The Story of Us (14 page)

I text back.
“Yes, father.”

“Good girl.”

“I’m not a
dog…”

“Night,
princess.”

I smile as I roll back over, but then
I hear my phone buzz again, so I turn back around.

“Happy
birthday.”

I start to text back that it’s not my
birthday, but then I realize its past midnight, so technically it
is.

“Thanks for everything you
did for me today and tonight. It means a lot. You really made my
birthday special. My first tattoo and meeting Lady A all in the
same 24 hrs… It’s definitely one I’ll never forget.”

“Mission accomplished
;)”

Chapter 11

My actual birthday is pretty sucky. I
have to break up with Tyler and I spend the majority of the day and
evening with my parents, who made it a point to come out and take
me to dinner for my birthday. I wasn’t convinced they’d actually
show since they were supposed to come months ago when I first moved
in and ended up cancelling. It’s great to see them and have that
piece of home here, but at the same time it’s beyond frustrating to
constantly defend my decision to attend this college. I honestly
think my father still has high hopes of me transferring to a more
prestigious university. He’s in denial that I’ll actually be here
for the next three and a half years. I’m tempted to show him my new
tattoo of the college mascot, just to watch his reaction. But I
don’t. Because deep down, I’m still his little girl, desperately
searching for approval. I know he loves me, I just can’t shake the
feeling that he’s constantly disappointed in me. At dinner, they
tell me they’ll be away on vacation for Christmas. As distant as my
parents and I are, we’ve never spent a Christmas apart. Our holiday
is different than most families’, I’m sure. Instead of the wrapped
presents, they hand me money to go shopping for myself. But they’ve
always been there nonetheless. When I start to make a big deal
about them going away this year, they reprimand me for acting like
a child.

“You’re in college now. I’m sure you
have better things to do than hang out with your parents. It’s just
a vacation. It’s not like we’re moving away for good. You’re a
grown adult, stop taking a tantrum.”

I go to bed early and with a heavy
heart, torn between missing my parents and feeling like I’m not
enough for them. I awake to the buzz of my phone at 11:57 P.M. to
see a text from Craig.

“How was your day with the
rents? Hope u had a great bday, princess.”

“Honestly, not great. Not
bad either, but just not great. I’m in bed… you woke me up. But
thanks.”

“In bed?! It’s your bday!
Where is that bf of yours? I’m gonna kick his ass for letting u go
to bed early on your bday. You should be livin it up!”

“It’s not early! And we
broke up.”

“Oh.”

A minute passes before his next
text.

“Sorry?”

“Why the question
mark?”

“Cuz I’m not really sorry.
But I feel like u might want me to be. Should I be? Did he break
your heart? Cuz if he did, on your bday, then I really will kick
his ass.”

“No. I broke up with him.
If anything, I broke his heart.”

“Oh. Good.”

“It’s not good. It still
hurts.”

“If it hurts then why’d
you do it?”

I can’t answer that question without
telling him that he’s the reason. And I won’t do that. Because
regardless of what my feelings may or may not be towards Craig, it
doesn’t change anything between us. It can’t. So, I change the
subject.

“
Why are u up so late anyways?”

“Just walked Katy
back.”

“Your newest flavor of the
week?”

“Could be
serious.”

“Ha! Yeah,
right.”

“Ouch. Ye of little
faith…”

“Good night,
Craig.”

“Night,
princess.”

The next couple weeks are pretty
miserable. I feel like shit after breaking up with Tyler. Not only
do I feel like a horrible person for hurting him, but I also feel
like I might have made a huge mistake. It weighs on me and I can’t
seem to shake the irritated mood I’ve been in. The frigid weather
doesn’t help to lift my spirits either. There’s no vibrant colors
left outside. The trees are bare and lifeless. There’s not even
snow to brighten it up. It’s just grey and biting cold.

