The Stranger's Magic: The Labyrinths of Echo: Book Three (25 page)

“The sheepdogs from the Barren Lands are the largest dogs in the World. Didn’t you know?”

“I didn’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I’d better not fall out with him.” Although, looking at the dog’s good-natured mug, I couldn’t imagine I
could ever fall out with him.

“Good day, Sir Max,” said the cute triplets.

My “wives” had undergone a drastic change in these few days. The elegant looxis that had replaced their short warm jackets suited them perfectly. Only their huge eyes—all three
pairs of them—still betrayed a guarded look.

“Very good,” I said. “‘Sir Max’ sounds much better than ‘Lord Fanghaxra.’ Now, if they could just drop the ‘Sir.’”

“They think they should be polite,” said Tekki.

“With me? That’s nonsense,” I said, smiling.

I was a little shy myself, though not as shy as they were. I think Tekki knew that, judging by that playful look she gave me.

“I think you and I should take them for a short walk,” she said.

“As you wish, ma’am,” I said. “Your wish is my command. I’m just a little barbarian king. You are the ultimate truth. Like Sir Lonli-Lokli, but much more
beautiful.”

“Now we’re talking,” said Tekki. “Off you go to start up the amobiler.”

After this exchange, the triplets began looking at her as though she were an omnipotent being. I decided to level the final blow. “Everybody talks to me like this here, girls. You’re
very unfortunate. You were married off to a king with no authority. Next time, you should be more careful.”

The sisters blinked in surprise, but one of them giggled quietly, covering her mouth with her hand.

“This is Xelvi,” said Tekki. “Xeilax and Kenlex are serious ladies.”

“Well, somebody has to be. So where do you ladies want me to drop you off?”

“You don’t need to drop them off anywhere. Just show them the Old City. Then we’ll see.”

I seated the doe-eyed girls in my new amobiler and drove around the Right Bank for two hours at the lowest speed I could manage—no more than thirty miles an hour. I reasoned that the
girls’ nervous systems were still too weak for faster rides.

Tekki had the natural talent of a first-class guide. The girls listened to her raptly, their mouths agape. I recalled Juffin’s strange lecture about how Tekki was a mirror that reflected
her interlocutor and thought it would be interesting to see the four of them alone. That might be a surprising sight. I gave it another thought and decided I had had enough surprises for the time
being.

Max, are you busy now? Melifaro’s call was most timely. My new job as a school bus driver was certainly not the job of a lifetime, and I was tired already.

I am. I’m so busy you wouldn’t believe it if I told you. But if you’re hinting at dinner for you and me, then I’m free as a bird.

You’re clairvoyant. Come then. I haven’t decided where to go yet.

How about Moxi’s? I haven’t been there in a while. It’s a quiet place, not too many people.

Oh, the famous Juffin’s Dozen? That’s a great idea. See you there in fifteen minutes.

“Okay. The tour is over,” I told Tekki and the girls. “And no whining. That will get you nowhere with me. Tekki, stop trying to tear off my ear—you didn’t let me
finish! We’re going somewhere for lunch. Thank you, my dear. So nice of you to let me live.”

Mr. Moxi Faa was inimitable, as usual. He grumbled a hello, his leather looxi squeaking, sized up my female company with a stern look, gave me a reproachful look, and then slammed a heavy menu
down on the table. I thought he was fighting the temptation to smack me in the head with it. But that’s Moxi for you.

Soon Melifaro arrived. When he saw the company I was keeping, his jaw fell onto his chest with a loud crack. These are the moments that make life worth living, I thought. All the rest is
piffle.

For two minutes, Melifaro was silent. He opened his mouth, thought for a bit, then closed it again. Before this, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. He continued to be silent throughout
the entire lunch. He did drop a few words, but compared to his usual garrulous self, he was absolutely mute.

The sisters didn’t say much, either. They were still very shy, but more than that, the lunch was their first test at using tableware. I could only feel for them. Tekki watched over them
like a school-teacher. The girls turned red, then grew pale and dropped the pie tongs on the floor—just as I had done not so long ago.

As for the table talk, all credit went to Moxi. He used the opportunity to mumble a long lecture on the unique cultures of the peoples of the World whose cuisines we had just dared to sample. I
didn’t remember a single word of it, but Moxi sure did relieve the tension.

At last our social event came to an end.

“No other client has ever brought so many women with him at one time,” said Moxi, handing me the bill. “Congratulations, Sir Max, this is a record. Have a nice day and come
again.” He said it as though he was forbidding me ever to cross the threshold of Juffin’s Dozen again. But that was the zest that made Juffin’s fellow countryman the best tavern
keeper in Echo. Where else could you get excellent food and a good reprimand thrown into the bargain, and at that price?

Melifaro seemed to have forgotten that he had to go back to work. He sat in the back seat of my amobiler, crowding the triplets, who had grown very quiet. He looked befuddled—a sight to
behold.

I drove the sisters back home, and then there were just three of us. Tekki gave Melifaro a searching look and burst into laughter. I couldn’t contain myself, either.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny,” said Melifaro. But it was too late: we couldn’t stop. Then Melifaro said something that almost killed me. “Max, will you get too mad if I lure
one of your wives away from you?”

“Which one?” I said and burst out laughing again.

“I . . . don’t know,” he said. “Is there a difference?”

“Of course there is,” said Tekki. “A big difference. First you’ll have to guess which one of them stepped onto your heart.”

