The Thorndykes 1: Dispossessed (12 page)

Only then did she realize how much the ordeal had taken out of him. “You did more than the rest of us, didn’t you?”

“Except for Nathan. We’re older; we can take it,” he told her without apology. “You couldn’t give him the kind of support he required.”

“I’m not as ruthless. I couldn’t have pushed him as hard as you did.”

“No.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m glad of that. Nobody should be that ruthless.” He cupped the back of her head and nestled her against his chest. “It’s like a process of mourning, living a long life. At first, denial. No, it’s not true. Then anger, when you see friends and family die. Bargaining, when you think you can barter for people you love. Or find someone to convert them. Then guilt that you’ve lived longer than they have. Depression, which is the most dangerous phase of all, because nothing matters. That was when I did some fucking stupid things. Acceptance comes at a price.” Gently he drew back so he could look down at her face. “I don’t want you to go through that. Fuck, I don’t want anybody to. I don’t think it’s inevitable. You’re vampire-born, so it won’t be as bad. Many of your loved ones will live.”

“What brought that on?”

“Seeing your brother so close to death.” She loved that he answered her so honestly without prevarication. “He’s so young. It would have been worse than a tragedy. If that had happened, I’d have kidnapped you to get you to safety. Fuck your bar, fuck everything except keeping you safe.” His lips turned in a wry grimace, and he settled a quick, hard kiss on her mouth. “I’m getting soft in my old age.”

“You’re a very protective man.” She liked it, though she shouldn’t, but to have someone to lean on for once in her life—that was a luxury she never imagined she’d have. Nor did she fool herself. She wouldn’t have it for long this time either. She couldn’t hold a man like this. Jay was infinitely stronger, he knew more, he’d seen more; probably fucked more beautiful and accomplished women too. Certainly women with more experience than she had. She was a baby to a vampire in his prime.

“Never think that way.” As if compelled, he kissed her again, taking her in a way that was desperate. Greedy. “You’re worth it, as I heard somebody say.” Smiling, he tipped up her chin, held it so she met his gaze. Or maybe he was just good at appearing that way. How the hell did she know? “Bright, clever, beautiful, and you’re teaching me things I once knew and I forgot. Like how to have fun, and how to take people at face value. Distrust is corrosive, and something I have to unlearn, I’m thinking.”

“You have to have a bit of it.”

“For self-preservation, yes. But not everyone you meet, every time. When I caught you walking that damned dog, I thought you were an intruder out to spy on me. My automatic assumption. And it wasn’t so. I had no right to think that way.” He smiled and gave her another kiss. “Even if you were, I’d have to consider it worthwhile.”

She didn’t understand the last remark but was too tired to ask him what he meant. Immediately he picked up on her thoughts. “We’ll shower, eat, and sleep. Sound good to you?”

“Better than good.” She sighed and relaxed into his arms, knowing he’d care for her if she asked him to. Worry and the exertion of keeping her mind firmly fixed in Drew’s while he’d fought the deadly allergy had taken its toll. Now the backlash hit her with a viciousness that took her completely by surprise.

“Adrenaline slump,” he said. “Me too. Come on before it takes us over.”

“So what happens next?” She yawned, unable to stifle it.

“We make our plans.”

Normally Lucille hated being sheltered and pampered, but this time she was too drained to protest. She surrendered herself into Jay’s hands.

After a quick bite, they gave up on the shower and fell into bed together.

After she’d slept much longer than she could ever remember in her adult life, he went to the bathroom and poured a bath for them. In his deep tub, he held her and washed her, moving the cloth slowly over her skin until she shuddered with pleasure. Then he made love to her.

That was the only way she could explain it. It wasn’t fucking, nothing frantic, but slow and careful. Each move he made was meticulous and controlled. He soaped her, careful to cover every part of her body while she lay against him.

She let him do whatever he wanted, finding solace and peace in his arms. Slowly, he shifted that to excitement. By the time he filled a sponge with water and trickled it over her breasts, her nipples had hardened, and her pussy had come to life. Her initial euphoria over her brother’s recovery had melted into a darker mood, and he’d sensed it.

