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Authors: James Seloover

BOOK: The Trouble Way
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I will remember this forever,” Annmarie said, leaning forward and stretching full out on the length of him.


I’ll remember this too,” he said and held her tight and rolled her over. They managed an awkward sip of wine and he kissed her sticky lips and put himself in low and began a drive through his gears to the top of her hill.

He reached the top of his climb and the whistle blew at the distant lumber mill across the river.

“I love you, Jake.”

 

 

They had even made several trips the year he was in Idaho, one to Lake Tahoe, and another to Reno for a week each time. The people who knew of his liaisons with her predicted it wouldn
’t last. They had all been wrong. After he’d been transferred from Idaho, they still met, not as often, but, at least once a year and sometimes more over the years. She never divorced but was, never the less, ecstatic to see him each time they met.

He had several relationships and finally got married again fifteen years after getting free of the lunatic when he was twenty
. His soon to be wife threatened to move out if he didn’t. They married in the Touch of Love Chapel in South Lake Tahoe. It lasted several years but ended when he found his second wife was not as faithful as she seemed. Toward the end, he had decided that since she set the standard, it would be all right for him to see Annmarie every so often. The last time he’d visited Tahoe, he saw that the Touch of Love had been closed and reopened as a PayLess shoe store.

It may have been the long hours and working most all the weekends that did in the second marriage. There was no violence, no knives, or guns, just mutual verbal abuse that accompanies many failed marriages. At any rate, it ended shortly after he
’d been transferred to a Big Richards in Northern California.

One more transfer to Southern California ended when he was fired. He blamed the worker
’s conspiracy. He could never get complete control over the employees who were stealing and the customers doing the same. Waste was unacceptably high in that last store; that’s all it took and he was out.

 

 


It’s about a twelve hour drive, but I have to stop after eight hours. I can fudge the books a bit and be there by eight or nine tonight.

Fudging on The Man never ended, even as a lowly diesel jockey.

They’re about finished loading the pallets of Pepsi. A couple more and I’ll be on my way.”


You be careful, Jake. Have a safe trip,” Annmarie said. “I can’t wait to see you.”

 

 

She was sitting erect in the exact booth that she had been twenty-one years ago when he met her for coffee at the IHOP the day after they had danced at that country bar, The Cabin. It was still going strong.

“Hello, Jake.” Her voice had the same whisper he remembered from the first night he met her.


Hi, Honey,” Jake said. “You are looking as gorgeous as ever. Thanks for meeting me.”


You are looking pretty handsome yourself,” she said.


How about we get something to eat and then I can show you my new apartment on wheels.”


That sounds wonderful. How do you like your new job traveling around the country?” she said.


I like it today.”

They walked across the Big Richards
’ parking lot where his rig was parked.


You can be my lot lizard,” Jake said as he got in and reached down to help her into the cab and they crawled into the sleeping compartment.


What is a lot lizard?” She wriggled to get comfortable in the crowded space and they lay down next to each other.


I had a girl hop on the running board while I was laid over in Kingman, Arizona. I was at the truck stop on Andy Devine Boulevard. She was selling her goods. Truckers call ‘em lot lizards. I’d heard about them in truck driving school but that was the first time I’d seen one. I had to think twice about it, she was pretty good looking, and it had been a while. She asked me not to tell the police. I saw her get into a cab on the far side of the lot with a big fat guy who was driving a Swift truck.”


Almost took her up on it, huh? How very interesting,” she said. “Who’s Andy Devine?”


He’s a Hollywood cowboy. For some reason, that name sticks in my mind. My dad would kick us kids out of the house to go to the matinée on Saturdays. I found out later when I discovered a bunch of condoms under the mattress of my parent’s bed why he wanted us out of the house. He wasn’t always that nice. I remember Jingles was the name of Wild Bill Hickok’s funny sidekick. Apparently he was from Kingman. It surprised me when I saw a truck stop named after him.”


Anyway, just for shits and grins, I asked her what she charged. Twenty-five for a blow and fifty for bumpin’ fuzzies. It didn’t take her long in that fat guy’s truck; she was climbing out of his cab after about ten minutes. She was raking in more than I am. Her working conditions aren’t all that great.”


Okay, Jake, I’ll be your lizard for the night,” she said, looked googley-eyed, flicked her tongue out, and zapped his cheek. Then, nestling herself puppy-close, her sultry lips delighting his ear, she whispered, “And I’ll throw in a couple fuzzy bumps … on me.”

 

Chapter 16 Priscilla James
  A few years after that is when life with the lunatic commenced. It would not be the worst day he was ever going to have. She gave him a “not-cousin” kiss.

1970
- Present

Jake smiled when he saw the flourish of artistic swirls and recognized Priscilla
’s penmanship. He admired the cursive a moment, took out his pocketknife, and slit the envelope open.


You are invited to the Forest Family Reunion. I really, really want you to try to come this year. I haven’t seen you in such a long time, I love talking to you, even if it has only been through letters. But, I want to see you in the flesh. You have never been to a reunion before and, this time, Jake, I want you to come. Do it for me.”

