The Strange Healing (15 page)

She tried to get up off Heath's lap, but he tightened his arms around her.  “Sweetheart, we didn't try to hide anything from you.  But if you want to be upset with someone, it should be me.  I asked them not to mention it unless you asked.”

“If I would have asked –“

Heath quickly finished, “We would have told you.  None of us would have lied to you.”

“Then why didn't you tell me?”

Heath tried to explain his thoughts and feelings in a way she would not only understand, but feel.  “From the moment I saw you on the beach that day I felt something special for you, Sara.  When you started to talk to me and open up, I knew you had some problems, and I was pretty sure I could help you with them.  But when you said you'd gone to two professionals that hadn't helped, I didn't want to tell you what I do and have you think I'm just another one of them, and stop talking.  You were starting to trust me, which is so important, and I didn't want to jeopardize that trust.”

Sara's voice cracked as she quietly asked, “So this is a professional relationship?  You want to meet the challenge of the nut job that needs help, and then you'll move on to the next tough case?”

Heath was appalled at what she was suggesting.  “Absolutely not.  Sara, I have never looked at you in a professional light.  Our relationship in my mind has always been a personal thing.”

She looked up at him, as if studying his eyes for the truth of his words.  He met her gaze and held it, hoping to convey the honesty.  He tried to explain further.  “Sara, the more we got to know each other the closer I felt to you.  I could feel you trusting me more, as well, and I knew that was as a person.  You didn't know what I do yet, so your trust for me was as a person, a friend, and that meant the world to me.  Honey, I was starting to have some very strong feelings for you.  The last thing I wanted to do was scare you off before we even had a chance to see if we have something between us.”

After a silent spell, she asked, “Why would you think you'd scare me off?”

“Because you said the other two professionals didn't help you.  I was, and I could tell I was.  And I think the reason I was able to help you is because you saw me as a friend, a friend you trusted, and not as a psychiatrist.  But it's probably also because I never thought of you as a patient, only as a friend.  A very good friend that I hope becomes even more than that some day.”  He paused a while, then offered, “Sara, I'm sorry if you think I kept something from you and you feel hurt.  I never, ever intended to do that.”

She looked up at him again and asked, “You're sure I'm not just another case to you and this is a professional relationship?”

Before Heath could answer, Heather started laughing.  The two of them looked over at her and noticed Phil was also smiling, trying not to laugh. 

Heather saw the hurt expressions on their faces and explained, “I'm sorry, guys.  I really didn't mean to laugh or hurt your feelings, but let me tell you how this looks from our perspective.”  She pointed to Phil as she said, “We see the big picture here clearly, so let me explain it to you.  It is so obvious to us that you two were meant to run into each other and be together.  If you'll recall, Heath, I pointed that out to you the first day you two met.  And Sara, I told you about it, too.  Now, I realize I got in trouble for doing that, and I truly am sorry if I pushed a bit in that direction.  But the fact still remains, you two are perfect together.”

Heath was a bit surprised that Phil wasn't stopping her, or admonishing her about pushing again.  Instead, he was looking at her and smiling.  That spoke volumes to Heath, and he listened further to Heather.

“Sara, to even think that Heath could possibly be thinking of you professionally is funny to me.  You don't know him as well, so you'll just have to trust me on this, but Heath is very, very good at what he does.  But he's also very professional about it.  He never allows himself to get too close to any of his patients.  Look at you.  Even as we speak you're sitting on his lap.  He would never come anywhere close to even considering such a thing with a client.”

Sara looked at where she was as if she hadn't realized she was sitting on his lap, and Heath did something similar.  He looked at her and smiled.  He kissed her forehead and tightened his arms around her and said, “I'd never do that to a client, either.”

Phil spoke up and said, “I don't always agree with Heather and her ideas, but in this case I most certainly do.  It was totally apparent from the moment you two met that there was some kind of connection, some electricity between you.”  When Sara looked at him curiously, he said, “Sara, that first day at the beach you clung to Heath, wouldn't let go of him.  Now, I realize you'd just been through something traumatic, but you clung to him like he was your lifeline, like you somehow instinctively knew you were safe with him.”

While she considered his words, Phil turned to Heath and continued, “And you wouldn't let loose of her, either.  Heather and I could practically see the sparks flying between you two.”  Laughing a bit and looking at Sara, he added, “And trust me, those were not professional sparks we were seeing.”

Heather took over again as she added, “And the fact that he let me check you over for injuries that day was another
telltale sign that he was interested in you personally, not professionally.”

All three of them looked at her curiously, so she explained, “As a psychiatrist, Heath is a medical doctor.  He was more qualified than me to check you for injuries, and normally he would have been the one to do it.  But he deferred to me.  I admit he watched me closely to be sure I was doing it correctly, but he still deferred to me.  It's difficult to check someone you care about personally for injuries.  You're hoping you don't find anything, so it becomes difficult to be unbiased and look carefully and do a thorough job.  So when he allowed me to check you, I knew right then and there what his feelings were for you.”

Heath looked at Heather and smiled.  “Good job, Sis.  I'm proud of you.  You caught something even I missed.  I did defer to you, didn't I?”

“Yes, you did, big brother, and I knew why.”

He smiled and said, “You really are observant. That's part of what makes you a very good nurse, Heather.”

She returned his smile and said, “Coming from a very good psychiatrist, that's a big compliment.  Thank you.” 

Heath turned to look at Sara, who was deep in thought.  He asked, “So if you still feel I was trying to keep something from you, can you forgive me?  I never meant to do that.”

She studied his face a bit, then said, “No, you didn't.  You were trying to help me.  I see that now.”

