The Twelve (5 page)

So, Max turned to Professor Fox and spoke.

“Yes, I think you're right. Probably best that I skip the exam for the moment. Thank you, sir.”

With that he headed out of the lecture hall.

***

As he left the building, he mulled over the details of his paper, and enthusiasm grew within him. He bumped into his sociology professor, Eugenio Rodriguez. Bubbling over with his revelation and anxious to share, Max stopped him and began to talk enthusiastically.

“I've just figured out Whitehead's modes of thought, and have uncovered the secret to ‘understanding understanding,'” he said rapidly.

Taken by the young man's enthusiasm, Professor Rodriguez was intrigued, and he adopted the role of devil's advocate.

“Will that understanding get us to the Moon or allow us to solve any of our current social problems
?
” he asked.

Max hesitated for a moment and then, coming from a level of abstraction that suggested that those who refused to limit themselves to the human system could accomplish anything, he cheerily replied.

“I need to think about it a little more, but I think it will address those issues and more!”

“Keep thinking, then,” Professor Rodriguez replied, “and let me know what you come up with.” With that, he continued into the building.

Intrigued by the professor's suggestion, Max decided a walk in the fresh January air would help him sort out his thoughts. With the sound of snow crunching under his every step, he began to contemplate the varied applications of “A is and is not A” and what “understanding understanding” might really mean to each and every human on the planet.

There could be practical applications. The law of impenetrability that stated that no two objects could exist in the same place at the same time might no longer always be true. This would alter the nature of physics and might allow the development of new technologies that could overcome the limitations of the speed of light and other constants, resulting in great advances in space travel and the colonization of other planets.

The realization of “A is and is not A” changed the parameters for all logic, and the conclusions that purely logical theory could provide. The realization changed the axioms upon which general mathematics were based, and thus would have an impact on all hard scientific investigations.

Max's mind started spinning.

It could be the answer to our very existence . . . our life's purpose, he mused. We're all connected and not just in superficial ways.

As he contemplated these concepts he was approached by Professor Fox, who revealed that he had been searching for Max. The professor looked him in the eye with both admiration and trepidation.

“Your paper is brilliant, Max, but I'm not sure I understand it,” he said. “I've asked Gordon Howell, the graduate student in charge of your philosophy section, to take a look at it.

“He wants to see you in the dean's office as soon as possible.”

***

“This doesn't make sense to me,” Gordon Howell said sharply. “I don't understand your thesis at all. You state that somehow feelings must be part of any left-brain, analytical analysis. This is neither logical nor practical.”

He looked Max straight in the eye.

“And you seem very angry—angry not only with Yale and your instructors and fellow students, but with all of humanity.”

“You're missing the point,” Max said, exasperation entering his voice. “I'm angry with the hypocrisy of this institution, not the institution itself. There is much at Yale that is wonderful, but I'm talking about the highest levels of truth. You need to reread my paper, and you will see that according to Whitehead, what I say is true—that ‘A is and is not A.'”

At that point another man entered the room, and Max recognized him as Dean Bridges. He handed Max a form.

“Max, I've spoken with Professor Fox and Mr. Howell,” he said quietly. “It seems to them that you could use a rest, and perhaps take some time off from your regular classes, as well.” He gestured toward the piece of paper Max was holding. “Please sign this withdrawal form, and you'll be able to return to Yale whenever you are rested.”

Max hesitated for a moment, then realized that he would rather study independently the effect of “A is and is not A” on all of human learning. So he looked back at the dean.

“Where do you want me to sign
?
” he asked.

A moment later he had officially withdrawn from Yale.

A large man with curly, black hair then entered the room and introduced himself as Dr. Weinstein from Yale's Mental Health Services. He told Max that he had arranged for him to stay at the infirmary, where sleep medicine would be prescribed.

While Max considered this, Dr. Weinstein explained that he had seen the effects of drug abuse in many of the students, with their erratic behavior and forced insomnia due to overuse of uppers to help them through exams.

Max, he said, was a classic case.

So without any fuss, Max followed Dr. Weinstein to his car. He was taken to the infirmary, where he was given sleep medicine.

Thirty minutes later he called for the nurse and asked if she could get him some books from the library. She informed him that it wouldn't be possible, and said that he needed to sleep.

“At least bring me paper and pen,” Max entreated. “I have some ideas in my head that I need to get down. It can only help me sleep.”

She didn't seem comfortable with the idea, but she did as he asked.

Thus he spent the next four hours writing and analyzing how “understanding understanding” could alter all human action and thought. He expressed his ideas on the nature of human relationships.

If “A is and is not A,” then all relationships are and are not what they appear. A man may be a son but at the same time not a son. A wife may be a wife but at the same time not a wife. A student may be a student but at the same time not a student.

The statements at first just seemed to be obvious, but Max saw how most wouldn't understand at all what this implied. For Max it meant that all human programming was based on false premises, false axioms that led too often to confusion and missed opportunities for the highest and best interaction between humans.

He could see how “understanding understanding” would help resolve political and economic conflicts. Once false premises were revealed, completely new structures could be created—ones that would not require hierarchical distinctions.

He continued to focus on the implications for mathematics and philosophy. “A is and is not A” resolved fundamental philosophical knots. It explained away paradoxes and enabled a higher level of abstraction for ever more complex mathematical systems.

