The Taming of the Bastard (9 page)

“Don’t you like
them?”

“I love them.”
I was simply a little overcome.

“Good. I want
you to be happy Millie, I want to be the man to make you happy.”
Sam’s hand came to rest on my bare arm. His fingers caressed the
skin and I trembled just a little inside. His chest was so near to
mine, there was barely space between us for me to push him gently
away, even if I’d wanted to. His eyes glazed over with desire and
his lips drew close to mine.

“Are you having
a baby, Millie?”

Oh shit, shit,
shit. Paige had poked her head through the glass doors, her face
directed towards the balloons.

“No, sweetie,”
I replied, leaping away from Sam and trying to stay calm.

Why the hell
did they teach children to read so young these days? Bloody,
expensive, private schools.

“Then why is
the funny man giving them to you? Mummy says only people who are
married have babies and you’re not married. Are you?” She frowned
questioningly at my stomach and then my finger, searching for
either a ring or a baby bump, I’m sure.

Sam shrugged,
uneasily. “It was either that or ‘Happy 60th Birthday’.”

I ignored him.
“Go back inside Paige, and take Tori and Michael with you.
Angry
Beavers
is on in a couple of minutes.”

Now Paige was
eyeing me suspiciously. “But Mummy doesn’t like it if we watch TV
when it’s homework time. She said
Angry Beavers
is
detrimental to my intellectual growth because beavers can’t
talk.”

I pressed my
lips together. For Pete’s sake. “Well, we won’t tell her. Today
it’s our secret.”

Mollified,
Paige shuffled the children inside and I breathed a sigh of
relief.

“
Do
you
like them?’ Sam asked again, looking at me solemnly through his
clown makeup. I’d never seen him like it. He was positively humble.
And his lovely vanilla smell, mixed with coffee, was wafting in my
direction. It was making me dizzy. I wanted to kiss him and tell
him I loved them but the children were watching through the
window.

“They’re...
l...lovely,” I stammered. “And who knows, er, um, one day I might
have a boy.”

His shoulders
relaxed. I took the bundle from him and wrapped the string around
the rail of the verandah, happy to accept his small gesture, his
attempt to be romantic.

“Thank you,
Sam. But I still can’t understand why you’ve done all this.” I
looked into his green eyes, searching for a clue, which was
difficult to find under his makeup.

He took my
hands in his. His fingers caressed my knuckles. “I wanted to mark
the specialness of the day.”

Had I missed
something again? Adele was always saying I should watch the news or
at least read the paper but I had little enough time to get out of
bed in the mornings without fussing about current affairs. “What
day?”

“Come here,
you,” he said, and pulled me into his rainbow clad arms. “You
aren’t going to make it easy are you? I’ve never done this before
and you’re just gonna make me squirm. I knew you would, it’s one of
the reasons I like you so much.”

What in God’s
name was he on about? I frowned up at him.

Sam’s shoulders
heaved in a deep breath. He tightened his grip around my waist. I
felt his fingers lock in the small of my back. “I wanted to mark
the day I officially asked you to be my girlfriend,” he said
softly.

“Oh.”

“Is that all
you can say?”

“Oh shit?”

“Is that a yes?
Because I like you a lot, Millie. I don’t think I’ve ever liked any
girl as much as I like you.” He dropped a kiss on the crown of my
head. “And there’s been quite a few of them.” He added with a
cheeky grin.

Oh Sam. How
could I tell him that, as much as I was crazy about him, a
boyfriend didn’t figure in my life plan? It wasn’t that I didn’t
trust him because he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d fool
around or tell you things he didn’t mean. He openly admitted he
only ever spoke the truth. But I wasn’t shopping for a boyfriend.
Well, I didn’t think I was, anyway.

Luckily for me,
I didn’t need to say a word. Paige had her head out the door again
and was surveying the scene before her. “Is that man a real clown,
Millie? Mummy says clowns are dangerous.” She came to stand beside
me, her sky blue eyes showing more wisdom than their years. I gave
her shoulder a squeeze and scooped her up to our eye level.

