THE STONE COLD TRUTH (28 page)

When I got more and more involved in the top mix, which is the top four guys or so, I was the new guy. Vince usually gravitates toward
the number one guy. For a long time it was Bret Hart, then Shawn Michaels, then Undertaker and then it was me.

Then I got injured and it was The Rock. Then The Rock left, so it was Triple H. Before all of us, it was Hulk Hogan, and that’s kind of the way it goes. Vince trusts those people because they are “in the spot.” So he’s going to listen to them, and of course they’re going to listen to Vince.

Vince is still the boss, but if I have a good idea, he’ll hear me out. He’s always been open to listening to me. And the fact is, he’s always open to listen to anybody. As smart as he is, he knows that you can always learn something from somebody else. Even if it’s a damn idiot talking, he might say something you can put to good use.

Vince will do anything for his product. He’s put himself on the line in the ring against me many times. I think he always wanted to be a wrestler, but I don’t think his dad, the successful wrestling promoter Vincent J. McMahon, wanted him to be a wrestler. So that was that. Vince couldn’t be a wrestler. His dad flat out wouldn’t allow it.

Now, Vince can do anything he wants. When the situation calls for it or the card needs something, Vince can throw himself in there and have a damn entertaining match.

Like that Cage match main event Vince and I had at St Valentine’s Day Massacre on February 14, 1999, where he took that big bump off the cage onto the announcer’s table.

He didn’t have to take that bump. We didn’t need that bump. But he did it to make the match special and get Stone Cold over more with the fans.

Vince had a bad neck on top of it and his head went down hard. I wouldn’t have taken that bump. And there probably aren’t too many guys on the crew who would have done that bump either. I know Mick Foley would have, Shane McMahon would have … but other than that, I mean, come on!

Vince is a multi-multimillionaire and he doesn’t have to do a damn thing other than use his pencil and his brain, but that guy is unbelievable. I think he still feeds off the adrenaline. I think he’s still got a wild hair. He likes to go out there and get into it.

You see what kind of shape he’s in. He’s in his fifties now and I’m thirty-eight. He’s in twice the shape I’m in, so you can do the math on that deal. Probably the funniest thing we did was when Vince was in a hospital bed. Vince was lying there with a thermometer in his mouth, bitching and moaning. And Mick Foley and I are in the bathroom, giggling like a couple of kids ’cause we’re listening to Vince and talking about all the stuff we’re going to do to him.

We were laughing so hard, the TV crew had to keep coming in and telling us to be quiet so they could tape Vince. I always had a good time with Mick. Then I went into the room to torture my boss. Vince’s foot was all wrapped up, so that was the first thing I was going after. I pounded on that damn foot and he sold it like crazy! I loved it. It’s just what Stone Cold would do—go right for the weakest part and make the guy scream like a little girl—and Vince squealed like a pig stuck under a gate.

Everyone seems to remember that bedpan shot. Of course, I whacked him pretty hard in the head with it.

The story on the bedpan was that he wanted me to beat him up. We talked about me beating up on his foot, but he wanted to know what was next. So Vince came up with the idea of me hitting him in the head with the bedpan while he was lying there in bed.

I said, “Man, Vince, these things are pretty hard. They’re solid stainless-steel bedpans. I don’t know how to hit you with it and have it not hurt.”

He said, “Hit me with the bedpan. And make it look good.”

So I said, “Okay, if you want me to.”

I spent five or ten minutes on the other side of the room, testing the damn thing on my own head, trying to see where the best acoustic sound spots were versus the best places to receive the blow. I did it out of respect for Vince.

It was going to be one take only, and we needed a hell of a bang.
I wanted it to sound good, but I didn’t want to hurt him. So I tested the damn bedpan over and over again.

Then we did the take and I thought I clocked him pretty good. And he sold it so damn well. Maybe he didn’t have a choice in the matter, but everyone seems to remember that moment. It’s always good for a laugh, no matter how many times you’ve seen it. I can watch it ten times in a row.

