The Swear Jar (44 page)

“She doesn’t recognize me.  What
have I done?  Sherrie, I’m such a fool.”  He sat down, putting his head in his
hands.

Sherrie stepped closer to the
bathroom although the sight of blood made her sick.  “Meara, do you know me?”

“You look like a nice lady, but no,
I don’t know you.  Anne, where’s your mother?  Why are there so many strangers
in this house?”  Meara cried, exasperated.

The male paramedic said, “She
probably has a concussion.  After all this, I wouldn’t be surprised.  That
would explain the memory loss.  It should come back.  We’ll know more when we
get to the hospital.  Who’s riding with her?”

Sherrie pointed to Duncan.  “He
is.  She really is his fiancée.  I’ve got Anne.  Her family will meet her at
the hospital.”

His eyes red, Duncan stood up.  “A
concussion?  How long does it take for memory to come back?”

The female paramedic spoke
soothingly.  “It’s hard to tell.  A few hours or a few days.  It can come back
all at once or a little bit at a time.  It all depends.  She has a couple of
bad bumps on the noggin.  I wouldn’t worry.  With rest, she’ll remember you
again.  Let’s get going.”

“Duncan, I’ll take Anne.  You go
with Meara.  With luck, she’ll remember you and be pissed.  Duncan, get her
glasses.  They’ll take her contacts out.  Anne, you need to borrow one of
Meara’s shirts, find her purse and put on your coat.  Move, you two!” said
Sherrie snapped.

The paramedics lifted Meara onto a
gurney.  She hissed in pain and curled up on her side.  They wheeled her into
the ambulance and Duncan climbed in beside her.  Exhausted, she fell into a
deep sleep.  As he held her hand, pain flickered across her face.  She mewled
softly.

The female paramedic said, “What is
that?”

“She’s having a nightmare.  She
hasn’t had one in a long time.  It’s difficult to wake her up,” Duncan said
anxiously.

“Duncan?  Where are you, Duncan?”
Meara whispered.

He kissed her hand and stroked her
cheek.  “I’m here, Meara.  Right here.  Wake up, sweetheart.”

“Duncan’s gone.  He doesn’t love me
anymore.  He’s gone,” she cried, gulping for air.

Leaning close, he whispered, “No,
Meara.  I’m right here.  I love you.  I’m so sorry.  Please, wake up.”

She opened her eyes.  “Duncan?”

He laughed as tears poured down his
cheeks.  “Do you remember me?  Please tell me you remember me.”

“Of course, I remember you. 
Duncan, why does my head hurt?  Where am I?” she asked, wiping away his tears. 
“Why are you crying?”

“You had an accident.  You broke
the Swear Jar.  Do you remember?” he asked.

“Yes, I do.  I was upset.  Why was
I upset?  Wait.  We had a fight.  We broke up.  You don’t love me anymore.” 
She turned away and cried.

“Meara, listen to me.  I’m afraid
the Board will force one of us to quit.  I don’t want either of us to leave. 
I’d be lost without you.  I don’t want to retire or have you leave.  I don’t
want you working for someone else.  I want things to stay as they are.  Russell
lied to me.  He told me you were considering the job he has open.  It was my
worst nightmare coming true.  If you left to work for him, maybe you’d leave
me.  I’d be alone again.  He told me you were using me, waiting for me to
retire to get my job.  It’s my fault I listened to Russell.  I got twisted
around.  I pushed you away.  I had doubts again.  You mean everything to me.  I
hurt you and then you hurt yourself.  I’m so sorry.”

With a tear-streaked face, she
faced him.  “You told me ‘no more sadness, no more pain, no more doubts.’ 
Right now, I’m very sad, in a lot of pain and I doubt we’ll ever have a happy
ending.”

She turned away, crying herself to
sleep.  He cursed himself.  He was a horrible knight in shining armor.  He had
promised they would be happy.  Feeling an old familiar pain in his chest, he
buried his face in his hands.  He had no idea how to fix it, but he wasn’t
giving up on her, on them.

