The Time Until (12 page)

Casually, Katelyn raises the armrest in between
us and scoots closer to me, placing her hand on my chest and head on my
shoulder.
 
I instinctively put my arm
around her.
 
I feel a gentle feeling in
my chest. It’s a pleasant feeling of comfort.
 
I like having her in my arms like this, though I still can’t help but
compare her to Sam.

That’s definitely something I’ll have to stop
doing in the future.

My breath catches as Katelyn trails her hand
down my chest.
 
She stops short of my
waist and
raises
up slightly to get to my neck.
 
She kisses my neck and slips her tongue along
my jugular sending pinpricks throughout my body settling between my legs.
 
My body is reacting in kind.
 
Kate lightly sucks on the base of my neck,
where the shoulder and throat meet, and I accidently let out a soft moan.
 
I can feel her smile on my skin her hand
travelling lower until it rests on my thigh dangerously close to my extremely
happy place.

“All good things to he who waits,” Kate tells
me as she squeezes my thigh and lightly pecks my cheek again.
 
I’m so turned on I want to jump her right
now, but I have self-control — or at least I have to continually tell myself I
do.
 
The movie ends and I have no idea
what happened in it.
 
The lights come on
and everyone starts to leave.

I’m not moving at all.
 
Katelyn gets up and starts to leave when she
notices that I’m not following her.
 
She
looks at me curiously and I smile a small smile as I motion to my lap.
 
She laughs loudly — of both humor and
appreciation, I hope — when she looks down.
 
It only takes a few minutes for me to calm down, which leaves us the
last ones in the theater.
 
Kate seems to
have come down with a case of the giggles since she can’t stop smiling and
chuckling as we make our way out.

“It’s
all your
fault
you know,” I scold her, trying to distract her.
 
It has the opposite effect because she starts to laugh even more.

“But, it’s so funny,” she giggles.
 
I’m seriously getting embarrassed.
 
I start to walk faster as I pull my cell
phone out to call my dad.
 
The laughing
is starting to play with my mind, making me think things about her laughing at
my hard-on.
 
Insecurities abound, I tell
you.
 
My change in demeanor doesn’t
escape Kate’s notice as she rushes up to me and lightly touches my elbow
turning me to face her.
 
She looks
remorseful.

“Sorry,” she starts, “but I’m happy I have the
effect on you.”

I think about telling her that I’m a teenage
guy and just about anyone of the female persuasion doing what she did to me
would cause the same reaction from me.
 
I
refrain from saying that and simply nod my head.

“Seriously, I’m sorry.”

“I know.
 
I was just overreacting a bit, that’s all.” I take her into my arms
again.
 
She squeezes me and the memory of
the theater threatens to reawaken my libido.
 
A honk from the parking lot interrupts us and Kate looks over.
 
She waves at what I assume is her mother in
the car.
 
I guess the date is over.

“Sorry, my parents are pretty strict about
curfews.
 
I’m sure she’s been waiting
here nearly the whole time.”

“It’s fine.
 
I should be calling my parents for a ride anyway.”

Katelyn surprises me by getting on her tippy
toes to get right in my face.
 
Her nose
barely touches my nose as she looks my in the eyes.
 
I can’t help but swallow a nervous bump in my
throat.
 
Is this it?
 
God, I hope so.

“It’s customary to kiss on the first date if it
went well, right?” She drops her eyes to my lips and the light brush of her
breath clouds my mind.
 
I take the lead,
grab her and pull her to me, pressing my lips to hers.
 
It’s not a hungry kiss, barely closed mouth
and no tongue.
 
There is no exploration
and no powerful need from our lips as we work them against each other.
 
The warmth of her breath mixed with mine
causes the heat in the kiss to escalate.
 
The kiss is devoid of lust and love, but it’s not devoid of
emotion.
 
It’s not a kiss of lovers.

It’s the sweet kiss of hope.
 
Hope of something more.

The kiss of like.

As our mouths separate, we both smile.
 
She turns to leave and I let her go,
reluctantly.
 
My mouth still feels the
lingering effect of the embrace.
 
My
smile lifts higher as I feel the butterflies dance in my stomach.
 
I don’t hate the feeling of excited
nervousness.

It’s the same feeling I used to get from Sam
whenever she used to hang on me.

“I’ll see you on Monday.” Katelyn yells over
her shoulder just before she gets into the car and drives away.

All in all, a great first date.

Present Day

The soft click of the room door wakes me up.
 
I’m still holding Sam’s hand and I have a
pool of drool on my cheek.
 
Ethan turns
the corner as I wipe the wet mess from my face.

“How you holding up?”

“As well as can be expected,” I answer with a
shrug.
 
I look at Sam again and a lump
forms in my throat.
 
I choke it down as
Ethan places his arm over my shoulder to give me a friendly squeeze.

“Come on,” he starts, “let’s get you back to your
room.
 
I hear our little lady here has
some physical therapy to get done.”
 
I go
to argue, but stop after I realized that they’re probably going to move the
blanket out of the way.
 
