The Summer Garden (10 page)

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked,” Nell said. “I hope you’re hungry. I’ve made chicken and dumplings. It’s Luke’s favorite. I spoke to him earlier. He’ll be over as soon as he can get away from the pub.” She gave Moira an expectant look. “Would you like me to teach you the recipe?”

Moira saw Nell’s strategy. She was trying to guess whether Moira would have a need for knowing Luke’s favorite foods.

“I’m always eager to learn a new recipe. I can try it out on the customers at McDonough’s when I get back home.”

Nell frowned at that. “Or you could try it out on the customers at O’Briens right here in Chesapeake Shores,” she suggested.

Moira immediately shook her head. “This is Luke’s business venture. I’m not a real part of it.”

“That’s not how it seemed to me earlier today. He was taking your advice on the music to heart, and he listened to you when you told him he should serve on different dishes.”

“That suggestion came from you as well,” Moira said. “And we all agreed on the best band.”

Obviously sensing that Moira was vaguely out of sorts, Nell pointed to the table. “Sit.”

“I was thinking of a shower before dinner,” Moira protested.

“And you’ll have time for it. First, I want to understand what’s made you feel as if you’re an outsider. Did you and Luke argue this afternoon? I had the impression when you came in that quite the opposite was the case.”

Filled with reluctance, Moira sat as she’d been told to do. She knew her grandfather would consider it rude to do otherwise, even though she truly didn’t want to have this conversation with Luke’s grandmother.

Nell poured her a cup of tea, then offered Moira cookies. “Conversation goes best with something sweet, I think,” she said.

Moira accepted an oatmeal raisin cookie, then proceeded to reduce it to crumbs on the napkin in front of her. Nell gave her an amused look.

“It works better if you actually eat it,” she commented.

Moira glanced at the pile of crumbs, winced and then tried to force a smile. “Sorry.”

“What did Luke do or say that upset you?”

Moira regarded her with surprise. “You think he’s at fault?”

“My grandson is a wonderful young man. He has many fine qualities. Sensitivity is not always among them. He can be careless with feelings, though it’s always unintentional. He cares for you, Moira. I know he does.”

“I know it as well,” she admitted. “I’m just not sure it’s enough.”

“Enough for what? A future?”

Moira nodded. “He was very clear earlier that he’s already anticipating the end of my visit.”

Nell looked dubious. “Really? Or was he only being realistic about the fact that you came for a monthlong vacation and hold a return ticket home? That’s not quite the same thing, is it?”

Moira thought about the distinction, then nodded slowly. “The latter probably.” She sighed. “I never realized how hard it would be to figure out how to blend two lives when the people come from places that are far apart. Who gets to decide?”

“The decision has to be mutual,” Nell said at once. “Did you have some idea that Luke would move to Dublin?”

“No. I’ve known from the beginning that his heart is here. And, to be honest, I had no real ties there myself, but then, right before I left, this opportunity came along. The part of me that’s never had any real sense of what I might accomplish wants to go back and see how things turn out.”

“That’s fair enough,” Nell said. “You’re talking about your photography, of course. Dillon’s told me about it. I’d love to see some of the pictures you’ve taken. I assume you brought your camera along for this trip.”

Moira nodded, thinking of it packed away in her room. She’d been half-afraid to take it out. What if she took photos here and they were terrible? What if they were proof that those back home had been flukes? She’d be embarrassed in front of people she wanted desperately to impress.

Nell regarded her with understanding, almost as if she’d been inside Moira’s head. “Have you taken any pictures here yet?”

“No.”

“Is there a reason for that?” Nell prodded.

Moira thought about it some more before answering. Had she been afraid that here, among all these successful people, her photos would seem amateurish, that the O’Briens would look on her picture-taking as a hobby and nothing more? The idea was ridiculous, really. The O’Briens might be boisterous and outspoken, but they were never cruel. Just look at how they were encouraging Luke in his new venture!

“I think I didn’t want my confidence shaken,” she admitted eventually. “This idea is still new to me.”

“Do I understand correctly that you want to take pictures of weddings, baby showers and things like that?” Nell asked.

Moira nodded.

“Then you’ll need to get used to people’s reactions, won’t you? Art—and it is art you’ll be doing—is subjective.” She patted Moira’s hand. “Get your camera out of your bag and start taking pictures whenever you’ve the chance. I think you should plan to be the official photographer for the pub’s opening as well.”

Though she loved the idea of capturing that night’s festivities for Luke, Moira wondered if it was wise. Wouldn’t it be yet another reminder that she had a life back home to return to? How were they supposed to figure out a future for themselves, if it seemed as if it had already been decided that they’d live apart?

