The Summer Cottage (27 page)

“No trouble,” said Claire, making eye contact with her oldest daughter across the net.

Thomas looked at his watch. They had been playing for just fifteen minutes, and things were already heating up. Family doubles often meant family trouble, and this match would be no exception.

C
HAPTER
33

 

H
elen, Pammy, Charlotte, and Barb sat in beach chairs on the sand. Todd and Ned had taken Sally and Peter to the shallow end of the beach, where the bottom was sandy. There, they could swim without walking through eelgrass and collect hermit crabs and smooth stones. Charles and Thomas were playing golf, and Claire was taking a nap. Daniel, who had gone for a run at the state beach, returned, sweating and smiling. “Hi,” he said, sitting down on the sand next to Charlotte and removing his running shoes.

“Hi,” said Charlotte, not looking up from the August
Cosmopolitan
that sat open on her lap.

“How was your run?” asked Pammy, sucking in her abdomen.

“Great!” Daniel winked at her. “Who wants to go for a swim?”

“Pammy,” said Charlotte at the same time as Pammy said, “Me.” Pammy looked at her older sister, who flashed an insincere smile at her. Pammy slowly lifted herself out of her beach chair. She and Daniel walked together to the water’s edge, where Daniel hesitated for just a moment before taking three long strides into the water and diving below its surface. Pammy walked in up to her waist and then dunked herself up to her shoulders. She quickly swam the ten yards to Daniel, who was treading water waiting for her. They swam out past the raft to the large rock behind it, and then climbed through the seaweed, chased away the seagulls, and sat down to talk.

“Charlotte knows something,” said Pammy, catching her breath.

“She knows we enjoy each other’s company,” said Daniel.

“You don’t think she suspects anything?”

“She hasn’t said anything.”

Pammy shook her head from side to side, releasing water from her ears. “That means nothing.”

“Not necessarily,” said Daniel. “She’s pretty straightforward with her opinion when she’s got one. She comes right out with it.”

“Well, she’s giving me all sorts of looks,” said Pammy, “and I don’t like it.”

“You made your own bed, Pammy.”

“I didn’t make it alone.”

“No, you didn’t.” Daniel took her hand and gently squeezed her fingers.

“Do you love her, Daniel?”

“Charlotte?”

“Yes.” Pammy focused all of her attention on his eyes, on what they would communicate to her next.

Daniel ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. “As much as one can love Charlotte, yes.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that Charlotte is difficult to love.”

“Why?”

“Pammy, she’s your sister.”

“Yes, but I don’t know her very well.”

“Exactly,” said Daniel, lifting his face to the sun and closing his eyes. “I don’t think anyone knows her very well.”

“So what about her do you love then?”

“I love the Charlotte who loves a good time and is willing to take chances.”

“And that’s enough?”

“I don’t know,” said Daniel, opening his eyes and again looking at Pammy. “I seem to have a deeper understanding with you.”

Pammy smiled at him. “Do you love me?”

“I love many of your qualities.” Daniel covered her hand with his.

“That’s good enough, I guess. It’s only been a few days.”

“And I especially love your ass.” Pammy laughed. “When can we be alone again?” Daniel ran his hand up and down her thigh.

“Maybe tonight,” said Pammy. “Maybe we can sneak out tonight.”

“I’ll think about you all day.”

“You do that,” said Pammy. The two sat for another minute or so before Pammy stood. “We’d better head in.”

Daniel stood next to her, putting his arm around Pammy’s waist and pulling her close to him. She put her hands on his chest, in a weak attempt to stop herself from holding him. The rock was a good distance from shore, but not far enough. Pammy could see her sisters on the beach and knew, of course, that they could see her. Daniel released Pammy and dove into the water, breaking the calm surface. Pammy followed him in and then swam next to him in silence. She was resolved to meet him that night, to make love to him, to make him hers. She didn’t care about her sister. This relationship meant nothing to Charlotte. Even if it did, she had always been able to recover from a loss as quickly as it had occurred. Charlotte didn’t love him, Pammy thought as she swam, at least not the way Pammy did.

