The Stories of Ray Bradbury (23 page)

‘Doug,’ he said, about five in the afternoon, as we were picking up our towels and heading back along the beach near the surf, ‘I want you to promise me something.’

‘What?’

‘Don’t ever be a Rocket Man.’

I stopped.

‘I mean it,’ he said. ‘Because when you’re out there you want to be here, and when you’re here you want to be out there. Don’t start that. Don’t let it get hold of you.’

‘But—’

‘You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think. If I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I go out, and I guess I’ll always go out.’

‘I’ve thought about being a Rocket Man for a long time,’ I said.

He didn’t hear me. ‘I
try
to stay here. Last Saturday when I got home I started trying so damned hard to
stay
here.’

I remembered him in the garden, sweating, and all the traveling and doing and listening, and I knew that he did this to convince himself that the sea and the towns and the land and his family were the only real things and the good things. But I knew where he would be tonight: looking at the jewelry in Orion from our front porch.

‘Promise me you won’t be like me,’ he said.

I hesitated awhile. ‘Okay,’ I said.

He shook my hand. ‘Good boy,’ he said.

The dinner was fine that night. Mom had run about the kitchen with handfuls of cinnamon and dough and pots and pans tinkling, and now a great turkey fumed on the table, with dressing, cranberry sauce, peas, and pumpkin pie.

‘In the middle of August?’ said Dad, amazed.

‘You won’t be here for Thanksgiving.’

‘So I won’t.’

He sniffed it. He lifted each lid from each tureen and let the flavor steam over his sunburned face. He said ‘Ah’ to each. He looked at the room and his hands. He gazed at the pictures on the wall, the chairs, the table, me, and Mom. He cleared his throat. I saw him make up his mind. ‘Lilly?’

‘Yes?’ Mom looked across her table which she had set like a wonderful silver trap, a miraculous gravy pit in which, like a struggling beast of the past caught in a tar pool, her husband might at last be caught and held, gazing out through a jail of wishbones, safe forever. Her eyes sparkled.

‘Lilly,’ said Dad.

Go on, I thought crazily. Say it quick: say you’ll stay home this time, for good, and never go away; say it!

Just then a passing helicopter jarred the room and the windowpane shook with a crystal sound. Dad glanced at the window.

The blue stars of evening were there, and the red planet Mars was rising in the East.

Dad looked at Mars a full minute. Then he put his hand out blindly toward me. ‘May I have some peas,’ he said.

‘Excuse me,’ said Mother. ‘I’m going to get some bread.’

She rushed out into the kitchen.

‘But there’s bread on the table,’ I said.

Dad didn’t look at me as he began his meal.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I came downstairs at one in the morning and the moonlight was like ice on all the housetops, and dew glittered in a snow field on our grass. I stood in the doorway in my pajamas, feeling the warm night wind, and then I knew that Dad was sitting in the mechanical porch swing, gliding gently. I could see his profile tilted back, and he was watching the stars wheel over the sky. His eyes were like gray crystal there, the Moon in each one.

I went out and sat beside him.

We glided awhile in the swing.

At last I said, ‘How many ways are there to die in space?’

‘A million.’

‘Name some.’

‘The meteors hit you. The air goes out of your rocket. Or comets take you along with them. Concussion. Strangulation. Explosion. Centrifugal force. Too much acceleration. Too little. The heat, the cold, the sun, the Moon, the stars, the planets, the asteroids, the planetoids, radiation…’

‘And do they bury you?’

‘They never find you.’

‘Where do you go?’

‘A billion miles away. Traveling graves, they call them. You become a meteor or a planetoid traveling forever through space.’

I said nothing.

‘One thing,’ he said later, ‘it’s quick in space. Death. It’s over like that. You don’t linger. Most of the time you don’t even know it. You’re dead and that’s it.’

We went up to bed.

It was morning.

Standing in the doorway, Dad listened to the yellow canary singing in its golden cage.

