I TOOK
the city bus to school on Monday. Grandma had a cold, and her arthritis made it harder to get going in the morning now that it was cold and damp all the time. I made her promise the night before that she'd call Mrs. Burker if she needed anything. I hated not being around to help her myself.
Meanwhile, I had my own problems to worry about. I spent the bus ride looking at the people around me, wondering if I was being followed. The guy with the dingy brown hat pulled low over his eyesâcould he be after me? What about the woman with the flowered dress? Was that really a purse she was carrying? Was there something insideâmaybe a gun?
The bus dropped me off at the parking lot about twenty minutes early. The lot was dark, and as far as I could tell, empty. I knew other people would start to arrive in a few minutes, but for now at least, I was alone. I stood there for a minute, shivering in the cold morning air. Then I kicked the gravel for a while and worried about seeing Jack and Cam. That didn't do my nerves any good, so then I worried about my algebra homework. Finally I decided I needed something to distract me from what was to come.
I walked over to the misshapen tree at the far end of the parking lot and studied the limbs closest to the ground. Clumps of dead brown leaves hung from the end of the branches, rustling softly as a breeze passed through them. With a quick check to make sure I was still alone, I dropped my backpack, rubbed my hands together, and focused on a single large leaf.
Seconds later, my body was tingling and the leaf was winging its way to the ground. I stared up, and a second leaf sailed down beside the first.
Next I looked up at the branch. It was thin and swayed gently under a load of dead leaves. I focused on it, and with a satisfying crack, it snapped at the juncture with a larger branch, hung at a crazy angle for a moment, then fell straight to the ground in front of me.
I stared down with a now-familiar mix of triumph and fear. I still didn't understand the power, but I was coming closer. After two days of practice I had learned to summon that familiar tingle whenever I wanted it. I was becoming more adept at reading the tangle of forces around me, though I didn't know yet precisely what they were. I assumed at least some of what I was feeling was gravityâthe gravity of the sun and the moon, and the gravity of the earth. So far, all I could do was nudge those forces, alter their balance as they acted on objects around me. But I wondered what would happen if I unraveled them, or accidentally set them permanently in some alternative direction. I didn't think I had the ability to do that, but what if I did and just didn't know it yet?
The more I thought about it, the more nervous I became. We'd learned last year in my social studies class that the atomic bomb worked by splitting some of the bonds in an atom. I didn't remember exactly which ones, but I recalled that the bomb only represented a tiny fraction of the energy that could be released. If I severed some of those bonds, I could blow us all to kingdom come. That possibility alone convinced me to try harder to understand what I was doing, and made me desperate for someone to talk to about it.
My only option for that, of course, was Jack.
Or was it? Now that I knew about Jack, I couldn't help but wonder again what was really going on at Delcroix. Because it was difficult to believe that it was just coincidence that the two of us, with our strange powers, had ended up at the same school.
Then again, we were different from the other kids at Delcroix. Esther and Hennie had incredible gifts, but they were right there, out in the open. Everybody knew about them. Jack and I weren't like that. We didn't have gifts like the other students'.
But we're the ones Mr. Judan and Cam personally recruited. Why is that?
The familiar crunch of tires on gravel interrupted my thoughts. I spun around, hoping whoever was in the car hadn't seen me playing with the leaves. They were still far enough away that I doubted they could see the sticks at my feet, let alone notice a few leaves dancing to the ground.
That car was the first in the series now turning in from the highway. The time for games was over. I meandered toward the center of the lot and let the crowd surround me.
Esther arrived about five minutes later. She found me with uncanny speed, and ran over, her chest and backpack bouncing in an uneven rhythm. “Why didn't you call me this weekend?” she called out when she was still twenty feet away. “We were supposed to talk about Hennie and Yashir!”
“I had too much homework. Grandma didn't want me to call anyone until I finished it.”
Esther stopped in front of me, her hair a foaming cloud of black around her head. “That's okay, but we have got to get you a cell phone so we can text each other, at least.” She must have seen me looking at her hair, because she gestured toward it and grimaced. “I combed it. It's like a nervous tic or something.”
We both laughed, and I tried not to think about how embarrassing it was to be the only kid in the entire school without a cell. Esther dropped her backpack next to mine and scanned the parking lot. “Have you seen Hennie?”
“Not yet.”
I wondered if I should broach the topic now, or wait until later. I realized I should probably wait, but I was practically bursting. We only had one phone in the house, and the cord didn't stretch to my room, or I would have called her over the weekend and asked. I just didn't want Grandma listening in on my conversation.
“Esther, have you really kissed a lot of boys?”
“Well,” she said casually, still looking around the lot, “not a lot, but a few. Why?” She turned and gave me a sharp look. “Does this have something to do with Cam? Did he kiss you or something?”
“No, no!” I raised my hands in protest. “Definitely not. I was just curious, because, well, because I haven't. And I'm just wondering. About kissing, I mean. In case it comes up in the future.” I sounded like an idiot, babbling nervously as her steely eyes seemed to pierce right through me.
“Sure, right.” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, the truth is that it's a little weird at first, but totally fun. You just wait. You'll see.”
“What if you weren't sure if you liked someone or not, and then you kissed him?” I realized this was a very risky question to ask, because it would subject me to further interrogation down the road. But if anyone knew the answer, it would be Esther. “Could you tell if you were meant to be together? By kissing him, I mean?”
