The Summer Girls (19 page)

“From there it went from bad to worse,” Carson continued.
“We were evicted from our apartments more often than I can remember, each one always shabbier than the last. Daddy was a master at one thing,” she said with a bitter laugh. “That was staying ahead of the collectors. Wait,” she added, lifting a finger in the air. “He was good at one other thing,” she acknowledged. “The man could tell a good story. It’s just a damn shame he couldn’t get those stories down on paper. His only audience was his bar mates.” She drained the contents of her glass.

“He died alone in a bar. Did you know that?” She glanced from one sister to the other, then finally her gaze rested on Mamaw. “I got a call from the police to identify the body.” She paused and, twiddling the stem of her glass, said morosely, “Not one of my happiest memories.”

Mamaw brought her hand to her throat, feeling it close on her. She’d never known this. By the time Carson had telephoned her, his body had already been sent to the morgue. Edward had flown to L.A. immediately to claim the body and bring it and Carson home to South Carolina. She’d always assumed Edward had identified the body, and he had never enlightened her, no doubt trying to protect her. That would have been so like him.

“I thought . . .” Dora began, then had to stop and take a breath, confused. “Lord, I thought it was all so different,” she said slowly. She glanced up at Carson. “All these years you were out in California, I’d always imagined you living in some luxury apartment overlooking the ocean. Living it up, with movie stars and glamour. I was jealous of you, Carson. I thought that you were the lucky one.”

“Luxury lifestyle?” Carson laughed bitterly. “Not quite.”

“At least you knew he loved you,” Dora said unflinchingly. “I knew he never loved me. My mother told me he didn’t often enough. She said that I was just an annoying burden, someone he had to send a birthday and Christmas gift to, if he remembered. Which wasn’t often.” Dora folded her arms and looked away.

“Oh, Dora,” Mamaw murmured under her breath, ready to strangle Winnie for her callousness. Horrible woman. How could a mother tell a young girl such a thing? Dora turned to look beyond Mamaw at Carson. “You know what the craziest part is? I didn’t hate
him
. I hated
you
because you were the one that Daddy loved best. He kept you with him and left Harper and me behind.”

“Loved me? He only dragged me along so I’d take care of him.”

“Carson,” Mamaw said sharply, interrupting her. “That’s not true. He wanted you with him. You didn’t have a mother to keep you, like the others did.”

“I had you,” she said, her voice breaking. “I wanted to stay with
you
. I begged you to keep me, but you wouldn’t.”

Mamaw gasped at the heartbreak she heard in Carson’s accusation. “I would have loved to keep you with me. I wanted to. What could I do?” she cried. “You were his daughter!”

“No!” Carson cried. “That wasn’t the reason you let me go. You could never say no to him.” Tears threatened. “Not even for me.”

Mamaw’s hands flew to her cheeks. “You can’t believe that! Parker . . . he loved you,” she said in halting words. “All of you.”

“Did he?” Carson shrugged, sniffing and swiping away
the tears from her cheeks. She shook her head wretchedly. “Maybe. I don’t know. He tried. But you know what? I don’t care if he did. He was a terrible father. A ne’er-do-well, a lazy bum—”

“Carson, stop it,” Dora snapped. “Daddy wasn’t all that.”

“How would you know?” Carson fired back. “You never saw him except when he flew back home to walk you down the aisle.” She leaned forward, skewering Dora with a direct gaze. “Don’t you remember how you said you didn’t want him to walk you down the aisle because you were afraid that he’d be so drunk he wouldn’t make it without falling on his ass? He knew that, you know. And it hurt him.”

Dora blanched, remembering.

Mamaw felt like she was shriveling inside. She couldn’t catch her breath.

