The Touchstone Trilogy (35 page)

I figured out how to make the cover opaque, but dozed more than slept until after we'd taken off because the Ddura just wouldn't shut up, though it calmed down a lot.  Even worse would have been if everyone had died
except
for me.  I don't know if I would have been able to cope with that.  As it is, I'm not sure that I can cope with what I did totally by accident.  Every time I try and think through the consequences of that 'security clearance' my mind runs away.

I must have needed more sleep than I realised, since when Zee woke me up again we were back on Tare.  And then it was more scans in medical, and a long attempt to describe exactly what I'd done and thought after I touched the platform.  My sleep patterns are totally messed up, but until I have something scheduled, I guess it doesn't matter what shift I'm awake during.  Other than the medical scans, I've stayed in my room, just writing and trying not to think of everyone dropping dead in front of me because it hadn't occurred to me to try touching the platform. 

Change

Mara came by to tell me the results of the scans on the Setari who were on the Muina mission.  Aether has the same effect on them now that it does on me.  Just those four squads, though.  It still attacks anyone who doesn't have 'security clearance'.

"How are big arguments going?"

"Lively.  I doubt they'll change the scheduling of the next mission, but there's a good chance they'll alter the numbers.  It's all very well to talk of taking things slowly, but whoever says that also fully expects that they'll be included."  She pulled a face.  "And that's only in KOTIS.  It will be impossible to keep this from going public for long, and then we'll be factoring in a thousand special interest groups and the media.  Muina is such an emotive issue."

"Can't imagine Tarens actually living Muina.  Never go outside."

"A huge adjustment," she agreed, kicking me lightly for the teasing.  "Though I agree that some of those insisting on joining the next mission are going to find all that horizon a challenge.  The Setari have the benefit of environment training, but other parts of KOTIS aren't nearly so prepared."

"Looked like the leaves were turning.  Will be very pretty."

She didn't know what I meant, and we spoke for a while about Autumn and Winter – Tare doesn't seem to have seasons beyond stormy and really stormy – and then about the potential pressure on the Setari of trying to work on two different planets.  All of the squads which went to Muina yesterday are on rotation tomorrow, and the next day is the start of the extended mission.  Mara warned me that while Third and/or Fourth will certainly be sent, they're likely to use other squads to support them.

"Taarel and Ruuel are both people you can be confident with.  If something happens that worries you or makes you uncomfortable, overcome this tendency to keep it to yourself.  Object if there's things you don't want to do."

At that particular moment I was watching Ghost walk across the room behind Mara, and hoping she didn't turn around.  I wonder what she made of my expression.

"Will object if think will make difference," I said, reasonably enough.  I didn't want to have a needle in my spine, after all, but was sure that if I'd objected it would have meant being stuck in medical even longer until someone came and explained to me that it was important.  "Would you live on Muina, if able?"

She didn't answer immediately, then shrugged.  "I find it very hard to picture being able to.  But it's certainly nice to know it might one day be an option." 

Thursday, March 20

Interlude

Today I finally tracked down a place where I could buy a new diary: paper products do exist on this world, they're just rare.  It was amazingly expensive, and won't be delivered before I leave for Muina tomorrow, but I think I've enough book left to last.  I'm taking this one with me, since we're 'packing' for an extended stay.  I'm bringing my old school backpack, which amuses me a lot.

They've assigned the squads: Second, Third, Fourth and Eighth.  So no new squads, and none of the ones I really don't feel comfortable with.  I wish First was going though.  Who am I going to chat with?

What happens this trip is incredibly important to me.  I really need for it to be possible for someone else to give people security clearance.

Friday, March 21

Poetry, Death

I succeeded in being well-rested and on time for today's mission.  It's scheduled to last three days and we're currently about to go through the big gate into deep-space.  Eeli took care of any initial uncertainty I had by glomming on to me the second I showed up and taking me on a tour of the
Litara
, though by this time the only areas I hadn't seen were the flight deck, the research labs, and the 'airport lounge' meeting areas.

