The Trouble Way (23 page)

“
Don’t start something you can’t finish, Hon,” Linda said. “Be careful.” Linda passed her several items. Ann could tell what they were by the feel of them and put them in her smock pocket.

“
Don’t worry, I’ll be very careful Lindy,” Ann said. “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to see Candy’s face. Oh, one more thing, Lindy.”

“
What’s that Hon?”

“
I’ll finish what I started ... later” Ann said and gave Linda’s hand a squeeze. She turned and headed toward the Deli department.

“
Sorry for the delay,” Don said as he took the package from the employee who had queued ahead of Candy. “I’m just following orders from security. Right, Rick?”

“
Roger that, and I’m just following orders from Mr. Hedd,” Rick said. “Just be patient, we have to do a thorough package check. Just routine stuff. We’ve all been through it before.”

“
Very pretty,” Don said with a toothy grin when he pulled the two floral print bras from Candy’s lay-a-way package. “Let’s see, C-cup, just what I predicted.” He gave Rick an elbow in the ribs.

“
Care to model,” Rick said looking at Candy who quickly grabbed the bras and squeezed them into a ball. “Forget it Candy, we’ll wait to see if Ann has something to model, at least she’s got something to model.”

Don
laughed at Rick’s crude comment and began rifling through the pockets and zipper compartments of Candy’s new purse and stopped abruptly when he looked into a side pocket. He reached over and patted Rick’s arm and showed him what he had discovered.

“
What is it?” Candy said, looking from Don to Rick and back to Don. “What are you looking at?” She made a grab at the purse.

“Hold your horses, Missy,” Rick said and pulled the purse out of her range.
“We better go back to my office. Don, call Mr. Hedd and tell him we have some suspicious activity and to meet us in the Security Office. “Let’s go, Candy.”

“
Roger that,” Don said. His smile disappeared and he reached for the in-store phone.

“
What is it?” Candy said.

“
Just come with us Candy,” Rick said and took firm grip of Candy’s arm and escorted her toward the rear of the store. Rick looked at Don. “We’ll have to suspend operations here for the time being.”

“Right,” Don said.

“I know how to walk,” Candy said, jerking her arm loose.

As Rick and Candy walked past the Deli Department, Ann looked at Candy with a huge smile and rubbed the side of her nose with her middle finger in a most casual way.

“Bu-bye,” Ann said as if she were the stewardess giving a perfunctory goodbye to deplaning passengers.

“
I hate you Ann,” Candy said as she passed, flanked by the security manager and gimpy Don.

Linda walked up next to Ann and put her arm on Ann
’s shoulder. “What ever happened,” Linda said.

“
Apparently, Candy was trying to smuggle something out of the store in her lay-a-way package.”

“
Isn’t that interesting,” Linda said. “I always took Candy for much smarter than to do something as stupid as that. Did you see what she had?”

“
No, I didn’t see anything. Rick kept everything hidden but I just have a feeling that’s what was in her purse was a couple of joints,” Ann said. “I hope little skank gets fired.”

“
She’s where?” Jesse said. He turned, slammed out the front door, and ran to his truck. Smoke rose from the rear tires and he turned north on Delridge way. He hadn’t gone a half a block when the red lights of a police cruiser flashed and an officer had him pulled to the curb.

“
He should have gotten his taillights fixed,” Linda said. “I knew he was going to get stopped sooner or later. I told him.”

Ann and Linda stood by the picture widows at the front of Big Richards as the police had Jesse spread-eagled against the hood of his truck and moments later cuffed him and put him in the back seat of the cruiser.

“I told Candy to be careful with that lid. I could smell it on him when he walked passed,” Linda said. “He’s just stupid enough not to conceal that lid and leave it on his dash.”

1970
’s

Dwight emerged from the men
’s room and navigated through the chairs and tables to where Linda was waiting. She had just plugged the jukebox and the first of six songs,
Crocodile Rock
by Elton John, started blaring as she returned to her table. Linda ordered a round and the barmaid had just delivered the Rainier and screwdriver to the table. She pulled a ten from her purse and handed it to the lady.

“
Don’t you just hate it when the toilet seat isn’t screwed down tight?” Dwight pulled the chair away from the two-top table and sat across from Linda. “It’s my number one pet peeve. It seems like it would be simple to check when they clean the bathrooms to see if the seats are screwed on tight once in a while. What the hell is the big deal? Someone could really get hurt. An idiot could do it.”

“
To tell you the truth, I don’t think about it. I don’t sit down in public bathrooms.” Linda searched in her purse for her Marlboros.

“
It really steams my ass. One time, over at Big Dicks I unscrewed the loose nuts on the toilet seat completely and threw them in the toilet and leaned the seat against the wall.” Dwight said with a smile. “It bugs the crap out of me, you know? I told the service desk girl, I think it was Martha, that the toilet was out of order, that it needed some serious maintenance. You know what she said? She said ‘which one, the men’s, or women’s?’ Can you believe that shit, the men’s, or the women’s. I said it was the women’s and she actually made a note of it for management. I couldn’t believe it. She actually wrote down “women’s.” That’s no shit. I saw what she wrote on the notepad. I didn’t correct her or nothing. I kept thinking about it all day.” He took a long swig, nearly chugging his beer. “God, that tastes good.”