This had been driving me crazy all weekend. If I was meant to be with Cam, why had I liked kissing Jack? I knew Jack wasn't right for me, and I knew I couldn't be the girlfriend he needed, yet I'd still made out with him in my backyard. Why? I could blame it on the power, which always left me a little giddy and overwhelmed, or on the fact that it was my first kiss and I was curious to finally see what all the fuss was about. But in the end it came back to me, kissing Jack of my own free will.
“Oh! Well, you know, I'm not really sure.” She frowned, as if surprised by this apparent hole in her encyclopedia of knowledge. “I'm not sure you always have to like someone to like kissing them. But when you do like them, it's amazing. Like when I kissed Sam Hopkins for the first time. Wow.” Her face got all dreamy. “I thought I was in heaven.”
“Heaven, huh?”
Her description made me feel a little better. I wouldn't call what had happened in my backyard heaven. I'd enjoyed it, but there had been an edge of discomfort to the whole experienceâlike I knew it wasn't quite right.
It would be much,
much
better if Cam kissed me. Heaven, probably.
Not that that seemed like a serious possibility. We'd been hanging out for weeks, and he'd never made a move on meâand he'd had plenty of opportunities. If Cam did like me as more than just a friend, he had a funny way of showing it.
“Are you positive you aren't asking this question for a reason?” She narrowed her eyes. “Are you absolutely positive?”
“Oh, look.” I pointed across the lot, hoping to distract her. I wasn't sure I could be a very convincing liar, especially if I had to repeat what I'd said to Hennie. She'd see through me in an instant. “Isn't that Hennie's car?”
“Yep, that looks like her.” She shook her finger at me. “But don't think I'm going to forget about our little conversation.”
“Okay, okay.” This friend thing was a double-edged sword. It was nice to be able to ask these sorts of questions, but it also meant you couldn't keep secrets. Or at least you couldn't keep secrets about things like boys.
Hennie arrived, looking gorgeous as usual in a jean miniskirt and rose-colored shirt. Esther just had to tell her exactly what I had asked. Hearing the question retold made me squirm with embarrassment. Hennie looked at me with her usual deep, gentle gaze, and I had the feeling she already knew exactly why I had asked it.
But she didn't say anything about Jack or Cam. Instead she said, “I don't have nearly as much experience as Esther with boys. But last year at camp, Walter Maitland and I made out, and I'd had a crush on him forever.”
“Walt Maitland?” Esther interrupted. “Are you kidding?”
“He's a lot cuter than when you knew him,” Hennie said. “He plays football now. Anyway, I was going to say that Walt turned out to be a complete jerk. But he was so cute, I didn't even care. All I knew at the time was that I was finally kissing the guy I'd liked forever.”
“Andâ¦?” I prompted.
“Yeah, andâ¦?” Esther said. “I can't believe you've never told me this story before.”
“And he was a great kisser,” she pronounced with a grin. “I loved it.”
Esther and I both groaned.
“So you're telling me exactly the opposite of what Esther said?” I asked.
“Not necessarily. I'm just saying he definitely wasn't the guy for me, but I still wanted to be with him for a little while.”
“Basically there's nothing either of you can tell me,” I said.
“Pretty much,” Esther said.
“Thanks for clearing that up.”
“Any time.” Esther giggled.
A familiar black car with a dent in the side squealed into the parking lot. At the same time, the Silver Bullet arrived at the far side of the iron fence. Jack got out of the car, sunglasses shading his eyes, even though the sun had barely come up. He looked tougher than usual, with a leather jacket open at the neck and a pair of black jeans hanging low around his hips.
“How does a freshman get to drive, anyway?” Esther asked, nibbling her lip shrewdly as she watched him amble across the lot.
“He's got a fake license,” I said without thinking, and then gave myself an inward kick. He probably hadn't meant for me to pass that information along.
“Oh.” Esther's eyes widened.
Hennie's eyes narrowed, and she glanced back and forth between us. You could practically see the wheels turning in her brain, and I wondered if she was hearing that second voice she'd told us about in the library. Luckily for me, though, she was kind enough to not to say anything then and there.
Esther and Hennie weren't the only ones who'd spotted Jack. I noticed at least a dozen other heads turning, Allie's among them. This inspired a jolt of somethingâjealousy? Pride? I'd be lying if I didn't admit that part of me wanted everyone to know he had kissed me, that I had attracted the attention of someone good-looking and dangerous. But the bigger part felt a sense of regret. Watching him now with slightly more clinical eyes than I had before, I felt more certain than ever that I'd made the right decision.
The heavy iron gate retracted, and the metallic voice blared loud enough to be heard across the parking lot. “Caution, the gates are opening! Caution, the gates are opening!”
The Silver Bullet pulled through slowly and ground to a stop. Allie ran over to walk with Jack the rest of the way to the bus. Just before they passed out of view, he pushed up his sunglasses and swept his gaze around the lot. He could have been looking for anything, but I knew he was looking for me. He stopped a second later, his eyes locked on mine.
I jerked my gaze away.
“Jeez, Dancia, he looks pissed,” Esther said in a hushed voice. “What did you do?”
I shivered, unable to keep from looking back at him. His silvery glare lasted only a minute before he dropped the glasses back down onto his nose. Then he turned to Allie, and they moved out of sight.
“It's hard to explain,” I said, defeated. Jack had been my only chance for a friend who understood what it was like to have psychic powers. I should never have kissed him. I should have pushed him away from the start. Then maybe he wouldn't have gotten so angry at me, so hurt.
“You had to turn him down, didn't you?” Hennie said quietly.
I nodded. Hennie patted my arm, and Esther clucked sympathetically in the background.
“Whatever,” I said, breaking the spell. “It's over. We should get on the bus.”