The Touchstone Trilogy (108 page)

This afternoon, after my medical session and Kaoren's training is done, we're going to go for a walk along the lake (with Lohn and Mara and Nils and Ketzaren, since Kaoren's not allowed to take me anywhere alone any more).  I also want to take a trip up the river to see if I can work out roughly where I arrived from Earth, and Kaoren is going to try and arrange that, but says there might be resistance.

Wednesday, September 3

Cattiness

Really enjoyed the walk yesterday afternoon, although Lohn and Nils started asking me questions about my arrival here (ten months ago!), and then took great delight entertaining the kids with a highly coloured history of Cassandra Devlin.  Ys produced some marvellously incredulous looks.

Mara hates being injured.  Even Taren science won't let her shrug off massive blood loss, bite wounds on arm and side, and crushing fractures.  During our mild walk I could see her tiring, and getting frustrated with herself, and Lohn watched her like a hawk, all the while pretending not to, so I guess he's under orders not to fuss.  Sen provided a useful excuse to fly back – which is a pretty spectacular thing to do at sunset beside a lake.  We endlessly confused a flock of ducks, and since Rye seems to be fascinated by animals, Nils kidnapped the kids to follow after them for a while, and brought three very pink-cheeked children back for a goodbye dinner for Second, who returned to Tare today.  Nils took Ghost with him, and I'll miss them both rather a lot.

I can just imagine the reaction of those ducks. 
Whatthehellare- Fly faster!  Fly faster!

I'm enjoying our new evening routine – we played a maths game this time, which was far easier for me than spelling, with Kaoren only just edging me out of first place.  If I ever do beat Kaoren in one of these things, it won't be because he let me win.  I told him I'd own him in a game of
Pictionary
and he had me describe what that was and that's what we're going to play later today.

I also dug out some of my bubble bath, which made it impossible to get Sen out of the bath until I pointed out that it would mean we wouldn't get through a whole chapter of
Caves of Nonora
before she was supposed to be asleep.

Ys and Sen bathe in their bathroom, while Rye uses ours.  I generally leave them alone for it, but noticed today when I offered the bubble bath that Ys was being very careful not to let me see her back.  It's hard to decide whether that's out of shame, or distrust of me, but it did mean I had to go into the lounge and take a lot of deep breaths.

Most of today Kaoren and I were at Kalasa for a multi-purpose assignment allowing the various recently-arrived Setari to be 'judged by Muina', and for me to do a very minor visualisation, and also to let this latest batch of Setari enhance while my attachment to the Ena is increased so they become aware of the mechanism.

The first task scheduled, though, was to bring down the shielding on the malachite marble building so they can run a new series of scans, and since they currently don't want me near it, I was given permission to go outside the city valley until they were ready to move on to the enhancement rounds.  It's early Spring at Kalasa, and while Kaoren was with the group staring at the Green Stone of Possible Doom, the rest of Fourth took me out the valley gate, which opens high above the lake with a view down over sweeping slopes still patched with snow, but otherwise totally covered in wildflowers.

Snow and masses of flowers side-by-side were a new thing for me, and Fourth Squad were as interested as I was during the short walk along a newly-worn path to the research building which has been named after me.  The mass of colours didn't have as strong a scent as I'd expected, but tremendous variety.

'Caszandra' (or 'Kaszandra') is an iceberg.  A few small blocky buildings providing entrances, and quite a large complex below ground.  Iskel Teretha, the pinksuit who was the head administrative person for the research station, took us on a tour, chatting happily about all the particular challenges they faced there – the island gets far worse weather than Pandora, and doesn't have a Ddura which can be summoned, so Ionoth are a regular occurrence.  So they have all this gorgeous view but live underground and have to have an escort of greensuits to go outside the buildings, even with a Setari squad periodically coming out to sweep the island and near-space.

