The Thrust (16 page)

“We all must keep our eyes and ears open.
If you see something, say something!
If you hear a neighbor talking about this paper in a way that makes you think he or she might be in bed with these terrorists, you must let me know. Because if you don’t, you are no worse than they are.”

The crowd murmured at this. No one liked the idea of having to rat out a fellow citizen. And if everyone was a spy, who would they talk to about it? Lanche smiled thinly, because that was his plan, of course. Keep them scared and silent. Don’t give them a chance to think about it for themselves.

Let each of them believe they are the only one considering the message on the pamphlet. That way, they couldn’t gather forces against him.

“Our soldiers will never turn against you, or each other, have no fear. Soldiers! Any soldier without his uniform shirt on in the event of an attack will be seen as a terrorist threat, just as those who conspire against us in the night, in whispers, are a threat to our very lives. Terrorists. Will. Be.
Executed
,” he spat out. “Enjoy your dinner, and enjoy your beds and your shelter tonight.”

Lanche crumpled the paper and threw it to the ground, deciding not to tear it up after all.

The crowd was silent once more.

EVAN

Evan listened to
the speech with growing unease. If people were going to be executed just for talking about it, could he really expect anyone to get on their side?

Now was the time, though. Everyone was sitting in silence in the dining area, quietly getting their rations and eating. Probably afraid to say a word, now that Lanche had appointed every single one of them to be spies on the others.

The pamphlets sat against his chest, under his uniform. He slipped out of the food court and made his way to the soldiers’ sleeping quarters. There were men patrolling the main terminal, but they were looking out, not in. Not at him.

He walked into his bunk area and scattered a few of the papers, then went down the row of converted rooms and did the same.

No one was in the rooms, thank God. If they were, if he were caught, he could be killed for treason.

But the soldiers needed a chance to read this for themselves. Even if they couldn’t talk about it, if it got them thinking about not shooting, that was a start. Especially if it got them thinking about freedom. But would they really strip off their uniform tops and lay down their guns when Letliv came to free the people?

They were secure, here in Grand Central. The most secure places were prisons, after all. He’d rather take his chances dying a free man than live forever in the camp.

He left the last room, out of pamphlets.

People were starting to filter back into the main terminal after evening rations, but Evan couldn’t help but notice how unusually quiet they were after Colonel Lanche’s speech.

Come on, people
.
Think for yourselves!

But they were all probably looking at each other, wondering who would be the first to “see something, say something.”

Scar walked up to him, smiling in that twisted way of his.

Fuck.
Not now.

“Hi there, pretty boy,” Scar taunted. “How do you like being a soldier?”

Evan stared him in the eyes. “I thought I’d sleep better, to be honest.”

Scar laughed uproariously, as if Evan had just told him the funniest joke ever. “I bet you did. But you’re under my command. You report to me. Or did Colonel Lanche not make that clear?”

“I did what the Colonel asked. I told him everything. In return, you’re supposed to leave me alone.”

“All right,” Scar said. “I suppose I could leave you alone. I’ll just have some fun with Annie, instead.”

Evan looked at him in horror. If that prick laid a hand on Annie he’d fucking cut it off.

“What, you can’t share?” Scar laughed. “She must be wonderful. I’ll have to see for myself.”

Evan knew if he begged Scar to leave her alone, it would only spur him on. So he ignored him. Looked down at his boots.

“So, will I see you tonight?” Scar leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Or will I be paying our little Annie a visit, instead?”

“You’re supposed to protect us,” Evan said evenly. “I won’t choose between two bad choices. I choose neither.”

Scar raised his eyebrows. “You can’t choose neither. If you don’t choose, I’ll choose for you.” He cupped Evan’s cheek in his hand and grinned.

If Scar came to him tonight, would his new friend Private Hernandez really stand up for him, like he’d said? Or would it be another night of muffling his cries into his pillow while the soldiers around him pretended to sleep?

“Please don’t do this,” Evan whispered. “I know you’re bigger than me. That you’re stronger. That you have all the power and that I have none. You don’t need to . . .
rape
me to prove that, okay? Please.”

