The Troublesome Angel (14 page)

Not nearly soon enough for her, Stacy thought. She could hear the steady beating of Gray’s heart, sense the runaway hammering of her own in response. Yet, allowing him to watch over her, even for a short while, gave her an unexplainable feeling of peace. On the other hand, she also had the urge to jump up and escape his clutches, no matter how illogical the idea was under the present circumstances.

Disgusted, she made a face. There was nothing to worry about. She’d have plenty of opportunities to distance herself from Graydon Payne once they returned to civilization.
Sure she would.
She could join the foreign legion. Or become a missionary and volunteer to go to Africa. That should be far enough away to keep him out of her hair.

Well, almost.

She yawned, snuggled closer and rested her palm on his chest. Exhaustion overcame her. It felt so good, so safe, to be cuddling in his warm, strong embrace while the horrible storm raged outside. It couldn’t hurt to relax and enjoy the experience a
little, as long as Gray didn’t know how much she liked being in his arms.

Closing her eyes, Stacy let her imagination carry her. In her musings, Gray was holding her because he loved her the same way she loved him. His family was transformed into one as loving and kind as hers had been. And Mark and Candace became the perfect parents for Missy, loving her the way Stacy had once prayed to be loved when she was young and alone, too.

It was a perfect world. A perfect dream. Cherishing those perceptions, holding on to them as long as she could, she slipped into peaceful slumber.

Gray felt her relaxing. He tightened his embrace. As soon as he was sure she was asleep, he placed a tender kiss on the top of her head and murmured, “We have to quit meeting like this. It’s too hard on me.”

Not that any other time they’d been together was any easier. Treating Stacy to the casual cookout hadn’t broken down the unseen barriers between them nearly as well as he’d hoped. He’d been sure it would help her see that they could breach the colossal chasm between their respective lives if they wanted to badly enough.

Pensive, he sighed. Maybe he’d been expecting too much. After all, it wasn’t just the past that separated them. The present did, too. He knew Stacy wanted no more to do with the kind of life he lived
than she did with his family. Which was another big problem. They might be hard to take—they
were
hard to take. Nevertheless, they were still his family. Nathan wasn’t an openly loving man but he’d married Estelle when he knew she was already expecting. That had to count for something. Even if the man hadn’t been able to love his first son the way he’d loved Mark, he’d at least provided for them equally.

Gray closed his eyes. Thank God for James’s friendship and spiritual influence. Without that, Nathan’s emotional rejection might have soured him on everything and permanently ruined his life.

“Thank you, Jesus,” he whispered. “For bringing me through.”

Stacy took a deep breath and released it as a sigh. The hand resting on Gray’s chest moved in a slight caress.

He held motionless. Listening to her slow, even breathing he decided she was still asleep. Which meant she didn’t know what she was doing.

Snorting in self-derision he realized that he didn’t know what he was doing, either. Or why he was doing it. And he was wide-awake!

“Please, Father,” Gray prayed fervently.

“Guide me so nobody gets hurt. Especially not Stacy.”

He began to slowly rock back and forth, cradling her gently, lovingly, and adding a heartful of wordless pleas to his spoken request.

It was almost dawn before he dozed.

M
issy stirred when her canine pillow got up, stretched with a yawn and sauntered outside to bask in the early morning sun that had begun to filter through the trees.

The child’s whimper startled Gray awake. He blinked rapidly, momentarily disoriented. To his surprise, he found himself slouched into an uncomfortable heap on a hard, rock floor, a backpack for a pillow. He was still holding Stacy Lucas. Even more disconcerting was the fact that she was hugging him, too!

He took mental inventory. It had been so long since he’d moved, his left arm was numb. The right one wasn’t in much better shape. The rest of him was so sore from the prolonged contact with the unforgiving ground he wondered if he’d be able to stand, let alone extricate himself from Stacy’s embrace.

He knew it would be easier on them both if he could get up and move away before she regained her senses. Stacy’s arm lay across his chest so he lifted it slowly, gently, trying to ease out from under without disturbing her.