“
Maybe we can talk about something else.” She held her cigarette in her mouth and looked at Dwight. “Do you mind?”

“
No problem. What would you like to talk about?” Dwight said and noticed the cigarette. “Oh, you want a light.” Dwight pulled out his Zippo and slid it across the table. “Here you be. Careful, it’s got a big flame.”

“
You’re such a gentleman, Dwight.” She held the lighter at arm’s length and flicked the Zippo and a flame shot up nearly a foot before settling down. “Holy shit, Dwight, what do you have in this, gasoline?”

“
I told you to be careful, it’s jet fuel, I get it from a buddy works at Boeing. It’s what the GI’s used in Vietnam … some macho thing.”

“
What do you mean you never sit down?”

“
They’re too dirty. I stand on the toilet seat and just sort of squat down. A lot of girls do it. Let’s just not talk about toilets. What are you doing this week end?”

“
I was just thinking about that. How would you like to take a drive up to Mt. Rainier? It’s really far-out. We could hit some of the trails if the goddamned weather will cooperate. Hopefully it won’t be socked in. The weather changes so damn fast up there, you have to be careful not to get caught in a sudden blizzard. Even in the summer. Out of the blue.”

“
Sure, I’d like to do that.”

“
Great, I’ll pick you up around nine on Saturday morning. See if your friend wants to go. She might like to get out for a walk in the mountains.”

“
I think Ann’s going someplace with some new guy this week end but I’m not sure which day. In fact, she hasn’t decided if she even wants to go out with him. I’m sure she would like to go if she’s free.”

“
Who’s the guy?” Dwight helped himself to a cigarette from the pack of Marlboros Linda left on the table.

“
Some customer she met at the store. I don’t remember his name. I met him briefly,” Linda said. “Real cute. She seems to have plenty of guys on the string.”

The barmaid came over to the table and picked up Dwight
’s empty bottle. “Another round?” she looked at Dwight as she wiped beer spills from the table.

“
Thanks, I’ll have another Rainier,” he said to the barmaid and couldn’t help himself and watched her backside as she headed to the bar.

“
Don’t let your eyes fall out.” Linda gave Dwight a slap.

“
You know how it is.” He gave her a grin and winked.

“
The last distribution center shipment had a load of tape players. The driver, he’s a good friend of mine, got one for each of us. He put both in the cab and I got mine on my lunch break at the Denny’s parking lot. My other player broke a couple of weeks ago.”

“
Won’t they be missed?”

“
We both signed the entire shipment as received on the manifest, no way to tell where they disappeared. There were over fifteen-hundred pieces on that shipment. Two items ain’t going to be missed.”

“
Not till they take an inventory, at least,” Linda said.

“
Well, yeah, right, not till inventory … but then it will be a tiny bit too late. Shit happens,” Dwight said. “Actually, shit happens a lot to
The Man
.” Another wink.

Dwight reached across the table and took Linda by the hand. They sat and listened to music, watching people come and go. Dwight put the beer to his lips, then stopped and lowered it.
“What if your foot slips?”

“
What?”

“
What if your foot slips into the toilet?” Wouldn’t that be worse than sitting on the toilet seat? Why don’t you use those paper butt gaskets?”

“
What in the heck is it with you and toilets, Dwight? Drop it.”

The barmaid brought the drinks and Dwight turned to the jukebox and tapped his fingers on the table. The barmaid waited and Linda gave her some cash.

“Uh, oh, thanks,” Dwight said when he turned back to the table. “I got the next round.”

“
You’re hitting them pretty hard, aren’t you?”

“
Yea, I guess I am. Been a long week. You know how it is.”

They sat and listened to the music and when the final record played, Linda took the last sip of her screwdriver.
“I’m tapped out, what say we go home?”

“
You work tomorrow?” Dwight asked.

“
Yeah, the late shift. You?”

“
I have to be there at seven. They’re expecting a big warehouse shipment. Do you have anything on your want list?”

“
I’ve been looking at a small TV. For my bedroom,” Linda said.

“
I’ll keep an eye out. If my man is driving and there is one on the truck, no problem. I’ll let you know. It may cost you a couple bucks, maybe ten. How about one of those new cassette players?”

“
That’s okay. I can afford a few bucks for the driver for the TV but I think I’ll hold off on a tape player. I have so many LPs now and I’d have to buy all of my music all over again.” Linda shoved her chair back and stood, reaching for her jacket on the back of the chair.

Dwight put away the last gulp of his Rainier, stood, and grabbed his own jacket, put his arm in the sleeve and turned to leave.

“I sure as hell wouldn’t want to get my foot stuck in a nasty toilet bowl,” he said. “You Asian chicks must have incredible balance. Can I watch sometime? I don’t want to see you actually doing anything, just the balancing part, that would be a real trip.”

