The Sweet Spot (13 page)

“And you love him more than daddy?” Raffi whispered.

“Oh Raphael,” Ani sighed with her heart in her eyes. “It’s so complicated I don’t even know where to begin. But what I can promise you, with all of my heart, is that I will always be here for you, by your side, every day.” Ani took her daughter’s hands in her own.

“Are you moving in with
Sebastian?” Raffi asked her mother, blinking back tears.

“No!” Ani vehemently denied.
“I’ll get a place close to home and school and we’ll decorate it together and make it beautiful and you’ll live with both daddy and I, half and half.”

“What if I don’t want to live at both places?” Raffi whisp
ered, staring down at the photo album in her lap.

“Well,” Ani began uncertainty, not sure how to respond.

“I love my room at home,” Raffi explained, “all my stuff is there, and won’t daddy be lonely if we’re both gone?” Raffi stared at her mother accusingly.

“He might
,” Ani agreed slowly. “Look Raffi, this isn’t going to be easy for any of us, but we’ll work through it one step at a time,” she promised, squeezing Raffi’s hands. “Won’t you miss me a little if you never come and stay with me?”

“Yes.
” Raffi buried her head against her mother’s chest. “I just want everything to go back to the way it was. I wish Sebastian had never come back. Do you hate me for wishing that?” Raffi asked her mother in anguish.

“
Oh baby, I could never hate you for anything,” Ani whispered into her daughter’s hair, hugging her close. 

“What’s this pic
ture?” Raffi asked as she pointed to another picture in the album.

“That was the day we won the go-cart race,” Ani laughed. 

“A&S’s lemonaid stand,” Raffi read the words painted on the side of the go-cart in yellow paint.

“Advertisi
ng,” Ani explained, smiling at the memory. “Other kids had gotten neighborhood stores to sponsor them but we decided to advertise our own business.”

“And this one?”
Raffi asked, flipping through the album and stopping at a picture of Ani at thirteen, slender and lovely with soft curves, long silky hair and a smattering of sweet freckles across her face.  She was wearing a deep blue dress with spaghetti straps that hugged her tiny waist and ended at her knees, showing off long skinny legs and pink toenails peeking out of silver high-heeled sandals.

“That was my first dance,” Ani murmured softly. “
Bast took that picture, He said he wanted to remember me in that dress forever. It was a high school dance and I was so nervous about going. But then Bast slipped a corsage on my wrist and led me over to his bike and I wasn’t nervous anymore.” Ani grinned at her daughter. “He sat me on the handlebars of his ten-speed bike in my dress and heels and biked us over to the dance in his suit. It was so Bast that I forgot all about the butterflies in my stomach.”

“Did you love daddy when you married him?” Raffi asked her mother with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Very much,” Ani replied softly. “I still love your father Raphael, I always will. We created you together and we will always be connected by you.”

“But do you wish that you hadn’t had me?” Raffi sniffled, her eyes suddenly filling with tears.
“If you hadn’t had me, you could have been with Sebastian all this time and you could live with him now.”

“Oh Raffi, you’ll probably never understand the love that I have for you until you become a mother yourself,” Ani whispered to her daughter, pulling her into her lap.
“I would trade my entire lifetime with Sebastian for one second with you. I will never love anyone like I love you, not Sebastian, not daddy, no one. The day that you were born was the happiest day of my life, do you understand that?” Ani asked her daughter intently, pulling her away from her chest so she could gaze into her eyes. “You are the greatest treasure in the world to me.” Ani stared into Raffi’s identical blue eyes.

Raffi nodded, dropping her face back against her mother’s chest
. “Did Sebastian do something bad when you were younger?” she whispered. “Was daddy right, is he a murderer?”

“No baby,
no,” Ani assured her daughter. “He’s not a murderer at all. We got into a terrible car accident when we were kids and someone died, but it was just an accident. Bast is a wonderful, kind, and gentle man.”

“So is daddy,” Raffi whispered back, “and he’s a brilliant surgeon, I hear people s
ay it all the time.”

“Your daddy is a wonderful man and a brilliant surgeon,” Ani agreed, “and I will love him forever and never regret my time with him
.” She hugged Raffi tightly. “But I also love Sebastian, and I’ve missed him all these years that he has been locked away. I have to give us a chance to make up for the time that we lost.”