When they arrived at the hospital,
the paramedics whisked Meara off to the emergency room.  Duncan tried to
follow, but a nurse led him to a small waiting room.  Diana, Ben, Anne and
Sherrie were waiting.  Since Sherrie had filled them in on what had happened,
Diana was furious with Duncan.  Ben was hugging Anne, who looked pale and
worried.

“Don’t even say a word, Duncan,”
Diana said.  “It’s best not to speak right now.”

Duncan nodded.  Ben gave Duncan a
quick head nod Diana couldn’t see.  Sherrie paced the floor.  Thirty minutes
later, a nurse came for them.  She led them to a room where Meara was waiting,
weak from all the poking and prodding.  She had bandages on her feet and
forehead.  Curled up on her side, her face was ashen.  She was dozing.

“The doctor will have the results
of the tests soon.  She has stitches on both feet and her forehead.  We took
out her contacts.  She’s going to have a big bump on the back of her head too,”
the nurse said.

Once the nurse was gone, Diana
glared at Duncan and spoke so Meara wouldn’t hear.  “This is your fault.  What
the hell is wrong with you?  Do you love her or not?  Make up your fucking mind
soon before she kills herself on purpose.  I can’t believe you.  You need to
leave.”

Ben spoke carefully.  “Diana, they
had a fight.  Look at him.  Really look at him.  He’s upset too.  You haven’t
spoken to Meara yet.  Find out if she wants him to stay or go.”

Diana snapped.  “Fine.”

Duncan said, “I won’t leave even if
she tells me to go.  I’m not leaving.  This is my fault and I know it.”

Sherrie shook her finger in
Duncan’s face.  “You bet it’s your fault.  If I was Meara, I would never
forgive you.”

“What did you do, Dad?” asked Sean,
suddenly appearing in the doorway.

Duncan was surprised to see Sean,
Andrew, Lisa, John, Tom and Lucy standing in the hallway outside Meara’s room. 
Their concerned faces reminded Duncan how he had screwed up with her.

He snapped.  “What are you doing
here?”

Chapter Forty-Nine

“We called the library to see if we
should pick up pizza.  Tom told us Meara had an accident.  We came here and so
did Tom and Lucy.  What the hell did you do, Dad?  She looks like you beat the
crap out of her,” said Sean, distraught.

In the hallway, the doctor excused
his way into the room.  “I’m sorry.  Immediate family only, please.  The rest
of you will have to wait across the hall.”

Everyone, but Duncan, Diana and
Ben, shuffled out.  There was a stare off between Duncan and Diana.

“Duncan, please leave until I speak
with Meara.  We’ll let you know what the doctor says,” Diana said.

Duncan hung his head and joined the
others.  Everyone stood slightly away from him.  He felt many sets of eyes
glaring at him.

Angry, Andrew asked, “What’s going
on, Dad?  Did you hurt Meara?”

“We had a fight.  It’s my fault. 
She went home and had an accident,” he said.

“Sherrie says you broke up over
some stupid story Russell told you,” replied Andrew.

“It’s true.  He lied to me.  I
didn’t believe Meara,” he said, staring across the hall.

“Dad,” said Andrew, shaking his
head.

The doctor left Meara’s room.  Diana
stood in the doorway, blocking the entrance.  The group moved back into the
hallway, wanting to hear what the doctor had said.

“She’s sleeping, so let’s leave her
alone for now.  The doctor says she has a mild concussion.  The cuts on her
feet are pretty bad, so she has antibiotics.  They can’t give her painkillers. 
Her memory will be spotty, but she’ll be fine,” said Diana.  “They want to keep
her for another hour, and then we can take her home.”

Tom and Lucy hugged each other. 
Sherrie and Lisa breathed a sigh of relief.  Andrew and Sean glared at Duncan. 
He shifted nervously.  Anne slipped past Diana and held Meara’s hand.

“May I speak with her?” asked
Duncan.

“She’s sleeping,” Diana sneered. 
“Let it go.”

