The Story of Tom Brennan (4 page)

That's why there was no point talking about it, 'cause there was nothing in it to gain. All it did was make you feel lousy and hateful. And there was no point asking why, either. Why me, why us? I'd done that over and over and never got an answer. It was better just to let it lie.

The night it happened, I didn't get to the scout hall till after 8.30. I couldn't drag Snorter and Matt off the play station. They'd finally reached level six on 'Rams and Revheads' and there was no way they were going anywhere in a hurry. Especially Snorter, when he had the comfort of his couch and heater, the lazy prick.

'It's too cold,' Snorter whined. 'That old hall's a hole. Not even the scouts use it anymore.'

'Shut up, you wimp,' I said.

'Anyway, I don't know if my old lady'll want me taking the Statesman down that bush track. Just say it gets bogged?'

'Snorter, it hasn't rained for six months.'

'Yeah, well, why are you guys having this stupid "sudden death" party when you're still in it? They say footballers are thick. There's another bloody week to go!'

Matt came back from the dunny. 'How did we know we were going to be so brilliant?'

'Yeah! How did we know?' I grabbed Matt. We locked together in a scrum and started shouting and stamping, 'Boom-a-lacka, boom-a-lacka, green and white. Chick-a-lacka, chick-a-lacka, we will fight . . .'

'Shut up!' Snorter threw the hand controller at us. 'It's Fin who won the game for youse all.'

By the time we got to the hall Daniel and Luke were well pissed. Not that that was unusual for a weekend. They were wrestling each other, falling all over the place and generally being dickheads. Daniel could get playful when he'd had a bit. His problem was knowing when to stop. He kept hugging me, ruffling my hair and telling everyone who'd known us all our lives that I was his brother. 'Hey, this is Tommy, my little brother.'

If only he'd stayed in that mood.

I finally managed to give him the slip. His hugs and headlocks were getting a bit rough and Luke was getting in on the act too. I went around the back of the hall, outside, where there was a bonfire and a bit of peace from the racket inside.

Snorter was boring everyone senseless with his trail bike's brake problem, how much it was going to cost him and how anyone who'd ever used the bike should throw something in the kitty.

Sheridan and Nicole, two girls from my year, were screeching songs from
The Mikado
, the musical we'd done the year before. Nicole had been one of the three little maids and was still lapping up the stardom. There was a rumour going around she'd won a singing scholarship at a school in Sydney.

'When are they gonna get over it!' Matt complained. 'Someone do 'em a favour and shut 'em up.'

'They sound like pissed cockatoos,' I said.

'Don't insult the cockatoos, mate.'

'Three little maaaiiids from schooooooool!' They finished with an ear-shattering scream. 'Thank you,' Nicole said with a bow. 'Thank you, thank you. You're all beautiful.'

'Nicole's pissed as,' Matt said.

'Yeah, she looks it,' I said.

'Oi.' Matt gave us a nudge. 'Over there, look, it's Miss Priss. She doesn't look happy.'

We watched Claire walking out of the hall towards the bush. She stopped at one of the trees and leant her body against its trunk, her head bobbing up and down and her fists thumping along the trunk.

'She crying?' I said.

'Dunno,' answered Matt. 'You better go and see what your dickhead brother's done.'

I started walking towards her. She must've heard me 'cause she looked up, then quickly turned away. But it was too late for me to stop.

'Hey,' I said.

For a second she kept her back to me, then gradually she turned around. She wasn't crying but her face looked pale. She smiled, but it was quick and half-baked, not like her usual smile where her face glowed and she looked right into you.

'Hi, Tom,' she nodded. 'Good about the win.'

'Yeah.'

'You must be pleased?'

'Yeah.'

She gave the nervous smile again. 'So, next week the big one.'

Silence.

'You okay, Claire?'

'Um?' She stuck her hands in her pockets. 'Not sure.' She was being very un-Claire. 'Um, Dan and I have, um . . . broken up.' She said it so quietly I could hardly hear her.

'Huh?'

'We've, well, it really . . .' She took her hands out of her pockets and started to twist her long fingers around and around her wrists. 'It was me that broke it off. I mean, you know things have – changed. But I don't think he gets it. Have you seen him? He's really drunk.'

'Yeah.'

'
Really
drunk.'

'Where is he now?'

