The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life (18 page)

Taoism. He needed to be more yin.

Tiande decided to take a look at his life. He got out a piece of

paper and started to describe his current life. When he read what

he’d written, he was stunned. Essentially, all he did was work

excessively long hours. He didn’t really do anything else. He didn’t have close friends or a family of his own. He was excessively

entangled with his work world. He thought back and saw that he’d

gradually increased his work hours until he was always the first to arrive and the last to leave.

As he reflected upon this, it hit him that his lack of energy,

poor sleep, and loss of appetite were all linked to working

excessively. He was clearly out of harmony. He finally understood

that stress wasn’t just bouncing all over the place and screaming. It could be quite subtle. In his case, it arose from his entanglement in his excessive behavior of working long hours, and it was breaking

down his body and mind.

With sadness, Tiande realized that he didn’t need the

additional money he earned from all of those extra hours, and that no one was forcing him to work so much or even asking him to. He

could work a regular schedule if he wanted. Tiande understood

that he needed to explore why he worked so much. But for now, he

was relieved to see a pathway toward getting his energy and health
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back: eliminating his excessive involvement with work. Then and

there, he made a commitment to finding other activities to engage

in so he could restore some balance to his life.

Janet’s Story

As Janet raced up to her apartment carrying two shopping bags

full of newly purchased clothes, she saw her neighbor, Mr. Wu. She really liked him. As usual, he was smiling and looked very calm.

Janet wished she could feel that way. She wished she wasn’t so

driven to shop and buy new things she didn’t really need, especially because she ended up feeling so guilty about her out- of- control

shopping that her purchases didn’t bring her as much enjoyment as

she thought they would.

Mr. Wu looked at Janet kindly and said that she seemed to be

somewhat on edge. Since she had known Mr. Wu and his wife for

some time, Janet decided to tell him about her problem. As she

explained her problem, Mr. Wu listened and nodded a few times

but didn’t say anything. When she finished speaking, he said,

“After you put your things away, why don’t you come over to my

apartment to have some tea with me and my wife?”

Janet gratefully accepted his invitation. She had been to the

Wu’s apartment a few times before and had always found it to be

quite peaceful. It was decorated very simply, with a several scrolls, a couple of ceramic statues, and a gurgling fountain. Everything

seemed to be in harmony. Mrs. Wu, whose smile was even brighter

than Mr. Wu’s, greeted her at the door, then gently touched her

elbow and guided her to a round table where Mr. Wu was

preparing tea.

As Janet sat down, she noticed that Mr. Wu’s movements were

slow and peaceful, yet focused. After preparing the tea in a small teapot, he poured it into three tiny cups. Handing Janet her cup,

he recommended that she first take a deep breath and slowly let it out, then look at the cup, then close her eyes and smell the

tea— all before taking her first sip. As Janet tried this approach, she felt her stress melt away. Mr. Wu asked Janet how she was

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feeling, and she said she hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time. She said it seemed like time had slowed down.

Then Mr. Wu asked Janet if she felt comfortable enough to tell

Mrs. Wu about the problem she’d discussed with him. Janet said

she did, and that she hoped Mrs. Wu could help her.

After Janet described her problematic shopping, Mrs. Wu

nodded. Then she asked Janet if it was okay if she offered some

observations. Janet said, “Please do.” Mrs. Wu then said that, in

general, aside from Janet’s concern about her excessive shopping,

Janet appeared to be somewhat hyperactive and fairly stressed.

Janet agreed.

Mrs. Wu said, “The fact that you recognize that you have a

problem with excessive desires to buy clothes you don’t need and

want to make a change is the most important step. Equally

important, you have acknowledged that you are challenged by

prolonged stress and being somewhat hyperactive. The next time

you are in a clothing store and start to think about your desire to buy something you don’t need or start to feel the anxiety linked to your desires, try this: Slowly exhale while letting out a big sigh.

Observe how you feel. Then do that two more times, taking deep

breaths and sighing as you exhale. Take another moment to

observe how you feel, and then simply walk away.”

Mrs. Wu then said, “One more thing. It’s important to smile

while you exhale slowly and let out a big sigh. If you are focused on smiling and sighing as you slowly exhale, you’ll feel relaxed. Your thoughts about buying the clothes will diminish, and as a result,

your desire to buy the clothes will subside. Over time, this will help you get rid of the stress associated with your desires.”

Interlude

As you were reading the stories in the first half of this chapter, you consciously focused, from an intentional, cognitive standpoint, or yang perspective, on the relationship between thoughts, beliefs, desires, behaviors, noninterference (wuwei), and not getting entangled in the affairs of the world (wushi) and considered how these interrelated factors are involved
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in chronic stress. Now it’s time to turn your attention to the meditative or qigong viewpoint, which is the yin perspective. Here too the goal is to remove chronic stress from a balanced and harmonious perspective consistent with Taoist teachings.

From the physical standpoint, the focus isn’t consciously directed toward the relationship between thoughts, beliefs, desires, behaviors, noninterference, and not getting entangled in the affairs of the world.

Rather, the focus is on calming and relaxing the body in order to still the mind and empty it of agitation. The physical practice also establishes harmony and balance by allowing qi to circulate freely, without

obstructions.