Instead of letting go, she tightened her grasp and snuggled against him with a sweetly murmured, “Umm.”

Gray squirmed. Fidgeted. Tried to inch away. Stacy was going to be angry, and probably pretty embarrassed, if she awoke and found they’d wound up reclining against her pack. Together.

He felt her hold slacken. She stirred. He tensed. It was too late to escape. In spite of all his efforts to remain alert, for her sake, he’d dozed off sometime during the night. He was about to pay the penalty for doing so.

Stacy’s eyes popped open. There was a white T-shirt beneath her cheek. A shirt that contained a warm, masculine chest; one she’d just been snuggling against! Scrambling away on all fours, she stared back at him.

Gray raised on one elbow and winced in pain. “Boy, I’m glad you finally moved. I think my arm died hours ago.”

“What were you
doing?
”

“Keeping you warm,” he said with a hopeful expression. “Or you were keeping me warm. I forget which.”

Memories of the night and the storm tumbled through Stacy’s sleep-dulled mind, then began to
sort themselves out. She clambered to her feet and dusted herself off. “You’re right. I—I’m sorry. When I woke up like that, I assumed the worst.”

A lopsided grin lifted one corner of his mouth. Dark eyebrows arched. “Well…I didn’t think it was
that
bad.”

Stacy responded without stopping to consider that he was probably provoking her on purpose. “Well,
I
did! I hope you know I don’t go around sleeping with strange men.” Hands on her hips, she dared him to contradict her. Embarrassment colored her cheeks.

Slowly shaking his head, Gray stood. “I never thought of myself quite that way. A little different. Maybe even eccentric. But never strange.” He stretched, yawned. “I’ll have to have my public relations people check on that when I get back to the office.”

He started for the door of the cave. “Give me five minutes, then I’ll gather up our stuff and get ready to go while you take care of Missy.”

Dumbfounded, Stacy watched him disappear into the forest. A public relations department? Did he really have one? Probably. She knew so little about his business that almost anything was possible. In spite of all they’d been through together, all they’d talked about, he’d never shared that part of his life.

She shrugged. Did it really matter? Yes, it did. If Gray had been getting serious about her, the way she’d hoped, he’d have wanted to tell her about his
work, to share the other important elements in his life, whatever they were. In truth, Missy’s continuing disobedience was the only reason they were together. If Stacy hoped to hang on to even a tiny piece of her heart, she’d better put a stop to it. Soon.

Before she could change her mind, she crossed to where the girl sat, whining, and dropped to her knees next to her, determined to be firm. “Okay. Listen to me, Missy, because this is the only time I’m going to say this and I wouldn’t want you to get yourself into more trouble because you didn’t pay attention.”

“Where’s Lewis?” Small, dirty fists rubbed the sleep from little eyes.

“Outside. So’s your uncle,” Stacy said. “You and I will go out in a minute. First, I want to tell you something very important.”

The child pouted and refused to look up. Stacy lifted her chin so she’d be forced to meet her gaze. “Listen to me. Lewis and I
will not
come looking for you again. Ever. Do you understand? I don’t care how many more times you run away or where you go, we won’t come.”

Missy’s lower lip trembled. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not fair. At first, I thought you were causing trouble because you were unhappy living with Mark and Candace. I felt sorry for you. But that’s not so anymore. You run away or hide just to make Lewis come and find you. Well, that
trick is
not
going to work again, so you might as well knock it off.”

The little girl’s expression of pure misery tore at Stacy’s heart, yet she didn’t dare soften her approach. Not if she expected Missy to stop running away. Every time the child disappeared there was an increased chance she’d fall victim to a
real
tragedy. Stacy couldn’t allow that to happen. She loved her too much.

There was also the matter of her personal predicament. Stacy loved Gray, too. She’d fallen for him against all odds and now she was going to have to make a clean break. Missy’s obedience was the key to doing that successfully.

