The Switched Baby Scandal (A Scandals of San Sebastian Novel) (Entangled Bliss) (16 page)

What if she didn’t feel the same?

When she offered to marry him, she had said it was for Emily’s benefit. At the time he’d been too shocked to notice clues in her movements as a gauge to how she was truly feeling. Was her friendly offer just friendly, or was there something more?

Her anger had been real enough, and so had the lack of communication that had developed between them. But if she cared about him and had felt rejected, wouldn’t that make sense? Until he knew her true feelings, he was certain he’d be on the losing end of any relationship with her.

A person just couldn’t give out a full measure of love and not have it returned. He’d watched Becca suffer through that, and it was difficult at best and horrible at worst. Every day she became a little more wounded and withdrawn, until there was just an amiable gap between them. He didn’t want that with Taylor. It would be all or nothing.

What scared him was the nothing.

Emily had stopped sobbing and cuddled up against him. He rubbed her back in a small, circular motion that had always soothed Alyssa.

“You don’t worry, sunshine. Daddy will fix it.”

Emily placed a small, trusting hand on his cheek, then smiled up at him with adoration in her eyes. “I know.”

For the first time in a very long time, he felt like he’d done something right and the invisible burden he carried with him lightened a little.

…

A week stretched into an eternity for Taylor as she waited for the court date. Alex had informed her that Reece had filed for joint custody and he seemed to think Judge Harris would be granting it.

The morning sickness hadn’t eased up yet.

Taylor grimaced, choking back the nausea while she drove to the county courthouse. It hadn’t been until the second trimester that she felt normal with Emily. She supposed this baby was no different.

She rolled down the window, gulping in the fresh air. She’d made an appointment with a doctor, but already knew she had lost too much weight. Her clothes fit more loosely than they had since before Emily was born.

As she parked the car, Taylor tried to tamp down the feeling of dread welling up inside her. What if Judge Harris gave joint custody to Reece? What would she do then? Would Emily still live with her or be with her only part of the time? Would she still have to be in constant contact with Reece? At the rate her tummy firmed up and pushed out, it’d be nearly impossible for him not to notice that she was pregnant in a few months.

Taylor shook her head. That was a problem for a different day. Today she needed to concentrate on retaining full custody of Emily. She took the back entrance to the courthouse to avoid the group of reporters on the courthouse steps.

Alex dutifully waited for her outside courtroom 7B. Instead of leading her into the small room, he escorted her to the front of the courtroom. Thankfully, Reece wasn’t there yet.

Taylor let out a grateful sigh. “When is this going to start, Alex?”

Along with feeling sick, Taylor was finding that she needed to run to the restroom constantly. Her agitation only compounded the situation.

“We should be out of here in thirty minutes, no more. I talked with Judge Harris and she said this is to be a summation this morning.”

“Speak English for heaven’s sake, Alex.”

“She’s already made a decision. She’s just going to tell us what it is.”

Taylor nodded in understanding.

The door opened and an electric charge shimmied up her spine. Reece was here. She could feel him moving toward her, like a breeze that ruffled her hair and clothes, only this ruffled her feminine awareness.

She forced herself to stare straight ahead as they waited for the judge to enter the courtroom.

“All rise,” called out the bailiff. The honorable Judge Harris entered through the door at the back of the room and stepped up to sit in her black leather chair.

“Please be seated,” she commanded. There was a rustle as everyone sat down. Taylor flicked a glance at Reece’s profile and her heart squeezed. She wanted to work this out with him for Emily’s benefit, even if he wasn’t interested in anything permanent with her.

Despite her feelings for him, she was hoping against hope that Judge Harris’s decision would be in her favor. For extra measure, she crossed her fingers and held them behind her back.

“As you know, this is a very unusual case. However, at this point it has confounded even me. The court has decided to give the mother full custody at the request of the father.”

Taylor’s jaw dropped.

She swung her head to stare at Reece. He was gazing back at her, sadness intermingled with hope written all over his face. At first there was a rush of relief. Then all she could think of was why? Why had he done this?

The gavel dropped with a resounding
crack
that echoed what she felt in the wall of defense around her heart. They all stood as the judge exited the courtroom. Taylor crossed the aisle that separated them and wrapped her arms around Reece, burying her head against his chest.