I’m definitely
not ready to see the condition of her legs.

I would shatter.

I nod my head and Ethan wheels me out of the
room.
 
I steal one more glance at her
before I lose sight completely and then steel my emotions until the time I see
her again.
 
Nate and Mary sit on the
bench outside the door and they both stand when Ethan and I exit.

I must look really terrible since Mary breaks down
crying and drops to her knees to wrap me in a massive sobbing hug.
 
I hug her back since I need the hug more than
I thought I did.
 
Nate grips my shoulder
in comfort.
 
Surprisingly, his minor act
of sympathy makes me feel better.

It takes a minute, but I’m finally able to pry
myself from Mary’s grasp and we make our way back to my room after a few
farewells.
 
Entering my room feels
strange; it’s less inviting.
 
It feels
darker and more imposing.
 
I can’t stop a
chill from trailing my spine.

Seeing Sam was bittersweet.
 
The reunion answered a lot of questions I’ve
been having lately, but it also brought about new concerns.
 
I’m happy to know finally how she’s doing
having seen it with my own eyes — eye, I have to get used to that — but at the
same time, I’m depressed by the state of her body.
 
Sam will have a lot to adjust to if — when,
damn it! —
she
wakes up from this.

Now I have
to worry about the future
.

That has been plaguing my thoughts since waking up
in this hospital a few days ago.

Am I strong enough to support her when she needs
it?

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure I am.

“You want me to stay again?” Ethan startles me — I
forgot he was there.

“No,” I shake my head and answer, “I want to think
about things a bit tonight.” Ethan nods his head, helps me into bed before
saying his goodbyes, and leaving for the night.

I’m finally alone with my thoughts.

In retrospect, being alone in the dark, in a
hospital, isn’t a great idea when trying to think about important things like
the future of your life.
 
The nurses have
come in three times already trying to find some stupid excuse — checking vitals,
IV, etc., and turning the T.V. on or off — to make sure I’m not depressed or
suicidal.
 
It would be cute if not for
the fact that I find it annoying.

It’s nearly impossible to think when I get
interrupted every ten minutes.

Somehow, I manage to focus despite the
interruptions; before long it’s really late and I have to piss.
 
I look around and contemplate pushing the red
nurse’s button.
 
It only takes one really
embarrassing memory of me using a bowl to pee in for me to say screw it and try
to make it to the bathroom on my own.

Getting out of bed is easier than the last time
and I take that as an encouraging sign.
 
I stand by the side of my bed holding on to it for balance, though I’m
not sure I actually need it.
 
My legs are
solid and convincing, but the real test will be moving.
 
Taking the first step on my journey makes my
entire body scream, but I remain upright.
 
Protesting the entire time, my body is surprisingly obedient.
 
I only have to use the walls for the bare
minimum of the support they offer.

The trip is slow and slightly painful, but
otherwise I’m making good progress.

After making it to the toilet and finishing my
business, I wash my hands, and take a quick look at myself in the mirror.
 
The bandage covers almost the entire left
side of my face and head.
 
My short dirty
blonde hair is starting to grow out a little.
 
My one good eye seems to have lost some of its sky blue shine and gained
a slight streak of red.
 
I slowly start
to lift the bandages from my eye, hands shaking slightly as I go.
 
I’m not sure I want to see what it looks like
under there yet.
 
I
pause
my hand and stare into my good eye until everything around it disappears.
 
The entire room distorts causing me to lose
my focus and drop my hand.

I’ll try again some other time, when I’m braver.

I turn away from my reflection and make the easier
trip back to my bed.
 
The nurse comes in
as I start to climb back into bed and she looks surprised.

“Did you just go to the bathroom by yourself?” she
asks obviously knowing the answer.
 
I
answer with a short acknowledgement as I adjust myself to get comfortable.
 
A satisfied groan escapes me when I finish —
I had no idea walking the few feet to the bathroom would be this tiring or make
me this sore.
 
The nurse comes over and
helps me fix the blankets.
 
She checks my
vitals and meds, turns the volume down on the television, and then leaves with
a brief a farewell before closing the door.

It’s late and I have yet to come to a conclusion
about my future. However, the trip to the bathroom made me even more tired and
I’m feeling a little proud of myself for making it without passing out. I think
I’ll reward myself with a nap.

I can always
think about things tomorrow
, I tell myself as my eyes grow heavy.

5 Years Ago (Age 15):
 
February

The date last night is still on my mind — actually
the kiss is still on my mind, but that’s part of the date, right? —
as
Sam comes walking into my room.
 
Being February, Sam is bundled up and I can’t
help thinking that, despite the layers, she has a great body.
 
Kate has her features and they definitely
intrigue my interest, but Sam seems to have the whole package.

“So,” she says removing her jacket to reveal a
shirt that is cut way too low for the weather outside, “where are the
pics
?”

“They’re over here,” I tell her as I motion
toward the table by my bed.
 
Sam plops
herself on my bed and grabs the pictures.
 
I get a nice view as she
lays
on her
stomach.
 