Unrequited love had already driven Stacy to the point where she’d actually toyed with the idea of giving up the job she knew the Lord had blessed her with. A career-wrecking attitude like that was so unacceptable it scared her.

Missy had begun to cry. “Please, Stacy, don’t be mean to me. I love Lewis.”

Deeply moved, Stacy reached for Missy’s hand. Deciding what she ought to do had been easy compared to doing it. She knew she should tell the little girl she didn’t care about her. That she didn’t ever want to see her again. She simply couldn’t speak those hurtful words.

The small hand gripped hers with complete trust. When Missy said, “I love you, too, Stacy,” there was no going back. Moisture filled Stacy’s eyes. Her heart overflowed with compassion. She took
Missy in her arms. This child’s innocent love was not going to be rejected the way hers had been so many times.

“I love you, too, Missy,” she said as tears slid silently down her cheeks. “Very much. That’s why I want you to promise me you won’t ever, ever run away again.” She sniffled, holding the six-year-old away so their eyes could meet. “Promise?”

Missy nodded solemnly. “Don’t cry, Stacy. I promise.”

Pulling her close again, Stacy kissed the grimy little tear-streaked cheek without hesitation. “Good. I believe you mean that. I’m going to trust you to keep your word.”

“Will I get to see Lewis and the puppies? I asked Jesus if I could, too. Was that okay?”

Closing her eyes and drawing a deep, settling breath, Stacy surrendered. She knew what the Lord wanted her to say. What was more important, her own peace of mind or the love and trust of an innocent child? She couldn’t put herself first when Missy’s future might depend on finding someone—or something—to love and accept her unconditionally.

“It was fine, Missy,” she said softly. “I love Jesus, too, and I know he’d want us to stay friends, no matter what happens. I’ll bring one of the puppies to visit you as soon as it’s old enough to leave its mommy. Okay?”

“Okay!” Missy grinned through her tears. “Lewis, too?”

“Lewis, too.” Stacy didn’t know how she was going to manage such a challenging feat with all the opposition awaiting her at both Payne houses, but she’d think of something, even if it meant confronting everybody. The trick would be choosing a time to visit when Gray was elsewhere.

Emotionally overburdened, yet calm in the assurance she’d made the right decision, Stacy led the way out of the cave. Shading her eyes from the bright, rising sun she spotted Gray coming toward them. Her heart clenched.

He seemed weary until he looked up and saw her. Then the usual vigor returned to his steps. Stacy stood very still, watching him approach and taking in every detail of the poignant sight so she could store it away as a treasured memory. By the time he reached her, she was so moved she could hardly speak.

“Your turn,” Gray said with a smile. He ducked into the cave as she and the little girl walked away, hand in hand.

His easy, unassuming manner, in view of her recent decision to stop seeing him, gave Stacy the strongest pang of loss she’d ever felt. And she’d felt plenty of others.

Where love was concerned, she was a regular pro at losing.

Stacy would have brooded if she hadn’t had more pressing problems to occupy her mind. The winds that had brought the end of the storm had
also toppled trees. The ravines they’d used as trails on their way out of camp were now filled with fast-flowing water. And the carpet of dead leaves on the forest floor was a slippery mess, making it much more dangerous, especially on a slope.

Beyond the natural obstacles there was an additional complication. For the first time since she’d gotten lost at fourteen, Stacy wasn’t sure which way was home. Normally, she’d have simply radioed for assistance when she’d discovered her cell phone battery was dead, but they’d left the church camp in such a hurry she hadn’t thought to assign her spare, short-range radio to anyone.

Slipping as she started up a soggy incline, she scrambled to right herself and paused to look back at her companions. Lewis had taken a place at the rear of the group. He plodded along, tail down instead of wagging. Missy was having trouble walking at all, let alone making decent progress. Gray had offered to carry her but she’d stubbornly declined.

“Stay down there,” Stacy called. “All of you. I’m going to climb this ridge and see what I can see.”

