Authors: Katrina Alba
“How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough.” He is still chuckling.
When the door is almost fully open, I can see Whitney standing on the opposite end of the threshold with a hand on her hip, tapping her foot.
“Sorry.” I give her a palms-up shrug.
“What was that?”
“I couldn’t open the door.”
“Man, I miss all the good stuff. Do you have security cameras in this place so we can watch that scene again?” Whitney asks Grant.
“Nope, never believed in that stuff. I don’t like the idea of living on camera.”
“Damn.”
“It’s nice to see you, Whitney.” He walks over and kisses her cheek. I think his action melds her to her spot on the floor. “I’ll let you ladies catch up.” She doesn’t respond. She just barely nods with a goofy grin on her face. I roll my eyes as if to say, I know, girl. I know
.
When he’s out of the room, she finally snaps out of it. Throwing her arms around me, she squeals in my ear. “You crazy, lucky wench! How could you go and get married without me there? Oh, my God, you married the hottest and richest man we’ll ever meet. Holy crap. Little Alyssa Silver is all
growed
up and she’s filthy stinkin’ rich!”
“We didn’t plan to get married in Vegas. At least it wasn’t my intention. Although, I’m not certain about Grant. We went from I love you to I do. It all just happened so fast, but I’m—happy.” I can’t help but smile as I tell her. I am happy. “I don’t care about the money. I offered to sign a prenup or a post-nup or whatever it would be at this point. He refused it and his mom seemed to not care. I don’t know—it’s all so strange. I never thought I’d marry someone with a boat load of money. Hell, I never thought much about getting married at all.”
Whitney is hanging on every word all googly eyed until I can see a thought physically cross through her mind. “Ring! Let me see the rock!”
She’s like a child. I hold out my arm to amuse her and she gasps as she snatches my hand. I just about trip as she tugs me forward. “Let me see this under the light. Does this thing produce its own light? It’s huge! Oh, my God, I’m so jealous. It’s absolutely gorgeous and it’s so unique!”
“I know. It’s pretty spectacular. I don’t know if it’s me, though? It seems so extravagant, right?”
Whitney looks up at me still holding my hand up to the light streaming in through the giant windows she pulled us over to get a better look. “Lys?”
“Mhmm?”
“Honey—this is you now. Get used to it.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. It all seems too good to be true.”
For more than
four years, I have worked at the same practice. I have the highest patient count in the office. I’m booked solid for weeks, months even. It’s a great feeling to be successful in your career, but it can take a toll on your social life. I miss some of my husband’s work events and family gatherings here and there even. I realize my career is demanding, and I’ve tried my best over the years to be as present for my husband and friends as I can.
It would be easier to pull myself away from my career if it weren’t so rewarding. My pager goes off in the middle of the night and I don’t grimace, I smile. My lips reach from ear to ear because I know soon I’ll be holding a tiny miracle in my arms and handing it to an overjoyed mother. My job comforts me. It heals my soul after growing up in a less than nurturing environment.
I’ve found lately my job doesn’t make me feel as cheerful as it used to, though. I want the mother holding a child in her arms to be me. Grant and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now. It’s hard with our schedules, and if I’m completely honest, trying to have a baby isn’t as fun as I thought it would be. It’s a lot of pressure on both of us. The first few months when it didn’t happen, it was upsetting. The next couple of months when it still didn’t happen were torturous. Finally, I just stopped thinking it would happen. Unfortunately, it’s also when we stopped really trying.
When you want something so bad and it just isn’t working, and for no explained reason, it’s frustrating. I felt like a giant balloon and each month, someone would come by and untie the end to let a little bit of air out—until finally, I just feel completely deflated. Being a gynecologist, I know it can take time. I know stressing about it will make it less likely to conceive a baby, so Grant and I have decided to just relax and let it happen when it happens.
In an attempt to accomplish this, we took a trip with Whitney and the gang to Vegas.
* * *
“Grant it will
be fun. We could use the time away together. We can book the room we stayed in when we got married and—”
“Fine. We can go. I may have to do some work while I’m there, though.”
“Grant,” I whine and feel annoyed at my own voice. “I’m leaving my job at home. I’m making an effort. Please, let’s just go and have fun, no work. Invite Sara and Colin? Whitney is bringing Ralph, and Liam and Keith are bringing their latest flings. It should be a good time. It’s just a weekend. No work.”
“I’m not making any promises, but I will try.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” I feel victorious so I kiss his forehead before I leave to go tell Whit we’re in.
