The Stranger She Married (21 page)

A pang of remorse shot through her. They had been married for weeks, yet she still failed to welcome him into her bed. Alicia knew she was being terribly selfish, that she should submit herself to him as was his right. After all, he'd been kind and patient. He deserved a wife who respected him enough to offer him the comfort of her body.

But whenever she imagined herself lying next to him with his hands on her skin the way Mr. Braxton had touched her, her stomach clenched until she felt ill. She went back into her room and closed the door. Her appetite had disappeared.

That night, she dreamed of lying in Cole's strong, gentle arms. Then he began tearing her bodice. Cole's face twisted and transformed into Mr. Braxton. She struggled to free herself as his hands pawed at her body, but his face changed again and he wore her husband's mask. His leather gloves felt cold and lifeless on her skin.

"Alicia."

She cried out, bolting upright and whirling toward the disconnected voice in the darkness.

"Are you all right?” The baron's voice cut through her fear, its soothing tones quieting her panic.

"Yes,” she managed. Cold sweat drenched her nightgown.

"You were dreaming."

"Yes."

"You were begging me to stop."

She pressed the heels of her hands into her wet eyes.

"Do you still fear me so much?"

She had no reply.

Soundlessly, he left the room and closed the door firmly behind him. Alicia laid her head down and wept.

On the morning of her one month anniversary, the butler informed Alicia that a visitor by the name of Lady Edenburgh had come to call. Pleased that a neighbor had chosen to pay a visit, Alicia smoothed her hair and greeted her caller.

Lady Edenburgh met her with a warm smile. The lady was perhaps ten years her senior, with a lovely face and bright, lively eyes. She wore a tastefully simple, yet fashionable gown.

"Lady Amesbury,” she said with a charming accent Alicia could not quite place. “I am so happy to make your acquaintance. When I learned that a lady had come to live here, so near my own home, I waited impatiently until after you'd been married a month so I could come welcome her."

"I'm so glad you did."

"I've been here for three years, yet I still sometimes feel as if I am a newcomer."

"You have such a lovely accent. Where are you from?"

Lady Edenburgh smiled. “I grew up in Ireland. My parents and tutors were all English, but when everyone else speaks with an Irish accent, one picks it up."

They chatted comfortably, and Lady Edenburgh filled her in on the latest gossip. She spoke briefly of her husband. “Unfortunately, a year after we were wed, he suffered an apoplexy and is a near invalid."

"Oh, how terrible for you both."

"We have learned to cope."

Emboldened by her guest's forthright manner, Alicia said, “Pray tell me, have you ever met my husband?"

"No. Lord Amesbury has been either absent, or reclusive for as long as I can remember."

"Then he seldom attends any social functions?"

"None that I'm aware of."

Poor man. He kept himself shut away from the world. No wonder he was willing to go to such measures to find a wife. His alternative was to live his entire life in solitude.

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On the day of the ball, Monique arranged Alicia's hair with all the care of a sculptor. Alicia sat looking somberly in the mirror wishing she felt more excitement. Before events put her into mourning, she had anticipated a ball with eagerness. There was little she loved to do as much as dance, to feel completely carried away by the music. Tonight, however, a sense of foreboding dampened her enthusiasm.

Alicia worried that she and her husband would create a sensation when they arrived. She knew he seldom attended social functions.

She wondered if their every move would be discussed and analyzed. Some might look upon her with sympathy, others, with scorn. Perhaps they'd view him as a curiosity, or as the source of apprehension, ridicule, or fear.

By the time Monique slipped her gown over her head, Alicia was tempted to cry off.

"And this one, I think, would be perfect.” Monique retrieved a pearl and diamond necklace from the jewelry case and held it up.

Alicia hesitated. She seldom removed her mother's locket, yet the baron might feel slighted if she failed to wear any of the family jewelry he'd so generously given her. She removed her locket, set it carefully in the jewelry case, and allowed Monique to fasten the pearls around her neck.

As she pulled on her gloves, Lord Amesbury knocked respectfully and entered at her bidding. She turned to face him, her dress making a slight rustle.

"You look exquisite, my darling. The dress is lovely, don't you agree?"