Priscilla also wrote on two other topics, one about her converting to Mormonism and the second, a lengthy bit about her Mormon boyfriend, David.

Jake had accumulated three weeks of vacation at Big Richards and now had wheels that would make the long trip from Montana to Wisconsin, so he wrote back and told her he hadn’t been across the country since he was on vacation with his family as a kid and that he would be there for sure; just for her.

One of the most memorable highlights for Jake of that family trip was when he got a swat on the ass for something he had no idea he had done until several hours later. He
’d sat motionless for those several hours at which time his dad informed him of the reason. He’d kicked his dad’s arm while in a tussle with his sister in the front seat. It didn’t matter that the kick was inadvertent; apparently it still warranted a jarring swat. That was when he was seven and the memory of that little family bonding moment stuck with him for quite some time.

At any rate, he told Priscilla he would be looking forward to the reunion and he would be driving his new VW.

The last time he’d seen her was a number of years before at a choir performance she was in with her boyfriend at a big Portland high school.

An equal number of years before that is when he met her. Her parents had moved west to start a commercial fishing business with his dad. That is when he had fallen in love with her at first sight and not much later, on an impulse said to her,
“When I get older, I’m going to marry you.” Neither had reached their teens at that time. Their time together was much too short for Jake’s liking, only a couple of months.

Her mom became infected with a severe case of homesickness shortly after they arrived and she commenced badgering Jake
’s uncle until he surrendered to her unrelenting harangues and they skedaddled back east on Highway-30, the route in which they traveled west.

Shortly after the big skedaddle, Jake
’s dad died and a few years after that is when life with the lunatic, Janis, began. That little adventure screwed Jake up royally for three years specifically, and, just in general for quite a few years after that. The one thing he learned after a day, any day, with Janis was that it would not be the worst day he was ever going to have as long as he remained bound to her, guar-an-fuckin’-teed, as ol’ Roy used to say.

 

 


You are even more gorgeous than the last time I saw you,” Jake said when Priscilla greeted him with wide-open arms.

Jeez, I
’m still in love with you. It’s been an eternity.

He walked into those outstretched arms at the city park where the Forest and James
’ clan had set up with their BBQ’s and red-checked tablecloths with the bowls of potato salad, green Jell-O with carrot shavings, which to Jake, disqualified it as a desert because of the added vegetable, and cold slaw. She introduced him all around to the relatives he had never met and renewed his acquaintances with those he hadn’t seen since he was on that family vacation when he was seven.


Get some food and come sit by me,” Priscilla said.

One of the devout cousins, of which there seemed to be many, assumed Grace ought to be said and disrupted the beginning of the meal and assumed the
“Grace” attitude and in a solemn voice commenced. He was one of the “born again” sort. Jake had heard rumors of his rebirth in one of the smaller groups he mingled with before lunch. He had recently experienced a difficult and expensive divorce and sought solace first in alcohol, then in religion. Neither an inexpensive choice.

Jake had never been sure of protocol in situations as this so he mimicked Priscilla
’s lead and bowed his head. Feeling a bit the hypocrite he broke character until Priscilla elbowed him when she peeked and saw that he had given up any pretense of devoutness and was observing the curious ritual wide eyed.

I had
a difficult marriage. Damn near didn’t make it out alive. I’d be saying Grace, thanking Him for the divorce; forget about the thankfulness for the green Jell-O with carrot shavings.

He and Priscilla finally got to have a few private words after the crowd dwindled into little groups and Priscilla latched onto his arm and pulled him away from the picnic table.

“I see you passed me by. You must be over six feet,” she said.


Six-one and three-quarters,” Jake said.


I’m glad you are taller than I am, Jake. You look so nice.”


So, tell me what your story is. I assume you’re still with David.”


Yes, he is such a wonderful man. He couldn’t make it this year, summer school. We got married in Utah and as soon as he finishes graduate school we’re going to start a family. Let’s go for a walk so we can talk.” She took his hand and headed for a trail coursing under the Maple trees leading around the lake.


So, you didn’t wait for me. Gave up on me, huh?” Jake said.


I’m Mormon now, Jake” She smiled at him and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “We’re planning on having a baby or six and moving to a place where David can find a good job. Well, any job, truthfully. It’s been a difficult slog through school. Someplace like Chicago or Cleveland. Maybe even Des Moines.”


Why don’t you consider moving to the West Coast?” Jake said. There’s several huge cities there. Portland or Seattle to name the two largest.”


It is such a long way from my parents. I guess we could consider it. There is one little thing, though, that would keep us away from Portland. David and his mom are not very close. In a word, she is a flaming lunatic. He won’t even answer her letters their relationship is so sour. He won’t even read them. I read them to him and then he tears them to shreds.”


Well, Isn’t that something. And here I thought Mormons were tight knit family types. I’m intimately familiar with lunatics, though. I married one. It just might be caused by all that rain in Oregon. Of course, Janis wasn’t originally from Oregon so I have really no clue how she became infected.”


