I once did, I am comforted by the belief that all of this is part of God’s plan. God doesn’t make mistakes.

remembering

THE SPEED

I MOVED MUCH
quicker in my youth than I do these days, but for all that quickness, I missed a lot. Parkinson’s has taught me to slow down and take smaller steps. I have learned to move at a different pace. And I have come to appreciate both quickness and stillness. Although I hope that there will be a cure for Parkinson’s, my prayers are for people everywhere who are suffering, no matter what the cause.

Every day is different, and some days are better than others, but no matter how challenging the day, I get up and live it. And it is the combination of will and faith that helps me do it.

the power of will

When our bodies are at work, We are servants
.

When our minds are at work, We are ministers
.

But when divine will is at work, We are leaders
.

Sufi Wisdom

FOLLOW

the

LEADER

PEOPLE WHO HAVE
been diagnosed with Parkinson’s approach me from time to time. Some of them even travel to my home to visit with me. They want to communicate their fears and concerns; they look to me for strength and guidance. I don’t have the answers to all of their questions. The truth is some of them are answering a few questions for me. I am also just feeling my way along.

I believe that there is a reason behind all things and not all of our questions will be answered in this life. This awareness and acceptance have given me spiritual serenity and peace.

When I am at home in Michigan, I like to take walks around my farm and observe the beauty of nature. One morning, while I was walking, I came across a trail of ants. As I took a closer look, I noticed that the ants were heading somewhere. They were all traveling in the same direction, following the ant in front of the line. I watched as they came across obstacles. There were rocks in their paths, puddles in their way, and the wind was blowing small branches and leaves around. But the ants continued forward. They went over the rocks and around the puddles. It took them close to an hour to reach their destination, which seemed to be a small tree on the other side of our driveway. Along their journey, I noticed how some of them had trailed off on their own and others had stopped.

But the majority of them were still following the ant at the head of the line. As I watched them, I was reminded of how great God is. There are signs all around us, most of which go unnoticed, but when we do pay attention to the little things, we witness how even the smallest of creatures have challenges and obstacles to overcome, and then our own don’t seem so insurmountable.

We are all so small in the scheme of God’s grand universe. When I am traveling in an airplane, I like to watch the ground as the plane takes off. I notice how the houses and cars become smaller the higher we rise, until everything appears to be the size of the ants. We feel big and important here on the surface of the earth, but every so often, when we get the chance to view the world from a different angle, we can see things as they really are. It is during these times that I am reminded of what is important in life. There
are
thousands of people around the world diagnosed with Parkinson’s and other illnesses every day. I know that a lot of them look up to me for guidance; they count on me to be strong. Knowing this gives me some of the strength I need to keep going. It is one of the reasons I continue traveling, and making appearances around the world. By living my life publicly, I hope to show people who are suffering from illnesses of any kind that they don’t have to hide or be ashamed.

When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson’s, I didn’t know what direction my life would take. I didn’t like the idea of being dependent on medications. For a while, I refused to take my medicine consistently. I even went through a period where I wouldn’t do television interviews, mainly because I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me, and I didn’t want to let my fans down. My shaking and soft speech were harder for me to accept in the beginning. After a while, I began to realize that how I handled my illness had an effect on other people suffering from Parkinson’s and other illnesses. Knowing that they counted on me gave me strength. And I realized again that I need people as much as they need me. I am as much at peace as I have ever been and I don’t feel sorry for myself, so I don’t want anyone else to feel sorry for me. What ever the future holds, I will come out on top.

I am like that little ant in the front of the line; a lot of other ants depend on me, and they follow me. Likewise I depend on God to give me guidance so I will know where to go.

When Ali first met him
,

Parkinson’s was grinning
.

But Ali wouldn’t go down easily
.

Now Parkinson’s is scared
,

But it can’t run
,

And it can’t hide

From this determined man

Asserting his hope and pride
.

Dr. Abe Lieberman