The Stage (Phoenix Rising #1) (12 page)

“Is that why you want me to call you that?”

“I—I think so,” he admits, scratching his chin. Do I remind him of the only person he remembers loving? Is that why he’s so intense about me? I remind him of his mother?

“Kole,” I whisper, trying to reach that deep-down part of him that needs to hear his name. That needs to remember what it felt like to be loved. I feel him shiver as I push my stomach up against his knees.

“Mia, if you don’t move back to your seat—”

“What, Kole? What will happen?” And when I call him that again his eyes shut and his legs tense as I push up against them with my stomach. He opens his legs, his hand, coming up from his thigh, moves to my lower back. His eyes lock with mine as I slide in up to his chest. It’s so intimate, the way he’s touching me, and he smells so good.
Definitely sandalwood
. I take a slow breath as his other hand moves up to cradle my neck.

“A kiss,” he whispers, pulling me closer. “Just a kiss and then we stop,” he says, his breath warm on my face. I nod ‘yes’ as he bites his lip again, his gaze on my mouth. It feels like slow motion as he moves in, tilting his head to the left.

When his lips meet mine, they feel softer than I’d expected. They’re wet and soft. Needy. They take and take, and I’m struggling to keep up with his pace. His tongue finds mine and the sensation tingles down my spine, all the way to my feet. I want more. I can’t get enough of his lips. His gifted tongue makes me feel like fire is inside me, forcing itself through the pores of my skin. And I know, until this moment, I’ve never truly been kissed. Not like this.

As we suckle each other’s lips, and moan, and lick, his hand moves down and cups me, his fingers moving in from behind to the hallow spot between my thighs. I push into his fingers, trying to find some relief from this physical teasing.

He pulls me up onto his lap, legs spread, knees hitting the back seat, and when his lips find my neck, he nips and sucks—giving me a moment to catch my breath as he flicks his tongue all the way up to behind my ear. Under me, I feel his length filling out, trying to reach me through our clothes. My lips feel swollen and raw as the air inside the car starts to remind me his mouth has just been there.

Possessively, he moves his lips down my chest until he reaches the curve of my cleavage. Then I feel teeth sinking into the soft flesh there and I gasp, shoving both hands in his hair as my head flings backward. One of his hands is kneading and feeding me into his mouth. The other is still pushing against the seam in my jeans, forcing me to rock into his swollen length to ease the building pressure. The sounds I’m making sound foreign to me, primal.

Then, he growls. His hands move up to the collar of my shirt. I feel pressure and hear a loud rip. When I look down, my shirt’s completely open and tattered. My bra is pushed down so the cup is lifting my breast up and out.

Kolton pulls away, pushing me at the same time as if I’m something he doesn’t want anymore. With his long fingers, he gently pulls my bra back up, covering my breast, and then hastily yanks the tattered seams of my shirt together. The look on his face is shock, anger, disgust.

“Kolton?” I ask. “What’s wrong?” He doesn’t answer me; he won’t look at me, his chest moving up and down as if he’s trying to catch his breath. I touch my swollen lips, my eyebrows furrowing together. I move off of his lap and push my back into the corner of the seat, as far away from him as I can get.

Why is he ignoring me? Why is he so disgusted by me? The car stops, and I realize we’re at the Wilshire Thayer. Kolton rolls down the partition glass.

“Can you pull us into the garage?” he asks Devon, unable to mask the emotion in his voice.

“Sure thing,” Devon responds. I didn’t even know there was a parking garage here. As Devon drives through the garage entrance and down under the building, I pull my knees up to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut.

I feel the car stop and then hear Kolton say, “Devon, can you go upstairs and get me a jacket for Mia?”

“Yes,” he answers, as I open my eyes, watching Devon walk toward the elevator door. I’m shaking with adrenaline, breathless, still completely turned on, swollen and achy for him—which makes me seethe.