After moving the tables
around in my public speaking class, I sit and watch everyone file
in from their other classes. I’m grateful that my previous class
was in this same room, as I watch everyone else trying to fight off
the cold from walking outside. When Craig sits down next to me, I
can literally feel the cold air coming off of him. He breathes into
his hands, trying to warm them up, and then he turns and smiles at
me. I have to admit, my heart beats unsteadily. I know how I feel
about him now; there’s no point in trying to fool myself anymore. I
also know that we could never be anything more than what we are.
I’ve watched him go from one girl to another, all the while
shamelessly flirting with me. Since my birthday a couple weeks ago,
I’ve seen him with six different girls.
Six!
I can’t say for sure whether
he’s slept with all of them or not, but knowing Craig, I wouldn’t
put it past him. I can’t be with a guy like that. So I let him
flirt, and sometimes I even flirt back. But that’s where it
ends.

Our professor spends the whole class
discussing our final oral presentations that we’ll be doing next
week. It doesn’t help my sour mood at all. I hate public speaking.
I’ve been alright so far, but this last one is longer and more
personal.

“What are you going to talk about?”
Craig asks me, referring to the presentation.

Up until this point, the topics we’ve
presented have been assigned to us. This is the first time we get
to pick anything we want. At the beginning of the class, it sounded
like this assignment would be the easiest, but now I can see why
it’s the final exam. It’s definitely harder when it’s more
individualized for each of us, more personal.

“Honestly, I don’t even want to think
about it. It makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about
the speaking days and this one is even worse.”

“I never would have known. You always
seem so confident.”

“What? I’m anything but! I shake,
literally shake, every time I have to stand up there.”

“Chew gum before you speak next week.”
I give him a skeptical look, so he explains, “No, really. It’s
supposed to help. I can’t remember where I heard it, but evidently
if you chew something, it tricks the brain into thinking that
there’s no need to be nervous. Because if you were in any real
danger, you wouldn’t be eating or chewing on anything. Chewing
tells the brain you’re safe. Nerves gone.”

I laugh, but it actually kind of makes
sense. “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”

Without cheerleading practices taking
up the majority of my free time anymore, I’m actually kind of bored
when I get done with my classes for the day. Sometimes I watch the
upperclassmen cheerleaders practice. They’re season is officially
over but they still have competition coming up, which means more
practice than ever for them. But freshman don’t compete, so
technically I’m done cheering until next year. More often than not,
I find myself hanging out at the Grind, where Craig still works but
Tiffany has been MIA lately. Maybe she quit when Craig found his
next girl. Whatever happened, I haven’t asked. I sit, mainly by
myself, with my laptop and books. I work on my assignments and try
to warm up with the hot flowing liquid that I can’t seem to go more
than a couple hours without.

I’m knee-deep in my psychology
assignment when I feel someone tap me on the shoulder and I nearly
jump out of my skin.

“You scared the shit out of me,
Hailey!”

“Sorry. Can we talk?”

She has that look on her face that
tells me something is wrong.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Something’s going on with Drew,” she
confesses, taking a seat across from me.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s
nothing…”

“Hail, I can’t help if you don’t tell
me.”

She hesitates and then takes a deep
breath. “Honestly, I think he might be…” she trails off, not
wanting to finish the sentence. I can see tears in her eyes, even
though I can tell she’s trying to hide it by blinking them
away.

“Hailey, whatever’s going on, you can
tell me.”

She looks away, still blinking. “I
think he’s cheating on me,” she whispers.

“No,” I state automatically. Drew
would never cheat on Hailey. If I know anything, it would be that.
He’s head over heels in love with her. “Hailey, Drew would never.
Why would you ever even think that?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the
only explanation. He’s been getting phone calls and he’s ambiguous
about them, like he’s hiding them from me. He always says ‘can’t
talk right now, call me later’ or something to that effect when he
answers. And it’s not just the phone calls. It’s like he doesn’t
want to spend as much time with me anymore. I feel him pushing me
away. When I stop by his dorm, he tries to get me out as fast as he
can. I can tell he’s hiding something.”

She’s becoming increasingly upset, so
I pack up my stuff and usher her out of the Grind before she makes
a scene. I know she wouldn’t want Craig to see her crying and ask
Drew about it. It’s freezing outside, so we walk back to our dorm.
Fortunately, Julie and Ashley aren’t around to ask questions. We
walk straight into our own room, just in case they do come
back.