“Will we
get to bake lemon things all the time now?” Raffi asked her mother, swiping at her eyes.

“If you want to,” Ani replied with a
tender smile.

“I’m glad lemons don’t make y
ou sad anymore,” Raffi admitted, hugging her mother tightly.

“I’m sorry I never baked
lemon cake with you or told you who you were named after,” Ani murmured. “Sawyer was right. I shouldn’t have kept all these secrets from you. My past is what makes me who I am and I want you to know who your mother is, all of the pieces of me.”

“I like the photos
, and I like knowing about my name. I like knowing that I was named after someone who was special,” Raffi whispered shyly.

“You were,” Ani whispered back, “Raffi was wonderful and everyone who knew him loved him.”

Sawyer held the door to her apartment open without a word when Ani and Raffi arrived later that day, ruffling Raffi’s hair as she walked in, and kissing her sister’s cheek.

“Your dad
dropped off your laptop,” Sawyer told Raffi as she closed the door behind them.

“Is it okay that we’re here?” Ani whispered to her sister, following her into the kitchen.

“Don’t be an idiot A,” Sawyer replied, turning the kettle on for tea. “I’m glad you’re here.” She hugged Ani tightly.

“I’m going to look for a place tomorrow,” Ani assured her sister.

“I’ll help you,” Sawyer replied with a gentle smile.

Chapter Thirteen

“Hey there,”
Sebastian called softly from the back doorway of the bakery the next morning.

“A
little early to swing by for a cup of coffee and a muffin,” Ani replied with a smile as Sebastian snagged a warm blueberry muffin from the counter and made his way over to the coffee pot.

“Couldn’t sleep without
you next to me. Now that I’ve finally had a taste of you back in my bed I’m ruined without you there,” Sebastian confessed, taking a sip of his coffee and gazing at Ani thoughtfully. “And it goes without saying that your muffins are worth a trip over here at three a.m.” He grinned as he bit into his muffin.

“So you got out of bed just
for my muffins?” Ani continued to tease, sliding a pan of scones into the oven.

“Your muffins and my good morning kiss
,” Sebastian replied huskily, coming up behind Ani and slipping his arms around her.

“I missed you too,” Ani admitted softly, turning around in
Sebastian’s arms and pressing her face into his chest. “What time are you meeting your dad at the dock?” she asked, lifting her face up and brushing her lips across Sebastian’s softly.

“
Five,” Sebastian murmured against Ani’s lips, pulling her against him tighter and kissing her deeply.

“I have to bake the brownies,” A
ni moaned regretfully as Sebastian slid his hands under her apron and lowered his lips to her neck.

“
Hmmm,” Sebastian replied, continuing to trail kisses down Ani’s neck.

“You’re killing me,” Ani protested, pushing away from
Sebastian with a laugh.

“How’s Raffi doing?”
Sebastian asked seriously as Ani returned to her baking.

“I think she’s
okay,” Ani answered thoughtfully. “She’s sad, but I think she knows how much Jordan and I love her and I hope she’s old enough to understand that she isn’t going to lose either of us.”

“Have you figured out any of your living arrangements yet?”
Sebastian asked carefully, leaning against the counter as he watched Ani work.

“Not really,” Ani admitted, stirring the melted chocolate and butter in
to a bowl of eggs and vanilla. “I’m going to start looking for an apartment this afternoon, and in the meantime I’m staying with Sawyer.”

“You can
move in with me,” Sebastian offered with a grin. “It would save me from getting out of bed at three a.m. to trek over here for my good morning kiss.”

“You’d never let me out of bed if I lived with you,” Ani teased lightly, sliding a pan of brownies into the oven and setting the timer for twenty
-five minutes.

“Seriously, have you considered it?”
Sebastian asked Ani softly.

“Yes,
for about five selfish seconds,” Ani admitted with a sigh.  “I have a daughter Sebastian,” she reminded him gently, “a daughter who already feels betrayed and confused. My priority is Raffi right now, not indulging a teenage fantasy.”

“Is that what we are to you?
A teenage fantasy?” Sebastian asked, gazing at Ani thoughtfully.

