The Strawberry Sisters (18 page)

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know about Wednesday in half-term and I was pretty sure that that meant I wasn’t invited.

‘We’re going riding,’ Ashandra explained to me. Then, seeing the look on my face, she quickly added, ‘You didn’t want to come, did you?’

I’d spent enough time talking to Suvi now to know that it’s not a good idea to do something that you don’t like just to please other people. Especially when it seemed like they
wouldn’t even be that thrilled to have you there anyway.

‘No,’ I said. ‘I don’t think riding is really my thing.’

‘That’s what we thought,’ Kayleigh said.

Which should have been fine. It should have been brilliant that finally they were getting along. But somehow I didn’t feel too good. So far, them getting on didn’t seem to mean we
were doing things together: it meant I was feeling left out.

Our head teacher got up on a temporary platform made out of those big stage blocks and the hall fell silent. First, she said how delighted she was to see so many parents and then she told us how
lucky we were to have enjoyed such a great range of activities. After that, we watched displays of some of the different activities: morris dancing, tae kwon do and gamelan music. I was glad our
tutor group hadn’t been chosen to display anything.

To finish it all off we had three different songs from the Year Nines. Amelia’s was last. When she got up on the stage, my heart started beating really hard. I hoped that her voice
wouldn’t crack and she wouldn’t drop the microphone. It was the song that she had written. Chloe was right: it was all about harmony between countries; they must have been told to make
it about that stuff because usually Amelia prefers to sing about things dying, but it was really good. Amelia sang the verses and the rest of her class joined in with the chorus. You could see
people in the audience swaying; it was an excellent song. They got a very big cheer at the end. I saw Amelia’s eyes catch on someone and when I turned to see who it was I spotted my dad in
the second row of parents. He was standing up and clapping. He’s got a very loud cheer.

He’d come! Surely Amelia would forgive him now? I hoped he’d forgiven me for shouting at him.

Finally, the head got to the art competition; she rambled on a bit, but I hardly heard that part.

‘In third place we have 8NM with Finland.’

A giant whoop went up behind us. I didn’t need to turn round to know that it was Chloe.

‘In second place . . .’

I turned to look at Ashandra and Kayleigh; they were gripping each other’s hands tight.

‘. . . 8RP with Spain.’

More shouting and clapping. Either we’d won or we hadn’t come anywhere at all. I touched Ash’s arm, but she didn’t notice.

‘And the winners are . . . 7CE with their striking representation of China.’

We’d won! All around me, our whole class were squealing and cheering. I turned to Ash and Kay. They were locked in a fierce hug.

‘We’re the winners!’ Alenka said to me and she held up her hand for a high five.

‘It’s brilliant,’ I said, smacking her hand.

But actually I didn’t feel very brilliantish.

The head did a bit more telling us how talented and lucky we all were and then it was time to go home.

Dad was waiting for us at the gates.

Chloe beamed when she saw him. ‘Did you see my panel? What did you think of the midnight sun? I did that.’

I thought that Amelia might run into Dad’s arms when she saw him, like they do in films. She didn’t. Instead, she said, ‘Hi,’ like people do in real life. It wasn’t
even a very excited ‘hi’.

Dad took us to the café over the road to have cakes. Amelia waited till he’d brought the tray over and sat down.

‘You can’t just sort everything out by managing to turn up for once in your life,’ she told him.

I put down my cake. I didn’t want to hear any more fighting.

But Dad didn’t shout; he just nodded.

‘That would be like me expecting you to forget about me being rude to you and Suvi for over a year just because I said sorry,’ Amelia said, staring at her hands.

‘Amelia, I am going to forget about that because I understand that you’ve been angry. And you don’t have to forgive me, although it would make me very happy if you
did.’

Amelia didn’t say anything.

Dad took a deep breath. ‘I’ve spoken to your mother and it’s become abundantly clear that I should have done more to help you all adjust to how things have changed. I’m
really, really sorry that I’ve let you all down.’