Nell studied her with an understanding expression. “Do you know what I’ve told my sons and now my grandchildren? If there’s something in their life they’re passionate about, and someone in their life who truly matters, they need to find a way to balance the two. You and Luke will find a way to do that. I believe that with all my heart.”

“But is it selfish to want something so much, when I haven’t even taken a serious try at it? What if I go back to Dublin and Luke forgets all about me, and it turns out I’m a failure as a photographer?”

Nell smiled. “Then you’ll learn from the experiences,” she said. “At your age, few have taken a serious try at anything. That doesn’t mean they don’t know it’s what they’re meant to do. The secret to finding balance once two people are involved is compromise.”

“I don’t think I’d be very good at it,” Moira admitted, thinking of how often she argued just for the sake of winning, even when the point of it had gotten lost.

“Few of us are,” Nell replied, clearly amused. “Especially in my family. But I’m here to tell you that not only is compromise necessary, the results are worth it.”

Just then Moira’s grandfather wandered in, looking refreshed from another walk on the beach. “The two of you look entirely too serious,” he commented as he snatched a cookie from the plate with a wink at Nell. “Everything okay?”

“Just explaining to Moira the importance of compromise,” Nell told him.

Her grandfather chuckled. “I’ve worked a lifetime to get the knack of that,” he said. “Did Nell tell you it doesn’t come naturally?”

“She did,” Moira said. “Do you think I’ve the personality for it?”

“A few months ago I would have laughed myself silly at the thought of it,” he admitted, then gave her an approving look that warmed her. “Now I think you’ve the wisdom to give it a try, especially if the end result is to be something that truly matters to you. Is that the case?”

Moira thought of Luke and the future that might be possible if they could only find their way to it together. “It’s worth everything,” she said quietly.

“Well, then, there’s your answer.”

She bounced up and gave both of them hugs. “I’ll have that shower now, and then come back to learn your chicken and dumplings recipe, if that’s okay, Nell?”

“I’ll be right here waiting,” Nell promised.

As Moira headed to her guest room, she thought about what had just happened. She’d had a mature conversation with two so-called authority figures without losing her cool. She’d felt accepted rather than judged, persuaded rather than lectured. It was a revelation that had her laughing.

Who would have thought it would take a trip to America to make her see that not all authority figures, whether parents or even grandparents, were the enemy? Sometimes they actually had opinions to offer and experience that made complete sense of things. She wondered if she and her mum would ever reach the same level of understanding. For the first time, she saw that she had her own role to play in assuring that they did.

9

L
uke was on edge all through dinner at Gram’s. Even though the chicken and light-as-air dumplings were his favorite, he could barely taste the food. He was all too aware of Moira and the remnants of the tension that had been stirred up between them earlier in the day. As soon as the meal was over, he stood.

“Gram, would you mind if Moira and I took a walk? Leave the dishes. I’ll clean up the kitchen when I get back.”

“I’ll help with cleanup,” Dillon offered. “You two run along and enjoy yourselves.”

Moira hadn’t budged from her seat during the exchange, but she frowned at Luke. “We should stay and put the kitchen back in order,” she said. “Your grandmother cooked the meal. She and my grandfather should relax.”

“But we have her blessing to go,” Luke countered, “as well as your grandfather’s. Do you really want to fight over doing dishes?”

“Maybe we’re not fighting over that at all,” she said.

Luke stared at her, unable to comprehend the ridiculousness of the argument. “That’s it,” he said with a shake of his head. He scooped her into his arms and headed for the door.

“Put me down, you idiot,” she ordered.

“Not just yet,” he muttered, shoving open the screen door with his elbow and crossing the porch in two strides. Only when he’d reached the Adirondack chairs did he pause to set her back on her feet. She punched him in the arm.

“Have you lost your bloody mind?” she demanded.

“No, but I’m beginning to think that perhaps you have. What on earth happened after I went back to work earlier? I thought things were fine between us.”

“Of course you did. You’re a man, aren’t you?”

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “I actually thought that was a part of the attraction.”

She looked as if she was about to launch into another attack, but then his words sank in. Her lips twitched. “You did not just say that. You think being a man makes you something special?”

He fought an even broader grin. “I was just saying I thought it was helpful, given the circumstances. You and me, as a couple. One of us had better be a man.” He held up his hands. “Lucky me!”

This time his words drew a full-fledged smile. “Why on earth did I fall for the likes of you?”

“I’m irresistible,” he ventured.

“As if,” she retorted.