There was still some time before take-off by the time she brought me back to the pods, but most of Second and Third Squad were already sitting waiting.  You have to stay in your pod for take-off and landing, and when you go through the gate to deep-space.

"Are you able to tell me the rest of the poem now?"  Eeli asked, as soon as I'd sat sideways on my seat.  I could have wished she'd not waited till we had an audience, but at least it was only two squads.

"Guess.  Is poem written by man name Dylan Thomas.  Wrote for his father who was dying."  I felt marvellously uncomfortable, adding: "My voice really not suited to this," but making an effort to put some feeling into it.  I only know the poem because it was one of the few that we'd had to read in Eng-lit which I didn't outright hate.  I certainly don't go round reciting at the drop of a hat.

I got through it by looking only at Eeli, but my face felt very red at the end.  "That what wanted?"  I asked, feeling even worse when I looked around and saw that I had all the captains watching me from the far door, along with those who'd been in the room when I started.

Eeli was enthralled, and said: "You sounded totally different!  Like a different person!"

Annoyed, I told her: "Can actually speak own language, after all."

"But what does it mean?" Nils from Second asked, watching from the pod directly opposite.  "A part of that was what you said in the Pillar, right?"

"Yes.  Translation very bad, sorry."  I read off the translation I'd been working on, wishing the captains would go away.  If that gets put in the mission report I'll be extremely peeved.

"I got quite a lot of it!"  Eeli said, excited.  She cast a beaming look over at Taarel, like a kid who passed a hard test, then back at me.  "Thank you for telling me the rest.  It's so sad and at the same time beautiful, isn't it?"

I just smiled weakly at that, and was glad that the command came to prepare for launch.  And I wrote this up while they did lots of prep-checks and then took off and now we're heading toward the interplanetary gate which, for the first time in four trips, I might actually be awake for. 

Today's Assignment

The gate was dull.  You can't properly see it from real-space, and once you're in deep-space there's just whiteness.

It took maybe twenty-five minutes to reach the exit to Muina, and once we were through Grif – Grif Regan, the Second Squad captain – briefed us for the first part of the mission.  Unsurprisingly this involves going back to my town, and the Setari taking me down to visit the communication platform.  They're going to see whether anyone but me can give people security clearance (I am hoping so hard) and then, whatever the case, they're going to clear everyone on board, offload a heap of equipment and set up a camp just outside town, keeping anything explodable separate.  Then the
Litara
is going to leave us here.  After that the Setari are going to explore more, including in the near-space, while the greensuits guard the greysuits as they analyse everything they can get their hands on.  There's also a few non-KOTIS scientists of an archaeological extraction, brought in to begin the enormous task of recovering Muina's history.

Of first importance is the Ddura, of course, and whether it can be made to not blow up equipment, or if equipment can be given security clearance.

I think I'll need earplugs for the inside of my brain.

Saturday, March 22

Reprieve

The Ena manipulation talents can give people security clearance!  I'm so happy.  I didn't even hide my relief when we were on mission, and Taarel gave me the same sort of smile she gives Eeli, which was both nice and a little annoying, since she treats Eeli like an over-eager kid.

The Ddura didn't show up immediately, and we had finished clearing the ship's crew and were working on all the people who were going to be left here for the mission, before my ear-drums were blasted.  It was all hhhaaa and hhhhiiiii at the same time, because there were lots of people it recognised as Muinans and lots that it thought were Ionoth, and it came charging up in this huge hurry to kill all the evil non-Muinans threatening its precious people.

The Ddura is really kind of stupid.