“I
hope not,” Ani replied quietly. “I just ended my marriage and am uprooting my daughter and my entire life for you.”

“T
his is no teenage fantasy,” Sebastian whispered, gathering Ani into his arms. “I’ve been waiting for you for fifteen years A, this is real. Do you understand that?” Sebastian lifted Ani’s face up to meet his eyes.

“Yes,” Ani murmured back, closing her eyes and losing herself in
Sebastian’s devouring kiss.

“You smell like chocolate,”
Sebastian breathed, trailing kisses down Ani’s neck and pressing her up against the counter. “And you taste like vanilla.” He slipped one of her fingers into his mouth and sucked it slowly.

“I still have to make
the bread pudding and cupcakes,” Ani moaned as Sebastian leaned her back and pushed her apron up. 

“I want to hear you beg,”
Sebastian whispered back, dipping his finger into the bowl of frosting on the counter behind Ani. “I remember when you created this frosting.” Sebastian slowly smeared it down Ani neck and began licking it off.

“We were out of
confectioners sugar,” Ani gasped as Sebastian reached under her dress and pulled her underwear off.

“So you used brown sugar instead,”
Sebastian murmured, spreading it across Ani’s inner thighs and licking his way inward.

“I can’t use that frosting for the brownies anymore now that you stuck your fingers in it,” Ani breathed, throwing her head back in surrender as
Sebastian slipped his finger inside her.

“Are you complaining?”
Sebastian teased as he glided his tongue over Ani’s clit and slid another finger inside her.

“Nooo,” Ani moaned
, pressing Sebastian’s face against her.

“You’re
not begging yet,” Sebastian warned, lifting his face away from Ani’s open thighs.

“Please,” Ani whispered, wrapping her legs around
Sebastian’s shoulders and drawing him back against her.

“That’s it, just one
‘please’?” Sebastian murmured against Ani’s soft moist curls. “I hope you can do better than that,” he taunted, trailing his lips up and down her inner thighs and blowing softly against her hot wet opening.

“If you stop
, I’ll need to tattoo a teardrop on my face to mourn your dead body,” Ani gasped in reply as Sebastian slid a teasing finger back inside her. 

“That’s my girl,”
Sebastian whispered against Ani’s quivering heat as he flicked his tongue up and down over her clit teasingly.

“Oh my
God Bast,” Ani gasped as she finally gave into the orgasm that racked her body.

“Ah
, the sweet spot,” Sebastian murmured with a grin, lifting his face up to Ani’s in satisfaction.

“You always could find my sweet spot,” Ani sighed in contented agreement.

“I’m glad I still can,” Sebastian whispered, gazing into Ani’s eyes seriously as he stood up and pulled her against him.

“I haven’t really changed wh
en it comes to you,” Ani admitted, staring back at Sebastian thoughtfully. “When you touch me, I feel sixteen again.”

“I
wondered how it would be between us after all this time,” Sebastian confessed softly.

“How is it for you?” Ani asked
, lowering her eyes uncertainly.

“Heaven,”
Sebastian breathed, lifting Ani’s face to his and kissing her lowered eyelids. “I dream about you when we’re apart and I can’t get enough of you when we’re together.”

“Well don’t think you can seduce
me every morning in the bakery,” Ani teased, “at least not when Sawyer is here.”

“Where is
Sawyer this morning?” Sebastian asked curiously.

“With Raffi,” Ani
replied, pulling away from Sebastian and picking up the ruined bowl of frosting.

“Sorry about your brownies,”
Sebastian teased, dipping his finger back into the frosting bowl and rubbing it across Ani’s lips.

“Hmmm,” Ani murmured back, sucking
Sebastian’s finger into her mouth. “It is good frosting,” she agreed with a grin before she pushed him away and scooped her underwear up off of the floor. 

“Tease,”
Sebastian complained, gazing at Ani hungrily as she slipped back into her underwear and pulled her apron back down over her dress.

“I warned you
, I still have cupcakes and pudding to make,” Ani replied saucily, turning away from Sebastian and washing her hands before she started layering the buttered bread in the dish for the pudding.

“I’ll make you pay later,”
Sebastian murmured huskily in Ani’s ear as he slipped his arms around her and kissed her good-bye.