‘Well, I’ve decided,’ he said. ‘Next time I come home, I’m home to stay.’

‘Dad!’ I said.

‘Tell your mother that when she gets up,’ he said.

‘You
mean
it!’

He nodded gravely. ‘See you in about three months.’

And there he went off down the street, carrying his uniform in its secret box, whistling and looking at the tall green trees and picking chinaberries off the chinaberry bush as he brushed by, tossing them ahead of him as he walked away into the bright shade of early morning…

I asked Mother about a few things that morning after Father had been gone a number of hours. ‘Dad said that sometimes you don’t act as if you hear or see him,’ I said.

And then she explained everything to me quietly.

‘When he went off into space ten years ago, I said to myself, He’s dead. Or as good as dead. So think of him dead. And when he comes back, three or four times a year, it’s not him at all, it’s only a pleasant little memory or a dream. And if a memory stops or a dream stops, it can’t hurt half as much. So most of the time I think of him dead—’

‘But other times—’

‘Other times I can’t help myself. I bake pies and treat him as if he were alive, and then it hurts. No, it’s better to think he hasn’t been here for ten years and I’ll never see him again. It doesn’t hurt as much.’

‘Didn’t he say next time he’d settle down?’

She shook her head slowly. ‘No, he’s dead. I’m very sure of that.’

‘He’ll come alive again, then,’ I said.

‘Ten years ago,’ said Mother. ‘I thought, What if he dies on Venus? Then we’ll never be able to see Venus again. What if he dies on Mars? We’ll never be able to look at Mars again, all red in the sky, without wanting to go in and lock the door. Or what if he died on Jupiter or Saturn or Neptune? On those nights when those planets were high in the sky, we wouldn’t want to have anything to do with the stars.’

‘I guess not.’ I said.

The message came the next day.

The messenger gave it to me and I read it standing on the porch. The sun was setting. Mom stood in the screen door behind me, watching me fold the message and put it in my pocket.

‘Mom,’ I said.

‘Don’t tell me anything I don’t already know,’ she said.

She didn’t cry.

Well, it wasn’t Mars, and it wasn’t Venus, and it wasn’t Jupiter or Saturn
that killed him. We wouldn’t have to think of him every time Jupiter or Saturn or Mars lit up the evening sky.

This was different.

His ship had fallen into the sun.

And the sun was big and fiery and merciless, and it was always in the sky and you couldn’t get away from it.

So for a long time after my father died my mother slept through the days and wouldn’t go out. We had breakfast at midnight and lunch at three in the morning, and dinner at the cold dim hour of 6 A.M. We went to all-night shows and went to bed at sunrise.

And, for a long while, the only days we ever went out to walk were the days when it was raining and there was no sun.

They walked slowly down the street at about ten in the evening, talking calmly. They were both about thirty-five, both eminently sober.

‘But why so early?’ said Smith.

‘Because,’ said Braling.

‘Your first night out in years and you go home at ten o’clock.’

‘Nerves, I suppose.’

‘What I wonder
is
how you ever managed it. I’ve been trying to get you out for ten years for a quiet drink. And now, on the one night, you insist on turning in early.’

‘Mustn’t crowd my luck,’ said Braling.

‘What did you do, put sleeping powder in your wife’s coffee?’

‘No, that would be unethical. You’ll see soon enough.’

They turned a corner. ‘Honestly, Braling, I hate to say this, but you
have
been patient with her. You may not admit it to me, but marriage has been awful for you, hasn’t it?’

‘I wouldn’t say that.’

‘It’s got around, anyway, here and there, how she got you to marry her. That time back in 1979 when you were going to Rio—’

‘Dear Rio. I never
did
see it after all my plans.’

‘And how she tore her clothes and rumpled her hair and threatened to call the police unless you married her.’

‘She always was nervous, Smith, understand.’

‘It was more than unfair. You didn’t love her. You told her as much, didn’t you?’