I heard that the day after they shot that vignette, one of the writers brought the video to the WWE Publications Department and had everybody watch it. All the guys loved it. But three women in the department said the ending was too violent, with me zapping Vince with the heart paddles, and then ramming that enema gimmick up Vince’s butt.

Of course, the vignette stayed in—unaltered and unedited.

Vince McMahon is the owner of the company, but he’s also “one of the boys.” So what are you gonna do, other than go out and have fun with it?

Vince McMahon is extremely close to being the Mr. McMahon television character, just as I’m extremely close to being the Stone Cold character. They’re both one and the same, they’re just turned down a few notches. But they can be turned up at the flip of a switch.

Vince McMahon’s best traits are his work ethic and his passion for this business. The guy loves making money, but I think he loves the wrestling business even more than that. At this point he’s got so much money, it really doesn’t matter. I think the guy just loves the business. A lot of money just happens to be the by-product of all his hard work and his passion for wrestling.

His leadership abilities and his ability to make decisions are right there. I’ve also seen Vince McMahon with his eyes kind of watered up a few times. I know the guy gives a damn. But I think that’s not a side he likes anyone to really see. I think it’s just something that happens every now and then, because he can be a pretty emotional guy. But again, you just look at the exterior and you see one tough, heartless promoter who will work you to death.

Vince likes to be in control so much that he hates even sneezing, because it’s an uncontrollable reflex. I’ve seen him cuss a blue streak after a healthy sneeze or two. He even gets POed when he yawns.

At one time, the wrestling business was cutthroat and run by ex-wrestlers who still had massive egos to feed. Even though they weren’t the top babyface or the top heel, they were the owner of the territory. They were also the booker. They had all the power, the omnipotent power.

I don’t know if Vince could have gotten to where he is if he wasn’t tough. I think Vince had to show a cold veneer. I don’t think that sumbitch could have shown any weakness or any remorse. Take no prisoners—I’m coming. I’m going to run your territory. I almost think he had to do that to survive in that world.

He showed a good side of himself when he helped me buy that house. I wrote him a check and I remember him asking me, “What do you owe on that house?” It was thirty-five grand, and he said, “Ah, the hell with it. It’s all right.” Not many bosses would have done that. Vince has got a good heart, no doubt about it. But he’s been conditioned not to show it. And the way he grew up, with abusive stepfathers beating the hell out of him—and I mean beating the holy crap out of him—I’m talking about fistfighting, drunken stuff. Abuse. I think he did that to survive.

So I look at him differently than most people do. I’ve been in too many one-on-one meetings with the guy and I’ve seen the sumbitch just break down and cry about things.

J.R. told me that he said to Vince one day, “You’ve got to call Steve and talk to him, because his health situation is eating him up. He needs to hear from you. Vince, I can take it so far, but he needs to hear from you. Steve’s physical problems are much more serious than we thought.”

Of course, Vince didn’t know what all my problems were. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to call. To J.R., he was like, “Oh, okay, I didn’t know.”

J.R. told me that later in the day, Vince called him on the intercom and said, “Can you come in here for a minute?” J.R. went into Vince’s office and Vince’s eyes were red, and he was wiping the tears from his eyes. He said, “I just talked to Steve and he’s really screwed up. Not screwed up in the head, but physically.”

He really cared. That’s what pisses Vince off. He’s so combative,
just out of his instinct to survive, that when somebody implies that he’s evil incarnate and doesn’t care about the boys, I think it eats him right up.

I think if he had fewer inhibitions, he’d be like basketball coach Roy Williams when he went from Kansas to North Carolina. He’d talk about the kids he was leaving in Kansas, and he’d cry like a baby right in front of everyone. It was almost embarrassing. I think if Vince had the opportunity sometimes, he’d break down and cry and say, “Yeah, I’m human.”

But he won’t allow himself to show any weakness—just like Stone Cold won’t. Vince McMahon is a name that millions of our fans world-wide boo and call an asshole, but he’s also a man I greatly respect.