Heath let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, and gave her a big hug.  “That's my girl!”

Sara smiled and said, “And you two were aiding and abetting, as you would say, Phil, in his scheme to help me.”

They all laughed, but Phil and Heather admitted, “Guilty as charged.”

Heath asked, “Are we okay now, Sweetheart?”

Sara answered, “Absolutely.  And once again I feel I need to say thank you to all of you.  You've all helped me a lot.”  Turning to look at Heath, she said, “I don't even want to think about where I'd be right now without you, Heath.” 

He said, “That's funny, I was just thinking the same thing.”

“You?  What do you mean?”

“Honey, if we're going to go forward with this relationship, and I sincerely hope we do, it's time I tell you something about myself.  I have never been one to date just for the sake of dating.  I like to go out with friends and have fun, but to go on a date with a woman, one on one, just us as a date, to me it has to be with someone I can potentially see as a lifelong mate, someone I'd want to share my life with.  I'm a pretty good judge of people, so I've met lots of good people, many of which I consider friends now, but very few women I've wanted to date.  The ones I have dated I've only dated once.  They were all very nice people, but I just didn't feel a connection with them.  There was nothing pulling me toward getting to know them better with the idea of spending my life with them.  Until I met you.”

Phil and Heather were smiling and nodding their heads, and Sara was looking at him with a very serious expression in her eyes, and smiling.  He went on, “The more I get to know you the more I want to spend time with you and get to know you even more.  I feel like a new man, with a new direction in life.  I can't imagine life without you, Sara.”

Sara reached up and put her arms around Heath, who pulled her in for a hug and kiss.  They both were oblivious to anyone or anything else in the world for several minutes, while they shared a most passionate kiss.  He just held her in his arms afterwards for
a while before he realized they were alone.  He chuckled as he said, “We may have gotten a bit carried away.  Phil and Heather are gone.”

Sara blushed, which made her even more becoming in Heath's eyes right then, and he had to kiss her again.  When he finally pulled away, he asked, “Do you think we should call them back in?”

“Probably,” she answered, as she reached up for one more kiss.

The four friends spent the afternoon together, talking, laughing, and swimming.  As they were lounging by the pool late in the afternoon Heather asked, “Do you guys want to have a cookout for dinner?  The guys can grill the meat and Sara and I will fix the rest.”

Heath quickly said, “Not tonight, Heather.  Sara and I still have a lot of talking to do to help her work through her feelings.  If she wants to move into John's condo Wednesday we need to work on that.”

Sara gave him a guarded look.  “What do you mean if I want to move Wednesday?  I didn't know there was any 'if' about it.”

Heath reached over and took her hand in his.  “Sweetheart, right now I don't think you're ready yet.  I'd worry about you being alone at night.  I think you'll be fine once you've confronted your fears, though.  The more I get to know you the more I'm realizing how strong a person you are, which is good.  A lot's happened to you, though, that would cause fears for anyone.  A strong person can confront those fears and come through it fine, but it will take some time to do that.  So if you want to be ready by Wednesday I think we need to get started.”

“
So if you still don't think I'm ready by Wednesday –”

“
Then I'll suggest you stay with Phil and Heather another day or two until you are.”

Phil jumped in quickly.  “And you'll be welcome here until you and Heath both feel you're ready.”

Heather added, “Sara, I don't always agree with my brother, but I do on this.  I can't even imagine going through what you have.  I'd be a basket case.  But the one person I'd want to help me would be him.  He knows what he's talking about here.  If he says you're not ready yet, I'd listen to him.  As a nurse I know you can take two steps backwards instead of one forward if you try to rush the healing process.  In the long run you'll be better waiting until you both feel like you're ready.”

Sara looked at all three of them carefully.  Then she stared into the pool.  Finally, she said, “It's going to take me
a while to get used to having three people who care this much about me.”

Heath was immediately off his lounger and over to where Sara was sitting on the lounger beside him.  He slid in behind her and pulled her back up against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist.  He leaned down, and with his mouth close to her ear softly said, “Well, get used to it, Sweetie, because we do all care.”  He leaned down a little more and kissed her neck.

She leaned back against him, smiling.  “Getting used to most of it will be easy,” she sighed.

“
What part worries you?” 

“
What happens if you don't think I'm ready to stay alone Wednesday?”

“
Then you stay with Phil and Heather another day or two.  Would that be so bad, Honey?”

“
No, but that's not my concern.  What if you don't think I'm ready, but I do?”

He tightened his arms around her waist and jovially said, “Then you stay with Phil and Heather another day or two.  Would that be so bad?”

She sat up and turned around, looking at him. “So what you say goes; that's the law?”

Heather told her, “Welcome to my world, Sara.  You better get used to it.”

Phil said, “And on that totally uncalled for comment, I think I'll take my wife back to our condo and discuss the appropriateness of snide comments.  We'll give you some privacy so you can get started on the work you have ahead of you.  Hopefully you can remember you're both after the same thing, and that's to get Sara strong again and ready to move on with her life, which includes being alone without the fear she's been dealing with.”

Phil took Heather by the elbow and steered her away from the pool, toward their condo.  She started to say something to her husband, but Phil quipped, “Not one word until we get
upstairs." He turned back one more time and said, “Heath, I think you were right when you told her it's been so effective because you've been talking as friends, not as a doctor and patient.  Emphasis is on the talking as friends.  See you two later.”

He left, leading an anxious looking Heather.  Heath and Sara looked at each other, and neither said anything for several moments.  Finally, he said, “Sara, in his own quiet way, Phil just called me on the carpet, and he's right.  I'm sorry.”