Qigong

In this section, in addition to learning the seventh posture in both the Baduanjin and Yijinjing sequences, you’ll learn the second posture from the Sun style of taijiqigong. This posture continues the exploration of the activation and circulation of qi initiated with the first posture of the Sun style of taijiqigong: Pulling Qi Left and Right. The slight difference between the first posture and the second will help you learn how to activate and circulate qi within a different framework. As you work with different frameworks, or postures, you’ll increase the depth of your sensation of qi.

After first practicing each of the three new postures and linking the seventh postures of the Baduanjin and Yijinjing to the sequences, reflect upon your experiences while performing each. What were your body and mind telling you about yourself? Take some time to write in your journal about what you experienced while performing these movements.

Practice Posture 2 of the Sun Style

Taijiqigong Sequence: Moving

Qi Up and Down

Remember to practice guan and smile throughout your practice of this posture— and all qigong. From the Wuji Standing position, which you
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returned to after the first posture, Pul ing Qi Left and Right, begin in the same way as you did in the previous posture: Breathing natural y, shift your weight to your right foot and step out to the side with your left foot so that your feet are shoulder- width apart and your weight is evenly distributed. Inhaling, move your arms forward, letting them slowly rise up until they reach the height of your shoulders, fingertips pointing forward and palms facing each other about a head- width

apart. Gaze between your hands.

From this position, exhale and bend your elbows, bringing your

hands back toward your chest until your hands are approximately an extended thumb’s distance from your chest, with your fingers pointing straight up and your hands perpendicular to your forearms. Twist the little finger of each hand slightly inward. The distance between your palms should still be about a head- width. Visualize holding a ball between your hands.

Slowly rotate this imaginary ball until your left hand is on top and your right hand is on the bottom, keeping your palms facing each

other and maintaining the distance between them. Your left hand

should be line with the middle of your sternum, and your right hand should be in line with your solar plexus. Make sure your shoulders are relaxed and down and your elbows are hanging down, not pointing

to the sides.

As you slowly take a deep breath, slowly and gently separate your

hands, pul ing your left hand up under your jaw and your right hand down just below the level of your belly button. Keep your palms facing each other as your hands separate. Visualize your entire body, from the soles of your feet to the top of your head, slowly expanding, like a bal oon being blown up, as you inhale. Pause briefly.

As you slowly and gently exhale, simultaneously slowly and gently

lower your left hand and raise your right hand until you return to the original position of holding a ball with your left hand on top and right hand on the bottom, palms still facing each other. Visualize your entire body, from the soles of your feet to the top of your head, slowly contracting, like a bal oon from which the air is slowly being let out.

Repeat six more times, for a total of seven repetition, slowly and gently pul ing your hands apart as you inhale, then slowly and gently pushing them back together as you exhale. After the last repetition, simply rotate the bal , keeping the distance between your palms the
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same, until your left hand is on the bottom and your right hand is on top. Then repeat the same sequence, starting and ending in this new position, for a total of seven repetitions.

After finishing the seventh repetition, pull your elbows inward and rotate your hands so that the fingertips of both hands point up, with your palms still facing each other and the distance between your

palms remaining about a head- width apart. Then lower your hands

and return to the Wuji Standing position.

As in the previous chapter, reflect on your experience. Did you

experience any sensations between your fingers and palms as they

slowly separated and moved toward each other? Did they feel con-

nected to each other? Did you sense any warmth, tingling, or pulsating in your fingers?

As your hands moved together, did you have a sensation of resis-

tance between your fingers and palms, as if you were pushing against something from above and below? Did it feel as though you were

pushing against a bal oon or bal ? Even though you didn’t see any-

thing between your fingers and palms, did you feel as though some-

thing was there?

As noted in the previous chapter, all of these sensations and feelings are acquainting you with the flow of qi. If you don’t initial y feel any of these sensations, that’s perfectly okay. Don’t try to force anything and don’t think about anything. Just feel, continue to smile and apply guan, and practice consistently and regularly. It may take some time.

Practice Posture 7 of the Baduanjin

Sequence: Rowing a Boat

From the Sitting in Stil ness posture, which you returned to after the posture Massaging Your Lower Back, uncurl your legs. Straighten

them and extend them in front of you, feet about shoulder- width

apart, with your toes pointing up.

Fold your thumbs into your palms and close your fingers around

them. Then gently push your hands forward at shoulder height, right
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arm over your right leg, and left arm over your left leg. Your arms should be parallel to each other and to your legs.

Now imagine that you’re in a rowboat and each hand is grasping

an oar. Keeping your legs straight out in front of you, inhale deeply and slowly and gently rotate both of your shoulders forward and then upward. Then, exhaling slowly, rotate your shoulders back and then down. Repeat six more times.

After finishing the seventh repetition, roll your shoulders in the opposite direction. As you inhale deeply, slowly and gently rotate your shoulders back and then upward. Then exhale slowly and rotate your shoulders forward and then down. Repeat six more times. After you

finish the seventh repetition, let your arms come to rest in your lap.

This posture loosens and opens your shoulders and stretches your

sides. Make sure you practice guan and smile throughout all of the repetitions.

Practice Posture 7 of the Yijinjing

Sequence: Nine Ghosts Pulling

a Saber

From the Wuji Standing posture, which you returned to after the

posture Pushing Out Your Claws and Showing Your Wings, slowly

take a deep breath and step to the left so your feet are shoulder- width apart and parallel. As you inhale, place your left hand on the small of your back with your palm facing out to the rear, and place your right palm on the back of your head with your thumb on your neck and