I had to keep telling it to stop ('sit!') over and over until everyone was given clearance.  Then I had another shot at telling it not to make the things belonging to the Muinans explode, since all the drones from the last expedition had been exploded.  Just picturing the drones and the ship didn't seem to mean anything to it, even when I could get it to pay any attention to me, so we tried putting a new drone right on the platform and tried giving it 'security clearance' and that may perhaps have worked, they're not really sure.  The Ddura stopped treating it as a threat, anyway, so we did that for all the drones and any other largish bits of equipment we could get into the room.  Then it was time for me to go visit medical on the ship just before it left, since the best equipment was there, and then back to shore, all drugged up to rest on a cot in the temporary medical tent while they started the business of setting up camp.  I waited to watch the ship leave before lying down.

And now it's the middle of the night.  Fortunately Grif had sent me a summary of the camp arrangements, or I would have had to go stumbling about looking for the portaloo tents.  One of the greensuits on guard took pity on me and showed me how to get to the food which had been stored.

I'm going to try and go back to sleep now that I've written this.  At least the Ddura shut up eventually.  I don't much like spending all my time in uniform, either. 

Dawn

When I gave up on sleep this morning there was a mist rising off the lake in the pre-dawn dark.  The camp has been set up south of town and it's really impressive how much they've established in such a short time: mess hall, infirmary, sleeping tents, a central command, research and working areas.  Lots of canvas, but they'd brought a vat of their nanite building materials along and some 'real' buildings were starting to take shape.  When the Tarens make camp, they don't do things by halves.

There were lights on in the command tent.  The person in charge of the expedition is someone called Tsaile Staben, who I may or may not have been introduced to during the extreme-headache phase of yesterday, and one of the research tents was bustling with people who were obviously used to a different shift.

There's nearly a hundred people here.  I had no idea the mission was that large.  Now that everyone has been cleared by the platform, the Setari are support on this mission, not the main focus.  The greensuits are taking care of camp security, with the Setari acting as a kind of advanced warning system thanks to Combat Sight.  My role's been reduced to trying to communicate with the Ddura, which is no problem right now since it seems that the Ddura has recovered from its excitement and gone away.  Now that everyone has the same reaction to aether, I don't even have to worry about tomorrow's moonfall.

I was feeling oppressed and restless – I'd had way too much sleep – and decided to go down to the lake.  There was a greensuit posted on the lakeside edge of the camp, but I got past her just by nodding as I walked by, like no-one would think of objecting to me going anywhere by myself.  It's not as if the lake was very far away: the guard would have been within sight.  It was incredibly quiet, just a few birds starting to think about it maybe being dawn, and so long as I kept facing the lake it felt like I was alone.

Before too long a tiny clatter of rock warned me that wasn't true and I turned my head to see the leg of a person standing on the rock behind me, and a hand in fingerless Setari gloves.  And that was enough to know it was Ruuel.  It amazes me that I can recognise him from his hands.  Since Ruuel moves like a cat, I guess he must have made the noise deliberately, to prevent me from shrieking and leaping in the lake out of shock.  Heh – I can't help thinking what an epic fuss that would have made in the camp, though.

"Is there something further along the lake?" Ruuel asked, which was less of a lecture than I'd expected, but also warning that I'd been looking south a bit too speculatively.  But then, who am I to overlook an opportunity when it walks up and presents itself to me?

"Show you if want," I said, looking up at him.  "One of things I miss about here."

His eyes went that abstract way people get talking over the interface, and then he nodded.  I was pretty surprised, and then doubtful since it didn't seem likely I was going to be able to walk along the lake with Ruuel without obsessing over the fact that I was walking along the lake with Ruuel.  But it didn't really work out that way.  I was super aware of him, of course, but it was a beautiful morning, cold and crisp, and barely light enough to see, so I had to concentrate on not breaking my ankle.

It was a twenty minute walk, and was just getting on for proper dawn by the time we arrived at a small, deep stream draining into the lake, about a third of the way to the river that I'd walked along originally.  When we were in sight of it I murmured: "Have to be more quiet now," which was a fairly redundant thing to say to Ruuel.