Authors: Louise Candlish
The phrasing was a little casual, as if the lives lost could be spared easily enough, but then this was Lara. She wanted to know about attractive people doing attractive things, and dying by accident was not attractive.
âIt's nothing to worry about,' she said, âtake it from me. Drills are all strictly controlled by the coach and no one trains alone now. That's when accidents tend to happen, when someone's stayed on their own after practice. They're more exhausted than they realize.'
âWhat about when there isn't a coach? When it's just a regular swimming pool, like here?'
âThere are always other professionals â just look at the staff ratio here. I went to one of the lifeguards' briefings before this place opened and I can assure you it was all terribly serious. They scan continuously. If someone is seen motionless under water even for a second or two, they go straight in.'
âBut how can they always see?' I persisted. âIt's so crowded all the time.'
âThey're trained to see. They keep their eye on anyone behaving unusually.' As if understanding were dawning at last, Lara put down her sunscreen and reached for my hand. Hers was warm and greasy, white lotion caught
under the nails. âI know it must be hard for you with Molly. Believe me, I of all people understand. I mean,
my
mother was only a stage mother, she had nothing medical to worry about, not like
your
situation, but even so, I do get it.'
I blinked. A stage mother? She thought I was wildly overprotective, clearly. Maybe she was even wondering which had come first, the chicken or the egg, Molly's phobia or my hypersensitivity. Maybe she was wondering if the wife of her daughter's new tutor had a screw loose.
âYou're right,' I said. âThe lifeguards seem excellent. I chatted a while ago to the one called Matt â¦'
âOoh, good choice. I've slightly got a crush on him,' she said, her girlish, confiding tone signifying that our serious talk was at an end. âDon't tell Georgia, though, will you? Lusting after the same boy as your daughter, honestly, it would be quite â what's the word? â unseemly.'
âYes.' I couldn't help wondering what Ed or Gayle would say to
that
.
When I said I needed to head home, she decided to leave too, tucking her arm into mine and steering me on to the path leading to The Rise, the wrong direction for me. Did she know where I lived? Did she assume that anyone worth knowing lived on this, the more desirable, side of the park?
âI go the other way,' I said, finally.
âI know.' Her arm tightened, clasping me to her side with an endearing possessiveness. âKingsley Drive.'
Of
course, she must have made it her business to know where her daughter went for her maths tuition. Georgia cycled over, as I recalled.
âHow long does it take you to walk from here?' she asked.
âAbout twenty minutes. It's a nice wander, through the park, then under the railway bridge and along the high street.'
âYou have to cross the high street, do you?'
âYes, we're one of the roads just off the north side.' It amused me that she obviously hadn't set foot across the divide herself. âYou should come over some time and have a drink. You'd be very welcome.'
I was instinctively vague, however, for when I pictured Miles and her turning into Kingsley Drive, with its hotchpotch of thirties semis and postwar buildings, finding themselves at the door of our downright ugly eighties building, when I imagined them entering the dreary common parts and traipsing up the stairs with bemused expressions, wondering if the building might be ex-council, well, it seemed not so much shameful as fantastical.
âSure.' Equally non-committal, Lara released me. âNow, that reminds me. We wondered if you guys would like to come tomorrow evening for a movie.'
âA movie?' Did she mean a trip together to the Picture House?
At the sight of my face, she said, âOf course, you haven't seen our new screening room, have you? It's
pretty cool. Our little treat to ourselves when we were doing up the house.' (As if the rest of it were utilitarian and joyless.) âSay you'll come, it'll just be a few of the gang. A kind of celebration of our new local treasure.'
Preposterously, for a second I thought she meant me and I blushed, but of course she meant the lido.
âIt will be
La Piscine
, in case you hadn't guessed.'
âI'll have to check we're free,' I said, knowing we had only a provisional plan to drop in on Sarah for an early-evening drink. Two invitations to the Channings' in seven days â how exciting to find ourselves in a social flurry after all these years. And there could be no objection from Ed this time, surely: he'd ended up having a lovely time at the lunch.
