The Surrogate (Clearwater) (2 page)

She had him there. He hadn’t
actually worked that out. He got as far as a nanny, but that was it. A nanny
wouldn’t replace an actual family but what choice did he have? “I’ll hire a
nanny and I’ll cut back on my hours. Whatever I have to do.”

“Your practice is almost as
important to you as children. Not to mention you’re the only pediatrician in
Clearwater. What will your patients do without you?”

“A better question would be,
what would my children do without me?” Anger rose but he fought it. His anger
shouldn’t be pointed at Jessi. After all, things could have been so different if
he would have expressed his feelings for Jessi long ago. She might have been
his wife now.

“Not without you. Hell, I
couldn’t raise these children on my own either. I’m saying you will need help
and, to be honest, yes, this put doubt that I made the right decision, but as
you can see it’s a little late now.” She pushed the covers away, exposing her
stomach. “We got ourselves into it and we’ll have to figure out a way to
provide for the children.”

He stalked to the bed, glaring
down at her. “I will provide for them just like I said I would.”

“Michael, don’t start. You
know damn well that I could fight you for the twins. I might not win in the
end, because I don’t have the means to support myself and two children as you
do, but I could make things hell for you. So let’s act like adults here and
figure out what’s in the best interest of the babies.”

He took a deep breath, calming
himself. He swore that he’d find a way to work things out with Jessi. What he
didn’t need was to fight her in court, he had seen enough of lawyers and the
legal system to last a lifetime.

Chapter Two

Jessi was cleaning the family
room when Michael shuffled down the steps. The late morning sun reflected off
the marble entryway making him growl and shield his eyes.

“Morning. You must feel like
hell to just be getting up. There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen.”

“You shouldn’t be doing that.
Leave it, I’ll get it,” he told her as she cleared the coffee table.

“I’m pregnant, not
handicapped. I can take care of the few things you left about.”

Her words made the guilt of
last night rise in him. He meant to hire another housekeeper when Betty went
with Peg, but he never got around to it. In that moment he wished he would
have. He didn’t need Jessi cleaning up after him. “After some coffee, I’ll call
the agency in Jackson Hole that helped me find Betty. Maybe I can get a
housekeeper to start today.”

“I don’t mind. I think we have
bigger things to worry about.” She moved past him holding the leftover pizza
out before her as if it assaulted her sense of smell.

“What about now?” Between the
hangover and no caffeine in his system, he was grumpy. He needed coffee before
she dove into what problem she had discovered.

“I’m due in less than four
weeks.” She ran her hand along her swollen stomach, as if saying, remember
these babies.

He laid his hand on the cool
granite countertop trying to suppress the drums that beat against his temples,
and poured himself a mug of the coffee she so graciously had ready. He breathed
in the deep aroma, filling his senses with the strong vanilla roast he
preferred and took a sip before he faced her. “I know when you’re due. What I
don’t understand is the problem you think we should be worried about.”

“Have you seen the nursery?”
She placed a glass into the dishwasher and looked up at him.

The nursery was another reason
he should have realized something was wrong before Peg dropped the divorce on
him. It was completely empty. They’d sold the furniture from the room after
Jessi’s positive pregnancy test in order to make room for what they thought
would be one child. He was glad now they chose one of the larger guest rooms as
the nursery since it was also the closest to the master suite, but with twins
they’d need the room. “Yeah, I know.” He took another sip of coffee, his brain
struggling from its slumber. “Tiny Treasures Baby Store is right in town. How
about you help me pick out what’s needed and I’ll get it set up this weekend?”

“I don’t know why you need
me.” She opened the fridge and her eyes became wide. “It’s empty.”

“Guess we should get groceries
while we’re out.” He felt embarrassed, the refrigerator should have been
stocked. “I’m sorry.”

Her lips curved down into a
frown as she leaned against the counter looking at him. “Michael, we’ve been
friends for years. I’ve never seen you like this. How do you expect to care for
the twins if you can’t even remember to buy food?”

“It wasn’t I forgot. Without
Betty here I’ve grabbed food at the hospital. I’m a disaster in the kitchen.
Even if I wasn’t, it’s pointless to cook for one.” He finished his mug of
coffee and poured another. It was at least a two-cup minimum morning, but he
suspected that if she wasn’t staring him down he’d have drunk the pot himself.
Something about her gaze made him uneasy. Or maybe it was the suddenly claustrophobic
kitchen.

There he stood next to the one
woman that always appeared just out of his grasp. It wasn’t just her brother
would break his hand if he touched her, it was more the fact he always believed
he was never good enough for her. When they were the closest he was a medical
intern, which meant two things long hours and very little sleep. It wasn’t a
time to get involved even if she wasn’t the younger sister of his best friend.