“I love you,” Ani called out softly to
Sebastian as he turned to walk away.

Sebastian
froze at Ani’s words and he turned back around to stare at her with wet eyes.

“Say it again,” he murmured hoarsely.

“I love you,” Ani repeated shyly, staring back at Sebastian tenderly.

“I love you too,”
Sebastian replied softly, touching his heart and holding his hand out toward Ani before he turned back around and walked out of the bakery. 

………………………………………

“Hey there!” Sawyer called out to Ani as she popped her head in the bakery door a few hours later.

“
Hi,” Ani smiled back at her sister as she finished ringing up a customer and passed the man his change and cinnamon scone.

“What happened to the brownies?” Sawyer asked with a frown as she gazed at the brownies in the case that were dusted with powdered sugar instead of their usual rich brown sugar frosting.
“Did you not have time to make the frosting, without me here to help?”

“No, I was fine on my own,” Ani assured her sister with a blush.

“Sebastian came by!” Sawyer guessed with a wide grin. “I told you that frosting is irresistible. Especially to blonds,” she laughed as Ani’s entire face turned scarlet. “God, I always forget how easy you are to embarrass.” Sawyer reached out a hand to tickle her sister. “So did he rub it all over your breasts? My blond soccer player liked to coat my nipples in it,” Sawyer confided in a naughty whisper.

“Soy!”
Ani protested, covering her red ears with her hands and shoving her sister away.

“
Wow, Bast must have done more than that if you’re this embarrassed. I’m impressed, I’ll have to ask him for pointers,” Sawyer teased her sister with a wink.

“Just go get your coffee and muffin and get out of my bakery!” Ani retorted,
turning her red face away from her sister.

“Ev
en the back of your neck is red,” Sawyer laughed as she walked over to the coffee pot.

“
Fuck off.” Ani stuck her tongue out at her sister.

“So, I had an idea,” Sawyer began, stirring sugar into her coffee and gazing at her sister across the room.

“Okayyyy,” Ani replied, drawing out the word as she stared back at her sister with a raised eyebrow.

“Let’s get an apartment together,” Sawyer suggested.

“Really?” Ani stared back at her sister with her heart in her eyes.

“If we live together
, I can help you with Raffi and you don’t have to worry about leaving her when you come to bake in the morning. I can help you get her off to school,” Sawyer offered softly.

“Soy, you don’t ha
ve to do this,” Ani protested.

“I want to A,
I would love it.” Sawyer admitted.

“There’s a 900 square foot loft available above the f
ish market,” Ani grinned.

“Oh
great,” Sawyer wrinkled her nose. “Our apartment would smell like fish!”

“I thought lesbians love the smell of fish,” Ani teased her sister with a wicked grin.

“Oooh, and I let you off easy for the frosting,” Sawyer cried, tossing a paper coffee cup at her sister. “I’m never going to let you and Bast live this one down now!”

“Seriously Soy,” Ani laughed
, ducking as the cup sailed past her head. “Will you just come look at it with me today?”

“It just so happens I’m off today,” Sawyer
conceded with a sigh.  “Show me the listing.” She walked over to Ani’s laptop that was sitting open on the counter next to the register. “I’ll call Bobby and see if we can look at it after we close the bakery.”

The sisters knew the owner of the
building because he also owned the fish market below the loft and the neighborhood was small and intimate. Most of the local business owners and residents knew each other and shopped in the neighborhood stores and ate in the local restaurants. It was one of the reasons that Ani had chosen the South End area of Boston for her bakery. It was an eclectic neighborhood of art galleries and restaurants, and it was only a short car ride from the ritzier Back Bay area where she and Jordan lived. She also loved that it was close to the South Harbor area where she and Sawyer had grown up. South Boston had always felt much more like home to her than the Back Bay ever had.

Jordan was already living in
the brownstone in the Back Bay when Ani had married him; it had been in his family forever, so there hadn’t been any point to them moving somewhere else. But even though Ani had added her own touches to the place over the years, the grandness of it had never truly felt like home to her.

When Sawyer called
Bobby at the fish market, he was thrilled that she was interested in the loft, and he agreed to show it to the sisters in the afternoon. Raffi was staying after school for her violin lesson, so the timing worked out perfectly