‘I recall that I was quite firm on the subject.’

‘But you married her anyhow.’

‘I had my business to think of, as well as my mother and father. A thing like that would have killed them.’

‘And it’s been ten years.’

‘Yes,’ said Braling, his gray eyes steady. ‘But I think perhaps it
might change now. I think what I’ve waited for has come about. Look here.’

He drew forth a long blue ticket.

‘Why, it’s a ticket for Rio on the Thursday rocket!’

‘Yes, I’m finally going to make it.’

‘But how wonderful! You
do
deserve it! But won’t
she
object? Cause trouble?’

Braling smiled nervously. ‘She won’t know I’m gone. I’ll be back in a month and no one the wiser, except you.’

Smith sighed. ‘I wish I were going with you.’

‘Poor Smith,
your
marriage hasn’t exactly been roses, has it?’

‘Not exactly, married to a woman who overdoes it. I mean, after all, when you’ve been married ten years, you don’t expect a woman to sit on your lap for two hours every evening, call you at work twelve times a day and talk baby talk. And it seems to me that in the last month she’s gotten worse. I wonder if perhaps she isn’t a little simple-minded?’

‘Ah, Smith, always the conservative. Well, here’s my house. Now, would you like to know my secret? How I made it out this evening?’

‘Will you really tell?’

‘Look up, there!’ said Braling.

They both stared up through the dark air.

In the window above them, on the second floor, a shade was raised. A man about thirty-five years old, with a touch of gray at either temple, sad gray eyes, and a small thin mustache looked down at them.

‘Why, that’s
you
!’ cried Smith.

‘Sh-h-h, not so loud!’ Braling waved upward. The man in the window gestured significantly and vanished.

‘I must be insane,’ said Smith.

‘Hold on a moment.’

They waited.

The street door of the apartment opened and the tall spare gentleman with the mustache and the grieved eyes came out to meet them.

‘Hello, Braling,’ he said.

‘Hello, Braling,’ said Braling.

They were identical.

Smith stared. ‘Is this your twin brother? I never knew—’

‘No, no,’ said Braling quietly. ‘Bend close. Put your ear to Braling Two’s chest.’

Smith hesitated and then leaned forward to place his head against the uncomplaining ribs.

Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.

‘Oh no! It
can’t
be!’

‘It is.’

‘Let me listen again.’

Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.

Smith staggered back and fluttered his eyelids, appalled. He reached out and touched the warm hands and the cheeks of the thing.

‘Where’d you get him?’

‘Isn’t he excellently fashioned?’

‘Incredible. Where?’

‘Give the man your card, Braling Two.’

Braling Two did a magic trick and produced a white card:

MARIONETTES
,
INC
.

Duplicate self or friends: new humanoid plastic 1990 models, guaranteed against all physical wear. From $7,600 to our $15,000 de luxe model.

‘No,’ said Smith.

‘Yes,’ said Braling.

‘Naturally,’ said Braling Two.

‘How long has this gone on?’

‘I’ve had him for a month. I keep him in the cellar in a toolbox. My wife never goes downstairs, and I have the only lock and key to that box. Tonight I said I wished to take a walk to buy a cigar. I went down cellar and took Braling Two out of his box and sent him back up to sit with my wife while I came on out to see you, Smith.’

‘Wonderful! He even
smells
like you: Bond Street and Melachrinos!’

‘It may be splitting hairs, but I think it highly ethical. After all, what my wife wants most of all is
me
. This marionette
is
me to the hairiest detail. I’ve been home all evening. I shall be home with her for the next month. In the meantime another gentleman will be in Rio after ten years of waiting. When I return from Rio, Braling Two here will go back in his box.’

Smith thought that over a minute or two. ‘Will he walk around without sustenance for a month?’ he finally asked.

‘For six months if necessary. And he’s built to do everything—eat, sleep, perspire—everything, natural as natural is. You’ll take good care of my wife, won’t you, Braling Two?’