“I cook all the time for
myself.” She shook her head, a strand of her long blonde hair fell from the
barrette she had it tied back with. His fingers itched to reach out and tuck it
behind her ear. “I’ll go. If you went to the store alone who knows what I’d end
up with when I tried to make dinner.”

“I told you, I’ll get a housekeeper.
In the meantime we can eat while we’re in town.” He wanted to deny the fact he
couldn’t shop but it had been years since he bought any groceries.

“I’m pregnant, I have cravings
at weird hours, so there needs to be stuff here. You don’t need to rush to find
a housekeeper, I can do what needs to be done around here and I don’t mind
cooking. Actually I enjoy it.”

“I’ll call and see about
someone anyways. Give me twenty minutes and we can be on our way.” He placed
the coffee mug in the dishwasher.

“Will we make it out? It was
pretty nasty last night, and more snow is supposed to come in this afternoon.”

“Don’t worry, my truck is used
to the weather. This is nothing compared what we normally have at this time of
year.” Tiny Treasures Baby Store was right next to Fast Check Groceries, so
they’d be able to knock both things out quickly and head home before the storm
hit again.

* * *

Tiny Treasures was adorable
inside. So many cute outfits, toys, and beautiful furniture. Exploring the
store sent a twinge of regret through Jessi—regret that when the twins were
born she’d no longer be a part of their lives. Instead of keeping distance
between herself and the children, she stood inside Tiny Treasures picking out
the items for their nursery.
Why did I get myself involved in this?

“Michael,” a woman called as
she came toward them. Another woman with a baby in her arms followed.

“Chloe.” He leaned close and
gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “How unexpected to see you and
Tessa. This is Jessi. Jessi, Chloe, Tessa, and one of my favorite patients,
Rosalie. How is she doing, her allergies better with the medication?”

The women shared a nod, and
Jessi was acutely away he didn’t explain who she was. Did the residents of
Clearwater know she was his surrogate?

“Rosie is good, growing like a
weed. No more problems with the allergies. We came to pick out her Christmas
dress and to give Chloe and idea of furniture for the nursery.” Tessa rocked
the little girl gently in her arms.

“I wanted to wait until after
the holidays to let anyone know. You know how news spreads like wildfire here
in Clearwater. Let everyone talk of who’s getting what, not about my soon to
grow stomach,” Chloe teased her friend.

Feeling slightly awkward,
Jessi stepped away from the group, her attention turned back to the cribs on
display. There was a slight twinge of jealousy with the way he interacted with
the women. It was the way things had been between them at one time, an easy,
friendly relationship that she missed. Things never seemed more strained than
today.

He was trying, she’d give him
that, but with so much left up in the air concerning the twins she wasn’t sure
how they’d move past the tension that seemed to surround them. Maybe some of
that tension was from the fact she couldn’t wrap her head around the divorce.
He was the man that every woman wanted. He was a successful doctor with a heart
of gold. Why hadn’t she noticed Peg’s tension the last time they were together?

Minutes later Michael returned
to her side. “I’m sorry.”

She stared into his green
eyes. They reminded her of dew-covered grass first thing in the morning, dark
and deep like they went on forever. “For what?”

“Letting myself get caught up
with Chloe and Tessa. When I took the position at Clearwater Hospital I stayed
at Winterbloom Bed and Breakfast. I was there for weeks before I could find a
suitable place, and we got to know each other. Over a year ago Chloe and Jordan
married, he built them a beautiful log home behind Winterbloom. They have
wanted to start a family since.” Michael moved to the next crib before
continuing. “Tessa is new to Clearwater but the women have become close so I’ve
gotten to know her at the town picnics, and Chloe’s dinner parties and
bar-be-ques. She loves to entertain.”

“There’s no need to apologize.
This is your home, you can’t change things just because I’m here.” She ran her
hand along a beautiful walnut crib. “What do you think about this one?”

“What exceptional taste you
have. Chloe’s husband, Jordan, does woodworking in his spare time. His specialty
is nurseries. The owner Zoe Noble sells them here. He made a beautiful set for
Tessa, I wanted to order a custom one from him, but things got away from me.”
He looked toward the counter, for the owner. “I’ll see if Zoe has two in stock.
Why don’t you take a look at bedding?”

“Okay. We’ll need the changing
table and dresser to match. Might want to get two dressers. They are adorable
and the kids can use them as they grow up.” She watched him walk to the
counter, before turning her attention to the bedding.

Scanning the shelves, Jessi
wasn’t completely surprised to find that most of what she saw was for one sex
or the other. Nothing seemed to be unisex and since Peg didn’t want to know the
sex of the children, they’d never found out.

He came to stand next to her.
His shoulder brushed hers, neither of them moved. “Zoe has two of the cribs in
stock as well as the changing table, but only one dresser. We can order another
one. It should be done at the end of January. How’s the bedding coming?”