On shore, Daniel and Pammy toweled off. Helen looked up from her magazine. “How was your swim?”

“Great,” said Daniel. “I love a good swim after a run. That’s why the Bay Area is so perfect for me. I can run on the beach and then take a dip right afterward.”

“Isn’t the water freezing?” asked Helen.

“It’s a very quick dip.” Daniel grinned.

“Personally, I love a good swim after a good romp,” said Charlotte. Daniel laughed. Pammy frowned. “Don’t pout, Pammy,” she said. “It doesn’t become you.”

“I wasn’t pouting,” said Pammy, sitting down in her chair. “I was thinking.”

“Share your thoughts with all of us,” said Charlotte, putting down her magazine.

“I’d love to hear them,” said Daniel, “but I’m going to head to the other end of the beach. I can’t believe the size of the sandcastle they’ve made down there. This one definitely trumps their other creation. Todd and Ned are unbelievable camp counselors.”

They watched Daniel run down the beach. “I’m just dying for one of Daniel’s back rubs,” said Charlotte, looking at Pammy. “I’m as tense as an old virgin.”

“Shut up, Charlotte,” said Pammy. “You’ve got an aching back from hauling around those wrecking balls welded to your chest.”

“Oh, here we go,” said Charlotte. “It’s not enough for you to steal my boyfriend, you have to make fun of me too? You’re just such a special sister, Pammy.” Pammy had no ready response to her sister’s accusations and looked at her blankly. “Come on, Pammy. You think I don’t know? You think you can sneak around with Daniel, making a horse’s ass of yourself, and no one will notice? Maybe Peter and Sally don’t know, but they’re the only ones.”

“Stop it,” said Helen, sitting up in her chair. “Just stop it.”

“No, I’m not going to stop it, Saint Helen. If sweet Pammy were sleeping with your husband, would you stop it?”

Barb got up from her chair. “I’m going down to the end of the beach to see that sandcastle,” she announced.

“Daniel’s not your husband,” Helen found herself saying before she could stop herself.

“Well, no, he’s not, Helen. But you know and I know and Pammy knows that what she did and is doing is wrong. If you can see that and still side with her, then you’re not much better than she is.”

“I don’t really care,” said Helen. “I’m sick to death of Daniel. Anyone who bilks one sister for her condominium, car, and ATM card, and seduces another sister at a family reunion weekend is disgusting. The kid’s a common swindler, who has both of you thinking he’s the last available man on earth.” Pammy and Charlotte were silent.

“He’s a diversion,” Charlotte finally said.

“From what?” asked Helen. “From your miserable, wealthy life? Yes, you’ve had relationships that haven’t worked out and you haven’t been able to have children, and I’m sorry for that. I truly am. But dating children won’t make up for not having them. Get into a relationship with a good man and adopt a child for God’s sake.”

“It’s not that easy,” said Pammy. “You
have
a good man. You don’t know what it’s like to be without one.”

“You’re right,” said Helen. “I do have a good man, but that doesn’t exempt me from empathy.”

“It does exempt you from the loneliness of being single.” Pammy dug her toes into the sand.

“Then change that, Pammy. Spend more time with your friends. Find a new challenge at work. Donate your time to a charity or something that matters to you. But for God’s sake, stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Aren’t you full of advice,” said Charlotte, with a smirk. “You should start your own column, Helen dear.”

“I’m just getting started,” said Helen. Her heart was racing. She knew she should shut her mouth, that she had already gone too far, but she continued, focusing her gaze on her oldest sister. “Stop trying to look like an eighteen-year-old and start acting like the forty-seven-year-old woman you are. You make a spectacle of yourself with your cartoon breasts and string bikinis. Let go of your need to be in the spotlight. Let someone else have a chance. Believe me, you can learn a lot from the backseat.”

