The Trouble With Valentine's Day (22 page)

Before she lost all reason and gave up caring along with everything else, Kate said, “I don't have a condom. Do you?”

He lifted his head and looked at her. “Shit.” Then he said a few more swear words she didn't quite catch. “Wait. This is a store. Where's the damn condom aisle?”

“Five.”

He grabbed her waist and set her on her feet on the floor. Then he took her hand in his and pulled her along behind him. Several boxes of condoms hit the floor and suddenly everything turned hotter, more intense. A blur. A rush. A throbbing urgency. She tore at his clothes, and he pushed her pants and panties down her legs. She stepped out of them and reached for him. In the dark aisle, he was naked, and she took his penis in her hand, huge and hot, his pulse pounding against her palm.

He groaned long, as if he were in pain, and then he sank to the floor, taking her with him. He kissed her and touched her and somehow she ended up on her hands and knees. He knelt behind her and slid his hand across her bare behind and between her legs. He parted her and touched her. She bit her lip to keep from moaning and rested her forehead on her forearm. “You're wet.” The hot head of his penis replaced his fingers, touching her where she craved it most.

“Kate,” he said over the tearing of the condom wrapper and snap of latex. “I want you more than I want anything.” Then he shoved into her, huge and thick. A dark, primal groan was ripped from his chest as he pushed deeper, the head of his penis pressed against her cervix, stretching and filling her.

She'd known he was big, and she cried out. He wrapped his right arm around her waist. “I'm sorry, Kate.” His body covered hers and he supported himself on his left elbow and forearm. He spoke close to her ear, his breathing fast and hot through her hair. “I would never hurt you. Never.” His grasp tightened and his arm trembled. “Do you want me to stop?”

A moan slipped past her lips. A moan that would have embarrassed her in the light of day. She pressed her behind against his groin. “No,” she answered in a voice that sounded desperate even to her own ears. “Make love to me, Rob,” she said into the darkness, where nothing mattered and nothing was quite real. “Please, don't stop.”

She felt his hot mouth on her shoulder and the sharp edges of his teeth. He pulled out and plunged even deeper. “You're good, Kate. So good.” He started slow, pumping his hips in a smooth rhythm. “More?”

“Yes.”

And he gave her more, hitting just the right place deep inside her.

“Kate,” he whispered into her ear. “I'm going to fuck you hard now.”

“Yes.”

He raised, and his hands gripped her waist. If he hadn't been holding on to her, the first deep plunge would have knocked her flat. He drove into her faster harder deeper. Stroking her g-spot with the thick head of his penis and hard shaft. Over and over until she felt the first hard tug of orgasm. It started deep inside and radiated outward. She cried out again, this time at the intense pleasure that swept across her flesh, from the soles of her bare feet to the top of her head. Her ears rang and her body shook as her vaginal walls convulsed around him. She heard his deep groan, followed by a string of curse words she couldn't hear clearly. Something about Mary and Jesus and holy shit.

Then it was over and all that was left was the sound of harsh breathing and the realization that she was naked with her behind in the air.

Fourteen

The mountain was out when Rob's flight
landed at SEA-TAC. He rented a Lexus and called Louisa on his cell to let her know he was on his way to pick up Amelia. He tuned in a radio station and headed for Interstate 5.

He slid his Maui Jims on the bridge of his nose and adjusted the sun visor. The polarized lenses cut the glare of the morning sun, and Rob merged onto the interstate, only to get stuck in stop-and-go traffic headed into Seattle. He hadn't slept a whole lot the night before, and he'd downed a boatload of coffee on the flight. His brain was fuzzy, but he could recall with absolute clarity how the light in the grocery store had cut across Kate's naked breasts. Her breasts were firm and white with small pink nipples balanced perfectly in the center, like tight raspberries. He remembered how hard they'd been against his palms and tongue, and they'd tasted so good covered in whipped cream that he'd gone back for a second helping.

He recalled every detail of the night before. The touch of her soft skin beneath his hands and his struggle for control. He'd wanted to go slow, draw out the pleasure, while at the same time, he'd fought a battle within himself to just throw her down and get on with it.