'I think he went back inside, it only happened a few minutes ago. I needed some air. I mean, I was trying to tell him that it wasn't working out anymore – for me, that is. I should've left it for later. Tonight probably wasn't the right night. Tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow would've been better, when he's not pissed. He goes off when he's had too much. He's been so full-on lately. But you know Daniel, it's all or nothing. Isn't it?' Claire was raving in a breathy little voice I'd never heard before. 'He's just, I don't know, he scares me sometimes, Tom. He just, well, he gets this look and it freaks me out.'

In the distance I could see Fin watching us, but when he saw me he turned around and walked back into the hall.

Claire was still talking. 'If he doesn't get his own way he kind of snaps. Yeah, he snaps.' She kept nodding. 'That's it. That's what he does. And I don't know how to deal with him when he gets like that.'

Of course I knew better than her what she was talking about.

'It's not your fault, Claire.'

'I didn't mean to hurt him, Tom. It just, you know, happened.' Claire stared at the ground, grinding her toe into the dirt. 'Dan doesn't understand that if you don't treat someone right then . . .'

'Claire, no one could blame you.'

'So you don't hate me?'

'Hate you?'

She looked right into my eyes. 'Daniel says he's going to – kill him.'

'Who? Huh?'

And then we heard the shouting and Matt was outside on the stairs yelling, 'Where's Tom? Someone find Tom.'

Claire and I ran into the hall. 'Fight. Fight,' people were chanting.

I could hear Daniel yelling as I elbowed my way through the crowd.

'Fuck you! Fuck you!' he kept screaming.

Claire slipped on the beer-sodden floor. Someone helped her up. I recognised the back of Fin's head inside the circle that was closing in around my brother's voice. I pushed my way to Fin so he could help me, tell me what Daniel was going on about. And that's when I got the real shock. It was Fin Daniel was yelling at.

'What's going on, Fin?'

'He's off his face.'

'Fuck you!' Daniel jeered. Foamy spit had pooled in the corners of his mouth. Luke and Owen, one of the forwards, were standing close by. I couldn't work it out. We'd just made the final, won the biggest game of our lives. We were mates. A team. We were family.

'What's going on?' I yelled again. 'Luke? What's, what's . . .'

But Luke didn't answer. He just stood there swaying and looking blank.

'You're a weasel, Fin.' Spit was flying from Daniel's mouth. 'Finbar the weasel.'

'Shut up Daniel, you're pissed.'

'I'm not too pissed to smell you, Finbar.'

'What are you going on about?' And as I said it I realised. This was what Claire had tried to tell me. 'Daniel?'

'Oh, fuck you, Tom. This is between Fin and me. Finbar the weasel. Get your brown nose out of our business.'

'Daniel.' I heard my voice shake. 'Get out of
his
face.'

'Oh, little Tom,' he taunted. 'You going to stick up for Finny? You think maybe Finny'll save you some?' Snarling, he beckoned me over like he did when we were kids and he wanted to fight. 'That's what you two got in common, Tommy. You couldn't buy yourselves a root.'

'Leave him, Tom,' Fin sneered. 'He's a loser, mate.'

Daniel lunged towards Fin but Owen caught him by the shoulders and held him back. They stumbled into the circle that had packed tightly around us. Daniel found his footing and pushed Owen's hands off him.

I saw Claire standing there, tears spilling down her cheeks. She threw her hands over her mouth and I turned to see Daniel take another step towards Fin. This time no one stopped him. Fin didn't move. The room was silent except for the echo of Daniel's breathing, hard and fast.

Their noses almost touched but Daniel whispered loud enough for us all to hear. 'Even if I let you have it, you wouldn't know what to do with it.'

Daniel pushed Fin out of his way, slamming his shoulders through the circle. The crowd scattered to let him through. I followed, forcing my way to the front of the hall.

'Daniel!' I called. 'Daniel!'

He ignored me as he stumbled along the dirt track, kicking anything in his way and screaming things that made no sense. Just noise and anger.

I caught up to him. 'Why do you have to be such an arsehole?'

'Piss off, Tom,' he yelled.

'No, you piss off.' I pushed him. He turned around, grabbing me by the neck of my jumper, stretching the wool till it was almost over my head.

'You know nothing about it.'

'Yeah?' I wrestled out of my jumper. 'I know stuff.'

