Authors: Elise Marion
Isabelle shrugged. “There’s nothing to it, I promise you. The men run the world and we are simply to bear their sons and congratulate them on their many accomplishments.”
Esmeralda giggled and Isabelle joined, her eyes sparkling as they hadn’t in weeks. There were still signs of sadness around her mouth and eyes, but Esmeralda was grateful to see signs of her old friend slowly rising back to the surface.
Damien found them a few minutes later, sipping coffee over dessert and chatting. He took a seat beside Esmeralda and helped himself to a bit of her dessert. Esmeralda slapped at his hand playfully. “You bad boy,” she admonished; the sternness of her voice did not quite reach her face. “Do not think that just because you are soon to be my husband, that you may now avail yourself to everything that is mine!”
“My dear,” Damien replied, smiling wickedly, “That is exactly what my becoming your husband entails.”
Isabelle stood. “Perhaps I should leave. The two of you have much to discuss.”
Isabelle’s impish grin told Esmeralda the she knew exactly the type of business Damien would like to discuss right now. His eyes were fixed on the luscious custard topping on her dessert
. H
e looked very much like he wanted to lay her across the table and slather her with it. Esmeralda pushed Damien away, her shoulders shaking with laughter. “Damien behave, you’re going to chase Isabelle away.”
“Isabelle understands,” he said, kissing her shoulder lightly. That slight touch sent a jolt like electricity through her body. Long weeks had passed since they had last made love and Esmeralda found she was as desperate to have him as he seemed to be to have her.
“As I said, I’ll be leaving the two of you alone now,” Isabelle repeated, edging toward the double doors of the dining room.
Just as she reached for the knob, the doors swung open to admit Alexandra, who swept regally into the room, leading another woman in behind her.
“Davina?” Damien’s surprise at seeing her was evident. She smiled softly at him and curtsied. “What is she doing here?” he queried, turning to his mother and ignoring her completely.
“Damien there is an important matter we need to discuss,” Alexandra said, motioning for Davina to be seated at the table across from Damien. Esmeralda stood.
“Perhaps I should leave too,” she said, moving toward the door where Isabelle hovered, unsure of whether to go or stay. “You probably want your privacy.”
“I think perhaps you should say,” Alexandra said. Her tone clearly told Esmeralda that this was not a request. “This involves you as well, I suppose,” she added.
Esmeralda chose to remain by the door, unwilling to sit across the table from Davina, who had been shooting daggers at her with her eyes since the moment she entered the room. Isabelle clasped her hand tightly in understanding.
“I had hoped that the two of you would be able to resolve this without my interference, Damien,” said Alexandra, “but Davina informs me that you have been avoiding her and have refused to see her on several occasions.”
Damien shrugged nonchalantly. “That is because there is nothing more for me to say to her. I made myself quite clear before. What is this about?”
“Davina is carrying your child,” she said,
a self-satisfied smirk crossing her features at
the look of sheer panic that crossed
Damien’s
features at this revelation.
Damien was stunned. His face had drained of all color and he stared blankly ahead, his face ashen, his eyes widened.
While she didn’t want to believe it, Esmeralda knew that it was possible.
Isabelle gasped, clapping her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. Esmeralda was silent, but looked as if she had been doused in the face with ice-cold water. She fell back against the paneled oak wall of the dining room and closed her eyes, wishing she could will herself to disappear. She did not want to be here for this, yet could not force herself to leave the room. Everyone stood or sat in silence for a moment longer.
Damien was the first to speak. “Are you certain?” he asked.
“Of course!” said Davina crossly. “I was examined by my physician.” She stole glance at Esmeralda and hoped the girl could see the smug satisfaction in her little smile. “I had hoped not to trouble you with this before your wedding, but Her Highness insisted you would do the right thing.”
Damien stood, running a
shaking
hand through his hair.
He lowered his head and examined the table silently for quite some time, his mouth pinched and his forehead creased with worry.
“This changes nothing,” he said quietly, his voice barely discernible. He turned his jade green gaze upon Davina, their normally warm depths cold and hard; his voice raised, his tone was sharp and brusque. “Do you hear me? This changes nothing!”
“Damien, surely you do not mean to abandon your child!” Alexandra admonished, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “Can you really be so selfish?”
“I have not said I will not provide for the child,” he said, turning his steel-edged gaze toward his mother, “I want the word of a physician that you are truly pregnant,” he continued.
“Of course,” Davina said smoothly. “My physician can be here in a moment’s notice to-“
“I want you examined by my physician,” he interjected. “Do you think I would trust you enough to believe you without adequate proof?” His laugh was rough and harsh and cut through the silence in the room like a knife. “You forget I know how vindictive you really can be. You will return when I summon you to be examined. If the physician finds you to be pregnant as you say, I will settle whatever amount you request upon you and the child. I will not give you or the child my name and you will speak of this to no one!”
“What am I to do?” Davina cried, rising to her feet, her shrill voice raised to a near scream. “Where am I to go? I’ll be ruined!”
“Honestly, Damien,” Alexandra admonished, placing a hand around Davina’s shoulders. “Will you not think of this poor girl’s welfare? She is quite right you know, you’ve absolutely ruined her.”
“I don’t care where you go or what you do,” Damien said, driving home the finality of his decision. “My decision will not change. I will not be forced into marriage by you or anyone else.” He grasped Esmeralda by the hand and led her from the dining room. “When I return I want her gone,” Damien threw over his shoulder before slamming the door behind him.
Esmeralda allowed Damien to lead her up the winding staircase toward his new chambers in silence. She wanted to cry.