In the end, he'd lost the fight. He'd grabbed her up, pushed her to the floor, and gone for it. He'd come so hard that he'd thought he was going to black out, but even as he'd felt every ripple and pulse of her orgasm, he'd known she deserved more from him. More than a quick one on the floor.

Rob flipped on his blinker and eased the Lexus in between a delivery van and a silver Camry. Pushing Kate to the floor hadn't been one of his better moves, but it might have been forgivable if he hadn't followed it by a bigger mistake. One that had kept him up last night feeding himself his own lunch. One that he wished he didn't recall with the same clarity with which he recalled everything else about the previous evening.

Without saying much more than a mumbled “I'll be right back,” he'd gathered up his clothes and made his way to the bathroom. He'd dressed, and as he'd stood in front of the toilet, watching the condom swirl around and get sucked down the bowl, he'd freaked. Not because of the usual past issues, like what lie he was going to tell or how to get out of the room without a scene. No, he'd freaked because there had been a point in the evening when he hadn't given a damn about anything but getting Kate naked. It wasn't that he'd forgotten his past mistakes or the trouble it had caused. It was more that Kate made him not care. While he'd been with her, eating whipped cream from her breasts and thrusting deep inside where she was slick and tight around his cock, he hadn't given a damn. He'd wanted Kate, and nothing else had mattered. But after the fever had passed, his disregard for the consequences had freaked him out and he'd run like hell. But not before he'd kissed her on the forehead and committed the most spectacular fuck-up of the night.

He'd looked into her brown eyes and told her “thanks” like she'd just passed him the salt. Then he'd bolted out the back door.

Rob glanced at his watch and turned off the freeway at the Denny exit. It was ten o'clock in Gospel. If he called the M&S, he could catch Kate and try to explain or apologize or something. He reached for the cell phone hooked to his belt but returned his hand to the wheel. He'd deal with that problem when he got home—in person. Hell, maybe he hadn't even messed up. Maybe she wasn't all that upset. Maybe he'd imagined the look on her face when he'd told her thanks and kissed her head.

Right now, he had another problem to face. One that was very real.

He found a parking spot a few blocks from Louisa's condo, and by the time he knocked on her door, he'd pushed Kate to the back of his head. A problem he would deal with later.

Louisa's blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was dressed as if she were about to go out for a jog in tight black spandex. She was fit and toned and could probably crack a walnut on her ass. She hugged him and kissed his jaw, and he felt nothing. No stirring interest in the pit of his stomach. No desire to turn his face and kiss her lips. No pinch in his chest or tug at his heart. Nothing.

He found Amelia sitting in her highchair in the kitchen eating dry Cheerios on her tray. She held up her arms for him and said through a bright smile, “Daddy's here.”

At the sight of his child his heart lifted in his chest. “Hey, baby girl.” He nibbled a Cheerio stuck on her finger, and then he nibbled her neck. She laughed and shrieked and pulled his hair. “Ready to go?”

“What are you two doing today?” Louisa asked from the doorway.

“I'm not sure.” He took Amelia from the chair. “Maybe we'll go see if the guys are in town,” he said, referring to his old Chinook teammates. “Maybe we'll go skate, or if the sun stays out, get a kite and go to the park.”

“I thought we could all go to the zoo tomorrow. She really likes the pygmy marmosets.”

Rob looked over the top of Amelia's dark head at his former wife. He didn't love her and knew he would never love her again. He would have to tell her, but not now. Not while he held his daughter in his arms. “Sounds good.”

Louisa smiled. “I'll pick you and Amelia up around noon tomorrow then.”

Before he left town he knew she'd want to talk about getting back together, and he wasn't looking forward to the conversation. Maybe he'd invite her over to his loft in a few days, after he figured out exactly what he wanted to say. While Amelia napped, he'd make her see that a reconciliation wouldn't work. He'd figure out some way of telling her that he didn't love her without making her angry or hurting her feelings. Hell, he wasn't convinced she still loved him. More than likely, she was just falling back into the same old pattern of their past.

The next day Louisa showed up at the loft right on time. The weather held as they walked about the Woodland zoo, looking at water buffalo and tomato frogs. When Amelia fell asleep in her stroller at the coastal desert exhibit, she brought up the subject of getting back together. “Have you given any more thought to what we talked about on the phone the other night?”