“No darling,
he’s not real. It’s a costume, like your sun costume. This is… Sam…
my... (I looked into his eyes and they were smiling) ...my
boyfriend.” It felt nice to say it aloud. It felt good to see the
grin spreading across his big red clown mouth.

“Gosh.”

“Sam, I’d like
to introduce you to Miss Paige Richards-Shaw.”

Sam took her
little hand and shook it gently. Her Hannah Montana ring reflected
in his eyes and he squinted for a second before speaking. “It’s a
pleasure to meet you, Miss Paige. I’ve heard so much about you and
you’re even prettier in person.”

She seemed
delighted at this and blushed a little. I stood, amazed, that Sam’s
charm could even extend to the pre-pubescent. She gazed at him
quizzically. She seemed deep in thought or confused. “But aren’t
you…?”

“Oh no, it was
probably that other clown,” Sam laughed, chucking her under the
chin. “Well, I’d better get going. I’ll text you later.”

We waved as Sam
went down the front stairs and hopped into his car, a funny man in
a clown suit driving an expensive sports car.

“Are you sure
he’s your boyfriend, Millie?” Paige asked.

“Positive,” I
answered. There was a lovely warm feeling spreading through me. Sam
was my boyfriend. And underneath his silly outfit and ridiculous
ways he cared for me.

“That’s a
pity,” she replied, “I like clowns.”

“Me too, Paige.
Me too.”

As his car
swung down the sweep of driveway, a vision in ecru satin pyjamas,
floated down the stairs. Even with her eye mask pushed to the top
of her head and her hair sticking out like a golliwog Adele
maintained that fetching charm that Brian so loved. “Who was that
at the door, Millie?”

I looked at
her. I could lie, I thought. It would have been best to lie because
I knew she hated me having visitors when I was working but I didn’t
have time. Paige piped up.

“Millie has a
boyfriend. He’s a clown.”

Well, that was
one way of describing him.

Adele raised
her botoxed brow as far as it would go. “A boyfriend, you say?”

“Er... um ...
yes.” There was no use denying it. She was bound to find out sooner
or later. “But I didn’t invite him over, Adele, honestly I didn’t.
In fact, I don’t even know how he found out the address. I didn’t
tell him.”

I gazed
hopefully at her, praying her ‘migraine’ had not caused a rush of
hormones that would see her blow her stack.

“And he’s a
clown, you say, Paige?” She looked down at her daughter and back to
me. Her lip quivered. She was going to hit the roof, I could see it
coming.

Paige nodded
happily. “He’s very sexy.”

“Paige!”

Slowly, slowly,
Adele ran her tongue over her lips. She pressed them together and
pulled the tie on her robe tighter. “So let me get this straight.
You have a boyfriend .... who came to the door dressed in some sort
of fancy dress... in broad daylight... so that awful Jennings woman
from across the road could peer through her curtains and tell all
her friends at Karrinyup Country Club. Well.”

I quivered in
my boots. “Um yes, his name’s Sam. He works at
The
Lederhosen
with me,” I rushed, trying to make him sound as
pleasant as possible. I wasn’t awfully convincing.

“And was he
here? Dressed as a clown?”

“He bought me a
gift.” I indicated the swag of balloons and could see Adele’s
impossible eyebrows hit the roof as she read the caption.

“Is there
anything else you need to inform me of? I don’t have the time or
energy to find another nanny yet, you know, Millie. Good help is so
hard to come by.”

“Of course
not,” I gasped. “It was a silly gift.”

“From the boy
who works at the hotel? Sam?”

How many more
ways could I repeat it? “Yes.”

Adele was
silent. She tapped her forefinger rhythmically against her upper
lip for a second or two. She looked up at the balloons dancing into
afternoon breeze that was coming through the French doors.

“Well, I
suppose that’s acceptable,” she said, dawdling off in the direction
of the kitchen. “But next time ask him to dress in something a
little more ‘out there’. If that Jennings cow is going to tell the
town about me, it might as well be something juicy.”

I watched her
walk away. Now I was totally confused.

*****

A letter
arrived the next day, its windowed front and blue crest announcing
it was from the bank, its bold address letting me know it was for
me.