“Thank you,” she whispered into his shirt, her throat too tight with emotion to do more. The inviting, woodsy citrus scent of him comforted her.

Reece placed a warm hand on her back. When he spoke, his voice hitched. “She belongs with you, Taylor. It’s the best I can do for her…no matter how much it hurts.”

She looked up into his face. Pain welled deep within his eyes. She flinched at the intensity of it.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

His eyes were wet with a sheen that could only be tears. He pressed his lips together in a firm line and nodded. With a trembling hand, he caressed her hair.

Taylor hugged him tighter. He radiated heat that was inviting, tempting, and totally inappropriate, but for the moment it didn’t matter.

Reece wrapped his arm around her, drawing her in, while his other hand cradled the base of her head.

“I love her, Taylor.”

She looked up at him, drawn in by the soft chocolate-brown of his eyes. “I do, too.”

Chapter Fourteen

The next few days were awkward. Reece never pressed to see Emily, but Taylor made sure he did every day. Of course, this meant that she saw him every day, too. It might have been on purpose, but Taylor wasn’t sure anymore. She liked being around Reece. His change of mind about custody had thrown her for a loop. And while it was an amazing gesture, it didn’t mean he loved her…or wanted to be a father to the baby growing inside her.

Unfortunately, just because they saw one another briefly every day that didn’t mean that they
talked
. Their conversations hadn’t carried on for more than a minute or two since the day in court. Both of them had been busy and things just seemed to go along. But Taylor realized the baby wasn’t going to stop growing just because their relationship was stalled.

She needed to tell him.

But tell him what?

Hi, Reece, don’t forget Emily has a dentist appointment at three, oh, and by the way, I’m pregnant with your child.

Yeah, right. That would fly into the conversation like a plucked ostrich.

She glanced at the clock. He’d arrive in five minutes. Her heart rate revved up. Just the idea of seeing him made her more aware of everything. She walked down the hall. “Emily, your daddy will be here soon. Are you ready?” The word daddy came easily now, Taylor realized with a start. When had that happened? The minute she realized in the courtroom that Reece would sacrifice anything to take care of Emily. He deserved to be Emily’s daddy in every sense of the word.

Emily popped her head out of her room as Taylor passed. “Almost.”

“You still haven’t eaten breakfast. It’s waiting for you on the table.”

“What is it?”

“Hmm, it’s Saturday. So it must be…”

“Pancakes!” Emily squealed and rushed to the kitchen.

“Feed one child, check.” Taylor mumbled to herself as she walked into her bathroom. She quickly ran a brush through her hair and applied a little makeup. She definitely didn’t want to look frumpy when he arrived. Just seeing him put a bounce in her step, even though she’d been too shy to admit it to him.

Why was that?

She stopped applying the mascara midstroke as the thought caught her.

She wanted him. Not just as a daddy for Emily or the baby she was carrying, but as a man, a husband. All this time she’d told herself, made herself believe everything she did was for Emily. But the truth, now stark naked and standing out in the bright light of realization, couldn’t be ignored. She had come to love him, not just for his strength during the hard times, or his kindness, but for a hundred little things that were unique to Reece—like how he held the door for her or stood up when she walked into the room. How his tie always complemented his shirt color in a way her designer’s eye found charming. Even the way he joked around with Emily and cut the crusts off her sandwiches—things that her father never would have done.

Her body had told her that from the first time they’d touched, and in an angry moment when she was reminded too much of her issues with Michael she had pushed the notion away. Only now was she beginning to recognize her own needs. As much as she had lived her life for her daughter, she had a right to live for her own happiness, too. Taylor stared at herself and felt as though she was looking at a stranger in the mirror.

“You really do love him, don’t you?”

The image in the mirror nibbled at its lip, then nodded. The doorbell chimed, and Taylor smiled at herself.

Since it was the weekend, she knew Reece wasn’t in a rush to get Emily to preschool. She decided to take a chance. As she swung the door open and saw him, her heart stopped, then picked up its rhythm in triple time.

This is the man I want to spend my life with.
“Do you want to come in for coffee?”

For once, he stopped on the step of her condo and, instead of shepherding Emily out to the car immediately, he grinned and came into the house. “I think I’ll take you up on that.”

“This way to caffeine central.” She motioned him to the deserted kitchen. Without a thought, she picked up Emily’s syrup-smeared plate and put it into the sink, then turned and took down two mugs from the cupboard and popped a small container in the coffeemaker.

