The Ties That Bind (7 page)

"Honey," I reminded her, "we don't know for sure that was your dad." I rocked her gently. "Don't jump to conclusions until all the evidence is in. And even then, you have to see where it leads."

"Jesus. You sound like Chris." She nuzzled my neck and chills shot down my spine. I buried the inappropriate thought that entered my mind.

"Well, it's damn good advice. Otherwise we'd be knee-jerking all over hell and gone." I clenched my teeth to keep myself from collapsing beneath the onslaught of her lips.

She pulled away and studied my face then she shook her head, smiling. "I cannot believe I hooked up with the essence of analytical thought."

I shrugged, sheepish. "And I can't believe you, a force of nature, took a chance on my boring, rational self."

She ran her fingers along my jaw and another set of chills erupted down my back. "Balance. I need your clear head as a counterpoint." She kissed me and I pulled her closer. "Christ," she muttered against my lips. "Boring? Kase, you're so far from that it's not even on our map."

I kissed her again just as Jeff called from the back porch, "As soon as you're ready, I'll start the coals. Except it looks like some already got started in the kitchen," he added, joking.

We started laughing and Sage pulled away. "Men."

I removed the lettuce from the water. "You want to see if Chris can find out more about this?" I spread the lettuce leaves out on the cutting board.

Sage thought for a moment before answering. "No, I don't think so. I'd prefer that things just unfold." Her tone held resigned finality.

I nodded in understanding and she went out the back door to talk to Jeff, leaving it open. I finished the prep work and pulled a beer out of the fridge for him. Armed with that and the plate of burgers, I walked through the mud room and out onto the back porch. Maybe talking to Jeff about Amy would help get Sage's mind off the reservation for a while. I joined them at the grill and he set to work with the burgers while bantering with Sage. Within a few minutes, the subject of Amy came up and Sage started deconstructing it in her gentle way. Smiling to myself, I went to set the table.

I SPENT MONDAY morning in my office on campus, organizing the reading list for two of my classes. I checked with the bookstore to make sure what I was assigning was either in stock or en route. Those tasks completed, I worked out at the UNM gym then went home and finished up some research I was doing for Gus Clayton over at the local FBI office. He had concerns that a local neo-Nazi cell might have links to a larger organization with ties to Germany. Fortunately, I didn't find any evidence of that. Since my run-in with neo-Nazis a couple of years ago, Gus contracted with me to do outside research on right-wing activity. Why the hell I'd chosen that as the brunt of my doctoral work I'd probably never know. But at least I could put it to good use and help law enforcement keep tabs on groups and individuals.

I finished typing up my findings and ran a spell check before reading through it again and saving the document. I e-mailed it to him, shaking my head, bemused. Who knew that two years ago I'd be back in Albuquerque chasing white supremacists around and end up as a sometime-consultant for the FBI? Crazy, how things turned out. My cell phone rang and I glanced at the caller ID before answering.

"Hey, Mom. What's up?"

"Hi, hon. Just calling to check in and let you know that Kara's on her way here."

"Why couldn't
she
call me and tell me that?"

She cleared her throat in a way that said, with practiced patience, "because your sister keeps her own damn schedule."

"Okay. So, how long 'til she gets there?" I put my feet on my desk, annoyed. Tucson to Albuquerque was about nine hours driving. So if Kara remembered to call me when she left our folks' house, I'd have that long to prepare myself for her visit.

"She'll be here tonight some time. Then I suppose you and Sage had better start looking for her Wednesday."

"Are you sure she's even related to us? You're absolutely positive you gave birth to her and she wasn't switched with the Grateful Dead entourage's love child in the hospital?"

She started laughing. "Yes, she's your biological sister. She's a lot like your dad's brother Mike. And my sister. The 'do your own thing' genes from both sides coalesced in her."

"Maybe she'll just bypass me and continue on to visit Joely," I grumbled.

"I know Kara irritates you, and I wish that she'd sometimes think about the consequences of her actions. But she loves you very much and she admires you more than she lets on. So the best advice I can give is to just try to find her good points."