Breaking my own pointless embargo, I texted Gayle as I walked home:
Guess who's invited Ed and me over tomorrow? The Local Celeb
. When reporting on it afterwards, I would incorporate details from the first visit, thus solving the problem of my previous secrecy.
Gayle's response â
You don't mean Lara Channing? Why would she do that?
â hurt my feelings a little, though I was not so deluded as to fail to recognize it as a reasonable question. For while no one would question my having been charmed by her, why
she
should have taken a shine to
me
was less plain. It couldn't simply be to keep her daughter's tutor sweet: she was paying Ed very well and presumably paid many different people for their services without inviting them to a private screening in their home. Had she made some sort of project of me, then,
her compassion stirred by that story about my birthmark? Might I expect a makeover (I was the first to admit that I needed one)? Or was it Molly she pitied? âI'm determined to get her in the water,' she'd said. Was the befriending of Ed and me part of that larger altruistic aim?
Perhaps it was simpler: she just happened to like us â
me
. I imagined her saying to Angie, âI know I said I wouldn't take on any new friends, goodness knows I don't have the slots, but there's something about Natalie, don't you think?'
And Angie would say, âI know what you mean â'
Stop
, I told myself, before I could script the whole conversation. There was such a thing, after all, as making a fool of yourself in your own head.
âDo you think we should bring Molly?' I asked Ed.
This being an evening at the Channings', there was a certain vagueness regarding arrangements. Not so long ago this would have vexed me, not least on account of the corners I'd have to cut with household chores to accommodate the impromptu date, but it seemed this was a learning curve I was scaling with enthusiasm. To hell with the chores.
âI'm sure she's welcome,' I added, âbut it might be a late night. I could ask Sarah if she can help out? We'll be there beforehand anyway so she'd probably be happy to babysit if Molls stays up there.'
But Molly bristled at both the term and the suggestion. âNo, I want to come. Anyway, Georgia's expecting me to be there.'
It was news to me that the girls were directly in touch, though it was in no way surprising since the march of social media meant that, in spite of our most scrupulous parental blocks and spot checks, our daughter was in contact not only with complete strangers but also, in some cases, their pets. She had not had older friends
before and I had mixed feelings about the development. On the one hand, older girls were a risk, what with all the inappropriate activities they might introduce to a younger child; on the other, they could be a good influence, a boost to self-confidence. And let's not forget this was no ordinary girl: this was the daughter of Lara Channing. There'd be kudos for Molly if she socialized with Georgia and her friends (even if the word itself was no doubt disused and mocked).
âGreat,' I said. âWe'll all go.'
âAre we having dinner there?' Ed said.
âI don't know. Lara didn't say.'
âCan't you phone her and ask?'
âIt's just a movie, so probably not dinner. Maybe there'll be popcorn. We'll feed Molly just in case.'
â
Feed
me? I'm not Inky!' Molly protested.
I sighed. âI meant we'll lovingly prepare you a balanced snack so you're sufficiently nourished.'
â
I
'll need to be sufficiently nourished as well,' Ed said, digging his heels in.
The two of them were driving me up the wall. âWhy's everyone fussing about food?' And then I felt guilty for snapping, for allowing the excitement of a second invitation to the Channings' to eclipse my domestic responsibilities. âMolly will make a cheese omelette for you both,' I told Ed, which I knew would please him since we were of one mind that Molly needed to expand her culinary repertoire beyond a bowl of Shreddies and Marmite on toast.
With
that, I retreated to the bedroom to shower and change. It was oppressively humid again, the gentle slap of door on jamb the only clue that air was stealing through the open windows, and my make-up was melting even as I applied it. I dressed in a lucky find from the charity shop on the high street: a paisley print hip-length kaftan in black, purple and green that had washed and ironed beautifully. It was two sizes too small but the style was loose enough for it not to matter. I liked to think my denim skirt slid more easily over my hips thanks to the swimming, though there was no denying the way the waistband cut into my skin when I sat down.
âOff to Woodstock, are you?' Ed said, when I emerged.
âVery funny. You look gorgeous,' I told Molly, who wore a tiger-print top with the shorts and tights combo favoured by her age group even in a heatwave. But compliments from mothers had little value these days, and she raised her eyebrows at me as if questioning a joke in poor taste.