Gray shaded his eyes to peer up at her. “I knew we were wandering. You’re lost, aren’t you?”

“No.” Her conscience intervened. “Well, not exactly. I’m just a little turned around, that’s all. I’ll get my bearings soon. It was the detours around all the fallen trees that confused me.”

“There were only three of them,” he countered.
“James is probably so worried he’s called in the Marines by how.” Frustration with the entire situation drove him to add, “What do you do in a
real
disaster?”

As far as Stacy was concerned, this
was
a real disaster. She was marooned in the forest with a grumpy man, a helpless child, and a weary old dog. Which meant she was everybody’s best chance for survival. Except that she happened to be lost at the moment, a condition she was about to remedy.

Gray watched her climb. Every time her foot slipped or her balance wavered on the steep, rocky hillside, his breath caught and his irrational anger at himself built. He never should have let her go up there alone.

That ridiculous thought made him snort in self-derision. There was no way he could have stopped an obstinate woman like Stacy Lucas from doing anything, short of hog-tying her. And even then she’d probably have figured out a way to escape. She’d made a career of being a loner. Nothing he said or did was going to change that. He just wished he didn’t care so much.

Breathless, Stacy reached the top of the ridge. From there she could see the aircraft warning beacon on the bell tower at the church camp. It was due south. All she had to do was figure out how to get them all there and her troubles would be over. Well, almost, she added, thinking of her promise to Missy and its ties to the Payne family.

“The cares of the day are sufficient,” she quoted, knowing it was part of a scripture that dealt with not worrying ahead of time.

An ironic thought occurred to her. Here she was, lost and looking like a fool to the one person whose opinion mattered to her, and once again she’d failed to ask for divine help.

“Oh, Father,” Stacy began. “I’ll never learn, will I? I go around dealing with life on my own and mess it up over and over again, when you’re right here, anytime I need you. What’s wrong with me? Am I dense or something?” Deciding she was, she added, “Please, help me with that, too.”

She was still talking to God and planning ahead as she started down the slope to lead her little party home. They’d have to circle the base of the hills and cut across a couple of low-lying fields. Happily, the trek wouldn’t be as arduous as she’d feared. If all went well, in an hour or so they’d be close enough to the camp that they might even be spotted by the staff. After that, she’d just—

Stacy’s heel hit an exceptionally slimy patch of moss clinging to a flat, rock ledge.

“Oh, nooo!” Her arms flailed. Both feet shot out from under her. Airborne, she had nothing to cling to, no way to stop her fall, so she drew in her limbs, protected her head and neck as best she could, and rolled with it.

Gray raced toward the base of the hill. If anything had happened to Stacy he’d—

Lewis shot past him in a blur, almost knocking him down.
Stupid dog!
He was liable to make things worse—if that was possible.

Stacy came to rest with a groan. Dizzy and groggy, she lay still for a few moments, taking inventory of her condition, then slowly sat up. Other than being covered with mud, leaves, and who-knows-what-else, she felt pretty good, considering.

Lewis was beside her, whining. “It’s okay, boy. Don’t worry. I’m fine.” She wiped her hands on her hopelessly soiled jeans before reaching out to pet him. The look in his brown eyes told her there was something wrong.

Gray slid to a halt at her feet. “You okay?”

“I think so. But Lewis—”

“You slammed into him when you hit the bottom,” Gray said. “I didn’t like the way he fell. It looked awkward.”

“Oh, no.” Ignoring her own bumps and bruises, Stacy rolled to her knees and began to go over the dog gently, inch by inch. When she got to his right foreleg, he cried out and tried to rise.

She held him down. “No, Lewis. Stay. Stay. That’s a good boy.” Taking great care, she talked softly as she probed the sore leg, mostly to let the dog hear her calm voice. “It’s probably broken. I can’t be sure because it’s not a compound fracture. The problem is, I can’t let him walk anymore. If his leg is broken, putting weight on it can make it worse, even if I splint it first.”