“I don’t want you getting out of the car with your shirt open like that,” Kolton says, his face stone cold, his knuckles resting on his lips. I don’t respond. I hate him right now. I just want to be as far away from him as I can be. I contemplate just running out of the car, but I’m sure he’d chase me. It’d make it worse for me if we made a scene and someone took a picture or something.

No, he won’t chase me
, I think, but I don’t want anyone to see me like this with my shirt ripped open, so I wait. Kolton adjusts himself in his pants. When I look down, he’s still obviously aroused, but why, then—why push me away? Did I do something wrong? That was the opposite of frigid. That’s what Dean used to say about me. That I was frigid. And this time, I felt all the emotions I’d never felt with Dean. It was real desire, and I’ve never felt like that before. Ever.

“Why did you want to kiss me?” he asks. He seems so genuine, but I hate him so I don’t answer. “Answer me.”

“I don’t know. You were talking, and then—I—” I look down, confused.

“I went too far,” he whispers. “But this is not your fault.”

“You’re right. You went too far—and I want off your team next week.” To this, his eyes shut. I wipe a humiliated-tear from my cheek. The door opens and Devon hands Kolton a leather jacket from his room-sized closet collection.

I reach to take it, but Kolton moves his arm away so I can’t. “Just a minute,” he says, sliding forward and motioning for me to scoot my back away from the inside of the car.

“Please give it to me.” I reach my hand out farther.

“Just—do what I say for once. Then you can get away from me, okay? Lean forward.”

When I do, I feel his warm breath as he wraps the jacket around my shoulders. I take a deep breath. It smells of him; cologne and Kolton. All man. Gently, he coaxes me to put my arms in. It makes my heart ache and by breasts feel heavy with need. He’s so gentle with me, like I’m a porcelain doll with a hairline crack.

He cautiously moves my hair off my face and pulls the length of my hair out of the back of the jacket. I watch his long fingers as he feeds the zipper in, moving it slowly up my front. I’m tingling and aching for him again. “I’ll think about your request,” he says, his voice soft, controlled. “But the team you’re on at the end of next week will be up to me.”

“I’m moving out of your apartment,” I say. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m not staying here under his control anymore.

“What about Riley?” he asks. “Deloris is my employee and she’s going to take care of Riley in my apartment.” He knows I have nothing. I can’t really leave. He knows I need him.

“It’s just a few more weeks until I go back to Sac. What are you going to do then?” His jaw twitches and he glares at me.

“You’ll have to come back. It’s just a few months off. Deloris will be with you.” He’s trying to hide it, but looks worried about it.

“I will never trust you, Kolton. Never,” I say, and watch his face change in front of me. I know that hurts him. “Because you’re an asshole—a controlling asshole,” I say, forcing myself away from the heat of his body. I purposely sever the draw of my soul to his, find the door handle and bolt out. My heels clicking as I run atop the concrete floor of the parking garage. I’m frantically tapping the button for the elevator when I hear him approaching me from behind.

I keep my back to him. When the doors open, I step inside. As the doors are closing behind me, I turn and catch a glimpse of Kolton standing there, helplessly watching me leave. The look on his face is pure conflict, pain, and remorse.

The doors press together, closing him out, and I’m pulled upward. What have we done? I’m drenched in his scent, lips swollen and body singing from his hands all over me. Do I even want to try and understand him when I can barely understand myself? He’ll burn me. Consume me. I know I have to protect myself. But with every interaction, he makes it harder and harder to do.

Visitor

W
hen I walk into the foyer, I smell the remnants of tonight’s dinner, and it makes my stomach rumble. From the front door, I see that Riley’s door is shut. It’s pretty late, so I bet she’s already asleep. I make my way toward the kitchen and find Deloris in the family room, sitting on the couch wearing her house clothes and robe reading a book.

“How’d it go?” She asks, looking up from her pages.

“I’m still on the show,” I say, numbly. “What’s for dinner?”

