The Tale of the Blood Diamond (44 page)

“I’ve heard enough of this foolishness!” his father belted.

“Let the man talk!” someone yelled out.

“You think you’ve got the monopoly on this thing called salvation, but you don’t. I’m your son!” He tried to keep his voice from juddering as he pointed to his chest. “I’ll
always
be your son, whether you like it or not! I’m gay, Daddy! I was gay the day I was born! I was gay yesterday, I’m gay today, and I’ll be gay tomorrow! It ain’t gonna stop, it won’t change. You can either love me now, just as I am, or love me later, but later might be too late!”

“Jayson!” His mother raced to him, putting her arms around his neck, holding him tight. “Baby, I love you, okay?” She put her hands on his cheeks, squeezing them hard as she drew his face towards her. The poor woman’s eyes watered. “Ain’t nothing gonna change that.”

“Mama, I know you love me, I know that you do…and I am sorry, just like I told you years ago, for all the pain I put you through regarding my drug addiction. I tried to apologize to Dad, too. But you know what? Dad was so busy looking down on me, snubbing his nose, he didn’t even see me sitting at his side, man to man, asking for his forgiveness.”

The man stood frozen, as if his tongue had been cut out.

“Jayme said she never stuck up for me, but she did. She just tried to do it lightly, and now, you’ve ruined her party because you just couldn’t stop yourself. You
had
to make sure all of these people knew that you didn’t approve of me, in case there were any misunderstandings, right?” He quickly wiped a tear away. “Lord forbid everyone know that Reverend Knight’s only son is a homosexual…a queer! What would they think of him, hmmm?! Would they think he ain’t raised his boy right? Would they think he was gay too or maybe that someone had molested me, and that’s why I turned out this way? Oh, what shame!” He sniffed.

“I love you anyhow, Daddy.” Jayson zipped up his jacket. “I love you, in spite of yourself. I don’t expect you to change. We’ve never spoken about this, like this. It was always the elephant in the room. Well, now you got what you wanted. It’s all out in the open, isn’t it? Jayson is your worst nightmare. No longer your child. For because of who I love, I shall never inherit the kingdom of heaven! For I, Jayson Lamar Knight, shall always be a leper upon the community, at least in my father’s eyes! Well, let me tell you something!” he hollered as he took a few steps backwards. “I have
another
father, and he is called God, and he stepped in when you bailed out! That’s the one thing I thank you for, Dad… is teaching me how the love of God works. Too bad you didn’t take your own teachings seriously. If it wasn’t for my faith that you instilled in me, I’d hate you as much as you obviously hate
me
!

“…I don’t hate you, Jayson,” the man murmured, his body stiff.

“So many times, I wanted to just die in my sleep! So many times, I tried to kill myself with sleeping pills or pray I’d overdose…countless times! And do you know why, Daddy?!”

“Oh Lord, Jayson, please stop!” his mother wailed. He went on, ignoring the woman who couldn’t bear to hear the truth, but it was long overdue.

“I’ll tell you why. For quite some time, I believed I was everything you said I was. I figured that was why my life was so messed up. It was because I wasn’t doing as God wanted me to do. So, I tried to not be gay, right?” He gave a mirthless laugh. “I tried to live that life, go down the path you’d want for me, but it never worked out. So, one day, after Jayme went missing, and we thought she was dead, I prayed! I prayed for the first time in years!” His voice rang out from his soul, and he didn’t recognize it as his own.

“I got on my knees, and I said, ‘God, my best friend is gone — the only person on this planet that gave a damn about me, besides Mama. Jayme understood me though, she accepted me as I was. Mama couldn’t do that,and I don’t blame her; it’s just the truth is all.”

His mother looked down at the floor, as if ashamed.

“The last thing Jayme had said to me was in an argument she and I were having.” He saw his sister re-enter the room. “The last time I saw the woman, before I thought she was dead, she had screamed, cried at me to go to rehab. She was literally begging me, on her damn knees.”

