The Student (4 page)

He
took it
and skimmed the paper before bringing his eyes back to mine. “An interesting topic, Cassandra.” He paused. “That’s all you wanted to talk to me about?”

I gave him a quick nod of the head.

He
twisted his lips to one side, not convinced. "
You didn’t come here to talk about something else?
"

"Don't flatter yourself.
Last night was the result of one too many shots, nothing
more." I ignored his warm
,
flirtatious smile,
turn
ing toward the door.
"I just came here to turn this in and now I'm leaving."

"I don't buy it." His deep voice lassoed me
back in. He was doing the ‘thing’—
the
low, gravelly emphasis
that turned every s
quare inch of me into raw nerve endings
.
A trembling, throbbing mess.
"You could have emailed me the word doc
ument
. It would have taken less than five minutes and if just being around me brings you such physical pain, it would have been the logical course of action."

I di
dn't turn back to face him.
I couldn't let him think he had a point.

"I
nstead, you decided to
come to my office and hand it to me i
n person." His chair creaked and I had a sinking feeling he was moving toward me. "You came here because you wanted to see me.
Because of last night."

He was closing in
. Close enough that my body betrayed
my true motives
. I could hear every husky b
reath rippling
over my skin
. My heart boom boomed in my chest and my voice trembled. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh huh."
He let out a low chuckle. "You can't even look at me, Cass."

"Shut up," I hissed weakly
. "I'm not going to stand here and do this." I moved
closer
to the door, twisting the knob and pulling it open, but my escape was short lived becaus
e he was a step ahead of me. He reached around me and
pushed it closed
with a firm hand
.

"You can't keep me here." I
finally
spun to face him. "I want to leave, Chance."

I expected some sarcastic retort but instead, the hand pressed against the door slackened and his face was awash with emotion. Regret.
Guilt.
Sadness.
"Say it again."

I felt like a balloon caught in the breeze, untethered and b
opping about. Just when I got u
sed to things and knew what to expect
the wind changed
.
"S-say
what
again
?"

The emotions hardened as did his arm. He stepped closer, essentially pinning me in place. "Say my name."

I hitched a breath as I realized that our bodies still fit so well together; clicking, moving, breathing like three years were no more than three m
inutes. I felt his name on my tongue, writhing and alive
. But there was no remembering the bliss without remembering the pain.

I steeled myself and looked him square in the face.
“I
can't say your
name without thinking of hers.”

"God damn it, Cass," Hi
s voice
was
rough with frustration. "I ma
de a mistake. I have no excuses but-
"

"Good," I interjected stubbornly. "Because no excuse could explain away what you did."

We glared at each other, jaws squared, teeth clenched.
With the battle lines drawn and neither of us budging,
I couldn't help but catapult back to that night
three years ago
.

I'd spent most of it holed up in the library, futilely attempting to do homework until the words in the textbook swam
and blurred. It had been almost a month
since Chance sat me down after saying four words that made my h
eart stutter in my chest. He didn't want to break
up, but his confession was just as dumbfounding. After a lot of 'soul searching', he thought
he was a Dominant and wanted
to explore the
bdsm
lifestyle.

Since his confession, my days were
filled with
Google searches and scouring Wikipedia. How could
Chance
, a dark
,
brooding,
progressive
man,
get o
f
f on inflicting pain on someone he claimed he loved?

I still wasn’t sure what was different about that night, what made it different from all the other nights and led to me being ready to answer his question.
Maybe it was the hours of studying, turning
words into a blur
of smudged black and blue
that gave me the push. All I knew was t
he only thing that w
as clear was that I loved him—an
d if this was a part of him, I'd try to love it t
oo.

I decided to surprise him at his apartment and tell
him I was ready to explore, but
I was the one who got a surprise
…some woman on
her knees in front of my boyfriend.

I felt th
e tears latching to my words as I came back to now, face to face with someone that still had the ability to reduce me to a bumbling mess.
"I need to leave."

He let out a weary sigh, but
still didn't
move. "I should let you leave. But I-
" He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up so it hung in unruly tufts around his painfully attractive face. "I
know I
should let you go, Cassandra."

I swallowed the rock at the back of my throat but it just expanded, choking
any rebuttal or fight.
I wanted to hear him out.