Dear Ms
McIntryre,
it read

We are pleased
to inform you that your pre-approval application for a mortgage has
been accepted. Based upon the figures you have provided and your
current account balance, an amount of up to thirty thousand dollars
will be made available to you for the purchase of property. We also
remind you that you are eligible for the first homebuyers grant to
subsidise the amount, increasing the effective amount that you will
be able to spend on your property.

I look forward
to dealing with you in the purchase of your new home.

Anthony
Barry.

Loans
Manager

Oh. My. God. It
was real. I now had enough funds to make an offer on a property. I
was going to change my life. But what about Sam?

Before I could
say ‘clown’, Sam and I became a couple. There was no way to
describe this turn of events but everything seemed to fall into
place, as naturally as me tripping over the carpet rug in the hall.
One minute I’d been experiencing a man drought; next I couldn’t get
rid of him. Everywhere I went he was there. And even more
curiously, every time I requested a roster swap or a night off, my
needs were met in an instant. I knew he had a certain allure, which
compelled people to love him and do as he wished, yet it was very
strange.

We’d been
seeing each other for a few weeks when Adele stopped me at the
bottom of the stairs late one afternoon. I was on my way for a date
with Sam, and running late at that.

“Ah, Millie…?”
she began, as if undecided whether or not to continue.

This wasn’t
good. She was looking me up and down, her face a mixture of
perplexed and cross. I hoped she hadn’t changed her mind about
another afternoon-slash-evening off. She was quite changeable when
she was at her ‘womanly time’ and the memory of last month’s day
spa incident was still fresh in my mind. Shrinking into the
banister, I didn’t know whether to pretend I hadn’t heard her or
stop and listen.

“Don’t you
think that’s a bit dressy for the movies?” she asked, her eyes
scanning my outfit critically, her lips puckering as they reached
my boots.

Probably, I
thought, but after spending the other Saturday in the company of
Kirby and Co, I was feeling a teensy bit inadequate about the way I
looked. Never one to compete with other women before, I felt the
sudden urge to lift my game for I had a notion that Sam might be
more comfortable with a city type of girl. My casual attire of
peasant tops, denim shorts and silver glitter sandals didn’t seem
to fit the bill.

“We’re going to
a restaurant afterwards,” I said, by way of explanation. I didn’t
want her to think I had no taste at all. “I want to look nice.”

“
Hmm
,”
she mumbled, frowning again, “Well, that outfit ought to do the
trick,” and wandered off into the conservatory.

I stood
listening to the click clack of her heels down the hall. What in
heaven’s name was she on about? What trick? Sometimes I wondered
what was in those pills she spent hundreds on at the naturopath.
Shaking my head, I took a final check in the mirror and tucked my
hair back behind my ears. I looked smart and sexy. Those other
girls had nothing on me.

Yeah.
Right.

*****

“Glad you
didn’t have to work?” Sam winked at me, as he opened the car door
for me to get in.

“Yeah,” I said.
“It was funny though, I was all set with my uniform on and then Bob
rang and said there’d been an urgent roster change. It’s never
happened before. I can’t understand it. And Adele didn’t seem to
mind either which is doubly bizarre. I’ve never been allowed two
consecutive Saturdays off since I’ve worked for them.”

Sam took his
hand off the ignition key and looked at me. He opened his mouth as
if to speak and then closed it again. Then he turned to the road
with a little half smile. It was almost as if he knew something I
didn’t and it infuriated me when he did. “It’s worked out well for
us, then, hasn’t it?”

“Guess so.”

“Anyway,
whatever, it’s great you’re here; I wouldn’t want you to miss this.
A movie marathon is one of the best ways to spend a day, apart from
watching the rugger, of course.”

And with that
he sped out into the traffic, no response required.

*****

“What are we
seeing?”

“A marathon of
three of the best films ever made...” Sam declared, as we arrived
at the cinema and headed in.

“Cool,” I said.
Any place where I got to sit in the dark with Sam sounded good to
me. Despite my fears about his movie choices being polar opposites
to mine, I wouldn’t have cared if it were a kickboxing marathon. I
was happy simply being with him. It made feel all gooey inside.