I spent the entire tour thinking in terms of Underground Science Complex = Evil Lair and trying to decide if it was more James Bond or Zombie Infestation.  I did check out escape routes, but managed not to ask if the building had a self-destruct sequence, just as I manage (if only barely) not to say "You killed my father, prepare to die," on the rare occasions I get to introduce myself these days.  It still bugs the hell out of me that all the jokes I'd worn thin with repetition back home are completely inexplicable here.

Though I have a cunning plan about that, which I must put into operation sooner rather than later...

Anyway, after a brief consultation over whether the greysuits had found anything poisonous about the flowers, I received permission to pick myself a glorious bunch of them (some of which I later gave to Mori, who looked like she wished she could be all non-professional on duty and pick some too).

My visualisation test was located in the empty building the technicians are using for headquarters down near the platform junction.  They wanted me to increase my connection to the Ena, and then try to visualise the room at the time of the March of Dawn – and absolutely not the time of the disaster.

Having a bunch of people come and paw me while my mind is elsewhere isn't something I'm all that comfortable with, even with squads I don't dislike.  I'd never discussed her with him, but Kaoren knows perfectly well that I could do without Forel, and that's probably why he told me beforehand that he'd be with me the whole time.  And it looked to me like he sent the captain of Eighth (his friend Ro) to make sure all of Seventh stayed at a distance until my senses were fully expanded and I wasn't focused on how little I liked Forel around – and instead on the discovery that there's lots of little furry animals like lemmings or guinea pigs living in burrows on the island.

After attempting a little furry animal count, I followed flocks of birds until I started to feel vague at my centre, and withdrew back to myself enough to notice that a greysuit, Maze, Inisar and Kaoren were sitting with me, which was the signal to switch to trying the visualisation.  For  a few moments it felt like I wouldn't be able to do anything – my mind was so hard to focus – then instead of dipping into Kalasa's past I ended up creating a projection of the weird squiggly power things I'd seen while I was sleeping.  I did it across the entire city for quite a while until I noticed that I had developed three greysuits instead of one, and it occurred to me to stop.  I felt fine, but my brain activity, breathing and heartbeat had really slowed again, which means I get to spend all afternoon having blood tests and scans.

But the projected squiggles pleased the technicians, and overall it was considered a good result day.  All of the Nurans passed Muina's judgment, which didn't surprise me at all.  And Forel passed, which I guess is a good thing, since it was neither nice nor sensible of me to hope that she'd be the first Setari who failed.

But, bored in medical, I played back what the interface had recorded while my mind wasn't paying attention, and got an earful.

Kaoren had as promised stayed with me the entire time, and the Setari visited me in pairs to spend about a minute each touching my arm or hand and having the mechanism of the enhancement made very clear to them.  Forel was the last to come, and shifted from a neutral, surprised comment about the mechanism to saying how much she admired Kaoren's ability to keep me calm, and that he was doing a fantastic job with me.

All Kaoren said was: "Cassandra manages herself very well.”

"I have to admit I was surprised you went into this," Forel added, being all confiding and secretive.  "Though you always were one to put the mission above all else."

I wish my eyes had been open so I could have recorded the expression on Kaoren's face.  "If you've finished exhibiting your complete ignorance of who I am," he said, "it's time to move on to the next stage of this outing."  Cold, irritated, bored.  The very arrogant person he prefers not to be, goaded into making clear his disdain for Forel.  She didn't say anything else, but laughed as she left, very smug and purry.

I don't know if she hoped I'd hear, or if she really believes Kaoren has been ordered to sleep with me.  It's made me think a lot – not about Kaoren being in love with me, because I have no doubt that he is – but about how he behaves with other people.  How he used to behave with me, when he was trying to keep me out.  I remember that I used to think he wasn't a very nice person – not nasty like Kajal, but hardly brimming with kindness and goodwill toward all.  There are very few people he takes a personal interest in, and for the rest he is either very professional, or doesn't care about at all.

I would be very much in the mood to do interesting things to Kaoren right now, except the medics bored with blood tests and started fooling around with the burns on my stomach again, and have given me a shot of something which makes me want to vomit.