When we arrive, I can’t believe our suite, the one we stayed in when we got married, is still exactly the same. When I walk into the bedroom, I further can’t believe they have it set up exactly as it was the night we got married, including rose petals and tea lights. I turn to go tell Grant, but he’s standing in the doorway grinning when I turn around.
“Did you do this?” I can’t hide the excitement in my voice.
“Maybe.”
I walk over to him with a little extra sway in my hips. “I love this room,” I say putting my pointer finger on his sternum. “And I sort of love you, too.” I run my finger down his abdomen and stop when I reach his belt buckle.
“Sort of?” He teases.
“I think I’ll keep you—for now, anyway.”
“Couldn’t get rid of me if you wanted to, baby.” He leans in and kisses me long and hard.
* * *
“Well, the bed
was lovely, the whole five minutes it lasted.” I giggle happily and snuggle into the crook of Grant’s neck. “Thanks for doing that.”
“I know I’ve been really busy lately. It was my way to thank you for putting up with me. Even when we seem distant, I just want you to know I still love you more than ever.”
“I know, but it is nice to hear it. I love you, too.”
“Besides, I figured it’d get me the really good ‘need you right here, right now sex.’ Worked like a charm.” He chuckles until I punch him in the ribs.
“Such a sweet talker, no wonder I fell for you on day one.”
“Day one, huh? That’s not how I remember it. I remember having to put in quite a bit of effort to even get face time with my little ice queen.”
“Well, yeah, I had to at least put up a little resistance. Otherwise, what would be the fun?”
“Resistance? I kissed you, and you ran away. No number, no goodbye. I thought I needed a breath mint or something,” he teases.
“Nope, your breath was always annoyingly fresh, even in the morning. That was the problem. You were essentially perfect—pretty boy, rich, and I was just plain old me. Truth? The very idea of you freaked me out.”
“Well, good thing I’ve shown you no one is perfect.”
“Ha, isn’t that the truth.”
“You weren’t supposed to agree so quickly.”
“You forget—I’ve had your cooking.”
“Touché.”
“You’re a terrible golfer, your handwriting is chicken scratch, you move your lips when you read, and when you think no one is looking, you adjust yourself.”
“Okay, okay, I got it. I suck.”
“Nope, you’re just not perfect. But you’re perfect for me.”
“Well, then I guess I must be the luckiest, non-perfect man alive.” Leaning in, he presses his lips to mine so sweetly. Oh, those lips. It’s moments like these all the crazy is worth it. In moments like these, I forget the chaos of his family or both of our demanding jobs. I forget about the doubts of having a baby sitting on my chest, asphyxiating me, because in moments like these—I have him. I have him, and nothing else in the world matters. Unfortunately, the euphoria never lasts forever. Reality always comes back into focus, effectively crushing my airways once more.
* * *
“What do you
all want to do tonight?” I ask, picking up my glass of wine from the dinner table—crisp, sweet, sparkling white wine. Grant always orders my favorite. He knows me well. I smile over at him after taking a sip, a simple thank you. “We could go to a show, or would you guys rather gamble?”
“I’m up for anything,” Liam states.
“Yeah, I don’t care. I’m down for whatever,” Keith chimes in.
“Me, too,” Ralph agrees. Ralph is Grant’s cousin, the same one Whitney hated as a kid. Turns out, once Ralph Kennedy outgrew his acne and braces, and his balls dropped, he grew up to be pretty sexy. He is taller than Grant, with chestnut hair, and a basketball player walk. Whitney swears it is just about sex, but I know her well enough to know it’s getting serious.
“Ladies?” I ask looking over at Whitney, Sara, and the guys’ dates.
“Let’s do both. Hit up the Cirque and then the casinos?” Whitney offers, looking around the table.
“Best of both, works for me.”
The table all agrees so we take in a show after dinner. I’m enthralled by a girl yo-yoing from the ceiling suspended by a mere thread when Grant leans over. “My phone, I have to take it. I’ll be right back.” He kisses me on the forehead before sliding down the aisle and heading to the exit. I’m too engrossed in the show to care too much. A few minutes later, he slithers back down the aisle to me. “Hey, I have to take care of some business. Alyssa, I’m so sorry. I will meet you guys out gambling as soon as I can wrap it up.”
“Yeah—sure. Text me when you’re done, and I’ll let you know where we end up.” I want to fight him. I want to yell at him for ditching me when he said he’d leave his work out of our trip—but I don’t.
A little while later, Keith slides in the seat next to me. “Hey, where did Grant go?”
“Work.” I smile, but it’s a disappointed smile.
“Well, he’s missing out.” He pats me on the back.
“Yeah,” I say with confidence even though I don’t feel it. “He’s going to miss me kicking ass at Black Jack.”