He looked at me. It seemed like he really was sorry.

Amelia still didn’t answer.

‘I want you to know that it doesn’t matter how mad you get at me. I will always be your dad and I will always love you.’

He didn’t mind that I’d said those mean things. I let out a long breath. I felt better than I had done all day.

But Amelia wasn’t convinced. ‘If you love us so much, why do you spend so much time at work?’

Dad rubbed at his forehead. ‘I know it doesn’t make any sense to you, but I work so hard because of you, because of my family.’

‘Do you mean money?’ Chloe asked. ‘Because presents and stuff are cool, but we like it when you’re home.’

‘I know that and we have time together most weekends, don’t we?’

Maybe he really didn’t realise how much time he was spending in his study or that when he was with us it wasn’t doing things we wanted to do.

Amelia raised her eyebrows.

‘Well, perhaps not enough.’ Dad fiddled with a teaspoon. ‘I just want to make sure you’ve all got security.’

I remember what Mum said. ‘Is it something to do with when you were younger?’ I asked.

Dad sighed. ‘Yes, yes, I guess that’s where this all started. When I was your age, Ella, my dad lost his job. For a long time after that, we didn’t have any money for luxuries;
sometimes we didn’t even have the money for basics.’

I didn’t know that. I knew that my dad’s family weren’t very well off and sometimes he said, ‘When I was a boy, we never had any of this,’ but I hadn’t
realised that they were properly poor.

‘That’s sad,’ Chloe said.

‘It was tough, but it made me very determined. I knew that I was going to work hard at school and that I was going to do well so that I could give my family anything they
wanted.’

Amelia looked right into Dad’s eyes. ‘We want you.’

Dad blinked. ‘I’ve been a bit of an idiot, haven’t I? It’s taken me a long time, too long, to realise what you really need, but from now on I’m going to be here for
you. All of you.’

‘Really?’ Amelia asked, not in a bored, sarcastic, I-don’t-believe-you way, but in a hopeful, wanting way.

‘I’m going to make some changes. No more overtime. And no more pushing my hobbies on you all.’

Chloe threw her arms round Dad.

Amelia just said, ‘Good.’

But I think she meant it as much as the hug.

Dad drove us home.

‘How did you even know I was singing?’ Amelia asked.

‘Chloe told me.’

‘Chloe?’ Amelia swivelled round in her seat to look at Chloe, but she had her earphones plugged in and was digging about in the bottom of her bag for loose Skittles.

‘Yes,’ Dad said. ‘Not only did she tell me that you were singing a solo, she also said that if I didn’t come and watch you she would put Buttercup’s droppings in my
muesli.’

I was sitting right behind Amelia so I couldn’t guess what she thought about that by the back of her head, but I could tell she was thinking.

I was so happy that Amelia had made up with Dad and that he seemed to have forgiven me, and that Ashandra and Kayleigh were getting on better than they had done all term. But somehow my insides
felt grindy and I had to go and lie on my bed to try and think of bright sides, but my head was too scrambly so I just lay with my eyes closed instead.

After a while, I heard Mum and Lucy come in. Chloe and Amelia were talking loudly and I guessed they were telling her about this afternoon. Then I heard Mum’s footsteps coming up the
stairs and into my room. I don’t have to think of bright sides about my mum. That’s how good she is. One of her best good bits is that she knows how you’re feeling. Sometimes she
even knows how you’re feeling before you do.

She came and sat on my bed.

‘Did you hear about Dad and Amelia?’ I asked.

She nodded. ‘I’m glad they’ve worked things out. And I hear he’s going to stop working so much when he’s at home. That means you’ll see more of
him.’

I nodded a bit.

‘How was International Day?’ she asked.

‘We won the art competition.’

‘That’s brilliant! Ashandra and Kayleigh must have been really pleased. Are they still getting on?’

‘Yep. Really well. They hugged a lot when we won. It’s really good.’