Daniel walked on, banging the bonnets of cars that were parked along the track. I followed him. I wasn't going to let him off that easily, let him off like Mum and Dad and Pa always had. I wanted an answer. I wanted to grab his face in my hands and squeeze it until I could feel his jaw snap. Then ask him why, why he had to ruin everything.

'You did it to yourself,' I screamed. 'You've been treating Claire like a piece of shit and you know it.'

He spun around faster than I was ready for and slammed me against a telegraph pole. He held me there for just a second, long enough for me to see the darkness in his eyes. 'You grovelling little prick,' he spat.

'Let him go!' It was Fin. 'Let him go, Daniel!'

'Come on,' Luke called behind Fin. 'Give it up, Dan. We're having a party, mate. A par-dee.' He took a hip flask of bourbon out of his coat pocket and took a swig. 'We made the final! Third year in a row-ho-ho.'

Daniel took the bottle from Luke and had a long drink. Then he held the bottle out to Fin. 'You want some?'

I held my breath. Fin stood there staring.

'You deaf?' Daniel snarled. 'I said, do you want some? Seeing you like my slops so much.'

We all just stood there. No one said anything.

'You're – the – prick.' I felt my chest heave with each word.

I walked off, leaving them there, wishing, hoping he'd walk further into the black hole he'd dug for himself. 'You've really fucked it up this time!' I yelled behind me. 'You deserve it, Daniel. You deserve everything you get. Everything! You're going down. Down!'

I had to get as far away from him as possible. At that moment I didn't care what he did, I didn't care if I never saw him again. I despised him, and it was burning a hole in my guts.

I could feel my teeth grinding together. I kicked at the dirt and thumped the trunks of the trees as I strode away from the hall, away from the car park. Away from them all. I didn't care if I had to walk all the way home.

The party seemed to be folding anyway. As I got further down the track I could hear everyone loading into their cars. People laughing and yelling, doors slamming, engines starting. The screech of tyres on the dirt with the odd doughie.

A single file of cars and utes crawled down the kilometre-long dirt road that met up with the highway. I kept my head down, hoping no one'd notice me, but no such luck.

Us Mumbilli folk got a bit excited in a traffic jam. Let alone making the grand final, a family biffo then a traffic jam. Everybody had a bit to say. The wankers stopped to make some smart-arse comment about what'd happened. The busybody do-gooders had to see if everything was okay and if I needed a lift home.

But I wanted to walk. Walk it out of me.

A car slowed up next to me.

'Tom?' It was Claire, piled into a car with her girlfriends. She was crying and held a bunch of tissues to her nose. 'I'm so sorry, Tom. Are you okay?'

'Yeah.'

'Fin said he'd stay with him.'

'What?'

'Dan.' The car was driving away. 'Dan,' she called again. 'Fin said he'd . . .' Her voice disappeared into the traffic.

'Oi!' It was the Statesman.

Matt wound down the window. 'We've been looking for you.'

'Get in,' Snorter said. 'Tell us the real story.'

'I feel like walking.'

'Walking!' Snorter said, stopping the car.

The blokes behind started honking their horns. That and the hip-hop, rap, techno and whatever other rub-bish was blaring from the cars made it impossible to hear what Snorter and Matt were saying.

'What?' I yelled.

'Hurry up,' someone shouted and, 'Pull over, you turkey.'

'Yeah, all right!' Matt gave them the finger as Snorter pulled the Statesman over to the side of the track, letting the cars behind pass.

'Geeze, if they get dust on the Statesman, I'll kill 'em,' Snorter growled.

I leant into the window. 'Has it calmed down?'

'Sort of,' Matt nodded. 'Was that Claire?'

'Yeah. She was with the girls.'

'Wish I was in that car,' Snorter moaned.

I ignored him. 'What about the others?'

'Luke was throwing up. Dan was raving a bit. He's tanked.'

'Was Fin with them?'

'Yeah.'

'God, he's an idiot.'

'I know, but he's the only one that's sober,' Matt said. 'I s'pose he'll take Dan home.'

'If he can drag him away.' Snorter smirked. 'Daniel looked pretty busy with Nicole when I last looked.'

'Nicole?' I wasn't in the mood for Snorter's jokes. 'Geeze, you're sick.'

'True!' Snorter was smirking. 'That dirty brother of yours, he sniffs out an opportunity and she was ready and waiting.'

'She's pissed,' Matt said. 'She was all over him.'

'At least she can't sing when someone's got their tongue down her throat.'

'You're off, Snorter.'