“
Dwight, you definitely need to get a life.”

They walked out of the smoky Triangle to their cars.

“If you’re not in a hurry to get home, would you like to stop over for a little while? I have something I’d like to share with you.”

“
Sounds like a plan, Fran. I can’t wait. I’ll follow you,” Dwight said and walked her halfway to her car and turned to his. He watched as she drove out of the parking lot and got into his Mustang and headed south on Delridge Way, drove a mile and pulled in beside Linda’s car in front of her apartment building.

Linda had a nice place. A hell of a lot classier than his one bedroom apartment in Renton. She had prime stuff. Looked like new furniture. He wasn
’t sure if he bought into her story that her she got the best of her ex in the divorce. She always seemed to have plenty of cash. If he worked her just right, he got her to buy most of the rounds when they went drinking. Then there was her new Audi and recently she was wearing a fancy emerald ring. No, she had something going for herself, that was for sure. It sure as shit didn’t come from Big Richards. He pressed her on it a couple of times but she always managed to change the subject and he’d back off.

She turned on the stereo and put on a B.B. King LP.

“Help yourself to anything you like from the fridge. Grab me a beer, would you please, Hon?” she said and disappeared into the bedroom.

When she returned, she was in a fuzzy short-sleeve, V-neck sweater and a pair of white shorts. Her naturally dark skin made her look incredible in the shorts. He could see that she had run a brush through her long black hair and had brightened her full lips with a dark shade of lipstick. She was barefoot and he noticed her matching toenail polish.

“I’m going to turn down the lights a little, okay Hon?” she said and then lit an incense stick, which looked exactly like a punk for lighting firecrackers, in a tray on the bookshelf.

Dwight was waiting on the over-stuffed couch. He had placed two bottles of Rainier next to a stack of coasters on the glass-top coffee table.

Linda came to the couch and took a seat close to him. When he put his arm around her she noticed the beers on the table and wriggled out of his grasp.

“
Jeeze, Dwight. Do you know what these are for?” She took two coasters and held them in front of his nose. She placed a beer on each and walked into the kitchen to get a couple of napkins and wiped the water circles off the glass.

“
Sorry Babe. There’s just no satisfying you. Mmmmm, you smell nice. You always look so nice. You’re a vera sexa girl,” Dwight said, trying to get back in her good graces by mimicking one of those Mexican actors he’d seen in some comic movie.

“
You are such a smooth talker.” She smiled, kissed him in thanks, lingering a few seconds with her moist, full lips against his.

Pulling away, she leaned forward, opened a small, dark wooden box, decorated with carving on it that looked like bamboo shoots. There was a stone-carved ashtray with a book of matches in it on the coffee table. She flipped open the box and took out a roller and pack of Zig-Zags and a roach clip decorated with colorful braided yarn which she laid beside the box. She ripped a paper from the pack, tucked it with care between the rollers then chose a half-pinkie size bud from the box and rolled it between her fingers and crumbled the sticky pot onto the paper. Dwight could tell by the aroma that the weed was high quality. Her practiced fingers flipped the rollers closed and thumbed them till the end of the paper with the glue was left exposed. With a smile and a wink at Dwight, she slid her tongue over her lips, then ran her wet tongue down the length of the paper and used her thumbs to roll the perfect joint.
“Here you go, Hon. You first.” She handed the doobie to him and struck a match from the book and held it to the joint. He primed it, then took a long hit and held it.

“
This is some fine shit you got here,” he said, trying to talk without exhaling. He passed the joint back.

“
Always the best,” she said.

As she took a hit and held her breath, she placed her hand on his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, then put her hand on his chin and made him face her and leaned up to him and put her lips to his. She held his mouth snuggly to hers and exhaled into his lungs. He held it and finally released the air back to her. They repeated the breathing kiss, both taking the full effects of the hit before exhaling.
“That’s enough for me,” she said and stood and changed the LP to the flip side. “How about you? Getting a buzz on?”

“
Yeah, just about. Maybe a few more hits.”

She sat, put her cheek next to his, and whispered in his ear.
“My goodness, this stuff always makes me so horny. This batch is the best sex weed I’ve ever had.” She floated her hand upward on his leg, paused briefly to check his condition along the way, and found his belt. “What would you say if I make you more comfortable and we test this weed out? Lie back and make yourself comfortable. Let’s see what comes up.”

“
Lindy, you talked me into it.” Instantly horny, he did as she commanded and lay back on the over-stuffed cushions and gave her access to what she was eagerly seeking.

She pulled on the end of the wide leather belt, loosening the buckle, popped the metal button on his Levis, and slid the zipper down.
“Oh my,” she said and exposed what she was looking for. She slid from the couch to her knees and moved between his legs and with both hands positioned him and he felt the lipstick soft lips enveloping him. After a few seconds, she stopped. “This always gets me ready,” she said as she lowered her head and continued her unrelenting efforts.