To his surprise, Scar dropped his hand. “Bye-bye, pretty boy.” He walked away, leaving Evan standing there, trembling with adrenaline.

What just happened? Was Scar going to leave him alone? Or had he brought a shitstorm of trouble onto himself—and Annie—by daring to stand up for himself?

I need to kill him.

It was the only way for this to end.

But there was no way to kill Scar without ending up dead himself. He’d either be killed by Scar while trying, or executed later by Lanche.

Evan didn’t want to die. He’d lived this long, he had to live another day.

And Annie—Annie had kissed him! It didn’t feel like a pity-kiss, either. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but she’d sounded sincere when she’d told him that she thought of him as a man. Not a boy.

If Scar started terrorizing her, it would be Evan’s fault. He couldn’t let that happen.

What could he do? Could he really tell the Colonel about it—would that work? Or was Scar hurting him on the Colonel’s orders, the way he had in the beginning?

He made his way down to the Tracks, blinking to adjust to the darkness. He found Annie’s car and knocked.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Hi, Evan.” Annie smiled at him and patted the plastic seat next to her.

He sat down heavily. “Are people talking about the pamphlet still?”

“I think the Colonel scared everyone into silence. No one wants to be the first to talk.”

“Scar confronted me,” he said.

He had to tell her what happened. Had to let her know she was in danger now, because of him. But then, she’d always been. From the moment Lanche realized she was his weak spot, he’d hurt her to get to him.

And now Scar was doing it again.

“Scar told me if I didn’t let him fuck me that he’d come visit you.” Evan exhaled. God, it hurt to say that.

Annie gasped. “How can we stop him?”

“I want to kill that bastard. But I can’t figure out how to do it without getting killed myself.”

“No,” Annie said. “No. You can’t get yourself killed, Evan. What would I do without you? I need you.”

“I won’t let him keep hurting me. Or hurt you. It has to end.”

“Okay, let’s think about this,” Annie said slowly. “Let’s say he comes to me, and you’re hiding, waiting. With your gun. Then when he’s busy with me, you shoot him.”

“Then we have a dead man in your train car. Isn’t that how your friend Taryn got executed? For killing a man who was messing with Jenna?”

Annie paled. “Did Jenna tell you that?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his head. “People would hear the shot. There would be blood.”

“Strangle him,” she whispered. “No gunshot, no blood.”

He looked at her in surprise. It was a good idea. But there was still the body to deal with.

“It would be better if he went missing. But how could we hide his body, with all these people around?” Evan asked.

It felt strange to be sitting here, calmly discussing murder. So much had changed since the Pulse. Evan had changed. And he didn’t like who he’d become.

Scar had taken more than his innocence when he raped him. He’d taken a piece of his soul.

“We could make it look like an accident,” Annie said. “Like he’d gotten drunk, and fallen off the Tracks. Like how I broke my leg, but he’d . . . he’d hit his head, or break his neck. And die.”

“What if he doesn’t die?”

She frowned. “Well, we strangle him first.
Then
drop him on the Tracks. Maybe pour some alcohol on his uniform so he smells like he was drinking. It’s not like they’re doing autopsies anymore.”

The plan was shaping up.

But there was one problem. “He’s strong, Annie. Stronger than me. How will I strangle him? He’ll fight me, and win.”

“Hit him on the head, then. When he’s on me.”

“I don’t want him to touch you.”

“I’m not a virgin, Evan,” she said. “I could do this, if I knew it was going to end up with that monster being out of our lives forever. If I knew that he’d never be able to hurt you again.”

“That soldier Hernandez said he’d kill Scar if he could. Maybe we don’t have to draw you into this at all. I could just wait for Scar to come to me tonight, and Hernandez could hit him on the head, and then we could—”

“You can’t carry him through the whole terminal at night with no one seeing,” Annie interrupted. “If he’s here, we could just take him right out of the car and dump him on the train tracks right here.”

Evan shook his head. As much as he wanted to kill Scar, the conversation was scaring him. He didn’t know if he’d be able to go through with it. And he definitely didn’t want Annie to have to be molested by Scar as part of the plan. Or to have her involved in it at all, in case things went wrong.