"Shit, Mom." I ran a hand through my hair and stood. "She's so damn flaky. I can't trust her to come through on anything. Joely and I had to just go ahead with Dad's birthday present last year because Kara couldn't get her crap together to do her part." I stalked out into the living room. "After she told us 'oh, no problem. It's a great idea. I'll do this and this and this.' And did she? Fuck, no. So here she is again, pulling the same kind of bullshit. I called her on Saturday to find out when the hell she'd get here and I'm still fucking waiting to hear."

She didn't respond and I felt her discomfort over the phone as plainly as if she'd voiced it. I forced myself to calm down. "I'm sorry. I just--I don't get it. I don't understand her. Here you and Dad are, total professors. So Joely and I got the academic thing, too. Which makes sense. I mean, we all grew up in the same household. It stands to reason that we'd follow in your footsteps to some degree. But then there's Kara. Miss 'I just can't be bothered with mundane responsibilities.' She's more devoted to her damn trees and environuts than she ever was to her own family." I went through the kitchen onto the back porch where I flopped into one of the chairs we kept out here and stared moodily at the ramada we'd built over the patio at the base of the back steps.

"Honey, that's not fair," my mom said.

I snorted.

"Kara's different in many ways. But she's also a lot like you."

"Please," I muttered sarcastically.

"Moreso than like Joely. She's very stubborn like you are and insecure in some ways. But she's also very loyal to her family. She just hasn't figured out where to channel her energy and she's spent all her life in your shadow and Joely's. So she rebels. She keeps her own schedule and does her own thing, trying to carve a niche for herself in the world and in this family."

My mom. The anthropologist.
"Yeah, but even Uncle Mike and Aunt Tess check in before they go flinging off on some new venture."

She chuckled.

"So how do I get her to at least check in with me before she shows up on our doorstep?" I stretched my legs out.

"Maybe change your tone?"

"What does that mean?" I sat up straighter.

She hesitated a bit before answering. "She's an adult, honey. Maybe if you started speaking to her like one and interacting with her like one, she'd start acting like one. If you expect her to screw up all the time and behave like a little sister, she will."

My mom. The burgeoning therapist.

"Set the bar higher. And let the things that bother you about her go."

"God, Mom. You sound like a twelve-step program." I sighed and stood again.

"That's not such a bad thing."

"True." I relaxed a little. "So how's Dad? Is he going to Guatemala with you next month?"

"Yes. He managed to clear his schedule. And he's really looking forward to it. He's exploring origin myths of various indigenous peoples there. He's also collaborating on another religious studies textbook."

"Glad to hear there's life after the ivory tower," I said, smiling.

"Honey, it never stops. Speaking of which, when are they going to hire you full-time over there? Adjunct teaching doesn't offer good benefits and you don't get to sit on committees."

"Which isn't a bad thing, Mom. Committees can suck. I don't know if they'll hire me full-time. They haven't offered and they haven't posted for any teaching jobs on campus in either American studies or sociology. But I'm not worried about it. I'm still okay with the grant money and I've got a couple more articles coming out at the end of the year. Plus, the University of California Press wants me to edit an anthology about extremists. Left
and
right. That's in the planning stages and it looks like we'll score a chunk of change from the NEH for that." I walked back into the kitchen and took a bottle of Tazo iced tea out of the fridge. "I don't know how I'd be able to teach full-time and do all that shit. Geez. How did you do it all of those years?" I shook up the tea and, bracing my phone between my ear and shoulder, I unscrewed the top.

She laughed. "Sometimes I wonder that myself."

I heard their home phone ring in the background.

"That's probably your father. I'm supposed to pick him up at the library."

"You'd better get it then. Talk to you later. Love you."

"I love you, too. Give our love to Sage. Bye, hon."

"Bye."

I hung up and took a long drink of tea. I stood in the kitchen a while longer, thinking about Kara and what my mom had said about raising the bar.
I hate it when she's right
. I speed-dialed Kara's cell. One ring...two...

"Hey, Kase! I was just going to call you."

Sure you were. Mom guilt-tripped you.
"Cool." I kept my tone light. "Can you talk? Or are you busy?"