Into one mug she plunked an herbal tea bag, followed by hot water. She waited for the coffee to brew, then filled his cup. Just one spoon of sugar and a dollop of milk in his, and two sugars for her. She knew him well enough that it was automatic. Funny how that happened.

She handed him the mug. His fingers brushed against hers, sending a tingle of awareness crackling along her body. Taylor sucked in a breath. His eyes widened. It didn’t seem to matter that Emily was taking her own sweet time getting ready to go.

“No coffee today?” He was standing right beside her, and his warmth was sending little electric sparks zinging over her skin.

Taylor grinned, cradling the warm cup in her hand. “Trying to cut back to six cups a day,” she teased. In reality, she hadn’t touched coffee since she’d taken her pregnancy test, but she still loved the smell. But that wasn’t the sort of thing one blurted out over morning coffee.

“So what adventures are you two off on today?” Her nerves were humming at a fevered pitch. Did he sense it, too?

“I think we’re going to Jungle Jane’s,” he said with a sly smile. “Wanna come?”

“Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Between Nurse Terrate being taken into custody in Nevada and the court case having resolved, I think we’ll be safe. If there are issues, you know I’ll take care of it. Sure you don’t want to come? Last offer.”

Taylor smiled into her cup. “No thank you. I’ve seen enough animal print lately to make me loathe it.” One of her clients was in safari decorating mode and Taylor was just waiting for it to pass. “Ms. Hughes just ordered another two of the decorated tables.”

“The ones you said had a different animal print painted onto every surface?”

“Um humm, the very same.”

She looked directly into his face. Reece had screwed it up in a grimace that reminded her of Emily to a T.

“You know Emily gets that face from you.”

Reece broke into a grin. “Sorry. No kid should have to suffer with a mug like this.” He took a sip of coffee and set his cup down on the counter.

Taylor reached forward and stroked his jawline with one hand while she set down her ceramic cup with the other. “I happen to think she has a very cute mug.” His velvety-brown eyes drew her in, just like they did every time she looked into them a moment too long.

Without a word she leaned forward, grasped him by the collar of his shirt, and pressed herself up against him from the lips down.

Reece responded, deepening their kiss, forming her body to his. Taylor could taste the rich, exotic flavor of coffee on his tongue. She traced over the taut muscles of his chest with her hands. She nibbled at his lip, eliciting a feral growl from deep within him.

“Where’s Emily?”

“In her room.”

His kiss was hungry as he slid his warm hand up along her ribs, cupping a breast in a heated palm. His finger brushed over her hardened nipple, making an arrow of sensation bolt down her body. She was already aching for him to touch her.

His hand slid lower, over her stomach, and Taylor jumped back from his touch. What if he could feel the slight firmness that wasn’t there before?

“What?” His breathing was ragged.

Taylor swallowed. “I thought I heard Emily.”

He grabbed her against him and gave her a fierce kiss, then let go.

“We’re not done with this.”

Her heart flipped.

“I’ll be right back.” Taylor skidded out of the kitchen, grateful her wobbly legs didn’t collapse under her. She sagged against the wall of the hallway, while she listened for Emily, and couldn’t help but smile.

He still wanted her, too.

She held her breath to slow the rapid pace of her heart, then tiptoed up to Emily’s door and peeked in. Emy sang her own song to herself as she packed an assortment of toys into her bag.

Taylor quietly backed away from the door, lifted her chin, and strode back into the kitchen.

“How is she?”

“Playing happily and singing to herself.”

He gave her a nod, then rubbed his jaw, apparently feeling a little awkward about what had just happened. “I’m sorry if—”

“Shh…” Taylor placed her index finger on his lips. “You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who kissed you first, remember.”

A fresh sparkle entered his eyes, making her even more aware of the new bond between them. Taylor gently brushed her hand over her stomach, then catching herself, reached out to touch him. His stomach quivered beneath her touch as she glided her hand over it and up his chest.

“I understand now.” She stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing them up against each other.

“Understand what?”

She looked him in the eye. “Why you didn’t say yes that night.”

“To your proposal?”

Taylor nodded. “You’re still mourning, aren’t you?”