‘Your wife is rather nice,’ said Braling Two. ‘I’ve grown rather fond of her.’

Smith was beginning to tremble. ‘How long has Marionettes, Inc., been in business?’

‘Secretly, for two years.’

‘Could I—I mean, is there a possibility—’ Smith took his friend’s elbow earnestly. ‘Can you tell me where I can get one, a robot, a marionette, for myself? You
will
give me the address, won’t you?’

‘Here you are.’

Smith took the card and turned it round and round. ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘You don’t know what this means. Just a little respite. A night or so, once a month even. My wife loves me so much she can’t bear to have me gone an hour. I love her dearly, you know, but remember the old poem: “Love will fly if held too lightly, love will die if held too tightly.” I just want her to relax her grip a little bit.’

‘You’re lucky, at least, that your wife loves you. Hate’s my problem. Not so easy.’

‘Oh, Nettie loves me madly. It will be my task to make her love me comfortably.’

‘Good luck to you, Smith. Do drop around while I’m in Rio. It will seem strange, if you suddenly stop calling by, to my wife. You’re to treat Braling Two, here, just like me.’

‘Right! Good-by. And thank you.’

Smith went smiling down the street. Braling and Braling Two turned and walked into the apartment hall.

On the crosstown bus Smith whistled softly, turning the white card in his fingers:

Clients must be pledged to secrecy, for while an act is pending in Congress to legalize Marionettes, Inc., it is still a felony, if caught, to use one.

‘Well,’ said Smith.

Clients must have a mold made of their body and a color index check of their eyes, lips, hair, skin, etc. Clients must expect to wait for two months until their model is finished.

Not so long, thought Smith. Two months from now my ribs will have a chance to mend from the crushing they’ve taken. Two months from now my hand will heal from being so constantly held. Two months from now my bruised underlip will begin to reshape itself. I don’t mean to sound
ungrateful…
He flipped the card over.

Marionettes, Inc., is two years old and has a fine record of satisfied customers behind it. Our motto is ‘No Strings Attached.’ Address: 43 South Wesley Drive.

The bus pulled to his stop; he alighted, and while humming up the stairs he thought, Nettie and I have fifteen thousand in our joint bank
account. I’ll just slip eight thousand out as a business venture, you might say. The marionette will probably pay back my money, with interest, in many ways. Nettie needn’t know. He unlocked the door and in a minute was in the bedroom. There lay Nettie, pale, huge, and piously asleep.

‘Dear Nettie.’ He was almost overwhelmed with remorse at her innocent face there in the semidarkness. ‘If you were awake you would smother me with kisses and coo in my ear. Really, you make me feel like a criminal. You have been such a good, loving wife. Sometimes it is impossible for me to believe you married me instead of that Bud Chapman you once liked. It seems that in the last month you have loved me more wildly than
ever
before.’

Tears came to his eyes. Suddenly he wished to kiss her, confess his love, tear up the card, forget the whole business. But as he moved to do this, his hand ached and his ribs cracked and groaned. He stopped, with a pained look in his eyes, and turned away. He moved out into the hall and through the dark rooms. Humming, he opened the kidney desk in the library and filched the bankbook. ‘Just take eight thousand dollars is all,’ he said. ‘No more than that.’ He stopped. ‘Wait a minute.’

He rechecked the bankbook frantically. ‘Hold on here!’ he cried. ‘Ten thousand dollars is missing!’ He leaped up. ‘There’s only five thousand left! What’s she done? What’s Nettie done with it? More hats, more clothes, more perfume! Or, wait—I know! She bought that little house on the Hudson she’s been talking about for months, without so much as a by your leave!’

He stormed into the bedroom, righteous and indignant. What did she mean, taking their money like this? He bent over her. ‘Nettie!’ he shouted. ‘Nettie, wake up!’