“Charming,” he said then. “Come on, Moira. You have to admit that I’m charming.”

“Not so much right at the moment,” she replied stubbornly.

“Then it has to be my sexiness and good looks,” he concluded.

She gave him a wry look. “Do you have nothing more to offer than that?”

Turning suddenly serious, he held her gaze. “You tell me. Do I?”

She gave him an oddly bewildered look. “It’s not so much one thing but the package,” she said eventually. “You’ve patience and persistence, and that charm you mentioned. On occasion you’ve even shown a sensitive side. And there’s your family, of course. I’m half in love with your family.”

“They love me,” he said, offering it up as proof of his worthiness.

“It’s the one thing that makes me question their judgment,” she teased, stepping at last into his arms and resting her head against his chest. “I’m sorry for lapsing into impossible Moira mode.”

He gave a startled gasp that had her chuckling. “You didn’t think you were the first to call me that, did you? Mum dubbed me with the name before I was ten, along with a few other disparaging phrases. I’ve done my best to live up to all of them.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen that side of you,” he said.

“It comes out mostly when I’m scared and unsure of myself,” she admitted.

“Are you feeling that way right now?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, I’m suddenly feeling safe.”

Luke held her close, feeling her slowly relax, feeling the steadiness of her heart as it beat next to his. She was a complicated woman, more than likely destined to drive him a little crazy, but he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. That was both the challenge and the joy of her.

“Mind telling me why we were arguing over the dishes back there?” he asked when he thought it was safe to bring up the topic.

She glanced up at him. “Do you honestly think I have an answer for that, at least one that makes sense?”

“I was hoping,” he admitted. “If I’m not to stir up your ire over such things again, it would be best if I understand. Was it over walking out on the cleanup?”

“No.”

“Was it over my presumption that you’d want to leave with me?”

He could feel her smile against his chest.

“That was annoying, but no,” she said.

“Then I’m at a loss.”

She sighed. “So am I, to be perfectly honest. I think I’ve been juggling a lot of emotions since I got here. This afternoon, being in your bed, made me start to want things that aren’t necessarily in the cards. I had a perfectly lovely conversation with your grandmother when I got back here and thought I’d figured things out, but tonight the panic crept over me again. I can’t seem to stop it from coming on when I least expect it. I should be over the moon every minute to be here with you, for however long it is. I should be living entirely in the moment, but there’s this tiny part of me that keeps looking ahead to what might happen once I’m home. I hadn’t expected that. I’m not sure I’m happy about it.”

He held her away from him so he could look into her eyes. “Are you worrying again about a future for us, Moira? Who says it’s not in the cards?”

“You’re just launching something new and exciting here. I have an opportunity to accomplish something back in Ireland. How is that going to work?”

“I have no idea,” Luke admitted candidly. “But it will if we want it to. We just have to be honest with each other and try out all the alternatives until one fits our circumstances.”

She looked surprised by his assessment. “Then you subscribe to the theory of compromise that your grandmother believes in?”

“I do. I’ve seen the disastrous results that can happen when it isn’t tried and how well things can work out when it is.”

“Tell me,” she urged.

He settled into one of the chairs with her on his lap. “You know that my uncle Mick and Megan were divorced for many years. I was only a baby when they split up, but I’ve gathered it was because he was always gone for work and she felt as if she’d been left alone to raise five children. His priorities were all out of whack, but for some reason she hesitated to make that plain to him. Instead, she kept silent, hoping he’d figure things out on his own, until finally she lost patience.”

“Jess mentioned something along those lines to me,” Moira confessed.

“Well, before they reconciled a little over a year ago, they finally figured out how to get what they each wanted,” Luke continued. “He cut back on his schedule. She learned to speak up about the things that she needed from him. That’s just one example.”

“Tell me another,” she urged, clearly anxious for reassurance that there was hope.

“Trace and Abby. She was terrified that he’d be like her first husband and insist that she quit work if they had a baby.”

“Don’t they have twins already?” Moira asked.

“They’re Abby’s from her first marriage. She divorced her husband because he wanted her to give up her Wall Street career to care for the girls. She was afraid that Trace would insist on the same thing.” He smiled. “Now she’s pregnant with a baby due any second, because she finally had faith that Trace meant what he said about wanting her to have a career and a home, too. He works at home and picks up all the slack with raising the kids. It works for them.”

“But she’s no longer on Wall Street,” Moira said.

“No, she’s with the same firm, running the Baltimore brokerage office. That’s her side of the compromise.”

Moira nodded, as if finally seeing it. “And Bree’s content with her theater here, because Jake’s here. She has her dream, just not in New York or Chicago.”