“Mexican food,” she tells me. “I made you a plate with beans instead of meat. It’s in the microwave.”

I shuffle over and beep the microwave, listening to my food sizzle—kind of like my mood.

“Thank you, Deloris.” My voice cracking as I sit down at the breakfast bar with my hot plate.

“What’s wrong, Mia?” she asks, with genuine concern. “Is the show getting to you?”

“It was a rough night,” I answer, wiping a tear off my cheek.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, putting her book down and pulling out the chair next to mine.

“I think I’m going to be moved off Kolton’s team next week,” I explain after she settles into her chair.

“Is that what you want?”

“There’s some jealousy. I almost got into a fight today backstage.”

“Oh, my goodness! That’s horrible. Do you want to take off your coat?” she coaxes me.

“I can’t,” I say, which turns my previous whine into full-blown sobs.

“Why not?” she asks, putting her arm across my shoulder.

“Kolton—”
sob, sob
, “ripped my—”
sob sob
, “shirt open,” I stutter out.

“He
what
?” she asks, incredulously. “Did he hurt you?” Her posture changes, looking angry and determined.

“No. He—we were kissing. He ripped my shirt, but then he pushed me away.”

“Oh, my,” she says. “Mia, did he force himself on you?”

“No, I got out of my seat. I wanted him to kiss me.”

“Is this why the other people are jealous? Do they know?”

“People are suspicious. They think I’m cheating. But I didn’t want any of this. I mean, I
am
grateful for you and for this place to live so you can help with Riley.”

“Of course, of course. This isn’t your fault, Mia,” she soothes, pulling me into a warm, grandma-type hug. I sink into her as she pats my back. When I do, I know I’ve missed this, being hugged; having someone to talk to about my troubles. “Mia, I think he pushed you away because he cares for you. He was probably shocked at what he’d done and may have been ashamed of himself.”

“You think that’s it?” I ask, wiping my nose on the back of my hand.

“Yes, or he probably would’ve kept going. You two might have gone too far. And, with him being your coach, that would be inappropriate. What he’s done so far, kissing you at all, breaks his contract. It breaks yours, too, right?”

“Yes,” I admit.

“Is it just that he hurt your feelings?”

“He confuses me,” I answer as she walks over to the side table and brings back a tissue for me to blow my nose.

“I’m sure he does. Bringing you to his house, hiring me. He’s very focused on your needs and wants to take care of everything. It would be hard to read his intentions, but you need to focus on yourself, Mia. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to; even if he says he’ll take all of this from you for
not
doing things with him.”

“No, it’s not like that.” At that, her eyebrows rise. “I wanted to,” I affirm. “I’ve never, ever acted like that before with a guy. It’s like—we couldn’t help ourselves.”

“So, maybe it would be better if you weren’t on his team, then,” she offers.

“You’re right. I told him the same thing before I came up here. I just wonder if he’ll—if me and Riley will be on our own. She’s so attached to you. That’s something I hadn’t planned for. That she’d start to love you.”

“Oh, no, honey. You don’t have to worry about losing me. He’s paid me all the way up until the finals in December.”

“He did?”

“Yes, and if he decides he doesn’t want you to stay here anymore, well then, you can stay at my apartment. It’s not as nice, but it’s homey. You and Riley would have to share a room, but, after that, you’ll probably have a whole lot more options, and then we can work out a fee for my services that works with your income.”

“He said that I couldn’t move out. That you were told to take care of Riley
here
.”

“Yes, that’s true, but I’ll do what works best for you. It sounds like he doesn’t want you to go. Just know you have options.” I nod my head and my stomach rumbles. She takes my food back to the microwave and beeps several times. As I listen to the glass plate turn, I think about him touching me. A shiver runs up my spine and I touch my lips. I’ve never felt like that before. Hunger. Need. He wanted me, I know it, and I wanted him.

As she places the newly warmed plate back down in front of me, she gives me a little side hug, and says, “I’m off to bed, now.”