"I've tried to let you go," he said quietly. "I even put an ocean bet
ween us. But it didn't matter. E
veryw
here I went, I saw you." He
reached toward me,
his hand hesitating
a few inches
from
my che
ek before he
cupped it. When I didn't shirk away from
the intimate gesture, he moved his other hand from the door and held
my face
gently, strumming
his thumb up and down
my jawline
like he used to.

"You know me," he said afte
r
a minute. "I did
n't b
elieve in regrets or do-overs—n
ot before that
night. But h
urting you is the biggest regret of my life, Cass. I'd give anything to do
it
all
over
."

I should tell
him to go to hell and walk away.
Revenge was too hard, hate so
powerful an emotion that it would surely lead to something else. B
ut I couldn't pull away. Not when he was finally holding me and it
felt as right, as serendipitous
as before.

So I tilted my chin up. H
is eyes scanned mine, asking a silent question.

I parted my lips. "Okay
."

He threaded his fingers through my hair
and this time, I pressed my lips to his
.

Time stood still then slowly rocked to motion.
I
t was our first date
all over again.
I
was back on the stoop in front of Ledford Dorm,
dripping
wet because
I forgot my umbrella. H
e was
just as soggy, letting out a laugh that was contagious as
I threw my arms arou
nd his neck and gave him the kiss that started it all.

I clasped him to me,
groaning with need as his tongue moved aga
inst mine
. My fingers dropped to his fly,
wanting
to free him, wanting him to take me right up against the door, but he slowed, breaking away slightly.

I
was huffing, flush with need a
nd impatience. "I want you." I b
rought up the hem of my
dress and trembled when he drank me in nice and slow.

He pried his eyes away and I saw his hazel opals were
colored with
worry. "I want you too...Jesus Christ I
want
you, Cass."

"Then take me."

"The needs
I had before
remain the same,” he explained. “
Hell, they’re
even stronger now." He leaned in until our
foreheads met
and I could see the gears working overtime. I knew what he needed
, what he was asking of me.

"I know I have no right to ask it of you--"

"Yes," I interrupted, shedding my skirt. My blouse was next, up and over and tossed to the side.
His request reminded me of why I came here in the first place.
And damn if I didn’t
I want
to find out if this
bdsm
thing was worth him giving us up.

"Dear God Cass," he m
urmured thickly as he stared at me in nothing but my lace bra and panties. "You're
more beautiful than I remember."  I saw the thick curve of his member
tugging
against its denim prison. But he was still hesitant. "Are you
really
ready to submit to me?"

All those Google image searches came back and it was like riding a bike. I dropped to
my knees, hands behind my back. I gazed up at him, putting aside everything else.
Putting aside the niggling truth that hovered just past the consuming arousal.
What I was about to do would send me down a path—and there’d be no going back.

My words rang out as clear as a bell. "I'm ready."

***
*

Chance clicked his
mouse and classical music streamed
from his computer speakers. The whine of
the violins and quiet strums of
harps should have relaxed me, but considering he'd just locked his office
door
, I was even more on edge. The lo
cked door was for security, but I had a feeling the music was for more than setting the mood.

"Relax, Cassandra," he said soothingly.

I gave him a look. "I am relaxed."

"
Y
ou look like you're expecting me to pull a whip out o
f my desk
."

I did relax then, taking in t
wo deep breaths and letting the
m out slow. "So what
are
you going to do with me?"

He pulled his chair until he was a few feet from me and sat down. "As much as I want to just bend you over that desk and..." He left it unsaid but the sound he made in the back of his throat stoked the warmth in the pit of my stomach.
"W
hat we're going to share together is on a whole other level, Cass. And I want that connection with you.
But
I want to do it right this time."

I dug my nails into my palm to
fight the part of me that wanted to believe every word he said but no amount of pain I inflicted on myself could dull the fact that I was still
enthralled by him.

"I'm not expecting yo
u to be the perfect submissive,” he continued. “That
is something that takes time. There's no
bdsm
crash course--but there are a few universal rules.
The first-
"

"Anything you want," I cut in quickly. "You're in cha
rge.

His eyes glimmered with distaste. "Well what I want is for you to stay quiet unless I ask for your respons
e. And you will address me as 'S
ir'
unless told otherwise
.
”

Not Master of My L
iege?
I thought sarcastically. But I kept quiet.

"The cardi
nal rule is that when we're in this
mental and physical
space
,
I have total control. You follow my commands without question."

Again I had to hold my tongue. I expected a third r
ule, but he just rose to his feet, stopping
a few inches from me. His erection was raging, practically at eye level, but his voice was smooth and controlled.