"No, it's fine. I'm on I-10 and traffic's not bad."

"All right. So for real. What's your schedule? Sage was asking me so she could get things ready."

"Aww! I love your girlfriend. I'm on my way to Mom and Dad's right now. I should be there around eight Arizona time. I thought I'd leave for Albuquerque Wednesday morning."

"Are you sure? That's only, like, a day with Mom and Dad." I swirled the tea in the bottle.

Pause. "And?"

"I just--um--shit, I don't know."

Kara giggled. "Girl, you know how it goes. After about a day Mom starts asking me when I'm going to go to law school so I can become a lobbyist. Then Dad wants to know about my latest boyfriend. Then Joely calls to find out what project I've been working on so she can write yet another freakin' whale-lovin' hempgrowin' hippie story." She sighed. "Does she not know anybody else to write about?" She asked plaintively. "Is our sister deprived of human companionship?"

I grinned in spite of myself. "Good point. I'll tell Joely it's time to write about lesbians who research the latest in neo-Nazi ideology and fashion."

"Would you please? I'm so tired of being a stereotype at her department meetings." Kara laughed, but I thought I detected some tension underneath it.

"I'll see what I can do. Okay, do you want me to pick up any kind of food in particular?"

"Nah. You guys eat pretty much the way I do."

"So you're not still vegan?" That surprised me.

"I go through phases. I'm in a fish and poultry phase now. Which pretty much ruins Joely's day, I guess. I'm not the pure-asthe-driven-snow hippie chick anymore."

"When did that happen?" I moved the phone a bit so I could take another drink of tea.

"About four months ago. I wasn't feeling well and my acupuncturist recommended animal-based protein so I reintroduced it and started feeling better right away."

"Wow. So, are you--"

"Yes. I've reconciled it with my belief system..." She trailed off. "Jesus, I sound like Dad. Smack me when I get there."

"Nah. The realization is punishment enough."

Kara hooted. "You're pretty damn funny for my uptight older sister."

"Thanks. I guess."
Uptight?

"No worries, Kase. That's why you have me in your life. To loosen you up a bit. Oh--hold on--gotta pass this guy."

I waited while she performed the action.
Uptight?
I heard music in the background but I couldn't identify it.

"Okay, I'm back. Anyway, can you e-mail me directions to your place? I know Central and Nob Hill all right, but those residential areas--not so sure."

I leaned against the counter. "Yeah. I'll do that tonight. Anything else?"

"Not a damn thing. I'll call you if anything changes."

"Awesome. Drive carefully."

"Will do. Love ya. Bye."

"Bye."

I stood staring at my phone. Aliens. That was the only explanation. Aliens had landed and one obviously took over my sister. She sounded relaxed and--what was the word I wanted? Mature?
Holy shit, yes. Mature.
I set my phone on the counter and finished my tea. When was the last time we'd just hung out together? I pursed my lips, thinking. Not this past Christmas. We'd all been in Tucson for a couple days and Kara did some bonding with Sage but not with me. It had been over a year. Maybe things could be different this time.

I rinsed my bottle out and took it to the recycling bin in the mud room before I returned to my computer, where I sat staring at the crumpled-up article from Saturday's
Journal
. I hadn't pursued it further, too weirded out at the possible connection to Sage's dad. Still, I wanted to know more about how things worked on Indian land and I was particularly interested in Navajo beliefs about death. I reached over and turned on the receiver to the small stereo system I'd installed in this room. I tuned it to KUNM, a local public radio station, and reached for the piece of paper on which Sage had written Ellen Tsosie's e-mail address.

Chapter Four

"DO YOU THINK I'm uptight?" I tried to sound nonchalant as I cut into my enchilada, watching Sage out of the corner of my eye. She sat at the end of the table and I sat to her right.

She served herself from the ceramic bowl that held the Spanish rice. "In what sense?"

"Any."

"That's not a fair question," she said. "We all have uptight moments, depending on the circumstances. Myself a case in point these past couple of days." She arched an eyebrow and smiled at me.

"Okay," I conceded. "Uptight all around. In the existential sense."