“Oh, that’s not a problem,” said Melifaro. “If push comes to shove, I can use some magic here. I hope the boss won’t throw his best employee in Xolomi for such a
trivial breach of the law.”

“His what employee?” I said. “I certainly hope he won’t throw you in Xolomi, either. There’s no way I’d let any of my wives have anything to do with a
criminal. So watch your step with the law.”

“Are you giving me official permission?” said Melifaro, brightening up.

“As if you need it,” I said. “Do what you want, friend. It’s your life. Issuing permission is not my area of expertise. I’m a simple barbarian king. I don’t
decide anything.”

“You’re so modest, Your Majesty,” said Melifaro.

“Yeah, kings have their quirks,” said Tekki.

I listened to them with half an ear. I had been meaning to find out whether I could drive the amobiler with my eyes closed, since this mysterious vehicle, as I had once been told, submitted to
the will of the driver. And I decided to try it now. Just like that, out of the blue.

Well, whaddya know? It worked.

Curiouser and curiouser, Alice’s voice echoed in my head. Yup, curiouser and curiouser. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

TWO

ORDINARY MAGICAL THINGS

“J
UST WALK BESIDE ME AND DON’T BE AFRAID OF ANYTHING
,” I
SAID
to Droopy.

The enormous shaggy creature was clinging to my leg—well, not exactly my leg. The dog’s size allowed it to stick its moist noise in my armpit while still standing on all fours, yet
the monster was trembling with fear. For the first time, I had decided to break the solitary existence of the honorable guard of my royal residence and take him out for a walk around Echo. The
hustle and bustle of midday Old City overwhelmed the “puppy.”

“Not exactly what you’re used to seeing in the Barren Lands, huh?” I said. “It’s not that bad, though. You can’t imagine how lucky you are that I’m not
walking you down Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.”

Alas, Droopy lacked the necessary information (and imagination, for that matter) to realize just how lucky he was. Still, he somehow managed to make his first firm step out into the heart of the
terrifying city.

As soon as Droopy climbed into the amobiler, however, things got better: he sprawled on the soft leather of the back seat, relieved, as though he had returned home after a long absence.

“I see now,” I said. “We like taking a ride, don’t we? Who would’ve thought.”

Naturally, I set off for the House by the Bridge then and there. To show off. I just had to show my wonderful dog to everyone I knew. And where else could I find the maximum concentration of
familiar faces at noon if not at the Ministry of Perfect Public Order?

My four-legged friend liked the House by the Bridge at first sight. Apparently, we saw eye-to-eye on certain matters. True, the dog first rushed to the side occupied by the City Police. I ran
after him trying to prevent an interdepartmental disaster.

Fortunately, Droopy ran into Lieutenant Apurra Blookey—the best candidate for an introduction to the neighboring organization. By the time I caught up with the dog, the two were already
hugging and sniffing each other.

“He didn’t scare you, did he, Apurra?” I said.

“Oh, no, Sir Max. How could this beautiful boy scare anyone! He’s the friendliest thing in the universe!”

“I completely agree with you, but if this behemoth had sprung out from around a corner, it sure would’ve scared the bejeezus out of me. Thank goodness it wasn’t General
Boboota, or we’d all need earplugs.”

“Indeed,” said the lieutenant. “But I love dogs. Where did you get this one? I’ve never in my life seen anything like it.”

“That’s because you’re not in the habit of spending your vacation in the Barren Lands,” I said.

“Oh, so he’s from your homeland?”

“Yes. Technically, I’m supposed to have a few hundred of these for protection—I’m not sure from what, though. Fortunately, my subjects had enough brains to bring me just
one monster.”

“On the contrary, it’s very unfortunate. Trust me, there are plenty of people in the Capital who would love to have a dog like this at any price.”

“Bah. Can’t believe how stupid I was. I could’ve sold dogs in between my shifts—better yet, during my shifts, because I’m supposed to sit on my throne in between
them. Quite an idea!”

“Certainly. It didn’t occur to me that all your time was occupied,” said Apurra.

“If you want me to, I can ask my subjects to bring another one for you. They’d be grateful if I asked them for anything at all. Until now,
I’ve only requested one thing: no more gifts. Did you know that those crazy nomads brought me three identical wives?”

“Yes, Lady Kekki Tuotli told me. She and Sir Kofa have taken the girls out to dinner a few times.”

“Right,” I said, smirking. “Sir Kofa loves taking neophytes out. So nice of him to be the girls’ guardian. I can only imagine what they’re going to turn into after
a year in his company. Well, I’m happy that you and Droopy have become friends, but now I’m going to try to drag this creature back to our side.”

“Of course,” said Lieutenant Apurra, nodding. “You know, Sir Max, if your subjects can bring another dog, I’ll be happy to take it into my care.”

“They sure can,” I said. “Remind me about it from time to time, though. My head is full of holes as it is. This will be my first stern command. After all, I’ve got to
give them commands every now and then to maintain my reputation as a tyrant.”

I grabbed Droopy by the scruff of his shaggy neck, and we marched to the side of the House by the Bridge occupied by the Secret
Investigative Force.

My colleagues had just gathered in the Hall of Common Labor for collective consumption of kamra and cookies. Even Lookfi Pence had come down from the Main Archive for this occasion. The only one
missing was Sir Kofa Yox. He must have been out lapping up fresh rumors in the city taverns, as he was supposed to do.

“Gotcha!” I said. “Gobbling down delicacies, thinking you can get away with it, huh? Thought I’d never show up? Well, you thought wrong. Here I am. And I brought a
sponger with me.”