The dress had arrived the day before from Paris, a pale green silk with a darker green sash. The hemline pulled up in little flounces held with tiny green ribbons. The wide neckline showed off her smooth white shoulders. She almost felt beautiful.

"It's lovely, my lord."

"And the jewels are perfect.” He drew closer. “You look like a queen."

"I think I will be afraid all night that I might lose them,” she confessed.

"I hope you will enjoy yourself tonight, Alicia. Do not hurry back. I will see you at dinner tomorrow night."

Her eyes opened wide.

"I am not going with you, my darling. You are a rare beauty and you should not be seen with a frightening creature like me. Our neighbor, Lady Edenburgh, has agreed to attend with you."

Alicia nodded. She looked forward to spending more time with her nearest neighbor.

"And my cousin Cole has agreed to attend. He normally dislikes balls, he calls them marriage marts, but he has promised to watch over you this evening."

Alicia stared. “My lord—"

"I understand your feelings, but I want to make sure you are safe. Cole is the only man I'd trust to protect you as I would if I were present."

He kissed her cheek in that muffled way that had become familiar to her, and left before she could argue further.

Monique fussed over her several more minutes while Alicia fought the rising tremor that leapt to her throat at the mention of Cole's name. After Monique was satisfied that she appeared picture-perfect, Alicia picked up her reticule and left her room. Her husband's door was closed. She paused before it, but then moved on.

Lady Edenburgh's coach waited outside. The night had cooled and the trees glistened silver in the moonlight.

Alicia chatted happily with Lady Edenburgh and asked about the nearby residents. In her charming Irish accent, Lady Edenburgh gleefully repeated the local gossip.

Although the journey took nearly an hour, time passed quickly and they soon arrived at the duke's home.

When the major-domo announced her, an excited hush rippled through the crowd. Alicia keenly felt the eyes of everyone in attendance upon her, as if wondering about the bride of the crippled Baron Amesbury. Desiring to reflect well upon her husband, she tried to move gracefully as she entered the ballroom. Her gown and jewels, she knew, were perfect and she caught smiles of approval, and even one or two of envy.

The host and hostess greeted her warmly and she made her apologies for her husband. They did not seem surprised that he had chosen to remain behind. She turned and halted.

Cole stood within arm's reach, smugly handsome, dressed in impeccable blue superfine that showed his broad form to its full advantage. A sapphire the exact color of his eyes glittered from his snowy cravat.

His smile flashed, calmly stirring her into chaos with even greater efficiency than normal. Yet tonight she saw him in a new light. She knew deep hurt resided behind that confident smile, a hurt she wanted to help heal if she could. But somehow, his effortless control over her senses threw her into a state of irritation.

"My lord,” she greeted him. She tried to keep her voice nonchalant. His handsome grin widened, and her knees weakened.

"Can't you agree to call me Cole just for tonight? Cousin?"

She raised her chin haughtily. “Very well,
Cousin Cole
, you scoundrel. I will be civil to you, for my husband's sake. I am sure you are somehow behind this. How you ever convinced him to allow this ridiculous scheme, I shall never know."

He awarded her his heart-stopping grin. “Would you believe it was his idea?"

She sniffed. “I suppose he isn't as intelligent as I thought. It's like asking the cat to guard the fish bowl."

He grinned. “An apt metaphor.” Then he leaned closer, and her swirling senses spiraled higher. “I have been looking forward to spending this evening with you, Alicia.” He chuckled softly at the look of alarm that must have come over her face. “Fear not, I promise I will be a perfect gentleman. Your gown is exquisite. It suits you perfectly. And the jewels are a nice complement."

"Thank you.” She eyed his immaculate blue superfine and the stark white of his shirt and cravat against his tanned skin. “You look well. Dashing, as usual."

He grinned while something dangerous smoldered in the depths of his eyes. “Dance with me.” It seemed a plea rather than a command. Against her better judgment, she allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.

Armed with an arsenal to keep him talking about safe subjects, she said, “I understand you spent much of your youth at sea?"

He nodded. “I left Cambridge and joined the British Navy when I was fourteen."

"I am surprised your family let you go away to sea. Normally the eldest son is required to stay home, isn't he?"