“Not very well actually, since
most are for either a boy or a girl. It’s one thing to get blue and it be a
girl, but I doubt you want pink with the possibility they might be boys. What
do you want to do about it? We’ll run into the same problems with clothes and toys.”
How had Peg planned to decorate the nursery without knowing? Or maybe she
didn’t want to know the sex because it was another way to keep her distance.

“Then let’s solve that.” He
unclipped a cell phone from his belt and held it up to his ear. “Richard, it’s
Michael. I need a favor.”

Jessi stared at him for a
moment, wondering what he was up to now. He walked away from her, as if he
wanted to keep whatever he had planned a secret. What did he have up his
sleeve? Her appointment with the doctor who would take over and deliver the
twins wasn’t for another week.

Chapter Three

They were ushered into an exam
room at Doctor Bowmen’s office without a wait. Jessi only felt slightly bad
that she was pushed in front of the others who had appointments. Michael gave a
quick wave to someone he must have recognized as they made their way through,
but his attention was completely focused on her. He seemed to share in the
excitement that was coursing through her. Finally she would know the sex of the
twins she carried.

A man no older than
thirty-five, in grey slacks and purple dress shirt stepped around the corner.
She wasn’t sure why but had expected someone older. “Michael, good to see you.”

“You too. Richard, this is
Jessi. Jessi, Doctor Bowmen.” Michael nodded.

“Doctor Bowmen, it’s nice to
meet you. I appreciate you willing to deliver the babies here.” Her hand glazed
over her stomach again, it had become a habit since she found out she was
pregnant.

“Please call me Richard. We’re
very informal around here. Most of us know each other, see each other around
town.” He opened a door and stepped aside. “Come in. Since you’re here I’ll do
your exam now and find out the sex of your children.”

She stepped into the room with
Michael on her heels and Richard bringing up the rear. Sitting on the exam
table she didn’t feel anything but excitement.

“So Jessi, tell me about your
pregnancy. Any problems I need to be aware of? Since your appointment wasn’t
until next week I haven’t had time to look over the file your OBGYN sent from your
last visit.” Richard stepped to the sink to wash his hands.

“It’s been a smooth pregnancy,
no issues at all. I’m aware that with twins most people don’t make their due
date, but as of my last appointment everything was fine. The doctor believed
I’d at least make it close to the date.” Knowing the routine, she leaned back
on the table.

“Excellent.” He stepped up
beside her waist, forcing Michael to move closer to her head. “Were you not
able to find out the sex of the twins before, or did you just change your
mind?”

Michael laid a hand on her
shoulder. “Changed our minds, it will be easier to decorate the nursery and
purchase items for them if we know what to expect. I really appreciate that you
fit us in.”

“Anytime. Now if you’ll pull
up your shirt we’ll see how the little ones are.” Richard drew the sonogram
machine a little closer, before angling the second screen to allow Michael and
Jessi an easy view of the twins.

She tugged up her shirt,
baring her stomach, and tried to find a comfortable position on the table.
Lying on her back wasn’t easy or comfortable. Her back ached from the position
but it wouldn’t last long and, more importantly, it was worth it.

He squirted a warm gel on her
skin before taking the wand and moving it over her stomach. Instantly the sound
of two strong heartbeats filled the room, her eyes filled with tears. It wasn’t
the first time she’d heard the heartbeats, but this time the sound of those two
little drums tore at her heart. Up until now she was able to distance herself
from the twins. How could she ever look at the holiday season the same again
when it would always remind her of the loss of her twins?

“Everything looks good.
They’ve developed well. Their lungs look good. There’s no need for additional
worry, I believe your babies will be healthy even if you delivered today,”
Richard explained, his gaze on the screen before him.

He moved the wand and one of
the twins’ faces came onto the screen. Jessi’s hand reached out as if to touch
her child through the screen. “Can you tell their sex?” Her heart was cracked
and tears now flowed freely down her cheeks. The additional information would
no longer allow her to think of them as just babies but as her sons or
daughters, yet she had to know.

“Let’s see.” He moved the wand
down the length of the first child slowly, almost teasingly so.

She wanted to cry out for him
to hurry, that she couldn’t wait a second longer when Michael took hold her
hand, interlocking their fingers. Their gazes met and she saw tears glistening
in his eyes.

“Not that it will change
anything but I always ask my patients, what would you like?”

Jessi look to Michael with the
hope he’d answer.  “Hopefully they have their mother’s good looks, so girls.”
He smiled down at her.

Good looks?
She
was completely knocked off guard by his statement. All the times they had known
each other, nothing like that had ever come to light. Did he really think she
was attractive, or was he just being kind?

“Well, it’s too early to say
who they look like, but baby number one is a girl.” Richard moved the wand over
her stomach, to find the perfect spot for the second baby. “Baby number two is
also a girl. Looks like you two need to go back to Tiny Treasures and buy
pink.” He lifted the wand and set it to the side before he grabbed a towel and
wiped off her stomach.