Plans always went wrong.

“Forget the whole thing,” Evan said. “Just forget it.”

He stood to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to be in my bunk tonight in case he comes for me. If I’m not there, he’ll come for you.”

Tears glimmered in her eyes and she reached for him. “I don’t want you to go.”

Evan couldn’t look at her as he backed away from her gentle grasp. “I have to, Annie. I’m sorry.”

Annie took his hand again. “Not yet. Don’t go just yet. Please.”

“But—”

He didn’t want to leave her. And the way she touched him, her hand on his . . .

“Evan, he won’t come for you right now—he’ll wait. We have time. Just for a little . . . stay with me.”

How could he refuse? Annie had come to mean everything to him. Yes, she was his weak spot. He couldn’t help it.

Tentatively, he sat back next to her and smiled. “Okay. Just for a little.”

“I want to give you something good to think about,” she whispered, and she kissed him.

Her lips met his with such passion that he gasped. Yes. This was exactly what he needed—to feel like a man, to be
her
man. She wouldn’t be kissing him like that if she only thought of him as a boy, like everyone else.

“If we lie down on the mattress, we’ll have some privacy,” Annie whispered, gesturing with her head to the open train door.

Evan helped her onto the old mattress and she melted into his arms, pressing her body against his. His body reacted immediately and he bit his lower lip, inhaling sharply.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I want this. I want
you
, Evan.”

“I want you too, Annie.” God, that was an understatement. He lived and breathed for her.

Evan kissed her again, amazed at how natural it felt for their tongues to meet, to dance together.

“Are you . . . you’re not just doing this because—” He needed to know, even if he couldn’t say it out loud. Needed to know this wasn’t pity on her part.

Annie shook her head. “You’re a good man, Evan. There aren’t enough good men like you.” She slowly took off her shirt, revealing her bare breasts.

Evan didn’t know where to look first. What to do with his hands. He was lost.

“I—”

“I’ll help you,” Annie whispered with a smile. She took his hand and placed it on her breast, right over her little pink nipple. It hardened under his touch.

Evan ran his hands over her breasts, reveling in their perfection. Amazed that he was allowed to touch her like this, so intimately. Acting on instinct, he brought his mouth to her tender peak and licked her nipple.

Annie moaned with pleasure. “That’s nice,” she said. “More.”

His cock was so hard it hurt, pressing against the confines of his uniform. Annie reached down and unzipped his fly, freeing him. Her hand on his length—oh God, it was incredible.

Evan took his shirt off, too, needing to feel her skin against his. Just for this moment, they could pretend they were somewhere else—anywhere but on a dirty mattress in an old train car. Pressed against her, all he could do was feel, not think. And that worked for him.

She kissed him, trailing kisses down his neck, his chest. He didn’t want to crush her or hurt her leg, but she urged him on, pulling her pants down and spreading her legs beneath him.

Evan paused. “Are you sure, Annie?”

“I want to,” she said. “I’ve never wanted anyone more.”

She was gentle with him, avoiding the various still-healing bruises on his body. But he couldn’t feel any pain right now—the endorphins flowed through him, making him high with desire.

“Touch me,” she whispered, guiding his hand to her wet folds.

He’d never gotten to third base before. God, it felt stupid calling it that. He shook his head and laughed self-consciously. “I don’t . . . I don’t know what to do.”

Annie guided his hand, putting her own over his, rubbing tight circles around her clit until she moaned, tossing her head back.

It felt good, knowing he could make her feel that way. Like a superpower he’d never known he had before. He ran his fingers across her pussy, gently pressing into her wetness.

Annie took his cock in her hand and guided him into her, thrusting her hips up to meet him. He sank into her heat, sheathing himself, and groaned with passion.

Sex. They were having sex! In all of his fantasies, he never could have imagined just how good it would actually feel.

Her fingertips gripped his back, urging him closer. God, it felt so good. They moved together as one on the mattress, her soft breath hot in his ear as she panted in time with his thrusts.