The Twelve Dates of Christmas (7 page)

‘Not a peep. All I know is he keeps having hushed conversations with the director.’

The director of the Royal Ballet knows about me!

‘I have something to ask you,’ Penny said. ‘I know you’ve just finished with Seth, but I was wondering … how would you feel about going on a blind date?’

‘No way.’

‘At least think about it. He’s a nice guy – the brother of one of the other dancers. He’s
très
rich—’

‘I don’t care how rich he is, I am so not ready to go on a blind date. To be honest, I don’t think I ever want to go on a blind date.’

‘I think it’ll be good for you,’ Penny said with authority, despite the cheese dangling down her chin.

‘Everyone thinks they know what will be good for me. I absolutely do not want to rush into a new relationship.’

‘Who said anything about a relationship?’ Penny chuckled.

‘I don’t need a new man to make me happy. I don’t need a man to make me happy
full stop
. I am Rihanna.’

‘Of course you don’t need to be with someone to be happy. But what I’m suggesting is that you go on a date or two and let yourself feel better about you. You’ve been with Seth for so long. Even if nothing happens with these guys it’ll do you good to know that not everyone is like him. And maybe it’ll boost your confidence a bit.’

‘I don’t want to.’ Claudia was a grown woman and wasn’t going to be pushed into something she didn’t want to do. Did Penny assume that because she was damaged right now she couldn’t think for herself?

‘You’re going on a date
tonight
. Why are you so against another one?’

‘Because tonight is just a bit of fun with someone I know well. It doesn’t have … implications.’

‘But it’s still going to be date-y. Come on, Claud, it might shave a few days off wallowing in misery.’

Claudia sighed. She didn’t have to agree to this.
I can do whatever I want
.

‘And if nothing else, it’ll help keep you busy, like you just said.’

Her flash of annoyance was subsiding. Maybe she should stop telling herself she didn’t want to do things just because she felt she shouldn’t. She doubted Seth was in mourning, wherever he was.

She and Seth had broken up because they hadn’t said ‘yes’ to each other enough. If she hadn’t said ‘yes’ to Nick she wouldn’t be going to the party tonight, and (maybe) becoming a ballerina once more.

Saying yes was a good thing. Sometimes.
Let’s just see if this is one of those times
.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘YES!’ Penny wiped her mouth with her napkin. ‘That’s brill, because I said you’d meet him at Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park at eleven tomorrow morning.’

‘What if I’d said no?’ Claudia demanded.

‘Then I would have called it off.’ Penny shrugged. ‘You can do whatever you want.’

Nick knocked on Penny’s door at bang on six o’clock. Claudia adjusted her silver-ribbon belt and plumped up her high pony tail one last time.
Enjoy date three
, she told herself.

She opened the door to find Nick smiling, handsome in his charcoal suit. ‘I can’t believe you wore it!’ he whooped, taking in her outfit. ‘You look stunning.’

Claudia felt herself blush. ‘Stunning’ was a little overboard. ‘I wore
some
of it. Thanks for sending this over, you’re very sweet.’

‘No problem.’ Nick held out his arm and she stepped through the door, locking Penny’s flat after her. ‘Hope you didn’t think it was too much.’

‘Not at all, but Laura and Beth are ready to kidnap you and keep you for ever.’ She peeked at Nick. ‘I had a lot of explaining to do about this not being a date, you know.’

Nick caught her eye and chuckled. Claudia grinned and looked away.

They sat together on the train, with Claudia feeling strangely shy. Her tummy was fluttering as she stared at the Tube map, counting down the stops. She could sense Nick peeping at her from time to time.

Her heart thudded along with the chug-chug-chug of the underground, and she felt her palms sweating. What was she doing? She didn’t belong there tonight, with those people. She shouldn’t be here with Nick.

What was it about tonight that made her feel like she was walking a tightrope?

Nick took her hand in his. It felt warm and big, and it gripped hers securely. He pulled it over so both their hands rested on his thigh. Claudia stared at it, steadying her breathing.

‘I’m going to keep holding this until it stops shaking,’ he told her, his eyes fixed on the Tube map.

You’re not helping
.

They emerged from the crammed Tube station into the bustle of Covent Garden. Christmas music blasted from the shops, all with their doors flung wide open and heaters blowing warmth into the faces of late-night shoppers.