Thursday, September 4

Into each other

Kaoren can draw.  Really well – quick, effortless lines which immediately capture what he's trying to portray.  I should have expected it, given what he'd told me about his family, and what I'd seen of his brother's work.  When he chose to put all his energy into becoming a Setari instead of following his family's lead, it wasn't out of lack of artistic ability.

I was being very laid-back after dinner, thanks to floaty drugginess mixed with queasiness, and so reacted to Kaoren's skill only with a variety of pleased wonder, much as the kids did.  Kaoren had had Ro Kanato create a random list of words which people from three different worlds and wildly different age groups would have a chance of drawing and guessing.  It was a fun game, and Rye wasn't able to not laugh.  Ys will be the hardest to crack, but she tried very hard with her drawings, and spoke when guessing Kaoren's, and when she and Kaoren won she went very pink (and extra-basilisky) when he told her well done.

It was only later, when we were trialing stuffing a large number of pillows between us (which lasted about half an hour until Kaoren decided queasiness was not enough reason not to curl up with me), that I worked my way around to asking him not only about how he felt about drawing, but also about Forel's comments.

"Do you think Forel really believes you've been ordered to sleep with me?  Or was she hoping I'd hear and get upset?"

He went still a moment – his usual reaction to me saying something he didn't expect – then leaned forward to look at my face.  Then leaned back.

"If I believed that comment was intended for you, she'd be on report right now, but it was very likely her attempt to rationalise a situation which unsettles her."  He reached across the barrier of pillows to touch my hand.  "You didn't feel a moment's uncertainty, did you?"

Kaoren looked rather wry when I explained that the possibility had occurred to me our first night together, but agreed that it would have been a particularly stupid move on his part.  He wanted to know why I'd been so thoughtful all evening, if Forel hadn't upset me, and I told him I'd been thinking about how he behaves with the kids, and whether I'd changed him, or just given him an opportunity to be more 'himself'.

He wasn't really sure which better fit about how he felt with me, but he knows he is behaving in unexpected ways.

"I haven't drawn for years," he said.  "I stopped completely during a home visit when I was thirty.  That was such – it caused the rift between Arden and I.  But I needed to put it aside to follow this path, and I've not done more than take Siame to exhibitions since.  Yet when you suggested that game, so sure that it was something I couldn't do–"

"Had to prove me wrong?"

"Anticipating your expression made producing a handful of sketches a strangely minor issue.  I'm finding myself capable of more than a few things that I thought I could not devote time to, and I suspect what you've changed is my sense of proportion."

That was about the point he decided there were too many cushions.

Nothing much happening today – Fourth is out jogging again.  But the medics tell me they'll leave my bandages off today.  My stomach has this big silvery band of crinkling skin curling around my side.  Tomorrow another trip to Kalasa.

Lessons

When the kids came back from 'school' today Sen was a bit hyper and over-energetic, so I asked what she'd been doing and found that since all the other children were having classroom lessons, my three were doing interface lessons in a study room all day (except for lunch).  Ys and Rye are fine with this, but Sen has the Sights to be completely aware she isn't playing with real people, and thus isn't as responsive to the interface teacher.

I went and liberated a couple of balls from the Setari training rooms – a variety used for dodging practice – and though they were a little zingier than a tennis ball they were fine for handball.  We played on the patio, marking a line with a scrape of mud.  There was just enough room for a four-way battle, or two two-sided battles.  I doubt I would have played there if Seventh were back from their Kalasa patrol, but it was just parts of First Squad in residence, and Sen really loved it when Maze played against her but down on his knees, especially since he always seemed to manage to hit balls she had a chance of returning.  Lohn had a match with Rye and Zee played Ys.  When the kids were tired out Zee, Maze, Lohn and Ketzaren had an amazing all-out battle.  I've been playing handball since primary school, and they were all better than me in about five minutes.

When Fourth returned from jogging (all sweaty and tired – Kaoren's pushing their fitness again), Sen insisted Kaoren and Maze match up, which is something Kaoren would normally refuse, but even Kaoren isn't immune to Sen.