He really didn't want to talk about it in public.

“I don't think this is the place to talk about it.”

“I do.” She looked up at him and shoved her hair behind her ears, revealing the three carat diamond earrings he'd given her the day she'd given birth to Amelia. “The answer is easy, Rob. Either you've thought about it or you haven't. Either you want to be a family with me and Amelia or you don't.”

It was so typical of Louisa to push until she irritated him. Leaving him no choice, he said, “Yeah, I've thought about it. Amelia is the most important thing in my life. I love her and I would do anything for her.” He could tell Louisa a kind lie, but the problem was, he didn't know any kind lies. “The thing is, I don't love you the way a man should love a woman he is thinking about living with. If we got back together, it would end as badly as it did last time.”

Her brows drew together and he saw the hurt in her eyes before she turned to look at the penguins diving off rocks into the water. She started to cry, and he felt like an asshole. People walking by looked at him like he was an asshole, too, but he hadn't known what else to say. And now she was crying right in front of him and everyone else in the coastal desert exhibit. “I'm sorry.”

“I guess I'd rather you told me the truth.” She brushed her fingertips beneath her eyes, and her shoulders shook. Rob didn't know if he should hold her or stand back. He never knew what to do with a crying woman. Guilt churned in his stomach, and he tightened his grasp on the stroller's handle.

“Could you get me a tissue?” she asked between sobs.

“Where are they?”

She waved a hand toward the stroller. “Baby bag.”

Rob squatted down and rummaged through the huge pink bag in the bottom of the stroller. He found a box of Kleenex and handed Louisa a few.

“Thank you.” She wiped her eyes and her nose, but she kept her head down and wouldn't look at him. “Are you in love with someone else?”

Rob thought of Kate. He thought of her laughter and soft red hair. Of the way she made him feel, like he wanted to grab her and roll around with her. “No, I'm not in love with anyone else.” It was the truth. He wasn't in love with Kate, but he liked a lot of things about her.

Somehow they got through the rest of the zoo with only a few more breakdowns. One in the tropical rainforest building, the other by the kangaroos. Louisa didn't mention a reconciliation again until he dropped Amelia off on his way to the airport for his return flight to Idaho.

“Since neither of us are in love with anyone else,” she said, “maybe we can be friends. We'll start there and see where it goes.” She stuck out her hand. “Friends?”

He took Louisa's hand as Amelia started to cry and cling to his neck. “Don't go, Daddy,” she wailed.

“We can be friends, Lou. That'd be great,” he said over Amelia's crying. He didn't add that he wasn't interested in seeing where it went. Right now, one crying female was enough, and he didn't think he could handle another scene like the one at the zoo. He kissed his daughter's cheek and pried her arms from his neck. He handed her over to Louisa, and she gave a bloodcurdling scream as if he'd just cut off her little arm or something.

“Go, Rob,” Louisa said above the racket. “She's tired. She'll be fine.”

With his heart throbbing painfully in his chest, he walked from the condo, hearing Amelia's pitiful wailing halfway to the elevator.

“Christ,” he muttered and swallowed hard. He was Rob Sutter. For over a decade, he'd been one of the most feared players in the NFL. He'd been shot and lived to talk about it. He took a deep breath and punched a button for the elevator. If he didn't get a grip, he was going to start crying like a little girl.

Barely an hour after Rob returned home from Seattle, he hooked up the elementary school float and pulled it behind his HUMMER in the Easter parade. He looked for Kate as he passed the M&S, and he saw her standing with a cowboy from the Rocking T ranch. His name was Buddy something. Through the HUMMER windows, her gaze met his. Then her eyes got the squinty look he recognized, and she turned away. No smile. No wave. He got his answer. Yep, she was mad as hell.

After the parade, he went to Sutter Sports and tried to catch up on his work. He had over a thousand e-mails to read or delete. Of those thousand, about thirty were business related, and he had to respond. Forty boxes of inventory had arrived while he'd been away and needed to be processed. By eight that night, he'd gotten through half of what he needed to get done.