The Tibetan Yoga of Breath: Breathing Practices for Healing the Body and Cultivating Wisdom (5 page)

If we train in wind energy, each of us has the ability both to discover a more joyful life here and now and, ultimately, to cultivate wisdom.

2

Working with Breath and Neurotic Mind

THE MIND’S FUNDAMENTAL
nature is not neurotic and emotionally afflicted. It is of limitless kindness and compassion. However, because we have become so used to the experience of mental and emotional instability, we rarely catch a glimpse of this fundamental nature. In this chapter we will get a sense of how our habitual and unexamined patterns of thought are directly linked to our breathing, and drive our reactions in life, leading to happiness or unhappiness. We will also learn about how wind energy influences our state of mind moment by moment.

S
ELF
-A
TTACHMENT AND
S
ELF
-A
CCEPTANCE

From the point of view of the general Buddhist teachings, the basis for neurotic mind, or the dualistic mind that is overpowered by emotions and thoughts, is self-attachment. It can also be called
self-cherishing
. We may feel that the word
neurosis
only applies to extreme emotions and thought patterns. However, from the point of view of Tibetan Buddhism, neurosis is any trace of self-attachment or afflictive emotion. Until we completely realize the nature of wisdom, we all possess neurotic mind.

True awareness of our own self-attachment and self-cherishing is elusive. We often do not feel like we love ourselves at all. In fact, many of us feel we do not even like ourselves. We may be inclined to self-deprecation, insecurity, and feeling that we are never good enough. However, feelings of insecurity and undervaluing ourselves like this can be self-attachment in disguise. In other words, they can cause us to turn inward and be focused on ourselves, rather than focusing on supporting others and the greater community. This lack of confidence and disparaging of ourselves can make us emotionally and spiritually unavailable; we become isolated and distant from our friends and family, failing to offer them support in their time of need.

Because these feelings are so prevalent within our culture, the idea of self-acceptance has come to the forefront of emotional and spiritual healing. And self-acceptance, when it is not self-attachment in disguise, is also an important part of the Buddhist teachings. Accepting ourselves for who and what we are right now helps us make changes in our lives; we can understand both our capabilities and our limitations and ultimately transcend them. We can let go of the past and focus on what we are doing right now. With an attitude of self-acceptance, we can forgive ourselves for mistakes made in the past and the part we played in those situations.

Often, we focus on “what is wrong with us,” but true self-acceptance is not just about accepting our shortcomings. All human beings possess many wonderful qualities as well. From the point of view of the Buddhist teachings, we all have the ability to be loving and compassionate. We all have the ability to change and improve on the qualities and abilities we have now. We are all worthy of the love and affection of others. This is part of our underlying nature, which the Buddhist teachings describe as “basic
goodness.” This basically good nature is something that all beings possess simply as a result of being alive. The Buddhist teachings give the example that even terrifying, carnivorous animals such as lions and tigers are basically good, because they care for and would even give their lives for their offspring.

The Buddhist teachings also state that we all have what is called
Buddha Nature
. Buddha Nature is something that dwells within all of us: it is the mind’s potential to express wisdom.
Wisdom
here refers not only to the qualities of worldly intelligence and knowledge that make us adept and successful at dealing with life’s problems, but it also refers to a nondual, altruistic state of mind that is not limited in any way. Such a mental state is difficult to imagine because it is completely beyond our ordinary experience. But from the point of view of the Buddhist teachings, we do not need to do anything to possess this quality. Like basic goodness, Buddha Nature is something we have inside of us naturally, simply because we are alive.

S
TATE OF
M
IND IS AN
E
XPRESSION OF THE
B
REATH

We have a tendency to think that what we see in the world outside of us is actually, objectively real. But the world that we see outside of us is a reflection of our own minds. We may question the truth of this statement, but it does make sense when we reflect on our past experiences. In hindsight, we realize that different choices were available to us, even though we could not see those choices then. As the saying goes, “If I had known then what I know now . . . .” We have all reflected on the past in this way, and this normal thought pattern that we all engage in demonstrates that our experiences are indeed subjective, not objective. Everything that we experience is colored by the mental ideas, filters, perceptions, and beliefs that we have at any given moment. Although we may have brief moments of calmness and clarity, the great majority of our time is spent reacting to situations and people around us based on how we feel. In the Tibetan Buddhist
tradition, it is taught that how we feel and our mental state are directly related to how we breathe, and the quality of our wind energy.

Logically speaking, this connection between our state of mind and our breathing seems to hold some merit. Most of us are aware that when the breath is relaxed, the mind and temperament are relaxed. But how does the wind energy push those deep thoughts and emotions to the surface? As it turns out, we are much more familiar with this phenomenon than we might expect.

One example many of us are familiar with is the strong urge to act out our emotions when we are upset. Through the lens of Tibetan Buddhist philosophy, this is a direct result of unstable wind energy. For example, when we feel agitated, angry, or impatient, hot wind energy arises and gathers below the rib cage around the heart; we often express anger at whoever is in front of us, regardless of whether that person is connected to how we feel at all. We blurt out more than we mean to say because this accumulated wind energy in our chest makes us incapable of keeping our feelings inside and making decisions about what we would like to communicate. Likewise, when sadness and despair arise, we can become overwhelmed. We start to feel numb and disconnected from others or ourselves, even failing to take care of our basic needs. The feeling of anxiety, or mental obsession, is also fueled by wind energy. When we are overcome by this expression of wind energy, we may feel that we need to do something, anything, no matter what it is. As a result, we often make rash and impulsive decisions that we later regret. In these cases, imbalance in the wind energy leads to an imbalance in the mind, which manifests as imbalance in ourselves, our environment, and our relationships. The outer is a reflection of the inner.