“Daughters.” Michael stood,
still gripping Jessi’s hand. His eyes were glazed over.

“The look that crossed through
your eyes…I can tell you’re worried about their teenage years. You’re going to
be one of those dad’s with a shotgun anytime they have a date, aren’t you?”
Richard teased Michael with an ease that let her know they were close friends.

“Just wait until you have kids
and see what a paranoid father you will be.” Michael was able to gain control
of his face, hiding the fear that was there only moments ago, which only made
Richard laugh harder. Michael held out a hand to her. “Come on, we’ll leave him
to his hysteria. Your time will come, Richard.”

She pulled her shirt over her
stomach, then placed her hand in his before gliding off the table. “If there’s
nothing else?”

Her question seemed to sober
him, forcing him back to business. “No Jessi, you and the babies are in good
health. If you have any concerns or questions, Michael knows how to reach me,
otherwise I’ll see you when you go into labor.”

Michael’s arm was snug against
her waist as they made their way from the office building at the back of the
Clearwater Hospital where a number of doctors had their offices. It was also
the location of Michael’s office, allowing him quick and easy access to the
hospital when needed.

Snow was falling when they
finally got back to his large pickup truck. He walked Jessi to the passenger
side and helped her in. She was finally able to take in the extended cab,
checking to see if there’d be room for two car seats. Thankfully there would
be, because she wasn’t sure her little car would be adequate in the snow when
they brought the babies home.

Michael hopped into the truck
and started it. He shoved the shifter into Drive and looked over at her. “Can
you believe girls? Me, a father to two little girls. What the hell do I know
about raising girls?”

She laid a hand on his thigh.
It felt somewhat intimate but it was the only spot she could touch to give him
comfort that wouldn’t interfere as he drove along the snow-covered roads.
“Don’t doubt yourself now, you will be a great father.”

“I hope so.” His words didn’t
sound very convincing, but only time would show him that he’d be a good parent.
He leaned forward, looked up at the sky. “I don’t think the snow will get too
bad for another hour or so. We’ll stop by Tiny Treasures and get some groceries
then go home.”

The drove back to the store in
silence, each of them lost in thought. Jessi’s emotions were running havoc, her
stomach churned. She was happy, yet she felt like crying for her broken heart.
It was all becoming too much for her to bear. The nine months of pregnancy was
enough to form a strong bond between her and the children before they were even
born. It would only get worse once she gave birth.
She wondered, not for the
first time, why she got into the surrogacy parenthood. Why did she think she
could walk away from the babies without being torn in two?

* * *

Michael carried the last bag
in from the truck. The food had been put away before he lugged in the bags from
Tiny Treasures. Jessi sat on the couch with her feet on the coffee table. As
anxious as he was to get the nursery set up he still refused to allow her to
carry anything in or upstairs. She had done her part by helping him pick out
the stuff, and now with the cribs delivered he could prepare the room for his
daughters.

He balanced the bedding sets
in one hand and locked the door before he stepped into the family room. “I’m
going upstairs to get things in order for the nursery. You coming up?”

She shook her head. “Leave the
bedding down here, I’ll get it washed.”

“Laundry is upstairs. The
previous owner had the place plumbed for it. Guess it makes sense with the
family bedrooms upstairs, but it took time to get used to.” He set the stuff
down. “What’s wrong? You seem distant, upset.”

“It’s nothing. Go ahead, do
what you need to.”

It only served to raise his
suspicions something was off when she refused to meet his gaze. “Jes, over the
years we might have drifted apart, but I can still tell when something’s eating
at you.” When she continued to remain silent he racked his brain to figure out
what was wrong. “Did you want boys? Is that what this is about?”

“It doesn’t matter what I
want, they’re
your
children.”

Suddenly he felt even more
confused. “What?”

“Dammit, Michael! I know I’m
supposed to just be some damn incubator but things have changed. This is all
messed up now. Peg’s gone, taking with her the happy, home filled with love
that I thought the children would be raised in. Helping with the nursery,
finding out they’re girls—it all just brings home that in a few weeks you will
have your family and I’m supposed to just go back to my life in Denver. I can’t
cope with it.” Tears ran down her face, breaking his heart.

“What does this all mean?”
Fears of her running off with the twins played through his mind. He knew he had
rights to the girls even without paperwork. It was his sperm that helped create
the twins, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t make things difficult for him. After
all, she was the biological mother.

“It means nothing. I’ve never
been one to go back on my commitments. This will be no different.” She pushed
off the couch, stormed past him, and up the stairs. Michael stood there
dumfounded.

He wanted to follow, to say
something that would make her feel better, but he wasn’t sure what would make
the situation better. How was he supposed to help when he wasn’t sure about
raising twin girls himself?