Jayme turned away, no doubt crying silently. He hated to see her upset, but he had to keep going. This could be his last chance to lay everything out on the table.

“I cursed her out and told her to get out of my apartment. I had to live with that, knowing I had treated her that way, and those were the last things I said to my little sister! I had to live with that for the rest of my damn life! All she wanted was for me to be healthy and happy!” More tears streamed down his face.

“That’s all she wanted, and I couldn’t even do that. Well, after I thought she was dead, and right after that prayer, I took a long shower. I got dressed, called my job and told them I was entering treatment. My boss was relieved, and encouraging. He sat on the phone and told me to take all the time I needed because my job would be right there waiting for me when I got out. I got more love and support from him, an almost stranger, than I ever got from you, Dad! I went into treatment and I ain’t touched crack, alcohol, nothing, since! Jayme dying on me brought me out of that! It was a sobering moment that turned into an eternity. And now, here I stand. I am damn proud of who I am and all I’ve accomplished. It would be nice if I could gain your acceptance, but I can see that will never happen.”

He made his way towards the front door. Jayme raced after him, giving him a big hug. She was trembling all over. Jayson kissed her cheek and wiped her teary face with the side of his thumb.

“Now, you enjoy your party, little sister. You deserve it.” He grinned through the pain. “My baby sister is a sergeant now!”

He grabbed the doorknob but before he could leave, he felt another hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw his father standing there. The man’s eyes were moist with tears. He grabbed Jayson, almost taking his breath away, and hugged him so tight, he thought the man may break him. Not knowing what to do, he slowly returned the embrace,  gripped him tight, then a bit tighter. He couldn’t recall the last time his father had hugged him. It had been over fifteen years at least.

Everyone remained quiet and just watched. After a while, the mood turned into a virus — the emotions appeared to spread, become contagious. Xzion grabbed Jayme and kissed her cheek. Their mother joined in and kissed Zachary and Xzion’s faces. Jayson gasped for air, choking back tears as his father continued to grip him. Through the special closeness of human touch, he could at least, in this one moment, have what he always dreamed of. He didn’t know how long it would last, or what it truly meant, but for right now, it was as good as it got. He’d take it, relish this indescribable thing that was happening, and even if it were just his wishful thinking, he’d go ahead and give it a title:

A chance to repair, a chance to rebuild, a chance to start over…

*
***

One month later…

Jayme couldn’t believe it was really happening. For the next seven days, she was going on vacation. Not just any vacation, but to Zarkstorm. Xzion assured her he had everything just right, from the breathing modifications in the device she’d have to wear — unfortunately, he found no way around that and didn’t want to delay the mission — to food modifications once they arrived. She took a few deep breaths,å sure she was going to hyperventilate.

“Relax…” He smiled down at her as he strapped her securely into the pod. She reached out and seized his arm.

“Xzion, I’m…scared. I’m excited too, though,” she confessed, a smile on her face she couldn’t erase if she tried.

Zachary seemed oblivious, once again, to any need for concern. Instead, he sat in front of her with an assortment of toys and his favorite blanket.

“Everything is going to be okay. Don’t you know I’d never risk something like this if I wasn’t totally certain you’d be fine? We’ve ran the tests, and for the past two weeks, I’ve given you daily blood tests and physicals to make sure you were good for this. Now, when we take off, it is going to be…,” he shrugged, “unpleasant.”

“It’s going to be painful,” she said dryly. There was no need for him to pussyfoot around.

“Yes, okay, painful,” he conceded. “But it is short lived, and once we reach the optimum altitude, you will feel completely fine. You may actually doze off, which is ideal since the flight time is rather lengthy. I will be going slower than usual to help you and Zachary not become sick during the journey. If you become hungry or thirsty, on your left hand side are pouches of freeze dried fruit and vegetables. There are also two beverages; just be careful opening them.”

