The Truth About Ever After (9 page)

“Eric
and I want you guys to come over for dinner this week,” I said. “Welcome the
newlyweds home, you know?”

“That
sounds nice,” she said. “What night?”

“Whatever
works for
you.
You know what,” I said, as if the
thought had just occurred to me, “let’s invite the girls, too. We can look at
each other’s pictures from the trip.”

“They’d
like that,” Jen said. “Maybe Ginny can get a sitter.”

“Or
she could bring the kids,” I said casually. “That wouldn’t be a problem at
all.”

As
Jen walked back to her office, I couldn’t help but smile to myself.
So far, so good.

Chapter Eight

“Eric,
can you please check on the lasagna?” I called out from the bathroom. “They
should be here any minute!”

“The
lasagna is fine,” he said, coming to stand in the doorway to watch me apply my
makeup. “I checked two minutes ago, which was the last time you asked me. Kiki,
you need to relax, okay?”

“I’m
just excited.” I leaned forward to add another coat of mascara. “We don’t
entertain at home very often, you know?”

“Yes,
but we just spent an entire week with these people,” he pointed out. “It’s not
like they’re strangers.”

I
sighed. Boys just didn’t get it. “Did you remember to put the magazines away?”

“Yes,
sweetie.
And the shoes by the front door.
And my porn
collection.”

I
narrowed my eyes at him. “Oh, very funny.”

He
gave me a roguish grin and came closer to stand behind me, putting his hands
around my waist. “You smell good,” he murmured, sniffing my hair. He looked
over my head to meet my eyes in the mirror. “I would much rather spend this
evening alone with you.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively in the mirror and
I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Let
go of me, you creep,” I said, slapping at his hands as I giggled.

“You
love my creepy ways.” Eric leaned down and nuzzled my neck, kissing me lightly
just above the collarbone. It sent little shivers down my back. Just as I was
about to give in and kiss him back, the phone rang.

“That’s
probably the doorman!” I yelled, pushing him back. “Baby, please get the phone
so I can finish my make-up.”

“So
much for getting you to relax,” Eric muttered as he walked down the hall.

I
heard Eric on the phone, instructing the doorman to send our guests up. I quickly
finished my mascara and applied a last coat of lipstick. Smacking my lips
together to blot, I double-checked my appearance in the mirror,
then
headed out to the living room to make sure everything
looked okay.

I
had spent the afternoon cleaning, putting away all the junk that Eric and I let
accumulate in the living room. I had gone out and bought several bouquets of
flowers which
were now scattered in vases around the living
room.
Hmm, I wonder if five vases are too
many?
I thought to myself.

In
the dining room I had set our formal table with the china from our wedding,
something I usually only got to do if my parents were coming to dinner. There
was something so fun about throwing a dinner party. For about the millionth
time lately, I wished my best friend Kara hadn’t moved to New York. When she
left, my social life had suffered immensely.

The
knock on the door distracted me from my melancholy and I tried to boost my
spirits.
You have these friends here,
right now. Nothing to be sad about!

“Hi!”
I said, throwing the door open to see Jen and Matt standing in the hall. “I’m
so glad you guys are here!”

I
hugged them both in turn, and then stepped aside so they could enter the condo.
I peered into the hallway for the others, but they seemed to be alone. Behind
me, I heard Eric greeting his brother and sister-in-law.

“It
smells great in here,” Matt said.

“Thanks;
I made lasagna.”

Matt
gave me a look of mock horror. “
You
made it?”

“Shut
up, I’m a good cook,” I said, pushing him. I looked at Eric and raised my
eyebrow, clearly indicating he should be backing me up.

“Uh,
yeah. She’s a great cook,” he said, somewhat unconvincingly, and we all
laughed.

 
There was another knock on the door
behind me. Eric opened it this time, revealing Annie, Nate, Ginny, and
Josh—who, I noticed immediately, did not have their children.

“Hi!”
I said, trying to hide my disappointment. “Welcome!”

After
hugging everyone, I turned to Ginny, doing my best to sound casual. “I thought
you were bringing Danny and Maggie.”

“Oh,
God no,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I know what a nice condo you have.” She
gestured around the room. “Danny would destroy something within minutes, and
Maggie would end up crying through dinner. No thanks.”

“Plus,
we found a sitter,” Josh chimed in. “If you ever have kids, you will find that
when you can get a sitter, you take it, no questions asked.”

I
laughed politely along with everyone else, but inside I was trying to tamp down
my irritation.
Yeah, if I ever have kids,
I thought.
I was actually looking to you
guys for some help in that department!

As
we herded the group in toward the living room, I caught Eric’s eye. He was
looking right at me, a very amused and knowing look on his face. I tried to
ignore it. With or without the kids, I was the hostess tonight and I now had a
living room full of people.

“So,”
I said, putting on my brightest voice. “Who wants some wine?”

***

“That
was a fun night,” Eric said later, as we got ready for bed. “We should do stuff
like that more often.”

“You’re
right,” I said, smiling at him as I rubbed my hand lotion in. “I love those
girls. Jen is so lucky to have such good friends.”

Eric
came around to my side of the bed and wrapped me up in a hug. “You missing
Kara?”

“Yeah,”
I said, hugging him back. “A lot lately, for some reason.”

Kara
and I had been friends since junior high, attending high school and college
together—she had even been my sorority sister in college, and one of the
few people I still kept in touch with. Even the other two girls in my wedding party
were rarely in touch anymore, both married now and way too busy to hang out
with girlfriends. Kara, though, had stuck with me, one of the few people in the
world I could always count on. I hated that she lived so far away now.