People were everywhere. Some were happily weighed down with a pick and mix of the stores’ festive shopping bags, in gold, red and silver. Some were dressed to the nines ready for a night out in London town. Many were standing around the entrance to the station, their faces glowing, as they watched and waited for their friends, families and first dates.

Nick held her hand as they weaved through the crowd. She found herself humming along to the Christmas classics.

‘Relaxing a little?’ Nick asked.

‘A little,’ she admitted. You can’t stay too jittery when you’re washed with songs that remind you of dozing on the sofa with a Chocolate Orange and watching
Home Alone
.

‘We don’t have to go to the party until you’re ready. Shall we just walk around for a while?’

‘Will you tell me the secret before we go in?’

‘Nope.’ Nick shook his head. ‘It has to be there. But it can wait. Can I buy you a mulled wine?’

He led her to a wooden hut with fairy lights on the roof and spiced steam rising from enormous steel urns within. Nick leant over a fat garland of green ferns and silver pine cones that was strung across the counter. He ordered two mulled wines. As the woman poured out the thick ruby drink Claudia found herself studying Nick’s profile.

What a familiar face. She knew it like the back of her hand, and yet he looked somehow different tonight.

Nervous? Maybe.

Handsome? Maybe.

He was trying so hard to make sure she was happy. Why was her stomach butterflying more than it ever had around him?

He turned back to her with the drinks. ‘Enjoy!’ He raised his Styrofoam cup to her.

They both took a sip and their eyes met. Claudia quickly shut hers and focused on the heady sensation of the hot wine hitting her tongue. The tang of orange and the mellowness of cinnamon and nutmeg smashed together, and Claudia let loose a blissful ‘Mmmm.’

Nick took her hand again and they walked, unhurried, across the cobblestones and into the market. They passed through an archway and found themselves standing under a hundred glossy red baubles the size of smart cars. They hung from the glass roof at different lengths, while two enormous silver glitter balls twinkled in the centre.

Nick pulled out his phone and motioned for Claudia to step ahead of him, happiness bouncing around his face. ‘Stand there, I need a picture of these.’

She grinned at his excitement and dutifully posed for his picture. He angled the camera to capture her and the baubles and then, lowering the phone, asked quietly, ‘Can I take one of just you?’

‘Sure,’ she said, trying to sound natural. This was only Nick. They had a thousand photos of one another. Claudia unbuttoned the front of her coat to show off her outfit in the photo.

‘Thanks. It’s just that you look really lovely.’ He blushed a little and concentrated on the phone. ‘And, you know, I’m pretty chuffed with my amazing fashion sense.’

Claudia laughed and tugged on the neckline of the sequined dress. ‘You did well,’ she concurred. She moved back beside him and instinctively their hands slotted together. She struggled for neutral conversation. ‘I had a brilliant time with Jennifer last week.’

‘So I heard. Thanks so much for taking her, she’s wanted to go for so long.’

‘My pleasure, I love hanging out with her.’

Nick glowed with pride. Jennifer was his little sister, who suffered from cerebral palsy. Claudia had taken her to the Making of Harry Potter studio tour. Any excuse for Claudia and Jennifer to hang out and they both jumped at the chance.

Claudia and Nick passed boutique windows dressed in tinsel and spray-on snow, and a Salvation Army brass band wrapped in thick wool coats and knitted hats, gently playing ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’.

Oh, tidings of comfort and joy …

She was ready.

Stepping into the penthouse bar the Royal Ballet had hired for the night, Claudia and Nick were hit with a wall of merriment. A live Rat Pack band belted out the best Christmas songs, from a jazzed-up version of ‘White Christmas’ to ‘Fairytale of New York’ with a swing twist. All around them was dancing, cheering, laughing, singing and drinking.

Mini, potted Christmas trees lined the walls and reams of multi-coloured fairy lights glittered across the low ceiling, creating the atmosphere of a grown-up Santa’s grotto.

A girl Claudia vaguely recognised was tottering past with two glasses when she saw Claudia and stopped. ‘HI!’ she shouted over the band. ‘Have a snowball, they’re sooo good!’ She thrust a goblet into Claudia’s hand. Giving Nick a friendly wave, she slunk off into the crowd.