Of course he did. When she tried to talk to him about it, he hushed her and laid a series of kisses on her mouth. He only ventured inside on the final touch of his lips to hers. He held her jaw and caressed it with featherlight touches as he explored her, stroking with a masterful demand that would take no denial.

Why should she, when he was giving her so much pleasure? After dropping the sponge, he stroked down her body to her cleft. He touched her clit and then went down to her opening in long strokes. She responded like a cat, purring into his mouth and twisting in his arms so she could face him.

He helped her spread her thighs and cupped her ass, lifting her so she nestled close to his heavy erection, now adorned by the bar he’d told her about before. He left it up to her to take him. His longing poured into her mind. She appreciated the courage to open that far, to let her feel the emotions close to his very soul.

She’d have to trust him in return, and how could she do that? The long training from her parents had made her instinctively wary of having that much faith in anyone. Her mind closed of its own volition, but she forced it open again. To the next level. She could give him more, layer by layer, but here in the deeper recesses of her mind, she felt closer to Jay than she had to anyone else before.

He was a master of seduction—she should never forget that. He’d probably had more women than he could count. She feared she was another conquest, although she sensed his inner integrity. It surrounded her, as gorgeous as everything else about him. He hummed into her mouth, a sound of utter, simple happiness. Then he deepened his kiss, and she took him in.

It felt natural. So much that it scared her because this wouldn’t last. Couldn’t. He’d move on. Perhaps one day when she’d lived a little more, she could come to him as an equal and claim him. Most likely, they’d both have gone to different people, new experiences.

He helped her set a rhythm, steady and undemanding, guaranteed to take them to ecstasy but in a different way than before. Infinitely more profound, or it seemed so.

The kiss finished, and she drew away enough so she could gaze into his eyes. “This must be as normal to you as your vampire state.”

“Not anymore. I’ve been vampire a very long time. My mortal existence lasted a mere twenty-five years. But childhood experiences have a lot to do with later opinions.” He slid inside her, the bar through his piercing blazing its trail along her inner walls, making her shudder in delight.

“You’ve spoiled me for other men.”

“I don’t want to do that.”

She smiled down at him. “Really? How many men would say that?”

“A man who cares about his woman’s happiness.”

Implied, the knowledge that they’d part. How could she think they wouldn’t? They’d known each other for less than a week. No way could that constitute anything permanent. True, the mental level that connected them allowed for deeper exploration, and they couldn’t lie to each other. Not anymore.

“Friendship, Lucille, with benefits. Wonderful benefits.” He closed his eyes, and his expression grew taut as she sensed him forcing down his orgasm, but the sight and sense of him proved a trigger for her. She gasped, made a choked sound, and came, her pussy pulsing around him.

He came in long spurts, streams of his semen releasing inside her. Thanks to their mental connection, she felt every convulsion, and she climaxed again in short, hard flutters, clutching his shoulders to prevent herself from collapsing against his chest.

They opened their eyes at the same moment, warmth and utter contentment radiating through them both.

She let out a deep breath. “That was wonderful.”

“Wasn’t it? We only have to practice a little more, and we might make it even better.” He chuckled and reached for the soap. “Now do you think we should get out of here, or pour some hot water in?”

She opted for rinsing and climbing out. The soft rug cushioned her feet from the promise of cold tile underfoot. Every sensation added to her memories. She wouldn’t forget any of this, wouldn’t allow herself to. He helped pat her dry, each touch a caress, so she leaned back into his arms and let him do what he wanted. Which seemed to be to treat her like porcelain. “Did you have many lovers?” She needed something to help create distance between them.

“Don’t ask,” he said.

“I’m asking.”

“Yes.” He kept his voice low and unchallenging. “Did you think I was celibate before I met you?”

She caught his thought before he thrust it deeper than she could reach.
“Although sometimes it feels that way.”

“Really?”

“Every lover is new and different. Some are for friendship, some for solace, some for…other reasons.”

“Love?”

