The Trouble Way (42 page)

Present

It was Priscilla’s kiss on his forehead that woke him. It took a few moments for Jake to get a grip on reality. The angels disappeared, Karen was gone, and there was no evidence of his Dad or Mom. No chickens roosting or chicks peeping anyplace. A ridiculous thought crossed his mind that he was off the hook with those expensive ballet lessons for the chickens. Nurses cruised past the door and smiled when they looked in. He realized he was actually in a hospital bed with a bunch of machinery connected to him with wires and tubes and not in a holding pattern for a journey to one of two places his Lutheran relatives always talked about for eternity.

“
How are you doing sweetie,” Priscilla whispered in his ear. The fog was lifting and her kind voice caused him to look up at her beautiful blue eyes.

“
Good as puddin’ Priscilla Pretty Panties,” he said, always the kidder. “What in the hell is going on, you might ask.”

“
I’ve been here every day since they brought you here. The doctor said you’ve been having hallucinations,” she said. “He said you were having bad dreams and seeing people who weren’t here.”

“
It seems like I have seen a lot of people. My Mom and Dad were here to visit, I remember that pretty clearly. My sister was here with her chickens.”

“
Well, honey, nobody is here. No chickens. Your sister did call though. I told her you were going to be okay. I’m late today because of all the snow.”

“
What snow, it was nice when we were by the river.”

“
There’s been record snowfall. We had almost two feet in the past twenty-four hours. I spent hours shoveling the drive.”

“
What am I doing here?”

“
You had a heart attack in the river,” Priscilla said. “You almost didn’t make it. You had a triple by-pass operation, Honey, but you’re going to be just fine.”

And that is when his heart started pounding and it hit him.
“I’m sorry ... I’m sorry.” Jake started crying.

“
I don’t understand,” she said. She came close and held his head next to hers. “Sorry for what?”

“
I couldn’t get --. I couldn’t reach Bella ... the river.”

“
Oh, honey, you did save her. She is okay. You caught her and held her above water and pulled her to the shore and Bella, that lady who lives in one of the homeless tents, grabbed her. You’re a hero, Honey, she is perfectly alright. The truck drivers pulled you from the river. One driver said he was sorry for knocking you in the head with the load lock but that is what they used to hook your jacket and pull you ashore.”

Then he really started blubbering. Maybe it was the relief of knowing Bella was okay. It wasn
’t like all those heroes he’d read so much about. Men aren’t supposed to be doing that. He found out that the older he got, the more emotional he could become. Sometimes he could start crying just thinking about something sad. Especially if it is something sad about a child. It didn’t used to be that way. He never cried. Now, there were times when he couldn’t stop.

“
Oh, don’t cry sweetie, I have something to show you,” and she walked over to the door and he could see her motion to someone down the hall.

He heard footsteps and there she was at the door, in her Mom
’s arms.

“
Paaapaaaaaaaaa.” Bella must have startled every patient on the entire floor. Several nurses came running but they let her be once they saw how happy she was. Her mom tried to shush her but she was having none of that. He thought that even that killer of enthusiasm, Bella’s preschool teacher, Mrs. Ashoff, couldn’t have quieted her. Bella squirmed out of her mom’s arms the way little kids can make their selves limp and impossible to hold and she escaped her mom’s grip in an instant; like a wet bar of ivory soap. She hit the floor running and made a beeline into the room, slamming into the side of the bed. “Paaapaaaaaa,” She gripped the jungle gym railings on the side of the bed and climbed onto the mattress before anybody could stop her. Jake helped her as best he could as she crawled into his arms and gave him the biggest hug ever. Several buzzers and beepers started sounding when a couple of wires became disconnected.

“
I love you more than anything in the whole wide world,” he said into her ear. He wasn’t sure if it was very clear because he couldn’t get the words out too good between the blubbering.

“
You are the best Papa in the whole wide world,” she whispered into his ear. They always whispered that to each every time they saw each other. It was their little secret, that they loved each other more than anyone in the whole wide world.

“
Papa, I have something to tell you,” Bella whispered into Jake’s ear.

He pushed her dark, curly locks away from her ear and put his lips close,
“What’s that sweetie?”

“
Papa, I want you to call me by my real name,” she whispered.

Again, pushing her soft, locks back,
“I love you,” and his voice softened to an imperceptible whisper as he said “Dava,” so only she could hear, “more than anything in the whole wide world.” He gave her ear a little kiss. She smiled and squeezed him tightly.

Present

You’d think that all the people Mama called those who were a bubble off plumb were going to cross my path would have done it by now. Not my bloody luck.

Polly Wriggle, Bella
’s mother, is one such person. She believes she has the intelligence to read messages hidden from the rest of us. Based on those non-existent messages in her fantasy world, she would take a leap from her fantasy into action. That reprehensible, horrendously selfish, egotistical action is what did the damage. I cried quite a few times over the past months when the thought comes floating into my mind -- many times in the blackness of sleep in the middle of the night. I’m still trying to recover from the effect of her actions.