âRight, let's go up.' I gestured to the detritus from their snack. âLeave this mess, we'll clean up in the morning.'
âOh, wow,' Molly said. âDid you
actually
just say, “Leave this mess”? Is this, like, a
miracle
or something?'
âOnly one drink,' I warned Ed. âIt's already six thirty, we don't have long.'
But this was one instruction too many and he frowned in resistance. âCalm down with the military precision,
Nat. We can be a bit late leaving Sarah's. She's been in the diary a lot longer than this thing at the Channings'.'
To my dismay, he
had
objected to the date â or at least been lukewarm.
âBut I thought you had fun at the lunch?' I said.
âSure,' he said. âIt was fine for a one-off.'
âWell, at the very least we would have had to invite them back,' I pointed out.
âHmm, maybe with Craig and Gayle?'
âMaybe.' How could he not see what a disastrous match
that
would be? Lara with her flippant remarks about attractive teenagers and Gayle with her determination to disapprove.
At Sarah's, there was happy commotion as Inky, having not seen Molly for some time, leaped like a yo-yo to lick her face before drawing her to the floor to wrestle. Though it meant I had to mop up a spilled drink, the routine heartened me: the day Molly stopped mucking about with Inky â on account of her hair, perhaps â was the day I'd really know she'd outgrown us.
Amid talk of our taking the dog on our approaching holiday in the New Forest, my phone pinged and I saw it was a text from Lara:
Just mixing the first Martinis. See you soonest!
And I found myself going to the window, as if La Madrague were visible from it and not a mile and a half away on the other side of Elm Hill. Sarah's armchair remained angled towards the junction with the high street â and I thought how lonely it looked, that single seat, compared to the collection on the Channings'
terrace. Sarah, like my mother, had divorced in the years following her children leaving home.
Through the glass, the heat of the evening sun seemed to swell, not recede, the leaves on the trees powder-dry, utterly still.
âNat?'
I looked up to find Ed and Sarah expectant of an answer to a question I'd missed. I returned to my seat. âSorry?'
âI was just saying to Ed how well you're looking,' she said. âYou've been swimming, he says.'
âYes, I've been to the lido a few times. I'd forgotten how much I love the water.' I was careful not to be seen to exchange glances with Ed for Molly was acutely sensitive to a ploy. It was all very well Bryony advising me not to make a big deal of my own swimming, but it sometimes felt that not making a big deal
was
the big deal.
âMaybe we can all go together when I'm mobile again,' Sarah said to Molly, and I knew Ed would be in silent agreement that it was ideal for the suggestion to have come from her.
Not that Molly responded to it. Surfacing at last from games with Inky, she joined her father on the sofa. âShall I top up your drinks?' she offered.
Like Georgia, I thought, and as she poured the wine Ed, to his credit, did not lecture her on the evils of handling alcohol.
âIs there a plan yet for your birthday trip?' Sarah asked us.
My
birthday was at the end of August and it was a tradition to celebrate it on the bank-holiday weekend with a couple of nights away. It struck me how horribly predictable we were when our neighbours knew what we were doing weeks before we did. âI haven't checked which day it falls on,' I said, in an act of small defiance. I did know, of course. It was the day of Lara's pool party, the Last Day of Summer.
âIt's a Sunday,' Ed said, adding to Sarah, âI have a few ideas, yes.'
He chatted on, oblivious to the time, until at last I felt I had no choice but to get to my feet mid-conversation. âSorry to love you and leave you,' I told Sarah, âbut we're expected somewhere for dinner.'
âA barbecue?' she asked, and the thought of Miles Channing tending chicken thighs over smoking coals made me chuckle.
âWe don't even know if it
is
dinner,' Molly told her. âMum hasn't got a clue.'
âI'm sure Mum has a perfectly good clue,' Sarah said. âWhere are you off to?'
âIt's Lara Channing's place,' I said, âjust on the other side of the park.'
âYou mean that actress we talked about?'
âYes.' Again, I couldn't help being gratified by the astonished reaction. It seemed a lifetime since I'd flipped through Sarah's magazine and made those ignorant comments about Lara; I rather pitied the old me. âEd's tutoring her daughter and we've got to know the family a bit.'