Anne’s face turned white.  Meara
was mewling again.

“Let me go to her.  I can help with
the nightmare.  Please, Diana,” Duncan begged.

“She’s saying his name,” Anne
cried.

Meara was having a panic attack as
the nightmare got worse.  Duncan and Diana heard her hyperventilate as they
stared at each other.  His eyes filled with tears.  Softening, Diana moved out
of the way.  He ran to Meara.

“I’ve seen her do this before, when
Hank died,” said Ben to Duncan.  “She passed out.  I hate this.”

Duncan nodded, cradling her in his
arms.  “Meara, sweetheart, wake up.  I’m here.  We’re all here.  Meara, wake
up.”

She didn’t wake up.  “Duncan’s
gone.  I can’t find him.  Why didn’t he follow me?  I can’t breathe.  I’m
lost.”

“I’m right here.  I promised I
would follow you, but I didn’t.  I’m sorry.  Please wake up, Meara.”  He kissed
her forehead, squeezing her close.  “Please come back to me.  I love you.”

He rocked her back and forth.  Her
breathing slowed as she listened to his voice.  Calming down, she opened her
eyes.  He smiled, stroking her cheek.

“What’s going on?  Where am I?  Why
does my head hurt?” she asked.

“You’re in the hospital.  You had
an accident.  Do you know me?” he asked.

“Yes, I know you,” she said,
squirming.  “Why are you holding me?  We broke up.  You don’t love me.”

Irritated, his voice rose.  “I
NEVER said I didn’t love you.  I was angry and confused.  It was my fault.  I’m
sorry.  I love you.”

“I’m tired.  I want to go to
sleep.  Goodbye, Duncan.”  Curling up on her side, she refused to look at him.

Diana waved Duncan away.  “You
heard her.  It’s time to go.  Everyone should go.”

“Are visiting hours over already?”
asked a voice at the door.

It was Russell, holding two dozen
red roses.  Enraged, Duncan looked like he wanted to choke Russell.

“I called the library.  The
Reference guy told me Meara had an accident.  I wanted to see her,” beamed
Russell, oozing with charm.

“Haven’t you done ENOUGH already?”
yelled Duncan, stepping close, balling his fists.  “You LIED to me.  We’ve
always kept the rivalry professional until now.  Meara told you off.  You got
mad.  You called me and LIED about what she said.  ADMIT IT!”

“What are you talking about? 
You’re crazy.  You’re becoming forgetful.  Might be a good idea to let the
younger generation take over the reins,” Russell said.

“This is NOT a joke.  You LIED to
me.  You’re the reason why I didn’t believe her.  You made me doubt her.  It’s
MY fault, but you crossed the line and Meara got HURT.  I’m such a fool.  I
don’t deserve her.  I LOVE her and I’ll be DAMNED if I let anyone hurt her. 
GET OUT of here and don’t EVER come near her again.  Whatever she said about
you is the TRUTH.  GET OUT!”  Duncan roared, stepping menacingly close to
Russell.

Meara heard Duncan yelling at
someone.  Her head hurt.  She pulled herself up, her vision blurry without her
glasses.

She pointed somewhere between
Duncan and Russell.  “I told you I never wanted to see you again.  I’m so sick
and tired of people not listening to me.  Are you so thick-headed you don’t get
it?  I don’t want you anywhere near me.  GET OUT!”

Backing away towards the door,
Duncan hung his head in defeat.  She was speaking to him.  He would leave. 
Russell had won.  The pain in Duncan’s chest tightened until he couldn’t
breathe.  Russell grinned evilly.  Ben and Anne blocked Duncan’s exit.  They each
grabbed an arm, not letting him go.  Russell moved closer to Meara.

“Did you not hear me?  GET OUT and
leave us alone.  Do you want more of what I said earlier today?  I didn’t think
so.  If you EVER come near Duncan or me again, I’ll kill you.  Take your damn
roses and give them to the nurses.  I’m sure with all the CRAP going on in
here, they could use a little appreciation.  Goodbye, Russell!”  Meara waved.