“Okay, Hail. This is
ridiculous. Drew is in love with you. He’s in love with you in the
way girls wish guys would fall for them. He’s like the perfect guy.
He’s sweet and caring and… loyal! He’s faithful. Besides, you’re
gorgeous. He’d be crazy to look elsewhere. I know he isn’t cheating
on you, so please stop worrying about that. It might be something
else, but it’s not that. Drew is a
good
guy.”

I can see her start to calm down a
bit, as my words sink in. “What could it be then?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, “But we’ll
find out.”

During the next few days, I prepare my
speech for my public speaking class and study for my other finals
in between trying to figure out what’s going on with Drew. I wish I
could just come right out and ask him, but Hailey won’t allow it.
If I were still with Tyler, I could ask him to snoop a little or
eavesdrop on a phone conversation. But I don’t think he’d be happy
to hear from me, and I could guess he would be even less happy with
me asking favors. So, I do what any college girl would do. I stalk
his Facebook. Religiously. I check through all of his friends and
mark down the ones I don’t know. I follow his activity and check
through his page often. I don’t tell Hailey what I find though,
because honestly it doesn’t look good. This one girl, Charlie, is a
red flag. I don’t think Hailey’s noticed because of the name. Her
profile pic is of a girl and a guy together, and because of the
name, I thought it was the guy. But evidently, Charlie is the girl
in the pic. She doesn’t talk to Drew directly, which is weird. But
she’s liked a few of his pictures. And there’s one picture that she
commented on, but only to say, “This one.” Obviously, there’s more
to that conversation that either took place in a private message or
that Drew deleted. I can’t help but wonder if Hailey is right. I
don’t want to believe it though. I can’t help but hold Drew and
Hailey’s relationship on a pedestal. They’re just so perfect. If
they can’t make it, what hope is there for anyone else?

I have a mix of emotions as I sit and
watch people walk into public speaking. On the one hand, I’m
relieved that I’ve taken all of my final exams and this is the last
class that I have. On the other hand, I’m beyond nervous about my
speech. When Craig walks in, he hands me a piece of gum and I give
him a knowing smile in return. When the professor comes in, she
starts the class right away. I chew while I listen to four speeches
before Craig’s name is called. He walks confidently up to the front
of the classroom and begins.

“We were told this speech could be
about anything of our choosing. And while I’ve thoroughly enjoyed
Mike’s speech on why the green M&Ms are better than the other
colors,” everyone chuckles, “I thought I would use this speech as
an opportunity to say some things that I’ve always wanted to say,
but never have. So here goes,” he takes a deep breath and shakes
out his hands before speaking again.

“
She’s different. She’s unique. She’s beautiful.”

He pauses for a moment in emphasis and
then continues.

“Our differences are what
make us beautiful. Or so I’ve been told. But obviously not everyone
thinks this way. The differences that I see are different from the
differences you see. I see someone more literal, more specific. You
see someone stupid; someone childish. Her brain works differently
so you dismiss her without a thought. But if you took the time to
get to know her, you’d understand. You’d understand that she’d
always choose to take the time to get to know you. Maybe not in the
conventional way, but she would nonetheless. And that makes her a
better person than you. While you snub your nose at her and look
down on her, she is actually the better one. Her brain may work
differently, but her compassion outreaches any of ours. Her
humanity and kindness are forces to be reckoned with. She is
beautiful inside and out. Yes, she is awkward. And that makes you
uncomfortable. Tough. Get over it. She doesn’t know how to accept
change. She doesn’t understand sarcasm. She’s obsessed with Disney,
boy bands, stuffed animals, and me. She doesn’t fit in. She panics
in crowds. Her vocabulary is limited. She can’t make small-talk.
She doesn’t conform to a mold that society has made. She is one of
a kind. And she is beautiful. She is beautiful because she’s
different. And if you can’t understand that, then maybe you should
consider the fact that you are not a good person. Because good
people focus on what others can do, not on what they can’t. She’s
not broken. She doesn’t need to be fixed. Just because you can’t
understand her, doesn’t mean she is not communicating. Some of the
most wonderful people are the ones who don’t fit into boxes. She is
different, yes. But she is not less. She is so much
more.”