“Place them directly over my mouth, like you showed me.” She grinned and moved the chord a bit in her ear. The breathing tube was skinny and small, and ran from her inner ear into her nostril. It monitored her as well as gave tiny doses of oxygen. An ingenious contraption, and she was proud of her husband for coming up with such a device.

“Right. For the bathroom, it’s your seat, as I showed you, but just for reminder’s sake, it turns into a latrine. Just rise up a bit, but stay strapped in. Slide the disc over, take care of your business and put it back. Zachary will need assistance with this, so you have room here to reach forward and help him.

“…but he knows the routine.”

“Yes, and even though he is potty trained, he still may have an accident but he knows to tell you if you need help.”

Jayme nodded in understanding. Xzion took her hand and gripped it, giving her a reassuring nod. He kissed her forehead then made his way towards the front of the pod. A few minutes later, he’d started the engine and the thing was vibrating. She braced the  armrests and said a silent prayer, her eyes closed.  When she opened them back up, she found a comforting focal point: the back of her son’s head. She could see his reflection in the mirror Xzion had installed, and switched to that to see his face. His easy going smile lit up her soul, so she pushed her reservations aside.

“Jayme, place your in-flight oxygen mask on,” came Xzion’s voice over a speaker.

She did as instructed and before long, they jolted towards the sky at a speed she didn’t think was possible. Gritting her teeth to get over the shock, she cursed inwardly, sure she was going to puke up the bowl of Rice Krispies® cereal she’d wolfed down prior to boarding the damned thing. But just as Xzion had promised, her body relaxed and after a while, her headache and jitters began to slowly subside.

She glanced back ahead at Zachary, who was flipping through a board book with colorful pictures of ‘Elmo.’

I’m going to Zarkstorm to meet my husband’s family, and see where he grew up. Lord pinch me. I must be having some wild dream! If it is a figment of my imagination, I hope to never wake up…

*
***

Led by Xzion, Jayme waded through the crowd of Zarkstormians trying to get an eyeful of the ‘Earthling bride’. He’d pointed out several important monuments. Aton had arranged an elaborate dinner for that evening and she and Zachary were slated to be the guests of honor. They made it to an enchanting structure that left Jayme stunned. The vast room was shaped like an oval and it glowed bright blue. The décor was simple, chic and minimalistic; sleek furniture, straight lines, silver with wisps of ebony dancing at the corners, touches of elegance in just the right spots. The entire area looked rich yet foreign, for it truly was. The house had been built especially for their visit.

Xzion marched through the stark white, bright space and flipped on a monitor that resembled a television. Jayme wasn’t certain what to expect, but she was surprised at all the similar gadgets. In a way, it felt like she’d not left home at all.

On the screen, speaking in that special language she didn’t yet understand, was what she assumed to be a news reporter, giving a play by play of she, Zachary and Xzion. She grinned and pointed at the television as still shots of their arrival moved across the screen.

“Xzion!” she called out, placing her jacket over a chair and careful to not bump the skinny tube running out of her nose. “We’re on T.V.!”

“I know,” he replied. Soon she heard liquid pouring into a glass. He re-entered the room and presented a glass to her, filled with something pink and frothy.

She hesitantly took it, her brow lifted in curiosity.

“What is this?”

He took a sip; his eyes rolled as if it were the best thing on Earth…well, Zarkstorm.

“It’s huwet. It comes from a plant. It is kind of like a lemon and lime mixed together.”

“That’s strange. Hmmm, I’ll give it a taste.” She was beyond thirsty. She’d tried to put the special water bottle to her lips in the pod, but ended up getting it all over her face instead. She tasted it and lulled her head to the side.

“Damn, that’s good!”

“I told you.” He grinned.

He looked behind her and spotted Zachary setting up his crystal globes just right. They were his new obsession — a challenging yet beautiful puzzle sent to him by Aton. Xzion clapped his hands.

“Come on, little guy! Uhhhh!” He swooped down and picked the boy up, breaking his concentration and causing him to protest yet smile all the same. “It’s time to get washed up and ready. You’ve got people waiting to see you.”