The group heard her yelling from
the hallway.  Tom and Lucy shook their heads.  Sherrie and Lisa distracted John
from all the commotion.  Andrew and Sean exchanged looks, nodding.  Duncan
grabbed Russell by the shirt collar, dragging him into the hallway.  Ben
followed.

“Russell, I’m sorry.  You must
forgive Meara.  She’s under a lot of stress and in a lot of pain.  She doesn’t
mean what she said about killing you.  However, if you EVER come near Meara
again, you won’t have her to worry about, it’ll be me.  I’ll kill you,” grinned
Duncan maniacally.

“Dad!  We’ll take care of this. 
Right, boys?”  Andrew turned to Sean and Ben.

Sean and Ben nodded as they each
took one of Russell’s arms.  Still fuming, Duncan stood in the doorway of
Meara’s room.  Andrew winked.

“Russell, you’ll have to forgive my
father.  He’s a little upset.  He’s not having a good day.  I’m sure he didn’t
mean it when he said he’d kill you.  Have I introduced myself and my two
friends here?  This is my brother, Sean, and my future step uncle, Ben.  We’re
going to walk you out and make sure no one hurts you,” said Andrew.

“Yeah, because if anyone is going
to make my future step mother’s life miserable, it’s me,” laughed Sean.  “Have
we mentioned we really like Meara?  It would be a shame if you fell down a
flight of stairs in a hospital.  Let’s walk carefully, shall we?”

“I’m a little clumsy, like Meara,”
said Ben.  “You may not want to walk so closely to me.  I might push you down
the stairs by accident and then lie about it.”

Duncan chuckled in the doorway,
proud of his sons and Ben.  He saw Russell looking around in confusion and terror. 
Inhaling deeply, he turned to face Meara.  Wearing her glasses now, she looked
terrible and very tired.  He ached to hold her.

“Duncan?”  She reached out hesitantly,
opening her arms to him.

He ran to her, wrapping his arms
around her.  He squeezed her tight as he covered her face and forehead with
kisses.

“I’m so sorry.  I have no excuse. 
I can’t tell you how much I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“My head hurts.  What happened?”
she asked.

He sighed patiently.  “We had a
fight.  You broke the Swear Jar with your shoe.  And you whacked a few holes in
the bathroom tiles.  It’s my fault.”

“Oh.  Why do my feet hurt?”

“One foot, glass.  The other, a
wrench.”

“Oh.  Do you love me?” she asked,
confused.

“I love you more than anything in
the world.  Your knight has a few deep dents in his formerly shining armor and
it needs a good polishing.  He’s still making mistakes.  Bad ones like letting
you go.  I’m sorry.  I’m not perfect, but I need you, Lady Meara.  I love you.”

“It felt horrible to think you
didn’t love me.  It was like someone ripped out my heart.  I had nightmares
again, didn’t I?” she asked.

“Yes, you did.  Meara, I won’t ask
you to forgive me.  Please give me a chance to prove I’ll never doubt you
again,” he begged, tears rolling down his cheeks.

She kissed his tears away. 
“Someone once told me we had all the time in the world.”

“I don’t deserve you.  All I ever
do is hurt you,” he whispered.

“That’s not true and you know it. 
You need to stop listening to other people.  You need to trust me and only me when
it comes to us.  And don’t think I’ve forgotten you said my mother was right,”
she glared.

“THAT you remember.”  Sighing, he
rolled his eyes.

“What are we doing with her?” asked
Ben, standing in the doorway.

“We’re taking her home with us,”
said Diana.

“She can’t walk upstairs.  Her
house is trashed until I fix it.  Think about it, Diana.”  Discreetly, Ben
winked at Duncan.

“Meara, come home with me,” Duncan
pleaded.

“Wherever you are is home to me,”
she said.  “I’m going with Duncan.”

“Are you INSANE?  He’s the reason
you’re here!” yelled Diana.