So-called “high” wind energy—which occurs when wind energy builds up high in the chest instead of dwelling deep within the abdomen and belly—can also cause us to perpetuate self-destructive patterns. We may know that bad things happen when we act in a certain way. We may want to avoid these negative outcomes,
and even anticipate how emotionally unmanageable our lives will become if we create a chaotic situation. Yet, agitated wind energy fuels our thoughts, driving us until we act out on our impulses and create the exact situation in our lives that we wish to avoid. It seems like we cannot help ourselves. Propelled by the power of the wind energy, we feel powerless to change.

W
ORKING
THROUGH
R
ESISTANCE

While self-acceptance is harmonious with spiritual principles, again we should not confuse this with self-attachment. Self-attachment reflects the attitude that we are sufficient as we are; accordingly, it generates the fundamental belief that we need not change. This opposition to change can, and often does, come under the guise of self-acceptance. However, having patience, tolerance, and compassion toward ourselves is not the same thing as believing that we are perfect just as we are. Our resistance to change is not just a mental and emotional habit. It is also tied to our wind energy and how we breathe, since our breathing patterns are also habituated and respond to inner and outer stimuli. We can start to see more clearly how balancing the wind energy creates balance in the body and mind, which then manifests as balance in our daily lives.

Avoiding a Life of Disharmony

In the West, our sense of individualism makes it seem that it is better to go it alone in many situations. We may feel suffocated by the idea of conforming to the wishes of others, and that others should accept us for who we are, just as we are. When we have conflict with others, we are often unwilling to look in the mirror and see what part we have played. The Buddhist teachings tell us that listening to others, responding to their thoughts and feelings, and being willing to accept responsibility rather than blaming others creates a sense of inner and outer harmony. However,
in the West, the value placed on individualism and utilitarianism teaches us that to focus on our own desires is paramount, and we must do whatever is necessary to achieve the desired end. This self-important focus brings imbalance to both our inner and our outer lives.

How does this imbalance show up in our lives? When we make a habit of considering ourselves first and focusing on our own wants, needs, and feelings, we often act alone. At times, we disregard or ignore the wishes and needs of others to better carry out what we want. This can cause us to feel lonely and isolated. This same tendency of putting our own wishes before others can also express itself as unwillingness to compromise, damaging our relationships and dividing us from others. In other words, the imbalance on the inside that arises from focusing so much on our own needs and self-attachment manifests on the outside as a lack of community and connection. Despite this, we may genuinely feel justified in not changing a bit. Although we may feel justified in doing things our own way, the real question is: does “being right”—that is, making up our minds and sticking with that decision—make us happy?

When we first take up the Buddhist path, one of the first instructions we receive is to reflect on how we are like others. This can be difficult to appreciate. After all, much of Western culture not only focuses on differences, it shines a spotlight on them. Noting differences can be wonderful tools for eliciting our talents and unique ideas, but a sense of harmony and the humanity we share with others may be lost. It can be difficult to look at others and imagine that they have any of the same thoughts and feelings that we have. Many of us suffer from the feeling that no one in the world can understand our experience, because it is so unique. Cultivating empathy is far more challenging without first believing—or seeing—that we are each essentially the same as all other beings.

We are all more alike than we think we are, even if, person by person, we have very specific differences. Despite the differences
we have in personality, culture, gender, education, and socioeconomic status, Mahayana Buddhism teaches that all beings equally wish to be happy and to be free from suffering. So, at the most fundamental level, we have something in common with every living creature in the universe. Reflecting on this helps us create relationship and balance—cutting through our own feelings of being too special and different to be understood, feelings that divide and isolate us from others.

When we take up a spiritual way of life, looking to create balance both in the mind and in the environment around us, we must cultivate the attitude of being willing to change; to work with ourselves, others around us, and our environment. Many of us believe we are willing to change. But when confronted with a painful or difficult situation, we revert back to our deeply rooted patterns and justification in being who we are. We even think to ourselves, “There’s nothing I can do. That’s just how I am.” We feel that “how we are” is beyond our control. Deeply ingrained in the mind, this is one of the strongest roots of Western neurosis. We feel that we do not need to change, or that we cannot change, even though we know that our inability to change is making us miserable. The truth is we have cherished ourselves so much, we are so attached to the way we are, despite whether or not it makes us happy, that we do not know how to change. We feel powerless.

Becoming Flexible

There are many reasons that we hold on to the belief that we are unable to change, or need not change. Change terrifies us. We fear facing the unknown. Our minds will fill in the blanks for us, creating dreadful scenarios. We are often unhappy and dissatisfied with our own lives, but we prefer the security of what we have now to what we might have if we make a change. Often our well-meaning thoughts of self-acceptance become a force of stagnation, of avoiding change, and of rationalizing why we should keep on doing things just as we have.

When we are too attached to the way we are, we make ourselves rigid and uncompromising. When we lack flexibility, we are unable to respond to people and situations around us and to shed the unhealthy habits that cause our suffering. Wind energy training is a tool we can implement to cultivate flexibility. We become more able to respond in a balanced, thoughtful, and deliberate manner in each and every situation. When we draw upon wind energy training and develop awareness of our respiratory patterns, we can influence and even change them over time, bringing physical, emotional, and mental transformation. Wind energy training also brings balance and relaxation to body and mind. If we are willing to work with the breath and retrain our minds as well as how we breathe, we will find that fear will loosen its deadly grip on us and we can finally relax.