The atmosphere was intoxicating. A grin spread across her face and she turned to beam at Nick. He grinned back, baring all his teeth, delighted at her reaction.

Claudia took a sip of her snowball, the thick vanilla flavour with the brandy hit oozing down her throat. She watched the joyful crowd for a moment.
Somewhere in there is my big secret.

Nick led her into the throng.

People she’d vaguely met before greeted her like they were old friends, and those she hadn’t welcomed her with hugs and clinks of glasses. She felt at ease. Instantly comfortable.
Happy
.

Relief, surprise – and the snowball – swam through Claudia’s veins. Why had she been scared of these people? Why had she never given them a chance? They weren’t scorning her, patronising her, looking down on her. They were lovely! And they treated her like one of their own.

Like one of their own
. She liked that feeling, a lot. If this was her future she could get away from everything. It wouldn’t matter that she’d have to move house and find new love, because she’d be starting afresh. She’d finally be living the life she’d always wanted.

And maybe, just maybe, it would mean that the break up with Seth was what she’d needed.

That was a scary thought. A thought that needed another snowball.

Nick leant close to her ear. ‘Can I get you another drink, Claud?’

She turned her face to him and smiled. His mouth wasn’t far from hers. In her ecstatic state she felt playful, and looked at his lips with an urge to press her own against them.

‘Can you get me the answer to the secret?’

He laughed, making sure not to move his head too far from hers. ‘Not yet.’

‘Then another snowball please.’

He gave her a thoughtful look, and edged off to the bar.

Penny appeared, shoving her way through two very sloshed dancers having a spinning contest on the dance floor. She had rosy cheeks and gold tinsel wrapped around her neck. ‘I’m tipsy!’ she hiccupped.

‘I’ll be there with you soon: wait for me,’ Claudia laughed.

Penny slung a drunk-heavy arm over Claudia’s shoulder and turned her to face the bar, her hips boogying to ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ all the while. ‘How handsome does Nick look?’ she shouted at Claudia, waving her cocktail in his direction.

‘Very.’

‘Has he told you the biiiiiiiiig secret yet?’

‘No – he says I have to wait.’

‘That man is a tease.’

By the time Nick returned with their drinks Penny had danced off into the distance. Passing her another frothy snowball, he took her free hand and pulled her on to the dance floor.

She looked at his neck. What a delicious neck. She wanted to kiss it a lot. Like, a lot. A teenage-vampire lot.

The alcohol and the atmosphere were spinning her hormones out of control. She had to calm down before she did something stupid.

Composing herself, she asked, ‘Can you tell me the secret now?’

He straightened up, his laugh tinkling like reindeer bells along with the band. ‘No, first I need to show you a merry Christmas.’

He lifted her arm and had her spin underneath. And even though she remembered that her heart was broken, even though she was surrounded by all these professional dancers, at this moment she felt more happy and alive than she had in a long time.

An hour later, Nick and Claudia left the dance floor, sweaty, happy and more than a little splashed with drinks. Claudia flopped down on a wide leather chair; Nick stayed standing.

‘I’m ready.’

‘You are?’ she asked, her heart doing a backflip.
Ready for me?

‘Yep. Wait right there, I’m going to get your surprise.’ He raced off around the edge of the room. The surprise. Of course. What else did she think he meant? Her mind was being very silly this evening.

The secret. This was it. Part of her wanted to run. Another part of her wanted to get it over with. She looked around, searching for any hint that would confirm her theory about what the secret was. Make or break time.
I’m going to be a ballerina again.

Nick was returning, along with a man in a nice three-piece suit. He had grey hair and a friendly face, with lots of crinkles around the eyes – a man who everyday saw pleasure in what he was surrounded by.

They drew closer. Excitement bubbled in Claudia like champagne fizz, and she felt the cork was about to pop. She couldn’t cope.

BUGGER OFF!

No, don’t, come and tell me my fate.

BUGGER OFF!

LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH.

Nick held his arms out, motioning at Claudia. ‘This is she. Greg, meet Claudia. She’s a star. Claudia, this is Greg, the director of the Royal Ballet.’

Why the hell wasn’t she saying anything?
SAY SOMETHING
.