She did not stir. ‘What’ve you done with my money!’ he bellowed.

She stirred fitfully. The light from the street flushed over her beautiful cheeks.

There was something about her. His heart throbbed violently. His tongue dried. He shivered. His knees suddenly turned to water. He collapsed. ‘Nettie, Nettie!’ he cried. ‘What’ve you done with my money!’

And then, the horrid thought. And then the terror and the loneliness engulfed him. And then the fever and disillusionment. For, without desiring to do so, he bent forward and yet forward again until his fevered ear was resting firmly and irrevocably upon her round pink bosom. ‘Nettie!’ he cried.

Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.

As Smith walked away down the avenue in the night, Braling and Braling Two turned in at the door to the apartment. ‘I’m glad he’ll be happy too,’ said Braling.

‘Yes,’ said Braling Two abstractedly.

‘Well, it’s the cellar box for you, B-Two.’ Braling guided the other creature’s elbow down the stairs to the cellar.

‘That’s what I want to talk to you about,’ said Braling Two, as they reached the concrete floor and walked across it. ‘The cellar. I don’t like it. I don’t like that toolbox.’

‘I’ll try and fix up something more comfortable.’

‘Marionettes are made to move, not lie still. How would you like to lie in a box most of the time?’

‘Well—’

‘You wouldn’t like it at all. I keep running. There’s no way to shut me off. I’m perfectly alive and I have feelings.’

‘It’ll only be a few days now. I’ll be off to Rio and you won’t have to stay in the box. You can live upstairs.’

Braling Two gestured irritably. ‘And when you come back from having a good time, back in the box I go.’

Braling said, ‘They didn’t tell me at the marionette shop that I’d get a difficult specimen.’

‘There’s a lot they don’t know about us,’ said Braling Two. ‘We’re pretty new. And we’re sensitive. I hate the idea of you going off and laughing and lying in the sun in Rio while we’re stuck here in the cold.’

‘But I’ve wanted that trip all my life,’ said Braling quietly.

He squinted his eyes and could see the sea and the mountains and the yellow sand. The sound of the waves was good to his inward mind. The sun was fine on his bared shoulders. The wine was most excellent.

‘
I’ll
never get to go to Rio,’ said the other man. ‘Have you thought of that?’

‘No, I—’

‘And another thing. Your wife.’

‘What about her?’ asked Braling, beginning to edge toward the door.

‘I’ve grown quite fond of her.’

‘I’m glad you’re enjoying your employment.’ Braling licked his lips nervously.

‘I’m afraid you don’t understand. I think—I’m in love with her.’

Braling took another step and froze. ‘You’re
what
?’

‘And I’ve been thinking,’ said Braling Two, ‘how nice it is in Rio and how I’ll never get there, and I’ve thought about your wife and—I think we could be very happy.’

‘Th-that’s nice.’ Braling strolled as casually as he could to the cellar door. ‘You won’t mind waiting a moment, will you? I have to make a phone call.’

‘To whom?’ Braling Two frowned.

‘No one important.’

‘To Marionettes, Incorporated? To tell them to come get me?’

‘No, no—nothing like that!’ He tried to rush out the door.

A metal-firm grip seized his wrists. ‘Don’t run!’

‘Take your hands off!’

‘No.’

‘Did my wife put you up to this?’

‘No.’

‘Did she guess? Did she talk to you? Does she know? Is
that
it?’ He screamed. A hand clapped over his mouth.

‘You’ll never know, will you?’ Braling Two smiled delicately. ‘You’ll never know.’

Braling struggled. ‘She
must
have guessed; she
must
have affected you!’

Braling Two said, ‘I’m going to put you in the box, lock it, and lose the key. Then I’ll buy another Rio ticket for your wife.’

‘Now, now, wait a minute. Hold on. Don’t be rash. Let’s talk this over!’

‘Good-by. Braling.’

Braling stiffened. ‘What do you mean, “good-by”?’