Harper spoke up. “The only time I ever saw him was at Dora’s wedding. I was only fourteen. I was so nervous and happy at the same time at the prospect of seeing him. But when he arrived at the church, even I could tell he was drunk. Just like my mother told me he’d be. I remember Granddaddy was so angry at him. Later, at the reception, I had to meet him. I mean, he was my father. So I stalked him. I found him leaning against the wall in the back hall. He spotted me and came up to me, smiling. My stomach was in knots and I had this dream that he’d hug me and tell me how much he loved me. When he got close he just stood there and stared at me, weaving a little on his feet while I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. He just sneered at me and said, ‘You look just like your mother.’ ”

Harper paused, her face pained at the memory. “I’ll
never forget it, the venom behind the words. He made it sound like it was the worst thing he could’ve said. Like it was a curse and he despised the sight of me. He just walked off. I never saw him again.” She wiped the tears from her face with trembling fingertips. “Not quite the sentiment a young girl dreams of hearing from her father.”

As the young women argued and rehashed painful memories, Mamaw put her hand to her chest. She felt the weight of years pressing. It hurt her to hear her granddaughters spell out Parker’s faults so bluntly and with such rancor. She stared at the guttering candles while steadying her breath. Wax melted down the stooping tapers onto the crystal and linen. She didn’t know if she could clean up this mess. Mamaw gripped the arms of her chair and rose unsteadily to her feet.

“I need some air,” she said weakly.

Immediately all discussion ceased and Carson and Dora were on their feet, holding on to her arms. Mamaw couldn’t look at them; she was too upset. “I have to get out of this dress.”

M
amaw sat nestled in the thick cushions of the black wicker chair on the porch. Looking up, she felt comforted at the sight of the classic South Carolina crescent moon with a vividly bright Venus hovering near. Around them, more stars sparkled like fireflies, creating a moody nightglow. Lucille had helped her change out of the ridiculously constricting dress. She was shocked to find pink marks on her body from the stays that would surely bruise.

Now she was free to breathe in her flowing robe. She should have known better than to try to squeeze into a dress she’d worn back when she had a waistline. Her vanity had always been a burden. She stared out at the blackness and pondered how the dinner conversation had taken such an ugly turn. Emotions had flared much more strongly than she’d anticipated. A wildfire burning out of control . . .

The sound of creaking wood alerted her to someone’s coming. She looked over her shoulder and saw a woman’s silhouette approaching carrying a bottle and two glasses.

“Do you want more wine?” Carson asked her as she drew near.

“Heavens no, child,” Mamaw replied, still feeling lightheaded. “I can’t drink another drop. The days of late-night carousing are long over for me. I have to worry about staying hydrated.”

Carson set the two glasses and bottle on the table, took the chair beside Mamaw, and reached out for her hand.

“Mamaw, I’m so sorry for my outburst earlier. It was wrong and rude and I was raised better.”

“Don’t apologize to me. It’s I who should apologize to you. I should have been more aware, more attentive. When I think of what you went through the night your father died . . .”

Carson closed her eyes tight. “You did your best.”

“I daresay we all did,” Mamaw said.

Carson’s face revealed gratitude for her understanding.

“But so much anger! I didn’t know you carried such a burden.”

“It all just burst out,” Carson said. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t mean to ruin your party.”

Mamaw waved that comment away. “Party . . . We’re family. Don’t trouble yourself about that.”

“But I do. I couldn’t stop. I don’t know whether it was just because I’m in such a sorry place now or because I wanted my sisters to know the truth about what it was like out in California with him. To hear Dora say she thought
we lived the life of the rich and famous. I had to rip away that veil and show them the true sad spectacle.”

“I wish you’d have told me sooner how bad your living situation had become. I would have brought you home. Here.”

“It’s too late to change things now,” Carson said in a fatalistic tone. “My life isn’t here anymore, Mamaw. California is my home.”

“Is it?” Mamaw asked.

“It’s where my work is.”

“Is it?” Mamaw asked again.

Carson just shook her head. “I loved him,” she said in a hushed whisper. “I really loved him, despite everything.”

Mamaw’s heart was fit to break. “I know,” she said, her voice trembling. “I did, too.”