“Exactly. I don’t know what’s in store for us, Moira. I only know I want the time to find out. And if we decide we want to be together forever, we’ll figure out a way to make it work.”

“I want to believe that,” she admitted. “I really do, but we’re in such different places, Luke, and I’m not speaking geographically. You figured out your dream in Ireland. You put all the ideas down on paper. You did your homework. And now it’s all about to come true. In a few weeks, you’ll have a gigantic success on your hands. You’ll be at the start of your life’s work. And where will I be?”

“You have your photography,” he reminded her.

“But it’s at a different stage. I have no idea if I’m really capable of achieving any sort of success with it. A couple of jobs have given me a small taste of success, but that’s not proof of anything. When it comes down to a real competition for a job, I could fall flat on my face.”

“Has anyone who’s seen it suggested such a thing?”

“No, but it’s only friends and the McDonough’s customers who’ve seen it, really. They’re inclined to be kind.”

“Is being a photographer something you really want, Moira? Is it something you believe you were meant to do?”

She shrugged, clearly uncertain. “For too many years I never allowed myself to dream of anything. I was like your cousin Jess—not good in school, not happy with anything I tried. I took pictures for my own amusement. I never considered that it could be something more, because it never occurred to me that I could be a success at anything. Mum disapproved of everything I did and Grandfather has only recently been in my life. I just saw disappointment when I looked into his eyes and frustration and weariness when I looked into my mum’s.”

“I can’t speak for Kiera, but that’s certainly not what I see when Dillon talks about you,” Luke assured her. “He couldn’t be more pleased about what you seem destined to accomplish. He’s done nothing but brag about the pictures on the walls at McDonough’s.”

“But that’s the thing. I haven’t accomplished anything. I’ve only an inkling that’s yet to be tested.” She faced him. “I’m half terrified to admit that I really want it.”

“Then you’ll test it,” he said. “And then decide.”

She frowned at his words. “Is it so easy, then, for you to think of letting me go?”

He smiled at her evident frustration. “When I fell for you in Dublin all those months ago, easy was never part of it. I want you to find your path, Moira. And when you’ve done that, I’ll be right here, ready to make it work for both of us. If need be, we’ll pile up the frequent flier miles going back and forth between here and Dublin or wherever your work takes you.”

He thought his words would ease her mind, but instead, her frown only deepened. “And if we can’t handle the distance or find a proper compromise?”

“Then it wasn’t meant to be, was it?” He touched her cheek, felt her skin heat, felt the surprising dampness as a tear spilled over. “What’s this?”

“Sorry. You’re being understanding and supportive again, and I’m being a pain.”

“You’re not being a pain. We’re in the same place more than you realize, Moira. We both have a lot of things about our lives to figure out. It won’t be done tonight or even tomorrow. We’ll do it one day at a time.”

“I’ve not much patience,” she admitted.

He laughed. “I’ve noticed.”

She sighed and settled against his chest again. For now, for this moment at least, they were in complete harmony. Maybe that was enough.

Mindful of his brother’s criticism the day before, Luke was at the pub early, prepared to handle any crisis that crept up. Finding Matthew there ahead of him, looking glum, hadn’t been the one he’d expected.

“I’m surprised to see you here at this hour,” Luke said carefully. “I’d have brought an extra cup of coffee if I’d known you were hanging around.”

“That’s okay. I’m on my third cup as it is. Sally offered to just give me the pot the last time I went in.”

Luke regarded him with concern. “Is there a problem I don’t know about?”

“With the pub? No. Everything’s on schedule. Mick’s got it handled.”

“Okay, then,” Luke said, at a loss as to why Matthew was here when he had a perfectly good office of his own across town. Then it dawned on him. This was about Laila. Matthew had hinted at it yesterday, but Mick’s presence had obviously kept him silent. Apparently, he was back looking for moral support of some kind.

Now there was a minefield Luke would prefer to avoid, but why else would his brother be hanging around looking as if he’d just lost his best friend?

“Anything you want to talk about?” he inquired, treading tentatively into the danger zone.

Matthew shook his head, then contradicted the gesture by blurting out, “Laila’s pregnant!”

“That’s fantastic!” Luke said at once, then noted the lack of enthusiasm in Matthew’s eyes. “It
is
great news, isn’t it?”

“I thought so,” his brother admitted, sounding weary and confused. “The timing makes sense. She’s older, so it wouldn’t be smart to wait around. She’s doing accounting work for the inn and only a few other clients now, so it’s not exactly the career she was dreaming of. I thought she’d be thrilled.”