“Ah, but you’ve never been in the backseat, have you, Helen?” said Charlotte. “You’ve always been front row, center.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Sure you do, favored one,” said Charlotte.

“That’s not true,” said Helen, knowing better.

“Of course it’s true,” said Pammy. “You wonder why I don’t come out to see you and the Queen, when all I get is disappointed looks from both of you.”

“Helen could have her own travel company,” said Charlotte. “Street Guilt Trips.” Helen shifted in her beach chair, looked out at the water. “Do you ever get tired of always being right?”

“I’m not always right,” said Helen, mildly defiant.

“That’s right,” said Pammy. “So quit pretending that you are. We’ll give you the Medal of Honor, if you’d like, for taking care of Mom. But you’re going to have to admit that it’s not that hard, and you enjoy doing it. Plus, you certainly must enjoy Mom’s company because you’re just like her.”

Helen looked at Charlotte. “Bingo,” she said. “Nicely worded, Pammy.” Helen started to get up from her chair. “Sit down, for God’s sake, Helen. This is not the end of the world here. You were giving us a bunch of shit, and we gave some back. That’s what sisters do, right?”

Helen sat. “I didn’t realize I was such an asshole.”

“Most assholes don’t,” said Pammy.

After a few seconds, Helen laughed out loud. “Okay,” she said. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole.”

“And I’m sorry, too, Charlotte,” said Pammy, softly. “What I’ve been doing is inexcusable. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“That’s easy,” said Charlotte. “You’re not getting enough sex.” Helen laughed again. “I don’t care,” Charlotte said. “While you shouldn’t have been hitting on my boyfriend in front of me, I don’t really care. He’s a child, Pammy. He’s not for me, and he’s not for you. And, if I really loved Daniel I wouldn’t have had sex with Steve Johanson last night.”

“What?!” Pammy and Helen said together.

“And he’s still a good lay.”

“You,” said Helen, shaking her head, “are the one and only, Charlotte.”

“Speaking of one and onlys,” Pammy said. “Here he comes.”

Charlotte turned her head and saw Steve walking toward them on the sand. Just as she smiled and waved, Pammy and Helen stood and started walking in the opposite direction. “Where are you going?” Charlotte asked.

“To see the sandcastle,” said Helen, who winked at her oldest sister.

Charlotte turned her attention back to Steve, who arrived several moments after Pammy and Helen departed. She grinned at him. “We were just talking about you.”

Helen and Pammy continued down the beach. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk,” said Helen.

Pammy put her hand on her younger sister’s shoulder. “You’re not really a jerk, Helen. Whatever you do, you do with very good intentions.”

“Yeah, but you know what they say about good intentions.” Pammy shrugged. “So,” Helen began again, “what are we going to do about you?”

“I don’t know,” said Pammy. “I have feelings for him, Helen.”

“What kind of feelings? Are you in love with him or with the idea of loving him?”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you think you’re in love because Daniel’s young and handsome and flatters you with his attention. What I think you’re forgetting is that he probably runs through this routine with every woman he meets. Hell, Pammy, he’s blown a few kisses at me. He’s an operator, Pammy. Charlotte doesn’t care because she’s an operator, too. She can get what she wants out of a relationship and ignore the rest. You’re not like that.”

“I don’t know what I’m like,” said Pammy. “I guess I know Daniel probably comes on to every woman he meets, but I can’t help feeling good when he comes on to me. Men don’t pay the kind of attention to me that they do to Charlotte.”

“You don’t demand the attention Charlotte does.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want it.”

“We all want attention,” said Helen. “We all need it.”

“Then how can I get it? At forty-three years old, how am I going to get a man’s attention, his affection?”

“By being yourself.”

“God, you sound like Dad, Helen.”

“And he was usually right on the nose.”

“I don’t know,” said Pammy. “I’ve been myself for forty-three years, and I’m doing it alone.”

“It’s okay to be alone, Pammy.”

“But I don’t want to be alone.” They walked a few steps without talking.