She is one of the people I had pegged who, like the wobbly cafe table, had the folded napkin under her short leg. One who, not naturally level, was shimmed to correct the flaw. Apparently, the napkin worked itself out.

It’s not as though we didn’t see clues to the pending disaster. Clues taken alone would be insignificant. Accumulatively those clues would lead to the conclusion her action was not entirely out of character for a person so unbalanced.

Priscilla, Bella, and Polly were riding home with me when Polly saw a crow devouring the remains of a squirrel in the middle of the street.

“The poor thing must have fallen out of a tree,” Polly said of the squirrel.

Priscilla and I stole a glance at each other but remained silent about clumsy-ass squirrels. You know, the ones that can sprint at warp speed along a cable, thirty feet over the street, in a gale force wind, without once making a miss-step and never come close to falling off.

Right then I should have seen that the napkin was working itself loose under Polly; the bubble floated a little off center.

“
What if they missed the flight?” Polly said. “They’d have to wait seven years for another ride back to earth.” Polly was commenting on an article she had read about a mission to Mars and the difficulty of plotting return flights.

“
There isn’t one single chance they would miss their flight,” Priscilla said. “Astronauts are extremely disciplined people and it just wouldn’t happen.” 

When we left the restaurant and let Bella sit in my car -- Bella loved the smell of my car for some reason -- and Polly was gathering her stuff and getting the child seat adjusted in her car.

Priscilla looked at me. “Did you see how upset Polly was with me for suggesting that astronauts were more disciplined than normal people and there’d be no chance in hell they would miss a flight back to earth? She took it personal. She hardly said a thing to me after that.”

“
Well, Hon,” I said, “she  can’t be on time for anything so it is probably logical to her that they might miss their flight.”

“
I laughed at her logic,” Priscilla said. “I shouldn’t have laughed.”

“
Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sure she will get over it.”

“
I got a gift card from the Half Price Bookstore,” I said.

“
I thought you said you told Polly you wanted a can of Almond Roca. She even asked me what you wanted.” Priscilla was gathering up the discarded Christmas wrap after Bella and her mom had left on Christmas Eve.

“
I did. Polly asked me specifically if I liked a particular kind of candy. I said my favorite candy was Almond Roca  and Walmart sells it for $3.98. I told her I knew she didn’t have much money and I would really like Almond Roca. She said okay, Almond Roca it is. The fact is, she tried to talk me out of it. She asked me if I’d rather have a gift certificate from the Half Price Bookstore. I told her no, I buy all my books online and would much rather have the candy.” 

I know that buying me a gift card is not a sign of imbalance. But taken with the other things, it fits a pattern of someone
’s mind not seeing the obvious. She saw a fantasy in her mind that I’d rather have a gift card, regardless of what I said, rather than the candy I specifically requested.

“
I don’t want her to take swimming lessons because she doesn’t have the basic skills of swimming yet.” Polly told me when I asked if I could pay for Bella’s swim lessons.

“
They are beginning lessons. Kids don’t have to have any skills before taking lessons ... that’s what they are, beginning swimming lessons,” I said.

“
I just want her to have some basic skills, that’s all,” she said.

You
’re the mom, were my thoughts at the time. I was beginning to learn it was useless to discuss anything with Polly when she made one of her illogical statements, absurd as they often were.

“
Polly said she doesn’t see Sylvia anymore,” Priscilla said.

“
What the heck did Sylvia do to deserve that?” I asked. “Sylvia adores Bella, doesn’t she?”

“
Sylvia loves Bella. She takes care of her a lot when Polly can’t get you to watch her.”

“
What did she do, mistreat Bella?” I asked.

“
Oh heavens no, she loves Bella. You’re not going to believe this, she got a boob job,” Priscilla said.

“
Oh for Christ sake. Didn’t Polly have a wart removed from her nose a while back? That makes a lot of sense, she abandoned a longtime friend, one who adored Bella, never to speak to her again, for getting a boob job.”

“
Polly says it isn’t even close the same thing. Warts are not boobs.”

Polly
’s latest move was to a nicer apartment. She had been promised a raise and decided to move before she actually had them money in hand.

“
They promised it to me so I found a place and am moving next week,” Polly said.

“
Don’t you think it would be wise to actually get the money before you commit yourself to a year-long lease? What if it turns out you don’t get the raise?” I asked Polly.

“
That’s just not going to happen,” Polly said.

Well, it did happen. She was embarrassed to say, but when she finally did, she only got
a small portion of the raise she thought she was getting which put her in dire financial straits. She had to borrow money for her second month’s rent.

“
I am moving this weekend and am painting the bedrooms before I move.” Polly told Priscilla.

“
If you need drop cloths, I have plenty,” Priscilla said.

“
Wouldn’t it be smart to move all your stuff, you don’t have much time. Are you packed?” Priscilla asked.

“
No, but I’ll do that tonight,” Polly said.