The screen door slammed and two more women joined them on the porch. Mamaw leaned back in her chair to collect herself while Carson quickly wiped her cheeks, then reached to the table to pour herself a glass of wine, right to the brim.

Harper handed Mamaw a glass.

“No more wine for me,” Mamaw exclaimed.

“Me neither,” Harper said. “This is water.”

“Bless you,” Mamaw said, and took a thirsty sip. She waited while Dora and Harper grabbed two of the oversized black wicker chairs and dragged them closer to form a circle. Mamaw smiled, amused to see the girls in their nightwear but still wearing their pearl necklaces. Even their pajamas were different, reflecting their personalities. Harper looked sleek and elegant in her gray silk sheath and three-strand choker. Dora’s opera-length pearls draped over
her long, mauve granny gown. Mamaw couldn’t be sure in the dim light, but it looked like Carson’s black pearls hung above yoga pants and a camisole.

Dora bent to light the large candle in the middle of the table. “We look like a coven,” she said.

“The three witches,” Harper added wryly.

Mamaw was relieved to see them all trying to lighten the mood after the earlier explosions, but a thinly veiled tension still hovered in the air.

“Mamaw,” said Carson gently, reaching out from the chair beside her to touch her hand. “How are you feeling? Do you want to go to bed?”

“No,” she replied, realizing that this second gathering was, for her, a second chance. “I’m a little tired but I’m old; that’s to be expected. There’s been too much excitement today. And perhaps too much to drink.”

“Do you want more water?” asked Dora, shifting to rise.

“No, no, stay. I don’t need a thing. Really, my dears, I’m fine now that I’m free from that dress. But you must all remember to drink plenty of water while you’re here. Stay hydrated. Or you’ll get the worst lines on your face.”

The girls started laughing, and though it was at her expense, this time Mamaw didn’t mind. “Don’t laugh!” she admonished them. “Someday you’ll look in the mirror and see all those lines and crevices and wish you’d listened to dear Granny’s advice.”

“We’re listening!” Carson said, still chuckling.

Mamaw leaned forward and said in a forced whisper, “If any of you can get out of Lucille her secret recipe for keeping her face so smooth, I’ll reward you handsomely!”

“You’re on,” Carson replied.

“I don’t know,” Dora said dubiously. “She’s pretty tight with her recipes. I’ve been trying to get her gumbo recipe for years.”

“The old crone,” Mamaw said, settling back in her cushion.

The women all chuckled softly; then Harper continued in a more reflective tone, “Mamaw, I don’t mean to pry into your business, but we were talking in the kitchen—and we wondered, are you financially okay? Do you need our help?”

“Oh, dear girls, aren’t you as sweet as sugar? Of all the things you have to worry about, to worry about me? That’s very touching but unnecessary. My greatest glory is that I won’t be a burden to you. I don’t have a mind for figures, but I do have good advisers who have helped me with estate planning. And of course Edward was very conscientious when it came to banking. I’ve settled my affairs so that I can move into a retirement community, and once I’m in”—she laughed—“I won’t leave again till the Lord calls me home.”

“And that won’t be for a very long time, we pray,” Dora said.

“Do keep praying,” Mamaw said. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m only explaining, not very well, I fear, why I’m selling Sea Breeze.” She paused. Now she was moving on to the things she’d intended to discuss.

“I wish I could leave it to you, but . . .” Mamaw looked from one granddaughter to the next. “Naturally, if any of you have any desire to purchase Sea Breeze, I will do everything I can to make that possible.” She paused but there were no comments forthcoming, nor had she expected
any. None of the girls was in a financial position to buy any house, much less one that cost the staggering amount Sea Breeze was worth.

“After you, I’ll contact the extended family members. With the increased taxes, the skyrocketing insurance premiums . . .” She sighed. “I don’t know if anyone can buy it or even wants to. I would, of course, like to keep the house in the family. But if there’s no interest, I’ll be forced to contact a real estate agent and let the house fall into strangers’ hands.” She sighed and clasped her hands in her lap. “It can’t be helped.”