She had saved his life. She had risen from her sick bed to come to
his aid when he had needed her most. Mate had tried to
murder
him, for Heaven's sake. Then were would all the crew have been. At
the mercy of a madman? Or would Perkins have been able to exert his
authority?
All he knew was that by the time they had ever called man overboard
for him, the whole ship would have been put in the utmost danger,
and he would probably have only ended up in a watery grave anyway.
As he lay with Al in his arms, he thought about how they had first
met, she chasing her hat, which the wind had lef straight to him. He
was sure now after what had so nearly been his death that they were
tied to one another in some strange way. Who was he to fight the
will of God in having gifted him with a wonderful friend and
companion such as she?
She rested for a time longer, until her shivering subsided at last,
and then sat up, pushing her curls out of her eyes. It was the most
alert he had seen her look in days.
But she had most likely used the last of her strength getting up
onto the deck to find him and save him. So he reached for her
shoulder and tugged her down gently.
“Come, love, you need to get back into bed and rest.”
She shook her head. “I need to get cleaned up. I feel like I’ve been
wallowing in mud for the past few days.”
"I'm not so sure a bath is a good idea in this weather."
"I feel fine, just all sticky."
Jared sighed and swung his own legs out of the opposite side of the
bed. “All right, if you promise to wait here and rest, I’ll get the
tub organized. There won’t be any hot water, though, with the fires
out. Only what Cook might have left over in the galley.”
She shrugged. “It’s certainly better than nothing.”
He went up to fetch the buckets, while she carefully walked over to
her locker and took out some clean clothes.
She did not relish the conversation that was bound to occur sooner
or later when Jared demanded to know how she could have deceived him
for so long.
But at the moment, he was being kind to her, and she was going to
enjoy it for as long as it lasted. She still felt as though she had
been turned inside out, but she knew the worst of her illness was
past. Now it was her future on this shop that she needed to worry
about.
A future that would have been hell on earth indeed for all of them
if Mate had succeeded in killing Jared. What sort of demon had got
into the man?
She sat down weakly at the thought of what might have happened if
she had not gone onto the deck when she had. She shook her head and
sighed. She felt some sorrow over what she had done to the Mate, but
he had tried to murder his own captain.
It had been a fitting end for that act, let alone what he had done,
killing Tom, and persecuting her week after week until he had nearly
killed her too.
She knew that if he had ever discovered she was a woman, her life
would have been a living hell in a different way. As it was she knew
he had been responsible for Tom’s horrible death. No, she would have
no regrets about what she had done. She only hoped Jared would be
able to forgive her, and understand why she had done it.
Running her fingers through her dirty hair, she could not wait for
Jared to get back with some warm water, and began to fill the tub
from the barrel above on deck. She gathered towels and some of the
nice soap that Jared had provided for them both, and then disrobed.
There was no point in any false modesty any longer--she knew exactly
who had been dressing and undressing her, and he had just stripped
off her wet clothes and given her a blanket only a few minutes
before.
The dim light from the lantern gave her a shadowy view of the tub,
and she got in, heedless of the chill water. It just felt good to be
naked, free of strapping, and not having to worry about her identity
any longer.
She had almost always been able to be herself with Jared; the only
thing that she had held back was the truth about her gender. Now she
could tell him everything, share her true self.
Perhaps even get
him to fall in love with her?
She scrubbed her hair and arms and legs vigorously, the better to
keep her circulation going, and was relieved to see Jared returning
with two buckets of hot water.
“Thank goodness. This is freezing,” she admitted through chattering
teeth.
“I’m sorry it took so long. I needed to find the buckets, and I just
wanted to check with Mr. Perkins that everything was all right, and
to report that Mate was lost at sea.”
“We should have at least shouted man over board,” she said quietly,
as the full enormity of what she had done sank in.
He smiled sheepishly. “I did, just now. You're right, of course. We
should have done it at the time. But I was so shocked by what he had
tried to do, and getting back over the rail to safety, it never
entered my head.
"Then you were about to collapse, Cook came running to find you, and
by then, well, all of our attention was on your safety. So I called
man overboard now, and we all looked over the side for a time with
the telescope.
"After a while, we all agreed that he was gone, and nothing could be
done to recover him without risking the entire ship and its crew,
and that would never do.
"So I'll note down that he was lost at sea in a gale, and that will
be the end of it. We can let him keep his rank and that will mean a
better pension for any surviving family. He's dead and gone now. So
there's no sense in disgracing him into the bargain, now is there,
by saying he tried to kill me and fell overboard himself.”
“No, I don't suppose there is. Why did he do it, though?" she
wondered, shaking her head.
"Ah, yes, you were still sleeping. I had removed him from his rank
about an hour before due to his cruelty to you, and had broken him
down to an ordinary crewman."
"So that's what you meant about not putting down anything else in
the log, and letting him keep his rank for the sake of his family."
Jared nodded.
"You don’t blame me, then?” she asked quietly.
He came over to rest his hand on her shoulder. “No, Al, not one bit.
He would have killed me for certain if you hadn’t come to save me.”
He laughed shortly. “And to think he hated us because he thought we
had an unnatural attachment to one another.”
