Read The Ultimate Inferior Beings Online
Authors: Mark Roman
The Ultimate Inferior Beings
By Mark Roman
©
Copyright 2012, Mark Roman
Cogwheel
Press, 2403 W Ash St, Rogers, AR 72758, USA
www.cogwheelpress.net
Published
in the United States of America
ISBN
978-1477492208
First
Edition, 2012
All
rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written
permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a
review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses,
organizations, places, events and incidents either are the product of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
PART
THE SECOND: THE NIGHT RIPPLE
PART
THE FOURTH: THE BENJAMINITES
Appendix
III: Document 7351/87-A
All the characters in this
story are real, and live in Birmingham.
PART THE FIRST: TENALP
It would be fair to say that
Tenalp, being the remotest of Earth’s colony planets, had never attracted the
finest minds. All the best people – the most intelligent, the most creative and
the most highly skilled – had settled elsewhere, leaving Tenalp with what was
left. So it was no surprise that many of the planet’s inhabitants, particularly
those at the higher levels of authority, were somewhat lacking in brilliance
or, in Tenalp parlance, as dumb as a bag of bricks.
Chapter 1
11.03 am, 12 Mar 49 A-PE,
Tropecaps Spaceport, Tenalp
The
three flight
controllers crowded around smuX’s terminal with looks of bewilderment and
concern. Above the din of a warning buzzer could be heard mutters of “This is
impossible!”, “What’s going on?”, “Doesn’t make sense!”
smuX chewed his nails as he
stared at the video-feeds and data streams on his screen. “pliX, go tell droX,”
he said, not taking his eyes off the console.
“Tell droX?” asked pliX. “Are
you sure? He’s...”
“I know, I know. But he’s
spaceport controller now, so we have to let him know what’s happening.”
pliX hesitated. “We don’t
know
what’s happening.”
“Just tell him there’s an
emergency. Remember: keep it simple. Words of one syllable.”
“‘Emergency’ has four.”
smuX flashed him a grin. “Good
point. Try to find a one-syllable alternative.”
pliX hurried out of the
Operations Room and raced down the corridor trying to think of a monosyllabic
synonym for ‘emergency’. By the time he burst into droX’s office the best he
had come up with was ‘crisis’.
“Boss, there’s a cri...”
He froze. With open mouth he
stared at what his superior was doing.
droX froze too. The hand that
had been twirling a cotton swab deep in one ear stopped twirling and the cheeks
reddened. The men’s eyes locked for a second. Then the seated man whipped the
swab out of his ear and tossed it at the recycler. His other hand shot out to
switch off a pink nose-trimmer, still buzzing on the desk in front of him, and
to sweep it into a drawer. The same hand also swept a mirror, a pack of cotton
wool and some bottles of ear drops into the same drawer before pushing it shut.
pliX hardly noticed. His eyes
were glued to the trajectory of the swab as it bounced off the rim of the
recycler and headed in his direction, spinning gracefully as it sailed through
the air. He tried to dodge out of its way, but wasn’t fast enough to prevent it
landing on his right foot, a glistening blob of orange at one end. No sooner
had it landed than he flicked it off with a jerk of his leg; but, too late. Part
of the orange blob remained on his shoe.
“You were saying?” asked
droX, his arms folded, his desk clear.
“Er,” said pliX, still
staring at the waxy residue. “There’s an emergency... er... crisis, sir.”
“Oh?”
pliX tore his eyes from the
orange globule; he’d have to clean it later. “It’s The Living Chrysalis, sir.
She’s coming in to land.”
“And that’s an
‘emergency-er-crisis-sir’, is it, pliX?” The older man cracked a smile and
rubbed his nostrils between finger and thumb.
“Yes, sir.”
“A spaceship, coming in to
land at a spaceport?”
“The Living Chrysalis is a
starship, sir,” corrected pliX.
“Ah yes.”
“And she’s due here in
September.”
“Of course.”
“It’s now March.”
droX’s eyes flicked to the
calendar on the wall. “So it is.”
“So she’s over six months too
early.”
droX leaned back in his
executive chair. “Better early than hurly-burly, I always say.”
“No, sir,” said pliX, a note
of exasperation entering his voice. “She’s far too early. She’s made the
journey from Earth in under a month, sir. And that’s against the Laws of
Physics.”
droX took a deep breath. “Ah,
yes, the Laws of Physics. F=ma, E=mc
2
, and that other one.” He
stroked his chin. “So, let’s see if I’ve got this straight. This spaceship...
sorry... starship is coming in to land, earlier than the Laws of Physics allow?
Is that it?”
“Precisely!” pliX struggled
to stay calm.
“Interesting.”
“You need to come quickly.
She’s landing any second...”
droX raised a calming hand.
“Better to think, than blinking sink. Let’s have all the facts first, shall
we?”
pliX wanted to scream.
“What does her captain say?”
asked droX.
“We can’t get through, sir.”
“Not all dead, are they?”
“We don’t know. We really
don’t know what’s going on.”
“It wouldn’t look good if...”
“No, sir.”
pliX’s patience had nearly
run out when, with a heavy sigh, droX raised his large frame from his seat.
“All right, I’d better take charge of this one. We don’t want any mistakes.”
pliX gave a hesitant pause at
the last statement. “Er, no, boss,” he said. Then added, “Sorry for
interrupting...’
“Oh, just taking a break,”
said droX, casually stepping over the cotton swab on the floor. “I’m a busy
man, you know. But I’d rather you knocked next time.”
“Yes, sir.”
*
The two men left the room and
strode down the corridor. pliX, young and keen; his boss, older and wider. As
they approached the Operations Room there was a tremendous roar, a seismic thud
and the whole floor jerked from underneath them, making droX lose his footing
and fall to the ground. He lay on his back for a second, thrashing his limbs
like an upturned beetle, before the younger man pulled him back up. The tremors
faded and the corridor filled with the din of alarms as droX brushed himself
down, swearing under his breath.
“Sir, she’s crashed on the
landing strip!” cried smuX, emerging from the Operations Room and having to
yell above the noise.
“Crashed?” shouted droX,
rubbing the side of his leg where he had landed. “What happened?”
“Looks like pilot error,
sir.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure. I’d say we’re
clear of blame on this one.”
The spaceport controller gave
a nod.