“I made a mess of myself by myself,
Diana.  We had a fight.  A pretty bad one, but we’ve had them before.  If I’m
willing to work it out, you need to let me.  Can we get out of here now?” she
asked.

“I’m getting a nurse and a
wheelchair.  Diana, can you get her dressed?” Duncan beamed as he trotted into
the hallway.  “Tom, Lucy and Sherrie, thank you for coming.  Meara’s going to
be fine.  She’s coming home with me.  Why don’t you go home too and have a
Happy New Year?  Sean, we’re going to need pizza and lots of it.”

“Gotcha, Dad,” said Sean.  “I don’t
think Russell will be bothering you anytime soon.  Ben’s one scary dude when
he’s angry.  Even Andy looked a little menacing.”

Andrew smiled as he held John in his
arms.  Raising her eyebrows, Lisa smirked.

Andrew sighed.  “It’s true.  Don’t
laugh.”

Duncan returned with a nurse and a
wheelchair.  “Let’s get her out of here before she forgets who I am or
remembers more of our fight.”

Meara was discharged and tucked into
Duncan’s car for the ride home.  She gritted her teeth as the car bounced
along.  Extremely tired, she was still confused as her memory fought to
return.  The panic she had felt when they had argued was subsiding.  She was
overjoyed to be with him again, but she wasn’t going to let him off so easily
this time.  Since he had mentioned her mother, she was going to make him squirm
a little.  He also needed to stop doubting or she would have to do something
drastic that would break her heart.  She hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Both families followed them to
Duncan’s house.  Sean had called for pizza.  The delivery guy was waiting for
them as they pulled up.  Sean and Ben grabbed pizzas while Anne and Diana got
the bottles of soda.  Lisa carried an exhausted John.  Andrew stayed behind to
help Duncan with Meara.  She winced as they walked her to the family room
couch.  Anne tucked pillows behind her while Diana covered her with an afghan. 
The others were bustling around the kitchen, setting up for dinner.  Duncan
hovered over her.

“I’m fine.  Stop fussing.  I’m not
hungry right now.  Go eat.  I want to rest my eyes,” she smirked.

He kissed her forehead.  She closed
her eyes.  He went and sat at the kitchen table with everyone.  They ate pizza
quietly, but soon they were laughing about Russell and his ejection from the
hospital.

“We told him we’d take him on a
tour of the morgue.  He didn’t seem interested.  I wonder why?” Andrew mused.

“I’d have punched him in the nose
if you guys hadn’t stopped me.  He needs to have his face rearranged.  You
should have at least let me wipe that smirk off his face,” said Duncan bitterly,
taking a bite of pizza.

Everyone laughed.  Duncan froze. 
He tilted his head to the side.  He heard mewling.  He dropped the pizza onto
the plate and stood up.

“Excuse me,” he said.

She was having another nightmare. 
He dreaded finding out if she would remember him this time or not.  If he could
take back what he had said, he would.  Since he couldn’t, he would make it up
to her by telling her over and over again he loved her.  He would also tell her
he was sorry as many times as it would take for him to never doubt her or their
love again.

Duncan woke Meara up.  She was
cranky and wanted to go to bed.  He helped her hobble upstairs.  Grimacing and
sweating, she rested on the small landing.  Andrew, Lisa, Diana and Ben watched
from the foyer.  He spoke quietly to her.  She shook her head.  They were
bickering.

“Stop treating me like a baby,” she
snapped.

“Then stop acting like one.”  He
shot back.

“Bastard,” she growled.

“Bitch.”  He stared at her.

“This isn’t going well,” Lisa
whispered.

“Actually, this is good,” said
Andrew.

Ben nodded, but Diana, shaking her
head, wasn’t convinced.  Meara and Duncan struggled.  As they made the top of
the landing, they disappeared from view.  The bickering ceased and silence
followed.  The four of them were shocked when Duncan went by carrying Meara in
his arms, kissing her.  He carried her into the bedroom, coming back to close
the door.  They heard the distinct click of a door lock.