"I often break with convention. I was angry, foolish, and craving excitement. I'm surprised my father approved. Perhaps he thought I'd do some growing up."

"Were you in many sea battles?

His face closed over. “Yes."

She paused, wondering if she should pursue this topic, but the desire to understand the man beneath the calm exterior urged her on. The dance pattern took them apart. When they were back together, she looked up at him. Very gently, she pressed, “Were you wounded?"

Tension radiated from his body. “Everyone is wounded at least once."

She suspected that he had been hurt in many ways. The ravages of war left their mark on many men. Some wore their scars on the outside where a mask must shield them, others wore their scars on the inside and masked them with a careful expression and a teasing manner.

His voice took on a lighthearted tone, but it sounded forced. “My brother Jared had a different idea. He signed on with a privateer. Fewer rules, better pay. Jared was promoted faster than I. He loved to lord it over me that my younger brother was ahead of me in rank, but since he wasn't in the Navy, I did not consider it a contest."

"Did you serve with my husband?"

"On different ships, of course, but we were in some of the same battles. I sold my commission after the war. My brother Jared is still at sea, as captain of his own ship.” His face softened as he spoke of his brother, and his tension dissolved.

The dance set ended and he led her off the floor. They sat on a sofa between two large ferns and sipped drinks Cole snatched from a passing tray.

"Tell me of your brother,” she urged. “Jared, is it?"

"I have three living brothers. Jared...” he let his breath out slowly as is trying to determine how much to divulge. “He's been living as a pirate for nearly three years. It's a role he's taken to rather well. Perhaps too well.” He glanced at her. “I'm trusting you with this family secret."

She nodded to assure him she'd never breathe a word.

He grinned at some fond memory. “He's arrogant, incorrigible, and completely without honor."

"So, in other words, you are much alike,” she interjected with a teasing smile.

He chuckled, his eyes glittering. “I see you know me well."

He began relating their antics as children. She easily pictured a younger Cole causing mayhem in his corner of the world with an adoring younger brother innocently participating in all of his exploits. With her gently probing questions, he told her of his school days and the pranks he and his classmates orchestrated. Alicia laughed until her cheeks hurt.

Putting her hands against her face, she cocked her head to the side. “What do you do when you are not frittering about the countryside, trying to tempt hapless relatives to cuckold their husbands?"

His easy laugh coaxed another smile out of her as well. “Seeing to the estate takes much time. In my free time, I ride and hunt. When I want something more vigorous, I box and fence. I am fond of horses and horse racing. I actually own several winners.” He spent the next several minutes telling her about his horseflesh, races and hopes for the future. He related the loss of his newest horse, and the injury of the jockey.

As they talked, she felt her defenses fall. She told him of her childhood and of her parents, her brother, her terrifying first season in London with the
beau monde
dowagers watching her critically.

"Alicia. And—Lord Amesbury, what are you doing here with her?"

Alicia looked up in surprise to see Catherine standing over them, virtually glittering from head to toe.

Cole shot her quizzical grin. “I was invited, I believe. And you?"

"Visiting my dear niece for her first ball. And you were supposed to come alone."

Cole smiled. “My cousin asked me to watch over his delightful wife, and I was only too happy to oblige. Lovely to see you again, Miss Sinclair. Good evening."

He stood and led Alicia away as she tried to stifle a smile. “That may be the first time anyone has ever dared cut Catherine Sinclair,” she said when they were out of earshot.

"She is a shallow, vain, conniving woman. I have had my fill of that sort. They fail to hold my interest."

"Oh? And who would hold your interest?"

"Someone who's already rejected me soundly.” He spoke wryly, but without rancor, and his smoldering gaze heated her cheeks.

The evening was a magical swirl of music, lights, dancing and Cole's beautiful blue eyes. When other men asked her to dance, he glared at them and only grudgingly stepped back to allow them to take her hand. Under his attentiveness and open looks of admiration, she blushed with pleasure and something else she did not dare identify. Light and giddy, she forgot everything but the brightness of his smile and the feel of his strong arms around her waist as they floated across the dance floor. After a mouth-watering dinner, there was more dancing.