Max was in a world of his own, delighted with his mathematical formulations and the excitement of his ideas. These continued to prevent him from sleeping, despite the strong sleep medications he had already consumed.

Dr. Weinstein came by to visit him and prescribed an even stronger dose of sleeping pills, which finally did the trick. Within twenty minutes of his visit, Max fell into a fitful sleep.

He woke the following morning and was ready to leave the infirmary. He started to get dressed, but the nurse stopped him.

“Please wait for me to call Dr. Weinstein,” she said quickly. “You can't just walk out the door without his approval.”

“But I feel fine,” he protested. “I got some rest, and I want to go to the library to investigate the impact of what I have discovered.”

The nurse insisted he stay, and seeing how distressed she was becoming, Max got back into bed. He didn't want to upset her any further.

When Dr. Weinstein arrived, he told Max that he would have to stay in his room until his parents—who were in Europe—picked him up when they returned in a couple of days. He informed Max that if he resisted in any way, his parents had given them authorization to restrain him, and even take him to a mental institution, purely for his own safety and protection.

“If you make any more attempts to leave, that's exactly what is going to happen,” Dr. Weinstein said, and his tone indicated that there would be no debate on the matter.

Max was aghast.

“But my parents would never authorize such behavior,” he asserted.

“Well, they have,” the doctor replied, “and I will commit you if I must.” Then his voice softened. “We'd really like to keep you out of a mental institution, if at all possible. Max, you've had a psychotic break. This happens and ironically often with our best students. There's a lot of pressure in coming to Yale, and you don't need to feel embarrassed by this, but you must cooperate and allow yourself to be treated.”

“You are being given Thorazine and some other antipsychotic drugs,” he continued. “They will help you sleep, and will get you over your delusions. You must cooperate,” he repeated, “and as long as you do, no doubt you will be able to reregister next fall and continue your college career without any loss of credits.”

Still, Max couldn't accept what was being done to him.

“But I'm not delusional. I just happen to understand understanding. This is entirely unfair,” he protested.

With that, however, it became clear that the conversation was over. The doctor gave him a vague look as he left the room, and it dawned on Max that Dr. Weinstein really did think there was something mentally wrong with him.

Calming his internal turmoil, he reflected on the mental health issues inherent to his family. His mother's younger sister Miriam had been placed in a mental institution as a young girl. As fate would have it, that's where she met her husband Michael, who was also a patient. Michael had been deemed unstable, but he ended up buying a large swamp outside of New York City, in New Jersey, which he sold for millions of dollars to the company that eventually built the Meadowlands football stadium.

Max's great-grandmother on his father's side committed suicide by throwing herself off the roof of the Brooklyn apartment building in which she lived when she discovered that her son-in-law, Max's grandfather, wasn't “keeping kosher” and was actually bringing bacon into her kitchen.

There had been other extended family members who were considered unstable, although, except for his aunt, none of them had been institutionalized.

In the light of his musings, Max did pause to consider if perhaps he actually might be mentally unstable. While he concluded that he was not, he did recognize that his theorem of “A is and is not A” had an inherent schizophrenic element to it—more a kind of controlled madness, but what might be considered madness none the less.

***

In his three-day stay at the infirmary Max experienced sluggishness and other side effects of the medication. He did start sleeping longer and longer periods, but his enthusiasm for the potential of his equation remained undaunted.

His father arrived to pick him up, and as soon as he entered the room, Max tried to discuss his breakthrough, but Herbert showed no interest. He spoke in a matter-of-fact way and gestured to Max's belongings.

“Just follow me to the car and let's get out of here,” he said briskly.

When they arrived home, Jane greeted him with warmth and love and explained that Dr. Weinstein had arranged for Max to meet with a local psychiatrist. She further explained that neither she nor Herbert were to talk with him about “understanding understanding” or any of his philosophical insights, for fear of exacerbating the problem. Only Dr. Austin, the psychiatrist who had been selected, would be permitted to discuss his breakthrough.

These conditions frustrated Max, but rather than upset his parents, he agreed to them, then went to his room to get settled.

The next morning Jane drove Max to meet with Dr. Austin, a portly man with gray hair and glasses. His son was a professional musician who had worked with Jerry Jeff Walker on the album that included one of Max's favorite songs—“Mr. Bojangles.” This singular fact created a rapport between doctor and patient that would otherwise have been sorely missing.

Dr. Austin had written a well-reviewed book about the psychological forces that had created Adolf Hitler, and that, too, intrigued Max. The doctor was proud of the fact that his home in Tarrytown had once been owned by Mark Twain, who no doubt had written some of his masterpieces in Dr. Austin's own study.

Dr. Austin explained that he had dealt with grandiose thinkers before, and there was no doubt in his mind that Max was suffering from a condition known as “grandiosity.” Nevertheless, Max spent their first five sessions together trying to explain the nuances of his “A is and is not A” equation and why it was such a breakthrough.

But Dr. Austin wasn't buying it.

He kept increasing the dose of Thorazine, until Max felt groggy most of the time. And he was to visit with Dr. Austin five days a week until further notice.

***

It was late May before Dr. Austin felt any significant progress had been made and reduced the sessions to three days a week.