I had moved over twenty times with Big Richards so I had some practical experience and some good advice to give Polly. Pack everything in boxes and tape the boxes closed. Leave nothing hanging out; it helps in stacking boxes for the move. Do you think Polly took the advice? When we got to the old apartment, Polly had very little packed. None of the boxes she had packed were taped closed ... crap overflowed from every one of them. She didn
’t even have near enough boxes for the move.

When we walked into the new apartment there was paint all over the new carpet.

“I spilled the bucket of paint. The drop cloths didn’t work very well, they leaked,” Polly said. “When I came in this morning, there was paint all over the carpet.”

“
Of course they leaked. They are cotton sheets, they are for paint spatters, they won’t contain a bucket of paint,” Priscilla said. “Especially if you leave the spilled paint over night, that’s just common sense.”

“
You said they were drop cloths,” Polly said and when she saw Priscilla’s smile, the furrow between her eyebrows that she hated so much appeared deeper than ever.

“
Do you think Bella can come over for a little while today?” I asked Polly.

“
No, we have other plans,” Polly said.

Do you think I could see her on another day this week?
”

“
You just saw her a little while ago,” Polly said.

“
Jeeze, that was over a week and a half ago.” I said, “That’s a really long time not to see her.”

After seeing Bella three or four times a week and then not for a week and a half, it seemed forever to me.

“Well, I’m the mom, and I don’t think a week and a half is all that long,” she said.

It was as if Polly had lost airspeed on one wing of the plane she was piloting and it had stalled and was headed into a shallow, downward spiral, taking us along for the ride.

To me, the worst thing that could have happened to me was when Bella fell in the river. Not even close. It was on Bella’s first day of kindergarten I showed up unexpectedly that the evil happened. I waited with Bella for Polly to pick her up. It was going to be my responsibility to pick Bella up after school each day and take her home and feed her till Polly got off work.

We had all, Me, Priscilla, Bella, and Polly, been at school the day before and had gone over the procedures for the pick-up and I wasn
’t going to be there on the first day because Polly was going to pick Bella up. Ten minutes before pick-up time, I changed my mind and wanted to be sure I had the procedure nailed and showed up at school and watched as Bella filed out with the other kindergarteners and waited for the teacher’s instructions. Bella saw me standing there and smiled but remained in line with the other kids until the teacher gave the okay. Bella said she saw her Papa and the teacher okayed her to stand by me.

“
Papa, I saw a little boy that looks just like you when you were little,” Bella said. She had seen a video I’d produced for my fifty-year class reunion that had old photos. One was of me when I was in the first grade.

“
Did you find out what his name is?” I asked.

“
No, but he looks just like you.”

We waited for about ten minutes for Polly and saw her in the long line of cars
queuing for student pick-up. Like all the other times Polly was scheduled to do something at a particular time, she was late.

From fifty feet away, I could see Polly
’s countenance and it did not bode well for me. She looked pissed beyond reason. The napkin had vanished.

“
Why didn’t you call?”

“
I knew I’d see you in ten minutes or so and would talk to you then. I realized I didn’t want to miss Bella’s first day of kindergarten. I was going to invite you two to Red Robin for dinner. Is there a problem?” I asked her.

“
It is unnerving,” Polly said. She hustled Bella into her car seat.

“
Mommy, why are you talking bad to my Papa?” Bella asked.

There was only cold silence from Mommy, she couldn
’t explain to Bella why she was unnerved. She bustled Bella into the car seat, buckled her in, and drove off with pure lunacy in her eyes.

That night, I opened an email from Polly, who had begun signing her letters as Polly Leah. She had recently requested people call her that; she said it made her feel more spiritual, whatever the hell that means. Leah is not her middle name. Fantasy.

“Do not to pick Bella up at school. I made other arrangements. Do not call, email, text, or communicate in any way until I contact you or Priscilla, respectfully, Polly Leah.” She had taken the leap from fantasy to action.

I had been taking care of Bella since she was zero for sometimes three or four times a week for five years. Sometimes Polly would drop her by at 6 a.m. to accommodate her school or work schedule. And I show up ten minutes before Polly came to pick her up and she is
“unnerved.” She is much more than unnerved, she is mental. I can think of a few other “un” words, like hinged, balanced, and stable. That situation did not come anywhere near qualifying as an “unnerving” situation.

Polly could have left out the
“until,” because it has been fifty-one days and there has been nothing but a frigid silence. I thought she was kidding. She was not. She didn’t even show up when I invited them to Priscilla’s grandson’s first birthday. Polly’s reaction to the invitation was to call the police and report that we had been harassing her.

Bella
’s most favorite things in the whole wide world are birthday parties. After five years of nearly constant contact with my little Bella who considers herself my Granddaughter, she is not allowed contact. The trauma Bella must feel.

When we met friends, or even strangers, Bella insisted I introduce her as my Granddaughter. After one fantasy moment, I am forbidden from seeing my
“granddaughter,” a little sweetie who adores me ... un-fucking-believable.