She put a cool hand on my forehead. ‘Are you all playing together?’

I didn’t explain to Mum that you’re not supposed to do playing at secondary school.

‘They’re going riding together at half-term.’

‘You’re not so keen on riding, are you?’

I shook my head.

‘Do you mind if they go without you?’

‘Not really.’

‘But . . .?’

‘I don’t mind them going riding because I don’t really want to do that, but they have been talking about horses a lot and they sit together in maths and they went out for pizza
and they’re both really nice so obviously they would like each other, and I wanted them to get on so much, so I should feel happy . . . But I feel a tiny bit left out.’

Mum smoothed my hair back off my face. ‘I can understand that. When there are three people, sometimes it’s hard to work out how you fit together.’

‘I do want them to be friends.’

‘I know. And I think they probably don’t realise that you’re feeling left out. Why don’t you tell Kayleigh and Ashandra?’

‘They might be cross. And it might start an argument.’

‘I don’t think they’d be cross.’

‘They would. They’d say, “Don’t you want us to be friends?” and “You’re the one who said we should spend time together.” And then there’d be
a big argument.’

She was watching me. ‘And you wouldn’t like that?’

‘Nobody likes arguments. Except Lucy. And she only likes them when she wins them. Or if someone else is having them and she gets to watch one of the someones bash the other someone over
the head.’

‘Arguments can be horrible, but once people have said what they think then hopefully it can all be sorted out.’

I pushed myself into a sitting position. ‘That’s not what happens in an argument!’

‘No?’

‘No. People get upset. Very upset and things are broken and in the end it all finishes and you’re not friends any more.’

‘I think that’s a bit drastic.’

‘That’s what happened with you and Dad.’

Mum’s pulled her head back in surprise. ‘Ella . . . It’s important to tell people how you feel. Talking about your feelings doesn’t have to lead to an argument and, even
if it does, an argument doesn’t mean the end of a friendship.’

‘But you and Dad . . .’

‘Dad and I stopped getting along. Stopped enjoying spending time together. Stopped wanting the same things. That’s why we’re not married any more. At the time, when things were
going wrong, the best thing we did was talk to each other about how we felt. Because it helped us understand each other. I think it would be much harder for a relationship to end without
understanding why.’

‘But I don’t want things to end with Kayleigh and Ashandra.’

‘Getting divorced was the answer that Dad and I got to. You and Kayleigh and Ashandra aren’t me and your father.’

‘Maybe I’m just being selfish.’

‘Do you want them to stop riding together?’

‘No, I don’t mind that.’

‘But you’d rather that they didn’t talk horses non-stop when they’re with you?’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s not selfish; that’s a completely reasonable request.’

‘I suppose so.’

‘You can’t go on pretending not to be unhappy. It’ll make you even more unhappy. You’ll be so unhappy that you’ll burst. I’ll get covered in Ella
gloop.’

I almost managed a laugh. ‘I guess I could talk to them.’

‘I think that’s a really good idea.’

She slipped an arm round me. ‘I’m wondering if Ashandra and Kayleigh aren’t the only ones that you’ve been trying really hard to please.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Dad told Amelia that he’d love her no matter what, didn’t he?’

‘Yes.’

‘That goes for you too. You don’t have to do anything special; you don’t have to be the good one or the nice one; he’ll love you anyway. And if you talk to him about your
feelings he’s not going to go away.’

I didn’t know what to say to that.

She squeezed me. ‘I hid the last of the fairy cakes in the washing machine. Do you want one?’

I followed her downstairs. My mum is magic. Not only does she know exactly what I’m thinking, she’s also smart enough to think of the only place in the house that Chloe would never
dream of looking for cake.

Amelia surprised everybody by making dinner. It was a proper one with vegetables and everything. When Lucy came out of the Pit and upstairs to the table, she wouldn’t eat
anything until someone else had tried it, but everything actually tasted really good.