Esmeralda
wanted to yell and scream at the fates for conspiring to keep her and Damien apart. She wanted to disappear. Instead, she followed Damien docilely until they were behind closed doors.
He strode over to the sideboard and poured himself a liberal splash of brandy.
Damien
downed the first glass with one long gulp and poured himself another. Once he had drained the second glass, he turned back to Esmeralda who had sunk silently into a chair near the door. She stared unseeingly into the fire.
“This changes nothing,” he said once again, coming down on his knees in front of her, grasping her hands in his. “We will still be together.”
Esmeralda shook her head. A lone tear slipped down her cheek and splashed onto the back of his hand. “Don’t you see, Damien? This changes everything!”
“No!” he bellowed, fairly shaking the walls of his chambers. “No! It can’t! I won’t let it!”
“I know you, Damien,” Esmeralda replied, her voice laced with the pain and sorrow he had caused. The sound ripped his heart in two. “You are not the kind of man to abandon his child,” she continued, “even if you no longer care for the mother.”
“I won’t lose you,” he said, burying his face in her lap and clinging to her as if for dear life. “So much has happened to keep you from me already. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you now.”
“The selfish part of me wants you all for myself,” she admitted, stroking his hair affectionately. “But I know in my heart I could never truly be happy with you, knowing what we did to poor Davina.”
“There must be a way,” he
pleaded.
“You must let me find another way.”
Esmeralda pushed him away gently and stood. “There is no other way,” she said, delivering the final blow to his already aching heart. “Think of all that has happened because your father shunned his responsibility to Nicolai. Do you honestly want to have a hand in making this child hate or despise you?”
Damien shook his head slowly.
Esmeralda
cupped his face in her hands and kissed his lips gently, longingly, maybe,
s
he thought, for the last time. He clung to her, savoring the feel of her lips and the taste of her tongue. He grasped her waist and pulled her close until she was starved for air. She threaded her fingers through his golden curls and drank her fill from him, memorizing the feel of his lips on hers to get her through the cold, lonely winter to come.
“If the physician should find that Davina is not telling the truth, I will come for you,” he promised, stroking the loose tendrils of hair around her face.
Esmeralda told herself not to cling to hope, but found herself doing it anyway. If Davina was lying about her pregnancy, then they still had a chance. “I love you,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his quickly one last time.
****
Two days later, Damien sat in the corridor outside one of the many rooms in his wing of the house, waiting for Doctor Keane to finish examining Davina. The physician had asked him to leave the room for the sake of the lady’s modesty and though Damien had protested, he was eventually coerced into sitting in the hallway. He did not trust Davina alone for a moment and had wanted to see her examined with his own eyes.
Damien knew he was being ridiculous
.
Doctor Keane had been a trusted physician for the royal family for years. Damien blamed his irrationality on the fact that he’d hardly slept in the last forty-eight hours. He had lain awake both nights, praying to God that Davina was not really with child, hoping that his relationship with Esmeralda was not too far beyond repair.
She did not blame him for this turn of events, he knew
. T
his had happened before he even knew her. Damien still blamed himself. He had been foolish to think he could outrun his past and make himself a better person with Esmeralda. The past seemed to forever come back to slap him in the face. He had tried to change, but the consequences of his past lifestyle were far-reaching and painful.
Damien
knew he could not abandon the child. He also knew that he even if he did, Esmeralda would never marry him now.
Aside from that, Damien would forever hae to live with the guilt of knowing
the child would not have much of a future without a father. He could not be as callous as his father had been and pawn his ex-mistress and child off on some other man. His conscience would forever eat away at him, as he knew it had his father. Of course, he could always send Davina away and raise the child himself, but knew he would forever regret that his child did not have a mother. He only hoped Davina would prove to be a better mother than his own had been.
If Davina were truly with child, he would have to marry her. The thought nearly made him sick, but there was no other option. He stood as Doctor Keane left the room, adjusting his spectacles as he closed the door behind him. All of his hopes were finally dashed when Doctor Keane spoke.
“She’s pregnant all right,” the doctor said. “From what I gather she is anywhere from two to three months along.”
Damien’s heart sank as the noose of duty and responsibility settled itself firmly around his neck. Despair settled in the pit of his stomach. “Thank you,” he said to the doctor, dismissing the man from his mind as he disappeared down the corridor.
Damien
stood outside of the room for a few minutes, pulling himself together. He would go in and face his future, however unwelcome it may be.
Damien
vowed not to make the same mistakes his father had made. He might not be marrying for love, but his child would be loved and well taken care of. His child would carry his name.
When he entered the room, Davina was seated on the edge of the bed, her hands folded demurely in her lap. She watched him silently as he crossed the room, waiting for him to speak.
“We will be married as soon as possible,” he said once he had reached her side. He folded his arms over his chest and looked down at her with contempt. Even the lust that had once been so apparent on his face when he gazed upon her was absent.
“I hope we can come to an understanding, Damien,” she said, reaching out to place her hand on his chest. He slapped her hand away impatiently and captured her wrist roughly in his hand.
“Do not make the mistake of thinking I care anything for you,” he said, his voice raw and naked in his misery. He pulled her close, his grip tightening on her arm. She could smell his masculine scent and was slowly falling under the spell of desire. The display of strength in the tightly corded muscles in his arm made her hotter for him than ever. She brazenly wriggled her body against his, brushing her breasts against his chest.
“Come Damien, surely you have not lost all the feelings you once had for me. I seem to remember you having one very strong feeling.”