“Exactly.” He smiles encouragingly at me and brushes my arm before returning to his date.
“Where’d your sexier half go?” Whit asks, leaning over to me.
“He had to take care of something for work.” Having to answer to our friends about him leaving is starting to make my blood boil. I don’t care about work. I should be more important. I should be number one, but I’m not. He always seems to have something to take care of for work. Like a ton of bricks to the head, the realization I am a complete hypocrite sinks in just then. Shit. I can’t be mad at him when my job is number one most of the time, too. I can rationalize it’s because I help people. I deliver life into the world. The hard truth is still he should be number one and he isn’t always. I’m a total hypocrite.
When the show ends, everyone is standing cheering. I stand, but I can’t bring myself to cheer. I need a drink. “Come on, let’s get out of here before the masses start to exit,” I yell to the group over the noise of the crowd.
The nine of us each take a seat on the leather chairs at the slots. I end up next to Sara. “Grant have to go take care of some work?” She pulls the lever down.
“Yep.” I angrily stab the button on the machine.
“He’s such a turd.” She yanks on the lever again.
“Yes. Yes, he is. But how can I get mad? I live my job, too.” I frown and hit the button again with a closed fist.
“Maybe, but you are a doctor. Your job is important.”
“I guess, but still…”
“Grant is a turd. Period. You’re on vacation.” Lever yank.
“You know, you don’t have to pull the lever, right? There are buttons.” I reach down to hit the button on her slot and she slaps my hand away.
“Yeah, I know. I’m superstitious. I think it’s good luck if you pull the lever.” Sara grins at me like a little kid. “Besides, it’s more fun that way.”
I can’t help but laugh. I pull the lever down on the slot machine I’m seated at then.
“So, when are you and my big brother going to give me a little bambino to spoil?”
“Um, well…” I stall, trying to find the words.
“Oh, my God, you’re pregnant!”
My face falls, telling her she’s wrong without any spoken words.
“Grant doesn’t want kids? That fucking asshole. I should go find him right now and kick his ass.”
“Sara, slow down. We’ve actually been trying since last year. It just doesn’t seem to be working.”
“Well, there are things you can do to help it.”
I eye her. “You do remember I’m a gynecologist, right? I know there are fertility treatments I can do. I’ve thought about it and I may pursue them soon. I’ve been checked out—there isn’t any reason to believe there is anything wrong. I really want it to happen naturally if possible. That’s part of the reason for this trip, actually. We’re trying to relax and de-stress.”
“Oh, yeah, seems like Grant is doing an excellent job of that. Where is he again?”
“He should be meeting up with us soon. He said he’ll message me to find out where we are.”
“Well, I still resume my earlier assessment, Grant is a shit.” Just then, lights go off above our heads and a siren blares. “I won! I actually won!”
“Not bad. Eight-hundred bucks ain’t too shabby!” I let out a low whistle. The rest of the gang is crowding around her machine.
“Damn, I can’t get a hit to save my life. At least one of us won something,” Whitney says walking up, slugging back the end of her drink.
“Can we all cash out now and go hit another casino?” Liam suggests. “I’m tapped out at this one.”
We round everyone up after cashing out and head out the front entrance of the casino. We exit and the hot, humid Vegas air feels rather nice after the freezing climate of the casino. Everyone is chatting animatedly as we walk down the strip. Out of nowhere, Keith stops in front of me and I run smack into the back of him.
“Keith? What the heck?”
He swings around to face me. “I’m sorry, Lys. I just had an idea. You guys, we should go to Treasure Island. I want one of those drinks they have there.”
“You almost took me out because you want to get some frufru drink you could get anywhere?”
“Sorry, they have these awesome frozen ones there in these special collector glasses. I get one every year. I almost forgot about it. It’s sort of a tradition. The casino is on the other side of the strip. If we don’t go now we’ll probably forget and then I’ll have broken tradition of getting my cup.”
The begging look in his eyes is strange. Keith is pale like he’s seen a ghost, and he is acting so odd. I’m not sure what his deal is, but I go along with him. “Yeah, okay. Everyone cool with that?” He’s like a big kid, but I humor him.
Everyone nods and follows as Keith and his date, Heather lead the way to our destination. I hang back with Whitney, far enough behind I can talk to her privately. I throw my arm around her shoulders and walk close so only she can hear me. “Okay, am I crazy? Did you just see that, too or am I losing my marbles?” I whisper.
“What? Keith?”
“Shh!” I scold. “Yeah, Keith. It was weird, right?”
“I’m sure it was nothing.” She says it with conviction, but some nagging part of me thinks there is more to it.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”