Her jeans are way tighter than
she usually wears and they show off her ass and panty-line nicely.

Sam flips through the pictures and giggles at some
of the fun ones, the ones he’s messing around with his platoon buddies.
 
I sit down on the bed next to her and look at
them over her shoulder.

“So, you and Katelyn Price?”
Sam never looks away from the pictures in front of her; I’m left staring at the
back of her head.
 
I can almost hear the
real question she wants to ask, “Why is it you and Kate?”

“Nothing’s official, but we have some fun
together.” Sam shifts from lying on her stomach to propping herself up and
looking at me eye-level.
 
She’s holding
back a lot and I can tell there is more she wants to say from her eyes.

She looks sad.

“So you guys aren’t together
together
?” What is she all worked up about?
 
She has a boyfriend — a jackass of one, but
still.
 
Why does she have to get in my
way?

 
“No, Sam,
we’re not together
together
.” That came out way
bitterer than I wanted.
 
I need to check
the attitude and control my emotions a bit, even though Sam has been completely
unsupportive of my budding relationship.

For some reason, I’m actually getting mad at
her now.

But all that anger disappears in an instant
when Sam slams her lips into mine and runs her fingers through my hair.
 
My brain shuts off immediately and I’m
running on autopilot.
 
Sam grips my hair
so tight it hurts a little, but she’s also pulling me into a deeper kiss, so
I’m not even feeling it.
 
Her tongue
tastes just as sweet as I remember.
 

“So there’s still room for me?” Sam asks into
my still eager lips, her breath sending sparks into my brain.
 
Suddenly, my body catches up with her attack
— my arms reach out and crush her into me, her breasts completely vanishing
into my chest.
 
I’m in lust heaven; I
doubt I could stop kissing her if I wanted to.
 
Her fingers start threading themselves along my head, sending shivers
down my spine.
 
Her lips work ferociously
against mine with the desperate need that usually only comes from
starving.
 
Her desperation is making me
react in kind.
 
I grip her hair in my
fist and violently pull her away from my mouth.
 
We’re both gasping for breath as I gently lay her on her back and
position myself on top of her.

Sam smiles invitingly and I press my entire
length on top of her, lips already devouring each other.
 
She slides her hand down my spine and
clutches my ass, smashing us together.
 
My stiff length, having her so close and knowing it, is painfully trying
to free itself from its cloth prison.
 
Sam continues to pump her hips against me as she moans loudly at the
resulting friction.
 
I take over the
motion and free her hands for something else — which turns out to be fisting
the pillow above her head.
 
Heat from the
friction of our clothes — and overly aroused organs — creates a pleasurable
burning feeling.

I can almost feel her folds wrapping around my
girth; the imagery is killing me.

I slowly slide my hand under her shirt and
along her side, feeling her skin, and relishing the sharp shutter the motion
causes her to do.
 
Gently, I palm her
side just below her breast and use my thumb to probe her willingness for me to continue.
 
Softly touching the underside of her breast,
she lets out a surprised, but sensual, gasp. I take that to mean that I can
move forward.
 
Using my thumb I gently
search her mound for the peak and, upon finding it, tenderly rub it between my
fingers — bra and all.
 
Sam’s body bucks
violently from the action and I can’t stop my satisfied grin from spreading on
my face.

“Like that?” Sam can only nod as she clenches
the sheets and in her fists.
 
I
‘barely-there’ kiss her neck down to her shoulder and then smoothly trail my
tongue back up the same path until I reach just below her ear.
 
She moans softly as she turns her head to
allow me easier access and I softly blow on the path my tongue made.
 
Goosebumps pop up as she sucks in a breath.

I keep working her nipple and sucking on her
ear as the friction between us continues to build.
 
I can hear Sam’s breathing start to pick up
speed and mine matches her rhythm.
 
I nip
my teeth in the spot between her neck and shoulder and her body shakes
violently.
 
She lets out a stifled scream
and then collapses onto the bed as she gasps for breath.
 
I don’t know exactly what happened, but I
have an idea that she just had an orgasm.
 
I thought it was going to be more explosive, this was more of a release.

It feels good to know that I was the one who
released her.

If dry humping is like that, I can’t wait for
the real thing.

Sam pulls me down to her and forces my head
onto her shoulder.
 
We lay there for a
minutes as we both try to catch our breath.
 
I’m surprised at myself; I thought I would be more nervous or
self-conscious when the time came like this.
 
I wasn’t.
 
In fact, I felt in
control.
 
Collected.
 
My body moved in time with hers as if it had
been doing it for years.
 
Smiling I think
to myself, “We must really be compatible”.

I allow myself this brief bit of joy and
happiness.

“You’re
mine
always
and forever, Al,” Sam whispers into my ear.
 
This one phrase is enough to wake my brain up.
 
I relive all that we’ve done and I can’t help
but get angry with Sam and myself for it.

She has a boyfriend and she’s making moves on
me like that?

Why did she make moves on me?

Does she have feelings for me?

Or is it just that she thinks she has to do
this to keep me as a friend?