He paused in his movements. “It’s rare. Once, a long time ago. No rival to you.” He kissed her shoulder, warm and wet. “She’s long dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” His tone gained a tinge of melancholy, and she wished she hadn’t asked.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“That’s okay.” He turned her around. His eyes had grown cool, but his mind was filled with someone other than her. She hadn’t caused that chill—something she could be glad of. She’d hate that expression aimed at her. “You know little about me.” He huffed a laugh. “Maybe because there’s so much of it. You can’t help but gain a history.” He paused, gathering his thoughts, but he kept them away from her. “She was the reason I became a vampire.”

“You said it was boredom.”

“It’s what I tell everyone.” The corner of his mouth flickered in a dry smile. “Partly it was. The world seemed pointless without her. Typical youthful obsession, I’m afraid. The duel I was seconding? It was over her. Two of her suitors, one a vampire, fought over her. My vampire friend, my sire, chose pistols at dawn because it was fairer. He couldn’t call on his stronger side then, you see. Any vampires feeling their powers drain away at dawn don’t call on their mortal strength to replace it for a short time. He fought, he lost. And he bled to death.”

“So vampires can convert in the light?”

He shook his head. “Not usually. He hung on until nightfall, but he wanted to die. He’d had enough, he said, and her rejection proved the last act of his life. I spent that day tending to him, trying to persuade him to change his mind, but he was adamant.” He wrapped a towel around her hair. “I didn’t believe him, and I said yes to stop him becoming agitated. Then at sunset, he did the deed. I’d agreed, as far as he was concerned. I will always hold part of him inside me, and that’s my consolation, that he is there within me still. I did my best to honor him, but since he hadn’t led a particularly exemplary life, I didn’t lead one myself.”

He turned away and picked up a towel for himself. “It was long ago. The woman isn’t worth remembering, so I don’t use her name anymore. She led men on until they did something foolish, and she repeated it many times. Him, on the other hand, I honor for his strength and the way he unapologetically lived. His name was Mark, Lord French.”

She’d never heard of Lord French, but she’d remember it now. For Jay’s sake. “And you were James.”

When he faced her once more to her, his expression was lighter. “Yes, I was. We didn’t have as much choice for names then. We weren’t as well traveled or as inventive as people are today. James, Charles, William, Frederick, and lots of Georges.”

The coldness left his eyes, replaced by his usual wry humor. She was glad to see it. “We should go visit your brother. He’s awake—can’t you sense him?”

With a shock, she realized she hadn’t concentrated on Drew for the past half hour while Jay and she had made love and he’d talked to her. Now she stretched out her senses and found her brother awake. She didn’t speak to him, but he’d gotten a glimpse of her wrapped in towels, glowing with her recent exercise. She felt his warmth and withdrew hastily.

“We should dress.”

Jay followed her, chuckling. “Yes, we should.”

Ten minutes later, she went into the suite next door, nervousness filling her. She’d tied back her damp hair, flung on jeans and a T-shirt, but that hadn’t stopped Jay pausing to tell her she looked wonderful. She could at least scoff at him. “Are you the kind of man who says that whatever the woman is wearing?”

“Not at all. I saw you in evening wear, and I saw you naked. Different kinds of beauty. Now it’s different again. You’re a natural beauty.”

For sure he was flattering her. She’d looked into the mirror. Without makeup her skin was unnaturally pale, her lashes too light. Her hair, though, that didn’t need a great deal to make it flatter her. She had been known to brush it over one side of her face so everyone was looking at that, and not the rest of her.

But on the whole, not bad, she had to admit.

Too uncomfortable, she didn’t argue with him now. Although she’d had lovers before that her brother was aware of, she’d never— She was close to Jay in a way she had never allowed.

They didn’t have a chance, she told herself. She wouldn’t be able to keep him for long, but she’d enjoy the experience while she could.

With that thought to ground her, she faced Drew. He was sitting up in bed, and his lips quirked in a knowing grin as he caught her gaze. She didn’t look away, knowing a challenge when she saw one, but lifted her chin.

Jay dropped his hands lightly on her shoulders. “Anything to say?” He sounded cool once more as if waiting for the insults to rain down on her.

“He’s fine. He’s my brother, and he has rights other people don’t.”

“Nobody speaks to you disrespectfully.”