“You
still got me, you know,” Eric said, kissing the top of my head. “I know I’m not
as fun with the girly stuff, but I’ll be your stand-in best friend.”

“You
are
my best friend.” I looked up at
him and met his eyes, wanting him to know I was serious. “You always were,
always will be.”

He
lowered his head and kissed me, lightly. “I love you,
Kiks
.”

I
chose that moment to yawn loudly. Eric smiled. “Bed?”

I
nodded. Eric kissed me once more then released
me,
heading out to the living room to check that all the lights were off and
everything was locked up, his nightly ritual. I climbed into bed and pulled up
the covers, feeling suddenly very tired.

Eric
was right: it had been a fun night. Once I got over the fact that I would not
be showing Eric the joy children could bring to our home, I relaxed and enjoyed
the company. But all the cleaning and cooking had caught up to me now, and I
felt like I could sleep for ages.

Eric
climbed in next to me and turned off the bedside light before pulling me close.
I snuggled into him, feeling ready to drop off, when a rumble below my cheek
told me he was laughing softly.

“What?”
I asked.

“I
was just thinking of your face when you realized the kids weren’t here,” he
said, chuckling. “It was priceless.”

“What?”
I spluttered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Eric only laughed
harder.

“Tell
me the truth,” he said, pulling me from his chest to his side so he could look
me full in the face. “Did you want to have this dinner so I would be forced to
spend time with children?”

I
squirmed, uncomfortable. When he said it like that it made me sound kind of
manipulative. “I just thought it would be nice to spend some time with little
ones,” I said. “Since, you know, we agreed to start thinking about it.”

“Which
is also why you keep sending me articles about the joys of fatherhood, right?”

I
stared at him. “You didn’t say anything about those! I was starting to think
you weren’t getting them.”

“Oh,
I got them,” he said, laughing again.

“Eric,
you said it yourself. Having kids is a really big deal. I just wanted to give
you some tools to help you think about it.”

Suddenly
he lay back on his pillow, pulling me close so my head was again resting on his
chest. “I have been thinking about it.” His chest vibrated slightly beneath my
ear as he spoke. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since you brought it up
after the wedding.”

“Really?”
I asked, my heart starting to beat faster. “And… what have you thought?”

“Honestly?”
I nodded against his chest. “Honestly, it scares the crap out of me.” I felt my
stomach plummet. Damn it. “The thought of being responsible for another
person’s life… it’s a huge, huge deal, Kiki.”

“I
know,” I whispered, feeling like I might cry. I had so hoped we were moving in
the right direction.

“But
I also think… I also think it would be really awesome. You know? You and me,
our own little family.”

I
gasped, sitting up so I could see his face. “Really?”

“Sure.”
He smiled up at me in the dark. “I keep picturing a little you running around,
some tiny little thing with blonde pigtails. And I picture all the stuff we
could do together, family stuff. I know that’s corny—”

“No,
it’s not,” I said firmly. “Please don’t get all macho on me.”

“You’re
right,” he said, pulling me back down so he was holding me again. We were both
quiet for a moment. My heart was pounding so hard. I felt like we were on the
precipice of something, that there was somehow no going back from this moment.
Eric sighed.

“
Kiks
, I really don’t know if we’re ready. But I was talking
to Josh in the Bahamas—”

“You
talked to Josh?”

“
Shh
, let me finish,” he said, kissing the top of my head. I
nestled down into his chest, my favorite place in the world. “So I was talking
to Josh and he said he didn’t think anyone ever felt totally ready. He said he
didn’t have a choice with Danny, what with the surprise of it all. But he said
even with Maggie, even after he knew they could handle a kid, it was still
scary.”

“I
guess that’s just natural,” I said.

“Exactly.
He said it was normal to be afraid. He said he figured he knew he was ready for
Maggie when his excitement was bigger than the fear.”

I
held my breath. “How’s
your
excitement?” I finally asked.

“It’s
getting there, Kiki.”

I
wanted to ask what that meant. Was he ready? Could we start trying? If he
wasn’t ready, how long was it going to take? Could I get some kind of a
timeline here?

“Why
don’t we just see what happens?” he asked, as if he had read my mind. “I don’t
want to make a huge deal out of it, but you could stop taking your pill. And we
could just… see.”

“Really?”
I struggled to control my rising excitement. I didn’t want to freak him out.

“Sure.
If it’s meant to be right now, you’ll get pregnant. We’ll let the universe
decide.”

Suddenly
I was kissing him and laughing at the same time. I felt like he had just given
me the best present ever. A baby! We might have a baby!

“Are
you positive?” I asked, pulling back. “You’re not just trying to make me
happy?”

“No,
Kiks
,” he said. “I wouldn’t do something like this
just to make you happy. It’s too big of a deal.”

I
snuggled closer to him. “You’re right,” I said, kissing his chest lightly.

“However,”
he said, holding me even tighter. “Making you happy is a fringe benefit.”

I
giggled softly, loving this man so much, before I leaned forward to kiss him
once more.

Chapter Nine

With
my mind so occupied with fantasies about having a baby, I barely had time to
get excited for Christmas, which was normally my favorite holiday.

This
year I would get to spend the holiday with my entire family. In addition to the
normal crowd of grandparents and extended family, my parents had invited my
in-laws to their annual Christmas Day dinner. Then Jen and Matt decided to join
us as well, since her mom and step-dad were out of town for the holidays. She
was bringing her father along too, and I was so looking forward to a full house
for Christmas. I heard my cousin Bella might even join us, and she was never
around for family gatherings these days.