She sighed. “Just as well he didn’t know I was a woman. I would have
been in real trouble if he had.”
Jared patted her shoulder again, but this time it was more like a
caress. “I have to confess, I wondered a bit myself. I mean, I was
so fond of you, enjoyed being with you so much. I tried to tell
myself it was a fatherly feeling. Now that I know the truth, it
makes a lot more sense. As Cook said to me, I'm surprised I didn’t
figure it out before.”
“Listen, Captain. Jared. About my disguise-”
He placed one finger on her lips. “I understand why you did it. I
was angry at first when I found out, of course. Once Cook explained
things to me, I was fine. I'm just so relieved you're all right,
that I can't even be bothered being angry or cherishing feelings of
wounded pride. None of that matters compared to your safety, Al.
Almira," he said, with a small smile which she answered with one of
her own.
"Thank you."
"But it won't all be plain sailing, my lad, er, lass. We’ll need to
decide what to do for the best for you given your family situation.
But that conversation can wait until you’re feeling stronger, and
we’ve safely rounded the Horn.”
She took his hand. “Thank you. I don’t deserve you. I know that.”
“Nonsense. You deserve better than me, better than this whaler.”
“I’m happy here," she protested sincerely. "You have to believe
that. Now that Mate is gone, there is little I can possibly have to
complain about.”
“I’m glad to hear it. But you know full well a whaler is no place
for a woman.”
“And you know that Dare’s wife Samantha did the same as myself,
worked on the ship as part of the crew,” she fired back.
“Ah, yes, but they were married. We are not. I have taken some steps
to address our predicatment, however."
"Oh?" she said, suddenly feeling self-consciously naked in front of
him in the tub.
"I have asked Chip to make a new cabin for me, so that you may have
this chamber to yourself. He will be building a partition to make
this a private bathroom that we can each take it in turns to share.
I know you've been ill, and circumstances have dictated a certain
amount of, er, intimacy in recent days. And even now—"
He rose as if to leave, but she protested, "No, there's no need to
leave. I understand. And this is the body God gave me, after all.
Who am I to question his wisdom."
"Still, I’m sorry for everything I might have said or done to shock
you-”
“No, please don’t think that way. You’ve done nothing to be ashamed
or embarrassed about, Captain. You’re forgetting, I'm not your usual
society damsel. I grew up on a ship. There is nothing that has
disturbed my peace of mind on this trip, believe me. You and Cook
have been most solicitous of my well-being, and I could never think
ill of you.”
“I just wish he hadn’t encouraged you to go on the grog and
tobacco,” he said with a grimace.
She giggled. “It was to put the Mate off the scent. I wasn't truly
partaking. But now that he’s gone….”
“You will cease and desist immediately, and if I catch you swearing
a blue streak again, I shall wash your mouth out with soap.”
She grinned up at him.
“On second thoughts, I might have something better for you to do
with your mouth.”
He leaned over and kissed her, tentatively at first, but more warmly
as she responded in kind.
He eventually mustered all of his willpower and pushed away from the
tub and went over to the trunk. He fetched out some pillows and
clean bedding, and propelled himself into the main cabin to make up
his new bed while she soaked. No more taking advantage, he reminded
himself with a sigh.
Then, when he felt he could trust himself to touch her again, he
returned to the tub and offered to help scrub her back and hair. His
warm hard hands flowed over her shoulders and neck, causing her to
shiver with desire. Her nipples hardened, and she was glad she had
drawn up her knees to her chest so that he could not see her ardent
response to his ministrations.
But as his hands became more and more slippery, he stroked down her
sides, lightly pressing against her breasts. She held her breath as
the most incredible sensations coursed through her, and then his
hand moved down further, toward her abdomen and hips, before moving
back up again. She felt like a cat being stroked and petted, and she
was most certainly more than ready to purr.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “I shouldn’t have dared.”
“I don’t mind,” she whispered, feeling as though she were floating
on the brink of the most tempestuous storm….
“But I do, Al. Almira. You are under my care and protection. I
should not be taking liberties like this."
"It doesn't feel like a liberty, Jared. It feels perfect."
He felt a torrential heat flood his loins, but forced himself to
shake his head. "It is completely inappropriate and an abuse of my
position as your captain, and you as an ill woman. Now, soak a bit
longer, and I’ll help you dress.”
“If you want to go to sleep, you have only to say. I shall be fine.”
“No, I’m seeing you safely to bed.”
She nodded, and rinsed her hair, then rose from the tub and reached
for a towel. He tried to avert his eyes, but he watched in
fascination as she dried herself. No wanton could have inflamed him
more; every move bespoke an incredible sensuality such as he had
never seen before.
He shook his head. He had to be losing his mind. She was his ward,
for want of a better term, until he found her father or brother.
“So, how old are you really? Surely not fifteen?” he asked as he
waited patiently.
“No, nineteen, actually. That’s the only other thing I lied about
apart from my gender.”
He heaved a sigh of relief. At least he would not be adding taking
advantage of a child to his list of sins. Not that he was going to….
He held out her shirt for her, and she put her arms into it, finally
covering her magnificent body. When he offered her trousers,
however, she shook her head.
“I’m going back to bed. I won’t need them for now.”