âThat's
why Mum's wearing that weird top,' Molly said. âShe's trying to look cool.'
When do they learn tact? I'd asked Gayle not long ago, but untypically she'd had no answer ready, had just pulled the same hopeless face she'd worn when I'd wondered about wet towels left on the bathroom floor or snacks discarded in the foot well of the car. âI'm not sure they ever do,' she'd said eventually.
Arrival at La Madrague felt different in the evening. Though it was still light, a trail of copper lanterns burned along the pathway, lending the place a seductive, adult air. This, in spite of the appearance at the door of Everett, still in clothes dusty from the park or garden, a sprig of turf attached to the toe of his trainer. âMolly!' he said, as if she were there on her own.
âEvening, Everett,' Ed said, and I guessed he was thinking, as I admit I was, that at his age he should probably have been in bed by now, or at least bathed and in his pyjamas. As the boy scampered off to alert an adult, I sensed Ed's impatience.
âSorry we had to abandon your debate with Sarah about the new slip road,' I said, but it sounded sarcastic when I'd meant only to be humorous and, unsurprisingly, it failed to raise a smile. No matter: I was confident that Lara, as last time, would work her magic on her reluctant guest.
We assembled once more on the terrace, Angie and Stephen comprising the rest of the âgang', along with their
children and dog, a miniature greyhound named Choo. We were serenaded by what I already thought of as the Channings' signature music, all creeping piano chords and crackling, moan-like vocals. In the soft evening light, the greens of the park swarmed like a billion butterflies and I felt immediately connected, powered by light and colour.
âHard liquor coming your way,' Lara said, as she and Georgia distributed the promised Martinis. They were both dressed in white and I thought once more of those pictures of famous actresses and models posing with their daughters. How did it make you feel, when you were adored for your beauty, to watch yourself wither as the other bloomed? How much fun was that? Conversely, to remain always in the other's shadow, even at your youthful peak, how did
that
feel?
Better to be ordinary, perhaps.
âI hope you're paying your daughter for her waitressing service,' Stephen said to Miles. âDoes she work for tips?'
There was a lascivious undertone to his comment, exacerbated presumably by the very alcohol the girl dispensed, but Miles did not react. His composure was not only enviable but also a little mysterious. I had decided by now that, of this group, Stephen was not my favourite. There was something about him that made me nervous.
It was pleasing that Lara and Angie complimented me on my new top. When Georgia gave it a second â and a third â glance, I really knew it must pass muster.
The Channing home cinema, on the ground floor, was quite an indulgence. The screen was almost as
large as the smaller ones in our local multiplex, the seating comprising three tiers of red-velvet sofas, and there was a gleaming wheel of a drinks trolley, presumably an art-deco original, with a thicket of bottles and a tray of polished crystal. There was even a little cloakroom wallpapered with vintage maps of Hollywood.
As Miles took care of technical requirements, Lara called over her shoulder and up the stairs to the children: âAre you guys coming for the movie?'
Ed objected before I could, though I would not have physically raised a palm, as he did, in the manner of a lollipop lady. âNot Molly, if you don't mind, Lara.'
She halted, stricken. âGoodness, I didn't think! Does she not like to see swimming pools on screen?'
As a matter of fact, she could tolerate it well enough, but that, I knew, was not Ed's primary concern. Earlier, I'd seen him look up
La Piscine
for just this purpose.
âThe film's a certificate fifteen, Lara,' he told her, âand it looks like it could be quite adult. She's only thirteen.'
âAnd Everett will need keeping company,' I added, before Ed could imply that our hostess planned to expose her own eight-year-old to sexual themes.
âQuite right, Edward!' And Lara clutched his arm with delight, as if it were a rare treat to be in the presence of such a law-abiding creature. âGeorgia, you take the younger ones back up to watch, I don't know,
Freaky Friday
.'
With this, she drew Ed to the front-row sofa and placed him between Angie and herself. More to my
amusement than concern, she proceeded to swing her legs across him to rest her feet on Angie's lap.