I think it is hereditary, David’s grandfather was not stable and ended up in an asylum. I think it might run in his family.”


You might want to be careful,” Jake said. How do you know David is not afflicted with some lunacy?”


Oh, no, not David. He is the most honest, most devout person I have ever known.”


Those trustworthy people are the potential lunatics, from what I’ve experienced. It is not immediately obvious; it begins slowly and gradually overtakes their mind. Pretty soon, you’re dealing with a Charlie Manson or Ted Bundy. Or at the very least, a two-faced sociopath who will tell you only what you want to hear. That becomes their truth. They are the obsessive-compulsive types. Didn’t you tell me David has an enormous collection of pipes? He doesn’t even smoke, does he?”


No. He collects them as art.”

“I don’t know, tearing up letters from one’s mom and collecting pipes. That just plain weird.
Just be careful, Priscilla. Don’t be so trusting; you’ll end up getting blind-sided.”


I will be careful, Jake. But, I assure you, there is nothing to worry about. He works really hard and spends most evenings studying at the library.”


Don’t you let him study at home?”


Of course, I let him. He says the atmosphere at the library is much more conducive to studying. Besides, I’d know if he was being unfaithful. I could just tell. Maybe we can talk about something else. What have you been doing with your life?”


I haven’t been too close to home since I left high school and got married,” Jake said. “The marriage was a joke. Of course, you know all about that. I think God was mean-teasing me. Maybe he still is.”


In more recent news, I have been in Montana for nearly a year now but that could change at any time. It is the fourth Big Richards store I’ve worked in since I graduated from OSU.”


It sounds like an exciting life for you,” Priscilla said.


It’s exactly like being in the military,” he said. “I was told where to go for four years by the Air Force and now Big Richards tells me where to go and when to get there. Sometimes I’d have three days’ notice to get to my new assignment, and it may even be in another state. Not too good for the social life. Probably stunting my social development, you know, relationships and stuff like that. A guy never has a chance to make any real friends. As soon as I meet someone, I get transferred and have to start all over again in a new place. They even tell you how to dress. My uniform is a shirt and tie.”


What do you mean, God is still mean-teasing you? Are you going with anybody now?”


Well, I am and I’m not,” he said. “I have a feeling it’s not going to end well.”


Why is that, Jake? You seem like such a wonderful person. I can’t imagine someone would not be attracted to you.”


There are plenty of girls who are not attracted to me. How much time have you got? That’s a joke. Sort of. But there’s plenty.”


Well, what is the matter with the girl that you are going with now?”


Nothing is wrong with Annmarie, she’s perfect. I don’t think I should say any more though. I’m not sure I want my Mormon cousin hating me.”


There is nothing in the world that would make me hate you, Jake. That’s the furthest feeling in the world I have for you.”


Here’s where the mean-teasing comes into play. Brace yourself on a stump or something ... she’s married.”


Oh Honey,” she turned and took both of his hands. “You must get out of that relationship. That’s can’t be good, for either one of you.”


I know it. It’s not as easy as you’d think,” Jake said and dropped one hand turned to continue their walk. “Now it’s even harder. I’m in love with two girls,” he said and smiled at her. “I think I know exactly how she feels.”


Don’t be silly, Jake. Is she going to leave her husband?”


No, Annmarie told me from the git-go that she is never going to do that. She made a vow and she is not going to break it. She’s Catholic. They’re even stricter than Lutherans. I’d probably be better off if she were a Mormon.”


Why do you say that, Jake?”


Oh, no, that wouldn’t work; it’s multiple wives, not multiple men, isn’t it? This religious stuff has me all confused. What is it with all you religious women? She won’t even talk about it. She says we are only to concentrate on us when we are together and not to even think that she is married. I don’t know how she squares it with the Pope. She never talks about it.”


I just don’t understand that. How can she do such a thing? What about the kids?”


She doesn’t have any kids,” Jake said. “I know there are a Brazillion things wrong with what we are doing but we can’t seem not to do it.”


You know this can’t possibly end well, don’t you?”


I haven’t a clue how it is going to end. Who knows, maybe it won’t end. Maybe we’ll be seeing each other for the next twenty-thirty years. Who knows?”


Don’t you want more than that Jake? Don’t you want kids and a family?”


It’s like she says, we just don’t talk about that stuff when we are together. We don’t talk about the future, we talk about now. And now, when I am with her, is perfect.”


I just hope things don’t turn out badly for you Jake. You are too nice a person for that.”


You might have a few people who will argue with you on that point. But, I’ll keep what you said in mind. Please keep this on the low-down. I don’t want my nosy, Lutheran relatives knowing what a horrible sinner I am. Now I have to worry about Catholics, not to mention Mormons, not just my own nutty tribe of Lutherans. Christ, there’s not a chance in Hell things will work out. Well, maybe that’s the only place it could work out, come to think of it.”


Your secret is safe with me.”

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