His eyes told her before anything else. A darkness stole over his eyes and robbed them of that living sparkle from a moment before. Inside Taylor crumpled. Her mother had said he was still grieving, and she knew she was right.

“I still have a lot of feelings about my family that I need to resolve. I’ve started, but I’m not there yet. I’m just not ready to let go of Rebecca or Alyssa completely yet.”

Taylor bit her lip and nodded. What else could she do? She’d just been told by the man she loved that he loved someone else—a dead someone else. At least that’s what it sounded like to her.

Taylor pulled away from him, hurt but not angry. How could she be angry when she understood his loss so acutely? Her heart ached for him…and for what was lost between them. He clearly wasn’t ready to have another relationship yet.

“Wait…”

She paused, looking up at him, waiting for him to say it was all a mistake, that he truly loved her, and that nothing would come between them.

But the words never came.

Taylor noticed the deep creases that etched his brow and the haunted look that glazed a chill over the warmth of his eyes. She wanted to reach out to comfort him, but it was beyond her abilities. She understood that ache, because she felt the same about Alyssa. There was a gaping hole that one learned to live with, but it didn’t go away.

He cleared his throat and looked down for a moment before meeting her gaze again.

“I was wondering if you wanted to visit her grave.”

Taylor started in surprise. “Rebecca’s?”

He shook his head.

“No, sorry, Alyssa’s.” Again he cleared his throat. “Have you ever been there?”

Taylor’s eyes burned with unshed tears. He was reaching out to her in the only way he could, and it saddened her because his loss reminded her so clearly of her own.

“I didn’t go by myself because I don’t know where it is exactly.”

“Would you like to go together?”

She reached out and gave his hand a small squeeze.

“Yes, I’d really like that.”

The lost child was a bond between them no one else had. Something no one else could break. Out of that shared pain, healing and, perhaps, love could come as well, for both of them.

The three of them piled into Reece’s Lexus and drove the short distance into town. At the cemetery, the cool breeze sliced through her. She inched closer to Reece. They had debated taking Emily with them to the graveyard, but in the end couldn’t agree who to leave her with, since Edith was out of town. Their little girl stood between them now, holding tightly to their hands.

“Mommy, are there ghosts here?”

“No, Emy, only angels.”

Emily visibly relaxed and looked up at her. “Will my stepsister be here?”

Taylor felt a pang of anguish wrap itself around her heart. How could she explain this to Emily, when she hadn’t even fully come to grips with the death of a daughter she’d never held? She gave Emily’s hand a small squeeze. “This is where people go to remember those they love.”

Emily looked crestfallen. Her bottom lip pouted a little. “Does she want to see me? I want to see her. I need to ask if she will teach me to fly.”

Taylor glanced at Reece. He was far away from the conversation, his eyes gazing off into the distance. She motioned for her daughter to let go of Reece’s hand and they moved a little distance away.

“You’ll see her someday, Emily. But not today.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Because Mommy needs to see her at the place we go to remember her. That’s what all these big square rocks are. Each one is a remember place for someone who was very special and loved.”

Emily nodded in understanding, then stopped and tilted her head to one side. “Can I go over and look at the flowers while you and Daddy remember?” Her small finger was pointing at some early daffodils and late crocus that were scattered in small patches against the wide rock wall.

“Yes, but stay where Mommy can see you.” She placed a kiss on Emily’s head and released her little hand.

She returned to Reece’s side.

He snapped out of his musings and looked down at her, the sadness lengthening his face. “Are you ready?”

“Yes and no.”

He grasped her hand in his and led her up a short, grassy walkway to a place where two stones with the name Wallace sat side by side. Hot tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the little angel face that watched over the neatly carved name of Alyssa Marie. Her stomach felt hard, her throat tight. She reached out to touch the cold stone with trembling fingers.

It was so cold.

My baby is so cold.

Gut-wrenching sobs racked her body.

God, this hurts.

…

Reece turned her in to his chest, handed her his handkerchief, and with gentle, soothing strokes rubbed her back to comfort her as she cried.

Emily came running.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

Reece looked at Emily and held out a hand telling her without words not to disturb Taylor. “It’s all right, sunshine. Mommy just needs to cry. Sometimes remembering makes us sad.”

Her little brows bent in concentration, and then she smiled so brightly that it lit up her entire face and made his heart contract. “I know what makes Mommy happy.” She darted off back to the flowers.